Chapter 5

"You're really messed up over this, aren't you?" Eric observed after hearing about the two encounters Serena had had with Blair.

Serena ran a hand through her long blonde hair, and nodded, "I just missed her so much when I was away. Now I'm back and I just want everything to go back to how it was. I wish I'd never left."

"But you had to, Serena, it really was for the best. You're doing so much better now. Maybe you just need to show her that. Fight for her. You know Blair, you know her better than anyone," her brother tried to reason, hating to see his sister so upset.

She bit her lip and gave him a troubled look. She hadn't told Eric what had happened with Blair before she left, or that she had gotten drunk and slept with Nate. She couldn't lie to Blair, and she knew that if she told her about sleeping with Nate, she'd never forgive her.

"Its not that easy.." she whispered, an ache growing deep in her stomach as she looked at the clock, seeing it was almost 8 o'clock.

"How can you be so sure?"

She gave her brother a weak smile, "Because, like you said, I know Blair… and I know its not going to go back to how it was."

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It had been nearly two hours and Blair had yet to return. The wait had given Nate time to think long and hard about how to deal with this situation. Despite being in love with Serena, he really did love Blair. And if he couldn't have Serena, he wasn't going to risk losing his girlfriend of 4 years. She was his best friend, really. He could always go to her to forget about the turmoil raging at home between his parents. She'd let him vent and always said the right things to make him feel better. Blair really wasn't as cold hearted as she seemed, though she was good at pretending to be. Nate realized he had a good thing going with Blair, which is why he made his way out of the building, set on catching a cab home.

That was until he saw Serena making her way towards the building.

He knew why she was here, and he couldn't let her do what she was about to do. He had to stop her somehow.

Then it came to him, and he ran up to Serena, surprising the distressed blonde.

"Nate? What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice betraying her fear. There was only one reason why he would be here.

He swallowed and looked at her seriously. "I told her."

"What?" Serena choked out, her heart pounding.

"I told her what happened between us that night…"

She shook her head in disbelief, "No you didn't. Tell me you didn't," she whispered, close to tears.

"I'm sorry, Serena, but I don't think you should go up there. Just forget about her and go home. You can't fix this," he said softly, half regretting lying to her about this, about breaking her heart. But she broke his, he reminded himself, trying to find some justification for his actions.

She bit her lip, looking towards the ground, trying not to break down crying, but the battle became increasingly hard with every second that passed. Forget about Blair? The thought alone made her insides ache horribly. How could she ever forget the love of her life? She couldn't, and she knew it. She wouldn't leave things like this.

She shook her head and wiped the few stray tears from her cheeks. "No. I'm going to go talk to her. I have to explain…" She started to walk towards the building again when Nate grabbed her arm, stopping her.

"That's really not a good idea," he pleaded, knowing she couldn't go up there, and also knowing Blair could arrive at any second.

"I don't care," Serena said, pulling her arm from his grasp. "She already hates me, so I don't think I can make it any worse."

"Serena, listen to me, okay? Its not worth the trouble. You'll just get hurt."

"Well, I hurt her, Nate. So as far as I'm concerned, she has more than a right to hurt me, too. But if there will ever be a chance of getting past this, or at least making things right, then I have to talk to her now."

Nate clenched his fist in frustration. "I can't let you do that."

Serena furrowed her eyebrows, deeply confused by Nate's behavior. "What's going on Nate? Why don't you want me to talk to her? What did you tell her?" All the possibilities of how Nate may have changed the story to save his own ass, came rushing into her head.

Nate knew his plan wasn't going to work. He should've remembered how stubborn Serena could be. He sighed, looking to the ground. "Nothing."

Serena looked at him, astonished. She was relieved Blair didn't know, but also angry that Nate would lie about such a thing. "I don't even know what to say to you," she said, disgusted at him.

"You cant tell her, Serena. I don't want to lose her." he replied, brokenly.

"You just said three hours ago that you were going to break up with her, and now all of a sudden you don't want to?" Serena still kept the disgust in her voice, her anger only rising. "You know what, Nate? She deserves better than you, I hope you realize that."

Nate cringed, still not making eye contact. "I know."

She stared at him silently for a few seconds, calculating her next move. She took out her cell phone and checked the time. 8:52 p.m.

"I have to go meet Blair." she said finally, "And I'm going to tell her. Everything. Its her choice if she stays with you or not, but if she does, you better not hurt her."

With that, she turned and headed inside the building, emotionally preparing herself for what was to come.