Chapter 47: Sorry
Remus glanced up to see Andromeda sobbing into Sirius' shoulder, as she had been for an hour now. Sirius was muttering assurances to her, rubbing her back comfortingly. As he caught Remus' worried looks, Sirius nodded.
The Order had responded to Remus' patronus almost instantly. Arthur, Bill, Kingsley, and Sirius had apparated to the front of the house, all firing well aimed stunners at Bellatrix as they burst into the house. In her concentration on the cruciatus curse on Remus, she was struck. They made a good effort to apprehend her but she disapparated away before Kingsley could reinforce the anti-apparition wards that she brought down on her arrival.
Bill and Arthur had helped Remus to the couch while Sirius comforted Andromeda, who sank to her knees beside her unmoving husband. Remus was mildly aware of Kingsley securing the area. Remus had a cup of hot tea shoved into his hands as he sat and stared.
He had failed Dora. He let Ted be killed before his eyes and he only watched.
"Not your fault, Moony," Sirius noticed his furrowed brows and didn't hesitate to speak up.
Remus looked down at the tea in his hands, "Did you find anything?" He was almost afraid to hear the fact, despite their turning up so quickly and empty handed telling to their find, or lack thereof.
"No," Kingsley replied, stepping back into the house from the kitchen, "The place is scouring with death eaters, probably looking for any stray Order Members or…" His voice trailed away and Remus knew what he wanted to say but didn't, for Remus' sake.
"Picking up the pieces," Arthur offered. It was common in the first war that they had to resort to stealing off the dead, for wands and such but Remus didn't want to think that there was any dead bodies to steal from, apart from the death eaters.
"How's Ron?" Remus spoke, swallowing the lump in his throat at the mention of the youngest Weasley boy, a stark reminder of Dora.
Arthur clasped his shoulder, "He's shaken and has some minor wounds but he's fine," Arthur glanced at Andromeda, "He owe his life to Tonks, and our family is forever grateful," Remus stiffened and nodded, accepting his gratitude with little or no comfort at all. Andromeda hardly acknowledged him, the only signs that she heard him was that her sobs intensify.
"Don't mention it, Arthur," Remus croaked out to dispel the awkward atmosphere that had Arthur shifting uncomfortably.
"My Nymphadora," Andromeda sobbed, shaking.
"Hush, Andy," Sirius whispered, "Nymphie is strong, she'll be fine and we didn't see a body so she's alive, just captured," He patted her back, "we'll get her back, I promise," Bill and Kingsley straightened, nodding. Sirius looked up and locked eyes with Remus, "we will get her back,"
Tonks sighed, wincing as she testily shifted to get up. Her arm hurt at every little movement; making Snape's warning to stay in bed with minimal movement very prudent. But she couldn't stand another moment longer in bed. She placed her wand by the bedside table, throwing aside the covers with her uninjured arm.
Gingerly, she propped herself up and moved her legs off the bed. She hissed in pain, gritting her teeth, as she jostled her right arm but at least she was on her feet. Tonks scooped her wand into her left hand, comforted by the feel of its magic pulsing through her.
She looked down at her wand. It melded into her hand, falling snugly between her fingers. In times of danger, her wand always had a comforting feel to it, the connection between the witch and her wand strongly felt; something she tended to neglect and take for granted when she felt safe.
She felt the tips of her lips curl up into a smile as she grasped her wand firmly.
Tonks shuffled slowly to the window, sitting on the low and wide window ledge. It was cloudy and grey outside. From her seat, she could glimpse the main gate of the manor, as well as the path leading down to the front door of the house. The thought of the advantage it gave her bloomed into her chest, since she has had the importance of having her sights on the exit drilled into her head at training.
She tried to loosen a crick in her neck as she leaned back on the wall. The fatigue she felt was overwhelming and an annoyance to her; a disadvantage in such a dangerous place. Tonks tensed as she felt a flutter in her belly, making her sit upright. She gasped as her arm was jostled but then another flutter interrupted her wince.
She placed her wand in front of her, on the ledge, as she palmed her belly. There was bump. She marveled at the feel of it, sure it didn't belong there for most of her life. She had worked her abdomen flat and muscled from all the sit ups and crunches Mad-Eye had her do in Auror training.
Another flutter.
Hey there," Tonks' voice was soft, barely above a whisper. The fluttering stopped, "are you okay, little one?" She brushed her belly using the pads of her thumb, "I'll make sure you're nice and warm," She picked up her wand and summoned the extra covers. Gently, she lay it out over her abdomen and legs, "There, is that better?" There was no more fluttering. "
Upon a moment's thought, Tonks rolled her eyes at herself, "Your old mum must be silly from sleeping too much," She pushed the covers away from the swell of her belly, "It's summer and I bet you're already nice and warm in there and you probably just want some attention, don't you?" Tonks tilted her head as she tried to feel for anything. A thought came to her and she picked up her wand, waving it over her belly to reinforce the protection charms she had placed on it.
Frowning, she realised it was already reinforced but she did so anyway. It was ridiculous, she knew but the protection charm will protect the foetus more than it was already protected by nature. The charm already proved itself useful when she fell from the broom and the foetus was fine.
She felt a tingling sensation around her middle as the charms are set up and a stronger flutter this time, "It's okay, honey. Mum's just doing all she can to make sure you're extra safe," She assured the bump of her belly. Suddenly, she felt stupid. She must be lonely if she was having a conversation with an unborn foetus. Yes she was lonely and vulnerable. She would be weaker than a mewling kitten if she got attacked.
Tonks sniffed, appalled to feel tears on her cheeks. She scrubbed them away roughly, "No, I am an Auror. I am not helpless," She hissed. Another flutter, "no, Mum's not scolding you, honey. Mum's angry at herself," She paused, closing her eyes in resignation of the feeling of being very foolish. Tonks had never been a big believer of pregnant women and their mood swings but she was starting to believe it. She reached for the covers with her left hand, bringing it up to bury her face in, "Oh Remus…"
Sirius' steps were quiet as he walked down the stairs. Remus looked up and nodded to acknowledge his friend. Bill, Kingsley and Arthur have left to go back to their respective homes. Kingsley reinforced the wards and told them not to hesitate to call him if anything shall arise. Then he went on to bring away Ted's body to St Mungo with Arthur.
Andromeda had cried herself to sleep on Sirius' shoulder and Sirius had carried her up to bed himself. She couldn't even spare a glance at Ted's unmoving body without looking faint.
"Moony…" Sirius touched his shoulder and Remus tensed.
"Padfoot," Remus replied, pointedly refusing to look at him.
Sirius sighed, "Look at this," He reached for Remus' wrist. Remus glanced at it to see it cut up and bleeding, probably injured from the shards of glass; Remus couldn't remember, "and this," Remus glanced to see Sirius pointing at his face, where more cuts probably were.
"I'm fine," Remus muttered, snatching his hand back and wringing his fingers.
Sirius sat down beside him, rolling his eyes as he shoved the medical kit at Remus, "Put medication on, Moony," He patted his shoulder, "normally, you're the one nagging at James and I to do it, or you'll just sit on us while you do it. Admittedly, that's not my specialty, so why don't you do it yourself?"
"Sirius," Remus said, his tone low and dangerous, more hostile than he intended, "I said I'm fine,"
Sirius sighed heavily again, "I know you want to be left alone but trust me, you and your thoughts alone together is never a good thing," He planted his ankle on the knee of the other leg purposefully, "So you'll just have to bear my company, or enjoy it. Your call, mate,"
Remus grumbled under his breath as he straightened up in his seat and opened the medical kit. Beside him, Sirius whistled in triumph and Remus spared him a withering glance; that gave him pause. Sirius' trimmed hair, neat this morning, was tousled. His eyes had dark circles under it. His skin was sallow, his cheek thin.
"What?" Sirius frowned at his stare.
"You look-"
"Handsome? Absolutely breath taking? Gorgeous?" Sirius offered. Remus snorted, shaking his head.
"Like hell, I meant to say,"
Sirius pondered it, "not the usual compliment I get. I think you meant devilishly handsome but thanks,"
Remus couldn't swallow the chuckle that bubbled.
Sirius smiled, an uncharacteristic smile that didn't have the glint in his eyes or the haughty air about him. It was a somber one, for Remus' sake, "heal that," He feigned a disgusted look and Remus reached to his cheek. He winced, feeling a cut sting, "your neck too, Moony,"
Remus nodded, pulling out his wand and muttering spells on the cuts on his hand first. It didn't fully seal and Remus grimaced. His healing abilities have always been better than Sirius' but not the best it could've been. Resigned that it was the best he can do, Remus dabbed medicine on it.
"Sirius," He started as a thought came to him. He heard a mumbled sound beside him and plowed on, "Do you think Snape would know anything?"
Silence.
Sirius took a breath, "Yes, Snivellus would know something," He sat up, beside Remus, "but he wouldn't tell us anything, Moony. He killed Dumbledore for Merlin's sake,"
Remus nodded mutely.
"He'll kill you when he sees you, or me," Sirius rolled her eyes.
Remus looked down, nodding.
"We'll get her back, by ourselves,"
"We don't know where she is," Remus muttered, "or if she's-"
Sirius pursed his lips underneath his moustache, "she's not, mate. I know it and you know it too, you're just too pessimistic to admit it,"
For once in his life, Remus wished Sirius was right.
Tonks glimpsed someone walking swiftly down the path at the front of the house and sat up straighter. She tensed when she found out it was her deranged Aunt. In her hand, she held her wand loosely. For some reason, Tonks noticed she was walking faster and she had an irate look about her.
She tightened her grip on her wand as Bellatrix vanished from her sight.
As she feared, there were sounds of someone walking, or rather running, up the stairs before the door of her room burst open to reveal Bellatrix. She was clad in her corset dress, as usual. Her wand was held outstretched in front of her. Tonks held her wand up, leaving her perch on the window ledge as she regarded Bellatrix cautiously.
To her confusion, Bellatrix's irate expression suddenly vanished to be replaced with her mad cackling.
Tonks frowned but allowed some glee as she glimpsed a deep gash on her arm that was still bleeding.
"I killed your mudblood father,"
Tonks' blood ran cold. No… No, mum wouldn't allow it. Remus would never allow it and the order- But Bellatrix's eyes were flashing in that sick exhilarated glint, as if she had won.
"Believe it, half-blooded abomination that you are," Bellatrix sang. Tonks stared. Everything she saw in Bellatrix screamed that she was telling the truth. But maybe he's not dead… She was grasping at the straws and she knew it, "If it wasn't for your filthy half breed husband, I would've gotten your blood traitor mother easy enough. She's so busy breeding she has forgotten how to put up a fight,"
Tonks' eyes flinted down to her gash.
Bellatrix's eyes followed her glance and she sneered, "Yes, I owe your filthy half breed husband," She brought up a hand and scrubbed away the blood from the gash ruthlessly, "He put up a good fight but it wasn't long before he too-"
Tonks couldn't bear to hear it. A dark blue jet streamed from her wand. Bellatrix snarled, parrying it away in annoyance.
"How dare you?" Bellatrix's scream was deafening but its effects were lost on Tonks. Bellatrix raised her wand and Tonks felt a strong flutter in her belly, it felt almost frantic. Tonks seemed to be snapped out of grief and shock as she scrambled down, onto her knees. A jet of black skimmed her head and exploded behind her, the impact sent her forward on the ground.
Tonks bit back a scream as her injured arm was jostled and sandwiched. She hit the floor with her jaw, hard. Then it occurred to her. I can't give up. My baby's depending on me. My baby…The life I made with Remus…and Remus…
She made to get to her feet but before she could, Tonks felt a hand clutch a clump of her hair, yanking her head back. She winced, her head snapped back to look up at the deranged face of Bellatrix. She was smirking when she saw Tonks' wince.
With an angry growl, Tonks sent a quick stunner back. It caught Bellatrix by surprise while she was busy gloating. The stunner hit her in the rib, making her release Tonks and stumble back. Tonks put some distance between them with lithe step that were in built in her. She didn't hesitate to follow up with quick and well aimed stunners and jinxes. Bellatrix snarled and parried them away.
Her offensive spells were fast, accurate and deadly. Tonks cursed as she struggled to parry them away, use shield charms or just duck them. As much as she hated to admit it, Bellatrix had an edge over her in terms of dueling skills and the dark lord's protection over her had been the only reason she's still alive
Tonks cried out when her klutzy nature caused her injured arm to nick the open door and she fell. Her wand was taken despite her firm and insistent grip on it. Bellatrix grabbed her by her hair and all but dragged her out of the room and down the stairs. She gritted her teeth, struggling all the while but Bellatrix seemed to have an unyielding grip on Tonks' hair.
She threw Tonks against the floor and Tonks felt a full body bind wound its way over her body. Tonks could barely blink, much less resist when Bellatrix sauntered closer, cackling, "the dark lord might believe Snape fully but I don't," she lunged forward abruptly, "do think I'm a fool?" Tonks couldn't even gasp when Bellatrix backhanded her across the cheek.
With a wave of her wand, Tonks felt the bind on her face let up enough for her to speak, "I take you for a loyal servant to the Dark Lord,"
Something flickered in Bellatrix's eyes, just as Tonks'd hoped. Bellatrix's black eyes glanced up towards the front door nervously, "when I find out this abomination you carry is not of Snape's, the Dark Lord will be grateful for my service," she countered eagerly.
Tonks snorted inwardly, "but before you find out, he'll punish you for touching me,"
Bellatrix looked down her nose at Tonks, "crucio,"
Everything in her body burnt and she cried, not for the torture she felt, but for her baby. She screamed, not incoherently but, pleadings for her baby which surprised Bellatrix enough to make her stop and cackle, "itty Nymphie is begging me," she sang and her voice echoed up the hall.
Tonks sobbed. She felt pain but it held nothing against the fear she felt, like nothing she had ever experienced. She wanted to curl up and protect her baby. She wanted to run.
She felt the wind stir as Bellatrix crouched beside her and waved her wand over her belly. Tonks tensed and struggled but she couldn't move an inch, "you casted protection charms on this brat," the glint in Bellatrix's eyes made Tonks want to throw up, "and you're thorough," she waved her wand and Tonks could feel the telling tingling leave her as the protection was removed, layer by layer.
"No, please, " her voice dying in her throat as she felt the last of the wards is removed.
Bellatrix ignored her pleas, her cackling reaching a screeching pitch.
"Please!" Tonks screamed when she felt her aunt run the sharp tip of her knife down her stomach and to the swell of her belly.
"Bella," Snape drawled.
Bellatrix looked up sharply and Tonks felt her body sag against the floor, relieved but the fear kept her from passing out altogether. Both of them have not heard him enter. Bellatrix hissed, "Snape,"
"What are you doing?" He demanded in a dead panned tone but his pale face and lips, pulled thinner than usual, showed his fury. Although Tonks has had Snape be angry towards her as a student but never like this.
"I'm teaching my niece," Bellatrix screeched and without warning she threw her knife at him. Tonks barely saw him whip out his wand but it was already in his hand, the thrown knife skidding across the floor away from them. He marched forward, sudden and fast.
Bellatrix snarled and retreated, her wand drawn and raised against Snape. He glared at her as he crouched down beside Tonks. His eyes cold and fixed rigidly forward, Snape barely looked her in the eye as he placed a stiff hand on the swell of her belly in an almost concerned gesture.
In the background, they could hear Bellatrix gagging before she sneered at them, "I don't know why you're helping this wench, Snape. But this act is not fooling me. I will find out the truth and when I do, I'll carve that abomination out of her belly and kill her slowly,"
He released her of her body bind and he picked up her, his body felt too rigid to be comfortable. Tonks felt too cold and in shock to speak or resist. Instead, she found herself burrowing closer to him and away from her aunt, who was looking wide eyed and deranged. Snape regarded Bellatrix with cold opal eyes, "you're welcome to try," his baritone voice was flat, "but surely you do not need me to remind you of the Dark Lord's wishes for Nymphadora till the baby is born. He would be most displeased to find out you defied him,"
Bellatrix's nostrils flared, "till the baby is born, or till I uncover your lie,"
Snape walked pass her calmly, sparing a glance down at Tonks' white visage, half of it buried in his shoulder. She whimpered as he bumped her arm constantly while he walked up the stairs but he didn't stop and she knew he couldn't.
He paused momentarily at the doorway, glancing at the broken lock of the door before marching straight in.
"You're shaking," Snape drawled and Tonks pursed her lips, turning away from him as she lay on the bed; her pride as an Auror stung. He looked at the cast containing her arm and made to reach for it but Tonks met his hand halfway, clutching his hand in hers firmly.
"The baby, please... S-she used the cruciatus curse and I c-can't feel him moving anymore," she hated the way she stuttered but he was right, her body was shaking and she could barely stop it, much less muster courage to steady her voice.
Snape nodded, waving his wand and she lifted her head to look as her belly lighted all the different colors. Then he opened his potion kit, laying out an impressive number of vials containing different colour of potions. He picked out one white one and unstoppered it, "drink," he snapped, pressing it to her lips.
She heeded him without question, exhausted and terrified. Warmth snaked its way down her throat and into her middle. Numbly, she touched the swell comfortingly, "we're okay, little one, we're okay," feeling a wave of nausea hit her all of a sudden, she lurched out of bed, leaning off the side and threw up magnificently.
"Ah... It does tend to do that," Snape drawled and she felt his hand on her back. If she felt uneasy with his uncharacteristic humor, Tonks failed to realize her uneasiness and groaned instead. He pushed her back into bed, less roughly than he normally handled her.
"Thanks for the heads up," she scrunched up her nose at the stench of her vomit as she sank back against the covers.
"You're welcome," he drawled and Tonks rolled her eyes.
"M-Our baby?" She glanced towards the closed door as she corrected herself hurriedly.
Snape nodded, "fine, after that potion. The protection charms worked. A little unsettled but fine now,"
She felt herself sigh in relief. Glancing to the side, she watched as Snape turned to keep his potion kit. Then she saw the bottom half of his robe and his shoes and noticed she had vomited all over him.
"I'm sorry," she croaked, hating the weakness in her voice, "sorry..." Her voice trailed off. He turned to see her lying on her side. Her eyes seemed to be looking at something faraway, welling up with tears.
Snape glanced down at his soiled robes and shoes, annoyance flickering across his eyes momentarily, "forget it," he replied dismissively and that was all the 'it's alright' she'll be getting from him but tears were now running down her face quietly.
"Sorry...I'm so sorry... Sorry..." She mumbled over and over. Snape watched her stonily before waving his wand to soothe her abused injured arm and reinforcing her cast. He even frowned at her never ending tears, siphoning her tears and snot more than once with his wand but she was oblivious, mumbling the same thing over and over.
It was at a point where her mumbling turned into a mundane drone of the room, it occurred to him that those apologies were no longer for him. He sat down in the chair beside her for a moment, vaguely entertaining the idea of silencing her with a flick of his wand but refrained from doing so eventually.
When she was quiet, he glanced to see that she was asleep, her face stained with tears. Snape stood, ridding her of the stains and siphoning lingering tears before he swept out of the room.
A while later, Severus Snape walked briskly back into the room. He stopped in front of Tonks, looking down at her sleeping form for a moment before he leant over to press her wand into her limp hand.
She mumbled another barely coherent sound of an apology to her late father, her brows furrowing before her fingers closed around her wand, bringing it closer to her chest. Her other hand clutched his wrist before he could sit back. Snuggling down into the covers, Snape yanked at his hand but it remained firmly in her death grip.
He glared at her before planting himself down into the chair in resignation.
A/N: Hope you like it! Thanks to all the reviewers of last chapter; MoonDoll33, remusdora, Guest, AliciaMarieL, Lupinesence, Guest and JKStorm501! You guys are amazing and reviews attract lots and lots of plot bunnies! My ideas are coming in faster now and I'm making great progress on this story, even considering a sequel! So keep those reviews coming!
One more thing! I just put up a one shot that is once more Remus/Tonks centric but the difference being that it is all fluff! So if you need some fluff, go there immediately! Feel free to leave me a review on that too :)