Chapter 49: Recovery

"Please Nymphadora, eat," Sirius watched painfully from the doorway as Andromeda sat perched on the edge of the bed. In her hand, she held a bowl of porridge and a spoon that was offered at Tonks for about a half an hour now.

Sirius had tried to drag his baby cousin downstairs for some fresh air and a meal the day after he had found her on the floor in the guestroom and Remus was nowhere to be found. The whole day, he had perched by her side, whispering to her, coaxing her but she hardly glanced his way. Tonks did nothing but breathe. And Sirius could've sworn she only did that because she couldn't stop it.

By nightfall, when both of them had not eaten for the whole day, Sirius decided to floo Andromeda as a last resort.

Sirius found Andromeda in the living room, watching the television that Ted left behind. She looked pale but relieved when she saw Sirius. Sirius had left her alone after Ted's death only because Remus needed him and Andromeda had assured him that she would stay strong for Nymphadora. Sirius quickly explained the situation to Andromeda, which wasn't easy judging from the things he had to tell; namely, her daughter has been rescued and apparently pregnant. Things were happy till the father of the baby vanished and now Tonks was on the verge of depression, refusing to eat. Sirius didn't think it was possible for someone to look happy, confused, sad and furious at the same time but there was no other way to describe Andromeda's expression as she stepped into the house.

That night, Andromeda spoke to her daughter but to no avail. They fell asleep after Sirius ate the meal he had prepared for his baby cousin. Sirius woke the next morning to see Andromeda already ready to force feed her daughter some porridge.

"Nymphadora," Andromeda's voice took a turn for the strict approach; the tone of a mother, when coaxing failed. Nymphadora hardly responded. Her sullen grey eyes stared blankly up at the ceiling. Her hair was black, "the baby needs nutrition, now eat," Something flickered in Tonks' eyes but she blinked and resumed her blank stare up at the ceiling.

Sirius sighed, turning to head down the stairs. As he gazed at the mantle, he found himself staring at the photo taken at their wedding. With a glare, he placed the photo face down on the mantelpiece. He heard Andromeda descend the stairs and turned to see her dejected visage.

"It must've hit her hard if even the thought of the baby couldn't keep her going," Andromeda sighed, "what did he say to her, Sirius?"

Sirius scowled at the mention of Remus, "I wish I knew so I can punch Remus in the face,"

"We have to find him then," Andromeda nodded and said curtly, "where would he go?"

Sirius shook his head, sinking down into the couch with his face in his hands, "I don't know Andy, he has nowhere to go now. This is his home,"

"Not anymore," Andromeda snapped, "this is not his home the moment he walked out that door and left my daughter all by herself. He's not a husband to my daughter and not a father to that child,"

Sirius pursed his lips, "Remus, that fool…what is he thinking this time?"

His broken arm was still broken but it has been set properly by Sirius. His sprained ankle still stung when he put his weight on it. His broken ribs made breathing hurt. And yet, none of these pains could measure up to his bruised left cheek, where the woman he loved had stuck him. It was a slap he deserved, he knew, for daring to love her; the perfect her.

Yes, he loved his wife. How could he not? She's kind, beautiful, funny, brave, hardworking and loyal. She's perfect, the perfect woman to any man. He didn't deserve her but he claimed her his own after their wedding. That night was the best night in his entire life. He had shown her and given her all his love that night and he had felt her give him her love in return. It was beautiful. She was beautiful.

He remembered the feel of every inch of her silken skin under his lips. She had moaned for him, pressing herself closer to him as if he was perfect; him, a monster.

A harsh laugh escaped his cracked lips.

Even as he thought back now, everything was perfect. The memory of her lean body arching into his, her hands running over his skin and her lips moulding against his was absolutely perfect. But despite everything, there was now a stark reminder of how he had tainted her after that night. The thing in her, taking everything from her. It would be a beautiful thought if it were all her but he, rationally, knew that half of it would be him. Half of it would be a monster; it would be a monster.

At that thought, his hands trembled. He folded his arms against his chest and huddled closer to the brick wall, his legs folded closer.

His perfect Dora. He loved her so much that he was almost certain he had never loved anyone else in his life; if this was what love was. But his love ruined her and it killed him to admit it.

He stiffened as he heard shouts of men. He struggled to his feet, wincing at the pain in his leg. His wand was clutched in one hand as he pressed himself up against the wall of the alley. As they drew closer, he tapped the top of his head, disillusioning himself easily.

He held his breath as men in black robes stopped outside the alley. In their hands, they held wands. He watched as one turned to the other, "where did he go?" One man grunted.

"Forget it, we have other big fishes to catch," Another sighed.

"Filthy mudbloods," The last men spat and Remus froze. So it is true, they are capturing muggleborns. He had heard Sirius mentioning it but he was barely conscious at that time. In fact, with Dora's absence, he felt he had hardly lived those few months. Everytime he woke up, he would see her sitting by his side, pressing sweet kisses on his face but when he truly woke, she would be gone. Those dreams left him sobbing quietly till Sirius woke.

When Remus woke yesterday night, he was like he had life breathed back into him again. He could feel his heart beating, his body aching, his eyes seeing; the most beautiful thing in the world, in his world.

"Shacklebolt keeps covering for her," One of the men's voice cut through Remus' thoughts as his mind recognized the topic they were discussing, "I reckoned she bailed though, after marrying that half breed," His voice was laced with disgust, "I mean how disgusting can she get. Does she have a fetish for monsters or something? Maybe she like the thrill of danger, adrenaline?"

Another laughed, "A bird like her, metamorphagus, could get any man she wants. And she stuck herself to a half breed werewolf. I've seen her myself, unless she kept a morph all the time, she's a fine looking bird,"

"The werewolf capture unit will be knocking down her door anyhow, anytime soon at the rate they're going; thrown 5 more in just yesterday afternoon," The last one piped, "if they don't decide to jump on her for going AWOL before that,"

Remus stiffened. Without more talk, the men apparated away upon discussing where they should go for the next muggleborn. When they were gone, Remus pulled his hood closer around his face and ran.

Sirius had his arms crossed as he watched his baby cousin clutch her belly and walk shakily to the bathroom to relieve herself. As she reached the doorway to the bathroom, Sirius huffed, his heart breaking to watch her struggle. He marched across the room, one hand supporting her arm, another snaked around her waist to support her.

He felt her jump in shock in his arms and felt a pang of guilt for frightening her but it was overcasted by how his heart broke when he held her. Her arm was like a twig and he could feel her hip through her clothes when he supported her.

It has been a week. She ate after the third day, accepting a mouthful of porridge from her mother. Andromeda was pleased when Tonks finished the bowl, although listlessly. At dinner, Tonks ate as well but after the second mouthful, she threw up so magnificently Sirius was almost certain that she threw up her half-digested lunch as well. From that day on, she ate and sometimes kept it down but most of the time, threw them all up.

Andromeda resorted to giving her nutritional fluids that she had mixed herself, specially for her daughter, as fluids were said to be easier to keep down. Tonks had been cooperative enough, taking in all she was given but she had not spoken a single word since that day Sirius found her on the floor.

Sirius could feel her shaking like a leaf as he helped her into the bathroom. She paused in front of the toilet bowl purposefully, glancing at him, "be careful," Sirius muttered before retreating and closing the door to the bathroom. The moment he heard the toilet flush, he knocked, "are you done?" He counted to five before opening the door. Tonks was hunched over the sink, washing her hands, "my sweet baby cousin," Sirius took her shoulders in his hands, turning her to look at him, "please…talk to me,"

He winced as if he had been struck when her eyes met his. Her once sparkling grey eyes, full of life and mischief, were cold and dead. He helped her to bed, pulling the sheets over her body.

"Nymphie…" Sirius took her hand, cringing as he could feel every knuckle in her fingers too well, "fight, for this baby, you have to fight for your life. You're not having enough to drink or eat, you're not talking, you're not smiling. Sometimes, we worry if you're even alive!" he flinched when she stared forward as if he wasn't in the room. Normally, Sirius would sigh and leave the room, like how Andromeda would but not this time. Enough is enough.

Sirius gritted his teeth and stomped out of the room. He got down the stairs and snatched a picture off the mantelpiece before dashing back up the stairs and into the room. He shoved the photo in her face. It was a picture of Mad-Eye and her daughter.

"Look at this!" He growled, "will this man tell the daughter he love to give up when she could live? Is this what he taught you?" Sirius felt some hope swell as Tonks' unfocused gaze turn onto the photo, "Because, I know, when Moody taught you he wasn't just training you to be an Auror, to capture Dark Wizards or fight them. He would've trained you to be strong, a strong woman who would fight for her own life to her dying breath. And especially for the life for her child who depends on her,"

Her eyes flickered from Moody to Lyra. After a long moment, she turned to look at Sirius. It was the first time Sirius had looked at his baby cousin and recognize that Nymphadora Tonks was in there somewhere. He lowered the photo and sat down on the bed. He placed the photo at her bedside and gently drew her into his arms. She went, burying her face into his shoulder. He felt her arms tighten weakly around his torso and she nodded. Sirius pressed a kiss to the top of her head. He let her go and ran across the hall to Andy's room.

He knocked briefly before bursting in, "Andy?" The room was dimly lit but he could see the outline of Andromeda perched on the desk, her head in her hand. Andromeda looked up, "She wants something to eat. Real food," The smile that brightened up Andromeda's face was one Sirius had never seen on his cousin since the day Ted died. It was when Andromeda swept past Sirius, mumbling about cooking a sinful amount of food, did Sirius realise that Tonks wasn't the only mother who had not been truly living.

Remus huddled down after another round of patrol. It was getting colder. He pulled the robe tighter around himself and shivered. All the time, his eyes remained locked on the house and his wand clutched in his hand.

The windows were all firmly shut. The front garden was poorly managed. The sight of the house brought a pang to his heart, reminding him of the hope he had felt, the joy, when he revamped the house with one woman in mind. No one left the house since he came back and apart from Sirius and Andromeda, Remus never saw anyone else come to the windows; he never saw her.

Looking down at his collection of food, Remus picked a half-eaten bread from yesterday and ate, watching the house. The bread was hard and dry but Remus couldn't afford anymore with the sharply rising prices of food. He just hoped the house was well stocked and that no one in that house would have to take the risk to get more food.

As he ate, Remus found his gaze wandering to one particular window wistfully. The curtains were drawn in that window and everytime it fluttered, Remus' heart skipped a beat. What he would give to see her face one more time but he knew, in his heart, he had lost that right to stand before her when he tainted her and more so after he left that house.

He finished the last of the bread and stood up, feeling his knees pop. Making sure his wand was in his hand, he began his patrol on the outskirts of the house just outside the wards. Once in a while, he raised his wand and reinforced the wards again or performed some diagnostic spells for the condition of the wards.

She looked up. Sirius was smiling at her. Her mum was crying but smiling at the same time. She looked back down and shoved another fork of chicken into her mouth. She picked up the spoon and spooned some mashed potatoes into her mouth.

"Slowly, Nymphadora," Her mother said in that soft motherly tone as she stroked her hair.

Swallowing her mouthful of food, she was handed a glass of milk from Sirius. She took it and gulped the lot down. Her food was served on a levitating tray and for the first time in her life, Andromeda had not objected to letting her have dinner in bed. In fact, Andromeda had levitated the food into her lap herself.

When the plates were finally empty, Andromeda smiled, waving her wand and the tray levitated itself downstairs, "would you like something for dessert?"

Silence. She nodded.

Andromeda smiled, "good, I made your favourite dessert," With that, she swept out of the room, smiling at Sirius as she squeezed his shoulder.

Sirius, perched on the edge of her bed all the while, looked fondly at his baby cousin, "She's gonna stuff you, you know that right?"

She locked eyes with her cousin, noticing not for the first time that they had the same eyes. She allowed the tips of her lips to turn up into a semblance of a smile.

He patted her leg gently before getting up, "I'll go down to see if she needs any help," Sirius made it to the door before he heard a soft snort. He turned and grinned, "who am I kidding, right? I'll do you a favour and eat some," He winked and disappeared.

She looked at the empty space where her cousin was, absently caressing her pregnant belly. She reached over to her bedside and gazed down at the less marred face of her mentor. He smiled at her before glancing at his daughter lovingly.

Sirius was right. She owed everything she had to him.

He taught her to fight, to be strong and made her an Auror. Now, with the situation more dangerous than ever, those skills saved her life more than once. He saved her life as well. But more so, she wouldn't forget that he also made sure she had the love of her life; that she would be happy with someone responsible to be with her for the rest of her life. It was Mad-Eye who convinced him that he could love her, he could have her. In a way, Mad-Eye also assured her that he was dependable and trustworthy.

You said he wouldn't, but he hurt me…but I don't want you to hurt him. I want you to bring him back to me…what will I do without him? How will I live?

Tell me. Teach me.

"You promised you come back to me, always," Remus frowned. He opened his eyes to see his wife sprawled on top of him, her chin propped on his chest. Her beautiful lips were pouting, her eyes flashing with resentment, "don't you remember?"

Remus' brows knitted, "I do remember. That was the second promise I promised you. I gave you three promises, things I would do for you always." He reached out a hesitant hand to brush back her hair that fell over her eyes, "And I came back, Dora. I'm right here with you, watching over you," Dora nodded, still pouting as she placed her head on his chest, fisting his shirt. He smiled as he tilted her face up, "I also remember the first promise. To kiss you." He took her lips and she responded eagerly, moaning into his mouth. He couldn't refrain from letting loose a feral growl.

She gasped suddenly and broke the kiss. He made to object but she sat up and looked down. He followed her gaze and his eyes widened as he saw her pregnant belly, "ouch, why is he always interrupting us?"

Imagine that, me as a mum. Remus recalled her musing. Even as he looked at her now, heavily pregnant, he still wanted to tell her what he wanted to tell her then; It sounds perfect. You'll be the mum every child wants. And I'm the father no child would want to be related to.

"Our baby is kicking again, Remus," She placed both hands on her belly, "a lot," Remus frowned in worry, sitting up to comfort her but when he lifted his hands, they were paws. He froze in horror as Dora smiled at him. She reached out a hand and he felt her caress his snout gently. Then her face twisted in pain and she balked, falling to the floor, writhing. The wolf jumped back, startled.

There was a terrible sound of cracking of bones. Then he watched as Dora screamed, her belly ripping open. The wolf howled as it saw its cub scrambling out from the bloody mess that was its mother. The bloodied cub walked unsteadily to the wolf, whimpering. The wolf huffed, sniffing the cub's coat before licking at it to uncover light pink fur underneath. When the wolf looked up again, he stared at the bloodied and still mess that was its mate, staring at him with wide frozen eyes.

"No!" Remus sat up. For a moment, all he could hear was his own heavy breathing. It was dark. It took him another moment to remember that he was sleeping at the base of a tree, huddled up under his robes. He picked up his wand with shaking hands and struggled to stand. His back hurt and his legs were numb but he limped to the tree line so he could gaze at the house. The windows were all dark and the house was, "Dora…"

A/N: References: chapter 22 (for the promise and Tonks' mention about being a mother) and chapter 36 (for Mad-Eye convincing her that Remus is dependable). I apologise as this is just a filler of how Tonks and Remus are coping separately! I hope you enjoy this chapter nonetheless!

Much thanks to people who reviewed the last chapter, you guys are such an inspiration. Thanks goes to remusdora, Lupinesence, guest and wotcher98!

Don't forget to drop me a review for this chapter! It'll probably make the next chapter come much quicker ;) probably in the middle of this week, if not, next weekend!