Chapter 46: Alive
Remus felt his heart stop as he realised that no one else has returned but Harry and Hagrid. He turned to Molly who was tending to George's wound. She glanced up and caught his eye. She was deathly pale and with a slight shake of her head, Remus felt his knees almost fold beneath him but he steeled himself.
Instead, he gripped his wand tighter and grabbed the front of Harry's shirt, "what is the creature that sat in the corner when Harry Potter first stepped into my office?"
Harry was gaping at him, "What-"
"What creature?" Remus could hear his voice rising as he shook Harry.
"A grindylow!" Harry said, obviously shaken for he had never seen Remus act like that. Sighing, Remus nodded and let him go, looking down at his bloodstained hands.
"Sorry, I had to make sure you weren't an imposter," Remus turned to Molly, watching her try to heal George's ear, "We have been betrayed. Snape cursed George's ear off before I could-" Remus paused as Molly looked up, "I'm sorry Molly,"
Molly shook her head, clucking her tongue, "No, Remus, I'm thankful you brought him back, alive," She pulled Remus into a firm hug, "and you, any wounds?" Molly searched him visibly but Remus shook his head.
Suddenly, they heard a whoosh outside and Remus exchanged a look with Harry before dashing out the door. He was glad to see Sirius and Mundungus but he couldn't help it as his heart sank. Sirius' hair was windswept and Mundungus looked green in the face but both look unharmed.
"Stop," He raised an arm before Harry to stop him from rushing to Sirius.
Sirius, like Remus, had his wand raised. Remus opened his mouth to ask the question but Sirius beat him to it, "What was the colour of my underwear on the first day of school in our first year?" Sirius smirked.
Behind him, Remus could hear Harry chuckling, "You weren't wearing any and what is your problem, Padfoot?" Hagrid guffawed in the background.
Sirius shrugged, "I had to ask something only the two of us knows and trust me, even James didn't know this one," He winked at Remus before hugging Harry. Then he caught a glimpse of Remus' bloodied hands, "Mate," Sirius' mirth was gone as he frowned, "you alright?"
"I'm fine. Severus cursed George," Remus muttered. Sirius' eyes widened as he dashed into the house.
Remus closed his eyes briefly as he was left alone to his thoughts. His hands were trembling.
Then there was a small sound and Remus opened his eyes to see Kingsley and Hermione. Remus did the same security procedure with Kingsley. Then there was Arthur and Fred. With each appearance, Remus couldn't help but let his hope sink.
"Moony, mate," He heard Sirius mutter and placed a hand on his shoulder. Remus tensed, wanting to shrug off Sirius but refrained from doing so. His worry, he knew shouldn't be taken out on others so he remained quiet, "it'll be okay," Sirius said and Remus could hear the fear and shakiness in his voice; that unconvinced tone that told Remus, Sirius may have been trying to convince himself of that.
"She should've been the first to be back," Remus heard himself say, his tone cold and dead, "She's been ill for a while…and I should've never let her-" He stopped, burying his face in his hand, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Nymph will be fine, Remus. She's an auror, doesn't she always strut around boasting about it?" Sirius scoffed and Remus allowed a brief nod. There was a sound of the portkey followed by a flutter of wings and Remus looked up, guessing it and seeing it to be Bill and Fleur, both unharmed. Sirius did the security proceedings and Bill proceeded inside to check on George.
All the while, Hermione, Harry, Sirius and Remus stood outside, watching the night for any movement.
Dora. I promised I'll be careful. I am. I'm here. You promised too. Where are you?
A form appeared in midair before falling to the floor, skidding to a stop. Remus froze as Ron scrambled off the floor. Hermione and Harry's relief could be heard as they rushed forward to Ron but Ron approached Remus. He had a slight limp in his leg and he was breathing heavily.
Ron was back to looking like himself. The side of his head was bleeding from a gash, his face was drenched in sweat and he was pale. His eyes were wide with hysteria. He clutched Remus by his arm, "I'm sorry, Remus!" Ron said thickly, tears running down his face, "I'm sorry," Ron looked down, pleading with Remus and crying. Remus could only stare.
"Ron?" Sirius grabbed his arm, "Where's Tonks? Ron!" Sirius yanked Ron off Remus, shaking him.
"I don't know…she created a portkey. I didn't know it was a portkey or I would never have left without her-" Ron choked out before he sank to the floor, shaking like a leaf.
"Left her? Where?" Sirius himself was slowly slipping into hysteria as he began shouting at the boy, who was evidently in shock. Arthur and Molly rushed out of the house. Remus watched stonily as Arthur shouted at Sirius and yanked Sirius off his son. Molly healed his head quickly, trying to calm him down.
Ron was looking around blearily, sobbing uncontrollably till he saw Remus, "Professor Lupin, I'm- I'm so sorry! I would have never-"
"Ronald!" Hermione grabbed his face, shaking him, "Calm down and tell us what happened to Tonks!"
He seemed to stop sobbing just enough to collect himself to look Hermione dead in the eye, "I saw him. You-know-who. He's there! Bellatrix was with us the whole way and Tonks killed some of them…" He paused, staring into space.
Everyone fell silent and Remus marched up to them, shoving Sirius and Arthur out of the way before he grabbed the front of Ron's shirt, practically lifting him to his feet, "Where is she?"
"We had to land because Tonks' arm was broken and she couldn't pull me up. Then they fought and Tonks just told me to grab the broom…I didn't know it was a portkey, Remus I swear I didn't,"
Remus' look made Ron flinched, "I said, where is she?" His voice was soft but held a venom no one had ever heard in Remus' voice.
"I don't know, it was the middle of nowhere-" Ron stammered. Remus dropped him and Ron fell in surprise. Without another word to anyone, Remus swiftly marched to the apparition point.
"Remus, wait!" Sirius grabbed his arm. Remus growled, yanking his arm from Sirius but he had a firm grip, "what are you going to do huh?" Sirius demanded.
"I'm going to find her," Remus muttered before shrugging off his hold viciously; this time succeeding to but Sirius grabbed him again.
"Did you really think Voldemort would linger if he had her?" Sirius snapped and Remus froze.
Sirius seemed to relax, before rage filled Remus and he shrugged him off again, "I'd still go out to look for her," He muttered. But before he could turn to leave, Sirius grabbed his shoulder and when Remus turned, he felt Sirius' fist collide with his cheekbone.
Caught by surprise, Remus reeled and collapsed. The order members, who saw, gasped.
"You'll not help her by risking yourself!" Sirius snapped before turning around and marching into the Burrow. When Molly made to help Remus up, Sirius turned and shouted, "leave him there, Molly! He has to think it over by himself,"
Doubtful but trusting Sirius' instinct as Remus' best friend, one by one, they entered the burrow.
"We'll try to find her, Remus. But first, we have to regroup," Kingsley told him before entering the burrow. Remus didn't respond, staring into space as he sat in the mud.
He looked down at his hands, bloodied and empty.
So do I. I promise.
When he closed his eyes, Remus could still feel her cold hand cupping his cheek, her body pressed up against his in a hug, her forehead against his lips. He could still see her determined expression as she prepared to leave, her smile when they took off into the sky. As he watched her tell Ron to hold onto her, he whispered words of love which he doubted she heard.
He looked up as the door of the burrow burst open abruptly. Sirius, Kingsley and Bill were walking out of the burrow, wands in hand.
"Where are you going?" His voice sounded croaky and Remus hated how it trembled.
"We'll look for her," Sirius replied.
Remus nodded, plucking himself from the mud and for a moment he toyed with the idea of joining them but then, other matter appeared at the forefront of his mind. A gut feel, "Alright. I'll drop by the Tonkses' to make sure they're okay,"
Sirius looked mildly surprised before he nodded, patting Remus' shoulder, "If she's there, I'll find her, trust me,"
Remus locked eyes with his friend, "I do trust you, as do Dora,"
Sirius shot Remus his signature quick and confident smirk before turning to apparate away with Kingsley and Bill. With a deep breath, Remus resolved where he wanted to go in his mind and apparated without a backward glance at the Burrow.
The Tonkses' household was quiet, eerily so.
Remus raised his wand in front of him, eyes peeled for anything and ears perked. It was one of the benefits of being a werewolf, if there were anything out there, he would hear it.
As he came up to the front door, he stopped and listened. There were footsteps inside, as if someone was pacing. He raised a hand and knocked, his wand still raised.
He heard two set of footsteps now and readied himself. The door opened a crack and he saw a wand before he saw Ted Tonks' face, "I'm Remus John Lupin, Dora's husband. I came by your house twice. On the second trip, you entrusted me with your daughter and gave us your blessing,"
Ted relaxed slightly, side stepping to allow Remus in, "Remus," He nodded, "How is everyone?" He looked uncharacteristically serious in his eyes and he was frowning, "where's Dora? Why didn't she come with you?"
Remus swallowed a lump in his throat as Andromeda, too, came into view, "Dora-" He paused, looking at Andromeda and then back at Ted, "she's missing. She managed to send Ron back but didn't make it back. Sirius is already looking for her,"
Ted paled and Andromeda looked faint.
"I dropped by to make sure everything's okay here," Remus finished as he looked at both Andromeda and Ted. Dora has lost enough.
Then Andromeda seemed to snap out of it as she nodded stiffly. Then she took a few steps to him and Remus was shocked as she tugged him into a hug, "I'm glad you're alright,"
Ted nodded in agreement behind her, "take a seat, Remus," He gestured to the sofa and Remus obliged when Andromeda let him go to make him some tea.
Remus looked painfully at the photos of Dora as a toddler that were put up on the wall. Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Remus jumped, his wand already raised. He stood but Ted was already making his way to the door.
As Ted reached to open the door, Remus opened his mouth to tell his father-in-law to let him do it. Before he could, the door was thrown off its hinges inwards, onto Ted Tonks.
"Avada Kedavra!"
A jet of green filled the room.
Bellatrix Lestrange strutted through the door, flipping back her frizzy hair with an aristocratic air of arrogance about her that was always hinted in Andromeda and Tonks but never flaunted like that. She was smirking as she looked down at the limp body of Ted Tonks.
"Ted, what is going on-" Andromeda appeared in the kitchen doorway and Remus unfroze, throwing spells across the room at Bellatrix and two men behind her. All the while, he sprinted across the room, ducking curses and a jet of green light skimmed his shoulder as he stumbled.
He grabbed Andromeda by her arm and yanked her behind the counter just before the place she once stood exploded.
"Ted?" Andromeda turned to him, her brown eyes wide with a fear Remus had felt a moment ago, but not quite as keenly.
Remus averted her eyes, his teeth clenched as he threw curses and hexes from over the counter. Andromeda's eyes were welling up with tears but Remus saw her draw her wand from the corner of his eye. She gripped Remus' arm and he paused to look at her. In her eyes burnt a furious determination that Remus saw many times in Dora's eyes.
Andromeda nodded to Remus and he nod once in acknowledgement.
They sprang up from where they were, separating.
Andromeda might have been a housewife since the first war and she had stayed out of it mostly for the sake of Nymphadora but from what Remus glimpsed, she held her own.
"Bella," Andromeda snarled curtly, her curse missing Bellatrix as she ducked to the side; the stray curse smashing the clock.
"Andy," Bellatrix taunted, her wand held loosely, "finally coming out to play?"
Andromeda was pointedly avoiding the sight of Ted's limp body as she replied through clenched teeth, "You came to me," With that, a flurry of spells was exchanged. When a jet of green cut through Andromeda's rapid curses, she barely managed to avoid it, letting it hit the counter behind her.
"Soon, your daughter will be as dead as your mudblood husband," Bellatrix sang. Andromeda screamed in rage and pain. Remus felt worry well up for his mother-in-law. He snarled in pain as a curse nicked his free hand, drawing blood. It snapped him out of his reverie and he ducked down, striking one of the masked death eaters on the legs where he heard a resounding crunch and a scream.
The masked death eater before him was no match for him and Remus knew it. He was too slow and had obviously less experience than he needed to win this duel. Remus made quick work of him, glimpsing Andromeda struggling with the grief and her sister's ruthless killing curse.
Remus struck the death eater square in the chest and he fell back, still. Just then, a blood curling scream filled the room and Remus turned to see Andromeda, a heap on the floor, clutching her middle. Bellatrix was standing over her, a grin on her face, frozen in a cackle.
Remus intercepted the cruciatus curse, catching Bellatrix on the arm in a deep gash. It very near took her arm off, if she hadn't noticed him and parried his curse away at the very last minute. Bellatrix cackled as she saw him, "I told that wench I would kill her half-breed husband. And now I can. Along with her blood traitor mother and her mudblood father,"
"They're your blood," Remus said, his voice dropped as he realised how lost Bellatrix truly was. It was in her eyes. She was blood crazed, eager to kill and mad.
Bellatrix threw her head back and cackled, her body shaking with laughter, almost convulsing, "my blood?" She spat on the floor, missing Andromeda's trembling body by an inch, "Andy ceased to be part of the family when she married a mudblood,"
"Andromeda only did what you can only dream to do,"
Bellatrix's eyes widened and they filled with mad fury. Remus ducked, letting loose a barrage of accurate stunners, cringing as the killing curse hit the photo frame behind him, raining broken shards of glass all around him, "How dare you!" Bellatrix screamed, her voice almost a screech as she fired the cruciatus curses so fast, Remus had no choice but to duck down and keep moving.
He dove behind the couch, glimpsing the front of it explode as the cruciatus curse hit it.
Remus glanced out to see that Andromeda was no longer on the floor but already having cover; just as he had hoped by buying time.
He grunted and casted a shield charm against shards of glass that exploded towards him as the Tonkses' glass display cupboard exploded.
Gritting his teeth, he dove out, firing quick curses in succession. From the kitchen, he saw Andromeda taking his cue and too going on the offense. Bellatrix had a smirk on her face as she parried Andromeda's curse back to her while casting a shield charm to be protected from Remus'.
Remus allowed a small satisfaction as his spell singed her cheek but she barely flinched. He turned, casting a quick patronus and watching his non-corporeal patronus disappear through the wall.
"Remus!" Andromeda screamed. His body burnt in pain; a pain comparable to his worst transformation. He felt himself hitting the floor but didn't hear himself scream because he didn't.
A tear escaped his eye. So this is how Dora felt…
Pain drew her out of the darkness she seemed trapped in.
"Ow!" She cried out in her semi-conscious state. Someone was touching her arm, that was the second thing she registered.
Her eyes opened and she saw a blurry vision of Snape standing over her. His face was set in the same expressionless look, his eyes seemed carved out of stone and his lips set into a permanent frown.
"I said ow!" She snapped as he lifted her arm by her wrist.
His stony eyes turned to look at her face rather than her arm, "I know," He replied flatly, "Drink," Snape thrust out a vial, already uncorked and tipped with the liquid at the tip precariously. She propped herself up on the elbow of her uninjured arm and threw her head back. Through her state of deliria, she suddenly remembered. Snape killed Dumbledore. He betrayed the Order.
With all that happened, she actually forgot and experienced a throwback to the days before Dumbledore was killed; where she was stuck in Spinner's End, being constantly nursed back to health by Snape only to have her beloved Aunt put her back into bed less than gently.
She jerked her head upright and choked on the liquid.
Snape didn't seem surprised as he merely withdrew the empty vial and watched her cough and splutter, seemingly trying to spit out the liquid, "if I was trying to poison you, a drop on your lips would've had you cold and dead instantly," His baritone voice was anything but assuring.
Tonks glared at him, "why did you save me?" He ignored her, prodding her arm and Tonks drew back, hissing in reflex. She realised, on hindsight, it didn't hurt. In fact, she could barely feel her body. She fell back on the bed as her arm gave out behind her, her glare unwavering as he turned and hunched over the table beside her bed. When he turned back to her, he had his wand in his hand and he made to tap her injured arm with it and her objections fell on deaf ears and a numbed body.
Through the dull numbness of her body, she couldn't help but admit grudgingly that when his wand tapped her arm, relief surged through the muscles in her arm, loosening them. She watched him work quietly but observing him cautiously; not that she could do anything if he decided to kill her.
"Your bones are completely shattered," Snape told her and Tonks rolled her eyes at his tact and subtlety. He tapped her arm again, cutting through the sleeve of her clothes and pulling the cloth off, baring her arm. She frowned at Snape. She couldn't, for the life of her, figure out this man. He killed Dumbledore without batting an eyelid. In that hall, he begged for her life and now, he was patching her up.
A hard cast formed around her arm before Snape turned away again. She heard the clinking of bottles.
"You'll drink these thrice a day," He instructed, levitating the bottles to the table on the left side of her bed; since her left arm was the one which was fine. She gagged inwardly as she glimpsed the telling bottle of Skle-grow. Snape made to pack all the potions before he paused and stood beside her once more.
Tonks watched frantically as his wand hovered over her belly, "Don't!" She pleaded, doing her best to sit up and only managed to incline her head. Snape locked eyes with her and in that moment, Tonks took the leap of faith, laying back down and staring at the ceiling, praying she made the right choice.
He muttered a few spells and she felt nothing.
"You placed some protection around the…foetus," It wasn't a question but the hesitant way the word escaped his mouth made Tonks snicker inwardly.
She nodded stiffly, "I had to," Tonks recalled, guilty, escaping Remus for a moment to go to the kitchen to cast the protection spell as well as collect the chocolate that would be her excuse for her absence.
"It was prudent," Snape said and Tonks rolled her eyes; that was probably the nicest sounding thing he said to her in all the years she knew him, as a student till this day.
Tonks' brows knitted as she studied Snape's face, "Is the baby okay?"
He seemed to ponder for a moment, waving his wand before he nodded, "fine," He replied curtly. With a wave of his wand, another bottle levitated to join the other three beside her on the table, "drink this every morning and night,"
"Is that for the baby?" She asked, curiously watching the opaque white bottle.
He nodded, a quick jerky movement.
Tonks studied him as he vanish the vials of potion into a bag, "Thank you," Snape seemed to linger for a while, something he was not known to do, "What is it?"
He hesitated, "Leaving too soon will cause suspicion," Snape's deadpanned tone made her feel stupid for asking.
Tonks nodded, "why did you save me?"
He locked eyes with her before looking away and ignoring her question again, "You'll stay here as the Dark Lord bid you to,"
Tonks frowned, she glanced at the door, a hand on her belly, "I'll not have the baby here," Her voice spelt no room for debate. She was surprised when he nodded in agreement, albeit a little stiffly.
"We'll see what can be done," He said, his tone low.
"So what have you been up to? Apart from stabbing everyone in the Order right in the back this evening," Her tone dripped with venom and Tonks almost regretted saying that once the words were out of her mouth but Snape dropped eye contact.
"I'll be at Hogwarts," He replied, "But I'll come back here," to keep up the act. Snape sat down on the edge of her bed and she shifted rigidly, "Don't do anything stupid," His hand covered hers on her belly and she froze.
She opened her mouth but then there was a knock on the door. Peter Pettigrew peered in with watery eyes.
"What is it, Wormtail?" Snape snarled, not sparing him even a glance. Peter's eyes widened as he saw Snape leaned closer to her, his hand on hers, his eyes fixed on her.
"The Dark Lord has departed and ordered me to make sure Miss Tonks' needs are met," Peter squeaked. He was wearing shabby robes, he had a bald patch and he was sweating badly. Tonks glimpsed the silvery hand he had and turned away in disgust.
Snape snorted, "Don't you dare come near her," He stood, standing in front of Peter, blocking Tonks from view. Snape's was taller and broader around the shoulders than Peter was, thus effectively towering over him.
"T-the Dark Lord said-" Peter made to protest. His lower lip was trembling.
"Her needs will be met by me and me only," Snape cut him off, "if you come near her, or even touch her…" He let his voice trail away as he stared down his nose at Peter. With a squeak of acknowledgement, he made to retreat out of the room when Snape spoke again, "where is Bellatrix?"
Peter's eyes widened, "s-she l-l-left,"
Snape nodded curtly and shut the door in Peter's face. When he turned back around, he was frowning and seemed to be in thought before coming to a decision.
"What is it?" Tonks furrowed her brows.
He looked up, as if remembering she was in the room as well, "Nothing," He replied curtly, "you should sleep,"
Tonks watched him suspiciously for a moment before giving it up. She could be very stubborn when she had to be but Snape was the worst, "and you?" She was disgusted to feel fear creeping into her chest for Snape might be leaving and in this state, she was no match for anyone in the Malfoy Manor if they should come.
Snape waved his wand and the bedside table on the right was shifted away. Then he proceeded to charm the single bed into a larger than usual double bed. He gave her a meaningful look and then glanced at the door and she knew, they were being watched. He sat on the edge of the mattress with his back to her for a long time.
Remus must be worried sick… She thought as she settled down to sleep. Then she felt something being pressed into the hand of her uninjured arm. She looked to see her wand in her hand. She nodded her thanks, feeling its magic, warming and filling her with relief.
Tonks heard a flutter of fabric with the wind and glimpsed Snape removing his cloak.
"Who is she?" Tonks spoke, curious, her voice low, "The woman you loved,"
Snape froze in his movement to place his cloak on the hook on the door. He eventually did and Tonks felt the mattress shift as he sat and lay down, "She's dead," He said, emotionless as usual but Tonks could hear the cracks.
Tonks would say sorry but she knew it wouldn't mean a thing; it wouldn't make up for the death of someone you love that much. So she took a shaky breath and kept quiet, her tired mind and body slipping into slumber.
Tonks wasn't sure but she could've sworn she heard him whisper his thanks; for her silence.
A/N: Huge thanks to the amazing reviewers of last chapter; AliciaMarieL, Lupinesence, agentloki33, guest, remusdora and JKStorm501! You guys are the reason this chapter is already out, quicker than I would expect.
Do leave me a review for this one!