A/N: Do not get your hopes up, there's a reason for the question mark at the end of the headline.

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7. A moment of peace?

"The four elements welcome you to this world, Margaly, daughter of Arthur and Guinivere."

Morgause raised the chalice she held in both hands over her head. When the sunlight came through the stained glass window in the perfect moment to make the jewels sparkle, she smiled. Some God was with her today, that much was certain. "The spirit of water will give you purity of heart."

Margaly, lying before her on a sacred stone, watched the High Priestess with wide, fascinated eyes when the water in the chalice was slowly poured into a golden bowl with a bit of earth from the Isle of the Blessed in it.

Her parents, Morgana and most of the guests of the child's name giving ceremony were anxious to get it all over with, as the ritual had given cause for many a turbulent debate. Debates between all concerned and some people who much better had concerned themselves with their own affairs.

Oblivious of it all, the young Princess was having the time of her life. Margaly gurgled, laughed and whooped with joy until everybody smiled, even those who didn't want to.

"The spirit of earth will give you firmness of the heart" the Priestess intonated while she smeared a bit of the mud on the child's forehead before she held her hand over the flickering candle at her side. "The spirit of fire will give you courage of the heart." Guinivere winced when the child's little paw came a bit too close to the flame for her taste, but all went well.

A gentle kiss and blow on the child's face completed this part of the ritual. "The spirit of the free air will be the Great Mother's breath and blessing on you, to let your heart know freedom and joy through all your life."

Morgause now faced the assembly and fought for a solemn face, as the baby chose this exact moment to laugh again. "At least someone is enjoying herself thoroughly during my first official ceremony" the High Priestess thought.

"I call you, Margaly, into this world as a child of the Goddess, a sister to your fellow humans and a friend of the nature from which you come and to which you one day will return when the circle of life will be fulfilled."

A last time Morgause softly laid her hands on the little girl's chest. "You have a name now, which the Great Mother and all things living know to call you by. May you answer to every call in dignity and joy for as long as you live."

When her sister nodded, Morgana took the child and gave her back to her mother, who had been fretting to have her daughter back through the whole ceremony.

It was no secret that Guinivere presently wished herself, her husband and her daughter miles away from all quarrels that, due to Arthur's wise, conciliatory attitude and with the support of Morgana's well-placed, unmistakable and heartfelt threats, abated slowly. Much too slowly for Guinivere's taste and she was not the only one. Margaly's mother had the knights' full approval for her Cri de Coeur that she'd rather have the old days back, when a fight was decided by a sword, not by false words and hidden agendas. Her husband had, wisely again, abstained from commenting on that, at least in public.

Comforted by the fact that Margaly was safe and sound and hers again, Gwen found it in her to smile and invite everybody most graciously to eat and feast with the Court in honour of the Princess Margaly and her official entry in this world.

As the little girl's first birthday was close, it was perhaps a little late for that. But, better late than never, and, as Gwaine had aptly put it, it was always good to have a party with lots to eat and even more to drink to calm hostile spirits.

Arthur looked over the whole assembly and didn't trust his eyes. It was a surreal feeling, to see these squabblers of many months sitting peacefully side by side. Even Armand's and Erec's faces, both bitter as gall from the day they'd arrived, seemed to relax after a while.

"Don't look so pleased with yourself" Merlin whispered into the King's ear from behind. "Prat!"

"That's lèse Majesté and constitutes High Treason, don't you know that?"

"If a simple truth is treason in Camelot now, we might as well go back to the old days."

"What, with you in the stocks?"

"And with you never really coming out of the woods" the brazen warlock said equivocally.

Arthur snorted with laughter and covered his faux pas with a quick cough. "And now I am, even in your most critical opinion, out of the woods?"

"Seems like it. They're all stuffing their faces, no one has killed another so far and you've made it up with your wife. I must have grossly underrated you."

"Thank you, My Lord Emrys" Arthur made a courteous little bow.

"Your Majesty is most welcome" the warlock returned the mock courtesy and wanted to leave when Arthur stopped him.

"Merlin, apropos woods – my sister and you. Is it true what I hear?"

From the look on Arthur's face as well as from the mortifying heat in his cheeks Merlin knew that danger was all around him. "What…. What do you mean?"

"Algernon says you're laying waste to my finest forest grounds. The Goddess' curse would come upon you and what not. He's beside himself and I'm clueless as to what he's talking about."

"Forget it then" Merlin said awkwardly. "You're the King, can't you forget what you like?" Inwardly he cursed Algernon and his superstitious nonsense to the deepest hell. How could the Druid dare to molest Arthur with that, after Merlin had told him to forget about these stupid Destroyer legends?

"Merlin, he threatened to bring it up in the Council and I would not wish to publicly look like a fool."

"People are used to you looking the part."

Arthur frowned in the 'I'm–no-longer-amused-by-your-stupid-jokes' way the wizard had come to respect. This expression on, the King meant business. "Whatever it is you two are doing to the poor sweet bunnies and the robin's little ones, it has to stop, all right Merlin?"

"Yes, Your Majesty" the warlock surrendered most humbly. But naturally, this wasn't the end of it. A wizard with some sense of honour and self-regard could not leave the last word to the royal prat, now could he? "But what shall poor little me do if Her Majesty is not of Your Majesty's opinion? You both outrank me."

Arthur chuckled viciously. "From what she's told me, Morgana has made other plans anyway."

Suddenly Merlin's heart was in his mouth. He almost dropped the tankard he was holding, for this was so terribly, terribly painful.

He had always known that one day Morgana would find herself a suitable partner, some high ranking noble or a future High Master perhaps. But to actually live through it – that was a different kettle of fish. One that made him sick to death.

Hell, if that was how love made him feel, first with Freya, now with the Queen, he could do without, thank you very much. Then and there Merlin made a silent vow to uphold lifelong chastity. Not that he had had great opportunities so far to… Never mind!

Merlin would have liked to giggle about his own stupid thoughts but for once the trick that had helped him so very often through painful experiences didn't work. "I see" he said sadly and all he wanted to do was trotting to some quiet place and die.

"She wants to meet you in the forest, she's said, tomorrow night" Arthur replied quickly, as he saw Marke approaching.

"What? Who?"

"The cat's mother of course. Don't play daft, Merlin, my sister. Her Majesty the Queen."

Now Merlin was really confused. "But you said… What the hell for?"

Arthur sighed, his signature reaction in certain situations, saying 'heaven-give-me-patience-he's-an-idiot-but-he-can't-help-it'.

"You've led a very sheltered life, Merlin, I know that. But as you are a creature of magic, at least that's what Gaius tells me, I still say you're deranged, even you should know that we'll celebrate Beltane tomorrow."

"Beltane."

"Yes, Beltane. And with the rites of the Old Religion. Even in the forests. Especially in the forests. Doesn't that ring a bell with you?"

"No!"

Arthur had trouble suppressing his laughter. "You'll better be there or she'll come and drag you." The King sat up and smiled radiantly. "My Lord Duke, what a pleasure to see you."

Marke bowed and as he monopolized the King immediately Merlin was left alone with his thoughts. Furtively he looked at Morgana, but she was happily chatting away with Tristan, of all people, who looked a bit doubtful because of the honour.

"Well, that makes two of us" the wizard thought irritably. But the anger faded quickly and the hurt came back with a vengeance. "Maybe she wants to tell me herself that she no longer can meet me alone. That must be it. Well, that's something, isn't it?"

With what preciously meagre comfort he could draw from that, Merlin sneaked away from the feast and hid in his old quarters, in his old bed, under his old blanket to feel sheepish, idiotic and like cutting someone's throat at the same time. Preferably his own.

That was where and how Gaius found him. "What's wrong with you, are you mad? The King has people looking for you all over the place. He's so worried; he's biting everyone's head off."

"Serves him right" Merlin's muffled voice came from somewhere underneath the sheets. "Serves them all right."

"What are you talking about? The first peaceful, happy day in the Gods may know how many months and you must spoil it for Arthur? What were you thinking?"

"That's all you care about, isn't it?" Merlin shot out of his bed like a jack-in-the-box. A very angry Jack-in-the-box. "What Arthur wants and what Morgana wants and what anybody else wants. Who cares about what I want? Nobody. Oh, look, it's just stupid Merlin who's got his little heart broken. Never mind, he'll get over it, he always does."

"Merlin, what…."

"You know what, Gaius? They can all get lost as far as I'm concerned. I don't need them. I could have a better life anywhere else, if I wanted, everyday. Why should I stay? Nobody wants me, nobody appreciates me, they all laugh behind my back."

The healer for one forgot to laugh at the sight of the flushed face and the gleaming eyes. "My boy, please…."

"Now that I've done my bit, I can as well drown myself in the lake for all they care" the wizard raged on. "I bet they wouldn't even notice I'm gone."

"STOP IT, MERLIN!" Gaius took his refuge to sternness. "How dare you talk such nonsense?"

"Oh, great, you've found him" Gwaine said from the door in exactly the same moment, the worried expression that went so badly with his movable, usually merry features vanishing at the sight of the warlock. "We were worried about you, Merlin…."

"No you were not. It's just that the precious royalty has not got their way, that's all. And from now on they won't, I tell you, they won't. I will not go to the forest tomorrow and that's final!"

Gwaine looked helplessly at Gaius, who was, a rare problem for him, completely lost for words.

"Merlin, come, we go to the tavern, have a pint of ale and then you can tell me all about it…." Gwaine tried to brighten the situation but he stood no chance.

"Oh, leave me alone!"

The knight was almost pushed against the door when Merlin swept by him at top speed and vanished somewhere outside. "What the hell…?

"Must be lovelornness" Gaius sighed. "I've seen it coming. What a mad idea from the start, Merlin and…." He stopped himself.

"Merlin? In love? With whom? Why didn't he tell me?"

"Gwaine, leave it well enough alone. Sooner or later this had to go awry. Maybe it's for the best it happened now."

No matter what the knight tried, that was all he could get out of the old man and finally Gaius chucked him out with the strict order to tell Arthur that Merlin had taken to his bed with stomach ache.

Unfortunately, Gwaine had no chance to deliver his message to the rightful recipient, as he ran into the Queen first. "Where's Merlin?"

As always when being close to the Queen, even Gwaine suddenly remembered his once impeccable education and manners. "I couldn't say, You Majesty!"

"But if he's not with my brother, he's with you. You're almost inseparable. What happened?"

"He… he's got a stomach ache and has taken to his bed, My Lady."

"But he wasn't in his room, I checked it."

"Yes, he… Gaius thought it best to give him another room. A quieter one."

"So Merlin felt badly after he had spoken to my brother?"

"Yes, Your Grace. Exactly." Gaius would be proud of him, Gwaine thought. It wasn't easy to fool this woman and he had done so at the first push. "I was on my way to inform Arth…. His Majesty the King."

"Leave that to me!" Morgana ordered and the next instant saw her walking down the corridor with long, angry strides. The two guards at Arthur's door had no chance whatsoever to announce her, as she banged the door open and stormed inside. "What the hell have you said to Merlin, Arthur…?"

For the next thirty minutes or so the two seasoned soldiers were busy looking straight ahead, pretending that they were completely deaf. They were so very successful that they forgot to take cover when Her Majesty, still more than a bit aggravated, stormed out again, her brother's roaring laughter in her back doing nothing to calm her.

"What are you gawking at? Would you feel much better if you'd guard the cesspool for the next few weeks?"

"No, Your Grace, surely not."

"Then shut your mouths before I do it for you!"

And gone she was.

The two men looked at each other. "You know" the one said "I've always thought the boy is a bit of an innocent. Never understood none of me jokes, that wizard-fellow did."

"Will be some Beltane" the other replied laconically. "At least for young Merlin. She's hell bent on having her way."

"She's a handful, that's for sure" was the answer to that, spoken in a wistful tone. "But, hell, isn't the boy a lucky fellow. Gods, what a woman."

"Who, the Queen?"

"No, your grandmother you daffy. O'course I'm speaking of our Queen."

The other pondered that at great length. Finally he said "didn't you say you'd go to the forest with Bessy from the kitchen?"

"Yeah! Like you an' Geenie from the smithy."

"She's a nice one, our Bessy. Not very fresh, I reckon, but then she knows what's what. You better stick to her. I'll cut your guts open if you play foul with her! She's my cousin around some corners."

"Hush your mouth, idiot."

"Have you nothing better to do than idle gossiping?" Arthur's angry question startled the two and Bessy's cousin let his lance fall to the ground.

As a result, they both received stern instructions not to go anywhere near forest or girls for the next few weeks and that was that.

So much for peace and joy in Camelot.

Luckily for the two, Arthur thought better of it after a while.

For Bessy's and Geenie's sake; for the unexpected easiness and enthusiasm with which the people welcomed the comeback of the Old Religion's rites and most of all for a word that had touched Arthur to the quick, albeit positively. "Our Queen" the man had said. "Our Queen."

"You know what, sweetheart?" the King said to his wife. "We've come home at last."

"And it took Your Majesty almost six months to notice that?"

"No, not me. Some others. But now they have noticed it."

"Your Grace is speaking in riddles."

"Doesn't matter. All shall be well, isn't that something?"

"Yes, my love" Gwen said with heartfelt conviction. "Yes that is all I'll ever need."

As was his habit Arthur rubbed his nose at her neck and she sighed contentedly as suddenly a thought struck her. "What was Morgana talking about earlier? She seemed so angry."

"We aren't the only turtle-doves in Camelot."

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning that my Lady Sister has used me, the King of Camelot no less, as her postillon d'amour, and that the young man in question has got it all wrong."

Guinivere darted around. This wasn't funny. "Merlin? Morgana and Merlin? Are you kidding me?"

"Nope."

"But she can't….. you can't…. What will people say?"

"The same they're saying about us, my love. What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. I cannot deny my sister what I've granted myself when I married you. Besides, Morgana does as she pleases, with or without my permission."

"She's at least six years his senior!"

"That's for them to concern themselves about, is it not?" Carelessly, Arthur began nibbling her ear.

"What will the Christians say? They're frowning on you allowing the old Beltane rites back into Camelot as it is."

"They can frown all they like. They've got their churches and their feasts and our permission to do whatever they please, as long as nobody is forced or pressed into something he doesn't want. Morgause and Armand almost slaughtered me when I told them that this is the law now. In return, Marke and his bunch must tolerate that the Old Religion enjoys the same rights and there's an end to it."

Guinivere snuggled up to him and he thought that the discussion was over. However, that was not the case.

Although Guinivere was almost strangled by apprehension, she could not keep her worries to herself. This was about her kids and nothing, not even her fragile peace with her husband whom she loved with every fibre of her soul, could be more important than that.

"Arthur, if Morgana were to have a child, what would that mean?"

The King moaned impatiently and rolled away from her. "Well, it would be a girl or a boy, would it not?"

"No, seriously. Politically I mean. For the succession. You two are King and Queen in your own right respectively. It must mean something."

"What on earth are you talking about now?" Arthur growled angrily. "Damn it, you never were interested in titles or fortunes before, where does this greed come from?"

"It has nothing to do with greed!" To her own humiliating surprise, Gwen felt tears springing to her eyes. How could he dare suspecting her of trying to use her marriage for her own selfish gain? "I just think that…. if anyone ever said that our children aren't legitimate …nobody will ever doubt that her kids are your father's grandchildren….."

"To hell with it, is there no peace from you, woman!" Gwen winced when he darted upwards to face her, anger in full flight. "I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times, both Margaly and the one that's in your belly now are mine, always were and always will be. Nobody will ever doubt that."

Arthur saw her terrified face and forced himself to keep calm as best he could. She had been torturing herself with such thoughts from the day they had made it up with each other and he had no idea how to stop the torment she inflicted on herself. No idea but to give her the same assurances over and over again.

"Sweetheart, I love you. I will always love you. It was my fault. I had no right to drink that poison and leave you alone. But it's all over and forgotten, it's all in the past now. Please. You must get that into your head!"

"But Lancelot knows. Who says he will keep quiet about it?"

"Lance will leave us after the wedding. He stands to lose a lot should he spill the beans. If Erec knew… Besides, in spite of everything, Lance wouldn't get so very low."

"What about Merlin?"

Aghast, Arthur let go of her shoulders. "You can't be serious!"

"But Morgana's children, next in line to the throne, would be his children. Doesn't it even occur to you what that could mean? If the bastard of a sorcerer and the sister of the High Priestess would ascend to the throne, how long do you think Camelot would last?"

She stared at her husband, her face a bitter grimace. "The knights, armed but powerless against magic, the nobility the same, the Christians feeling threatened in their very existence, the Druids fearing for their children whilst the Isle rules unlimited, unrestrained, how long do you think Camelot would last?"

Arthur swallowed hard. He'd never looked at it that way. He was absolutely sure that these dangers were not real, that neither his sister nor his best and closest friend would ever do a thing like that. But how to put this in words strong enough to convince someone who didn't want to be convinced? "Morgana loves Margaly, darling. Surely you must see that. She adores our child."

"So far she hasn't got one of her own!"

"What difference would it make?"

"Heavens Arthur, it would make a world of difference. Your father thought Margaly is not your child, many people know that. And our second one may be Lance's child. I know the mess is my fault but I will not see the children suffer for it. What if somebody talks and my children are bastardized? If Morgana had a child, people had free choice!"

He kept silent for a while. As always the reminder of her betrayal hurt much more than he cared to admit. More than anything the thought that Lance must have something he lacked was mortifying. What he had said to Merlin in the forest still rang through his mind frequently "I'm not such a great catch after all." Bladt it, there were moments, when he was alone, in which he thought that he'd never be able to hold the child she would bear, let alone love the damn thing, as he had promised he would.

"What do you want?" he finally asked.

Gwen tried to control her voice. She took his hand, wishing nothing more than to show him that this was not about their marriage, not about Arthur and Guinivere, but about the children, only about them. "I want our second child to be christened, in a church, with Marke and Erec being godfathers. I want a new act of succession, vesting the right of succession in our kids alone. I want all the nobility to swear an oath that they will protect this act. And I want the regency rights for our second child's minority for me and my brother."

"Anything else?"

"No."

"You realize that the Queen would have to ratify that. Do you have any idea how much this scheme would hurt her? It stinks of the contempt and distrust you feel for her and all she stands for."

"You could always tell her it is for the good of the realm, for better balance between the religions."

"She will still know it to come from you."

"I'll have to live with that, won't I. She's hated me before. She tried to kill me. And you."

Arthur closed his eyes. No matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, he was caught in the past as if it was a swamp, sucking him down, inch by inch. In spite of the swamp's soil being putrid and vile, sometimes a bit of love, trust and hope may emerge but the old hatred Uther had once created would still prevail in the end, drowning it, crushing it.

One way or the other, the swamp would always win.

"You're making a mistake, Guinivere."

"I have made my mistake months ago. As you've made yours. We both have to cut our losses."

Softly he pulled his hand out of hers. "All right. If that is what you want, I'll talk to Morgana. It'll come to no good but I'll talk to her."

"Thanks, Arthur." Gwen looked at him hesitatingly. "Please, do not get me wrong" she tried to explain what could not be explained. "I love you very much, more than my own life. But this is important, please, you must see that."

"Uther's words" Arthur thought, a deadly, ice cold rage building up in him, all the more horrifying as it was absolutely calm. "I love you my son, more than my life. No matter what happens, nothing will ever change that." And then Branguard had come, and Devil's Claw and finally a traitor's punishment.

Arthur's hand went to his chest, to touch the burn mark there. Some love that had been. Worth a shit. But then, obviously some people were like that.

"Arthur, if you do not want that….." Gwen said, a diffuse feeling that the ground was shaking under her feet urging her. "Couldn't you ask Merlin if he'd like to go away for a while? Maybe he'd like to spend some time with the Druids or even on the Isle. He is a warlock; wouldn't he want to study magic more closely, be with his own kind so to speak…" she waited for an answer that didn't come.

She waited until she couldn't stand it anymore. "Wouldn't you rather do that?"

"You would like that, wouldn't you?" Arthur thought spontaneously. "My one and only true friend!" And suddenly, for the very first time since he had realized what and why it had happened between her and Lance, the sense of his own guilt gave way to a better sense of hers. If she, above all the sacrifices he had already made, demanded this of him, she was overstepping the mark.

Arthur inhaled deeply, knowing that this single word could very well destroy his marriage: "No!"

The peace between them, so vulnerable, so very depending on nourishment and support, was demolished in an instant and a very precious part of Guinivere died inside her. That was what she had expected of him, what she had feared. So he was like his father. She couldn't trust him with her kids, especially not with the one yet to be born.

Some words spoken, others left unsaid. Wrong, all of them, and it resulted in silence. They lay side by side for the rest of the night and felt the gap between them widen until it seemed capable of hosting an ocean full of very bitter, salty water. Just like the moisture on their faces when they turned their backs on each other.