Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. That belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Also, I do not own any references to movies, songs, or other media.

BPOV

The next couple weeks flew by ridiculously fast. I spent my days working at a place I loved, and with people I loved working with. The kids I worked with were some of the sweetest kids I've ever met. The majority of them were pretty well behaved, but like most kids, they had their days where they drove head first against the grain. I could honestly say that I was enjoying my job, it gave me what I had hoped to get after I graduate from college. It fulfilled me in every way possible, well, almost every way. Edward and I had been out a few times since the infamous gazebo session. I tried to bring up the subject of Mya and the rest of his kids but he just brushed them off. We were having dinner tonight though, and I wasn't going to let him avoid the subject this time.

I drove home from work anxious to meet up with Edward. We were going to some casual restaurant in Pike's Place, nothing fancy. Once I got to my apartment I set my purse and keys on the kitchen counter top, checked the messages on the machine, and poured myself a glass of wine. I still had a few hours before I had to get ready so I waltzed into my living room and turned on the TV. I flipped through channels and settled on the news because nothing else was on. Apparently there was some massive 4-car pile-up on the I-5, which was making traffic absolutely horrible. I always wondered what the families of those families felt when they saw their loved ones' car wrapped around a tree or smashed to pieces with other cars; I hoped I would never have to find out. I glanced at the clock and saw that I had 2 hours before I had to meet Edward but with the traffic I wasn't sure how long it would take me to get down there. Normally it's a 15-20 minute drive but with the traffic the newscasters were projecting it looked like it would take a hell of a lot longer than that. I decided that I was just going to get ready now and head out as soon as possible. If I was early then I would just wander around Pike's Place until it was time to meet Edward. I quickly changed out of my work attire into a pair of black skinny jeans, a loose white boyfriend shirt, my black tea coat and black leather boots. I threw my hair up into a ponytail, fixed my make-up, grabbed my purse and keys and let my apartment. The moment I pulled onto the entrance ramp to the freeway I groaned internally. Everyone was at a stand still and looking really irritated. By the time I actually got onto the freeway 30 minutes had passed. I looked at my watch and debated when I should tell Edward that I might be late. I still had a little over an hour before we were supposed to meet but if it took 30 minutes to get on the freeway I didn't know how long it would take to get to downtown. I sighed and decided I should send Edward a text just in case.

Hey traffic on the 5 is HORRIBLE. It took my 30 minutes to get on the freeway so I'm probably going to be late. I'm sorry –B His response was almost immediate.

Yea I saw the crash on the news. I would say we could reschedule but I really want to see you :/ -E

Well maybe the traffic will start to lighten up…I really want to see you too –B

I could head down your way…? The traffic going north doesn't seem as bad, if you don't mind of course-E

I thought about Edward's offer for a minute. I hadn't had a chance to go grocery shopping so I basically had no food in the apartment, but I guess we could always order take-out. My inner mind was rambling on and on all the while the traffic was still at a complete standstill. People had started turning their cars off so they wouldn't waster gas. I sighed and finally responded to Edward's text.

That would probably be best. However I have no food so we'll have to order take-out. Is that okay? -B

As long as I get to spend time with you I'm good with anything ;) –E

Winky face? What did the winky face mean? It finally occurred to me that this would be the first time Edward and I would actually be alone, like, alone alone. All of the other times we went out we were either at a restaurant or at his house, both of which didn't allow for much privacy. But at my apartment there would be no one, well, no one but Edward and I.

All right well I'm pulling off the freeway now so just head on over when you're ready.-B

Already on my way. –E

It took me another 45 minutes to inch my way to an exit ramp. Goddamn the traffic was bad. But I guess that's what you get for only having one main freeway. I finally got back to my apartment just in time to see Edward pull up.

"You just got home? I left as soon as you sent me the text about take-out, I thought you would have been home for a while" Edward said as he walked up to me and engulfed me in a hug. I lost myself for a second, or minute, fuck it it could have been hours but I didn't really notice. The only thing I noticed was how we molded to each other perfectly, like we were made to spend the rest of our lives embracing like this. Whoa Bella, rest of our lives? What the fuck? I was getting way to ahead of myself.

"I thought I would have been home earlier too but I took me forever to get off of the freeway. I guess that accident is pretty bad." I said, still lost in Edward's arms and delicious smell. He pulled back a little and gave me a crooked smile. I loved his smile, I could stare at it for hours, granted that wasn't possible but hey a girl could dream right?

I led Edward inside and pulled out my folder of take-out menus. After a long discussion over whether Japanese or Chinese food was better, we finally decided on Chinese because Edward wanted it and let's face it, who could deny his pouty face.

"You play dirty Edward Cullen," I said as I put the take-out menus away. I didn't feel him sneak up behind me until he whispered in my ear "Oh I could think of much dirtier things to play with" he ran his index finger along the line of my jaw and down my collarbone. I shivered involuntarily and Edward let out a dark chuckle in my ear before he stepped away and went back to the couch. Holy fuck me, was it possible to combust from too much sexual tension? I let out a shaky breath and went to sit on the couch with Edward. He had his arm casually draped over one side of the couch and the other in his lap. I sat down and leaned into him. He took his arm off of the couch and wrapped it around me while we both stared mindlessly at the movie playing on TV. I looked over and saw that Edward was staring at me with one of his 'I'm-trying-to-see-through-your-soul-stares'. It sucked the life out of me and I was barely getting out shallow breaths. He brought his hand that was sitting in his lap up to my face and gently brushed his fingers across my cheek. He leaned in and gently pressed his lips to mine. This kiss was different though; it wasn't one like the ones we had shared before. There was no built up sexual tension, well there was some obviously but it wasn't as intense as before, but I digress. His lips were caressing mine in a way that I had never experienced before; there was something besides unaltered lust behind this kiss, something that I couldn't quite figure out. I felt his tongue trace my bottom lip and eagerly opened my mouth to it. His tongue didn't battle mine for dominance, he let me explore his mouth with mine. His hands were now resting on my hips, drawing small circles with his fingers. My hands were entangled in his hair, per usual, and my fingers were massaging his scalp. I broke the kiss briefly for air and he made a trail of wet kisses down my neck. I brought my lips back to his and he effortlessly lifted me onto him so I was now straddling his lap. I could feel his not so little problem and it only made me that much wetter. I ground myself into him, trying to create the friction that I so desperately wanted. Edward let out a whispered "fuck" and ground his erection into me. By this point I wasn't sure if we were going to be able to stop if things got out of hand, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to. We continued to grind into each other until a sharp knock at the door brought us out of la la land. I practically jumped out of Edward's lap, startled by the loud noise. He chuckled a bit and ran his hand through his already messy hair. I quickly attempted to fix myself so I could answer the door seeing as Edward was incapable of dong so. I laughed as he tried to adjust himself but wasn't very successful.

"Think this is funny do you?" he asked as I walked to the door.

"I do actually", the guy standing at the door looked a little peeved that I had took so long to open the door. I rolled my eyes and handed him the money for our dinner and took the food. The second I closed the door Edward was on me, his tongue tracing my collarbone. I moaned and he pulled away. It took me a second to realize that he was teasing me, I narrowed my eyes at him while he laughed.

"Tease" I said.

"Oh so now I'm the tease? If I remember correctly you were the one to get up mid kiss to answer the damn door, leaving me high and dry"

"Haha I'm sorry the doorbell rang, excuse me for wanting to feed you" I replied playfully.

"Semantics"

"Semantics my ass"

"Whatever let's just eat, I'm starving"

"I'm sure you are," I muttered under my breath, laughing to myself. We fell into an easy routine after that. I set the table while he took out all of our food from the bags. We each took a little of the yummilicious (yes I did just make up the word yummilicious) Chinese food and began to chow down. The room was filled with a comfortable silence and I decided to broach the subject of Mya, it was either now or never.

"So how have things been with Mya?" Edward stiffened immediately at the sound of her name, which I found to be extremely odd.

"She's fine"

"Did you ever find out why she acted the way she did during dinner the first time I came over?"

"I took care of it"

"Not talking about it isn't taking care of it," I snapped. He looked up at me with an annoyed expression on his face.

"Last time I checked you don't have kids, so how would you know what is and is not 'taking care of it' ", he even used those damn air quotes when he said, "taking care of it". I gave him a pointed look and said "well considering I do have a degree in child development, yea I would say that I know what I'm taking about".

"Look I don't want to discuss this with you"

"Why not?"

"Because it's a moot point!"

"It's not a moot point when your DAUGHTER obviously has issues with you dating me, or anyone for that matter!"

"It's not your place to pass judgments on how I choose to raise MY children"

"I'm not passing judgment Edward, I'm just trying to understand why you keep brushing your children under the table instead of dealing with them."

"I don't brush them under the table! I take care of them, I feed them, they have a roof over their heads, what else do you want from me?"

"Parenting isn't just about providing for them financially, they need love too! THEY WANT YOU TO LOVE THEM, I want you to love them!"

"I'M SORRY! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY? I'M SORRY I'M SUCH A HORRIBLE FATHER WHO FUCKED UP HIS KIDS' LIVES BEYOND REPAIR! I'M SORRY I CAN'T BE THERE FOR THEM WHEN THEY NEED ME! I'M SORRY I CAN'T LOVE THEM LIKE I SHOULD BECAUSE THEY REMIND ME OF WHAT I LOST! AND I'M SORRY THAT I CAN'T 'TAKE CARE OF MYA' BECAUSE SHE REMINDS ME TOO MUCH OF MY DEAD WIFE!" Edward was fuming by this point. His face was a shade of red that I had seen only when I was working for him. This was the Edward I feared. We were in each other's faces and I backed away unintentionally, in fear. I didn't know how to respond to Edward's outburst so I just looked at him. He looked like he was in pain, like he was trying to hard not to let his monsters get to him. I slowly reached for his hand and gingerly led him to the couch. His face had returned to its normal shade but his face held its mask of terror. I rubbed small circles on his hand while he talked.

"Irina my wife, and I met when I moved to San Diego. We were at some bar where Emmett had gotten shitfaced and I was attempting to keep him in line. I was trying to figure out where to go because I couldn't take Emmett back to the base in the state he was in. Irina was tending bar that night and I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. We had talked briefly throughout the night and flirted casually back and forth. When it came to closing time Emmett was still hammered and I still had nowhere to take him. Irina offered to let us stay with her. I was shocked to stay the least but I figured it was better than staying in some park or on the beach. She led us back to her apartment where Emmett proceeded to pass out on her bed. I apologized profusely for Emmett taking her bed but she simply waved me off. We stayed up that night talking about everything and nothing. I learned that she was from a small town in Arizona and that she had an older sister Kate who was a doctor in Chicago. After that night we began seeing each other and I calmed down a bit, I guess you could say she tamed me. About a year into our relationship we started having problems. Irina wanted to move to Arizona to be closer to her parents but being the selfish bastard that I was I didn't want her to go. She told me that she was moving and that I could either support her decision or forget she ever existed. We broke up after that. I hit a really umm rough patch after we broke up. I was drinking heavily almost every night, and I don't think I was ever completely sober. She called me a few months later and told me that she was in town and that she needed to talk to me. I met up with her and she told me she was pregnant. At first I thought she was lying but when I looked at her I could see that 'glow' or some shit that people say pregnant women have. It did cross my mind that there was a possibility that the kid wasn't mine but I knew Irina and she wouldn't try to rope me into raising someone else's kid. I sobered up after that. I had bought a place for Irina and I to live in in Seattle, which was close to her parents who had just moved up there. I talked to my commanding officer and I was released from my duties in San Diego. 6 months after Irina reappeared Mya was born at Harborview Medical Center. The rest is history so to speak. Shortly after Mya came Tony. We thought we were done after that but Irina fell pregnant with Jaden and Gretchen a few years later. She died in a car crash when the twins were 18 months old. A drunk driver ran a red and crashed into her car head on. She was killed on impact."

By the end of Edward's story his voice sounded distant, robotic almost, like he was trying to detach himself from the situation so he wouldn't have to relive his painful memories. I on the other hand, was a complete mess. Tears stained my face and my heart ached for all that Edward and his kids had lost. They had been cheated of a mother and he had been cheated of a lifetime with his wife. I felt Edward's thumbs wipe away the numerous tears that had traveled down my cheeks and mentally scolded myself for crying. I was supposed to be comforting him, not the other way around. I looked up at him and my heart broke even further. His eyes were filled with pain and nothing else. He was still breathtakingly beautiful but his face was haunted with the shadows of his past. I pressed my hand against his cheek and he immediately titled his face towards it, closing his eyes in the process.

"It's okay to miss her Edward. There's nothing wrong with that. You lost someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. She's the mother of your amazing children, why wouldn't you miss her?"

"When she died I didn't really have time to grieve. I had to deal with funeral arrangements and family and how I was going to take care of my kids. You say I was cheated of a wife but they were cheated of a mother, which I think is a greater offense. I didn't know how to deal with it so I turned the house into a place without music, laugher, dancing, basically anything that reminded me of Irina. I used to love playing the piano, so did she. We used to play together to get the kids to sleep." Edward had that far off look on his face again, like he was living in another world, reliving the death of his wife and the aftermath of it all. You would think that I would be slightly jealous of Irina; Edward was still grieving over her. But how could I be jealous of someone who made Edward feel complete? Who made him feel alive and happy? She gave him the most beautiful children I've ever seen. She gave him happiness. I couldn't…I wasn't jealous of that.

"Is that why you don't want Mya playing the piano?" I asked softly, hoping that it wouldn't strike a chord and set him off.

"I would be lying if I said no. I tell her all the time that she can't focus her life on it and that's why she can't play but it's really because it hurts too much. She's the spitting image of her mother and watching her play is like seeing Irina play, it's like seeing a ghost. I know it's selfish of me, but it fucking hurts like hell to see her play. She has so much of her mother in her. When she was younger I used to think that she was just Irina's clone, Irina always got a laugh out of that. To this day Mya still shares many of Irina's mannerisms, it's a wonder whether I really had any part in making her, or if there's any part of me in her." Edward laughed at that. His eyes were warm now, I could see that while talking about Irina and his kids brought up dark memories, they also brought up good ones. We talked a few more minutes about Mya and Tony and the twins. I tried to, as gently as I could, bring up talking to Mya again about what happened at dinner and he agreed to talk to her. I was glad that he was finally starting to take charge of his relationship with his kids and not let it fall by the wayside. We held each other for a while, just caressing and sharing chaste kisses here and there. I turned on the news to check the traffic status and the wreck had been clear for some time so the freeway was now moving as a normal speed. Edward reluctantly got up, stating that he should probably get back. I walked him to his car and we stood there just holding each other for a few second before he broke the silence.

"Thank you" he whispered, "Thank you for dealing with my bullshit tonight"

"It's not bullshit Edward it's your life. And you don't have to thank me, I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you for sharing your story with me."

he simply hummed and leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. This kiss felt the same as the one earlier in the night. It was different, but in a good way. We finally pulled apart and Edward got in his car with promises to call me. I watched him drive away before I went back into my apartment. I sat down on the couch and it barely registered that the TV was still on. My mind was still trying to absorb everything that had happened. Our night had gone from nearly fucking each other senseless to yelling and almost ripping each other's throats out to Edward telling me about Irina and Mya and everything else he had been through. It was a rollercoaster of a night to say the least. I finally got up and turned off the TV and went to bed. I couldn't fall asleep though. Instead of my mind focusing on Edward and his family it was spinning with memories of the kiss we shared in my living room. It took me a while but I finally realized why that kiss was different from the others. That kiss meant more because there was an emotion other than lust attached to it. There was love.

A/N: First off, I AM SO SORRY this chapter is late. Life got a hold of me and before I knew it it was Friday. I hope you guys are happy with the chapter; I tried to make it a little juicer than the others because it's late.

QUESTION: Do you guys like it when I respond to your reviews or do you not really care? I feel bad not responding but I don't want to say the same thing on each review :S Let me know!