Chapter 6

As Blair exited her cab she could've sworn she'd seen Nate getting into one a few cars up, but didn't really think much of it. She was still pissed at him for hanging out with Serena.

Serena…

She looked at the time on her watch. 8:57 p.m.

Serena was usually never on time, so she took her time making her way into the building, wondering what tonight would bring. She kept thinking about what Spencer had told her about letting Serena know what she'd gone through after she left without warning. Just thinking about the pain she'd experienced caused a lump in her throat. Would Serena hurt her like that again? But the bigger question going through her mind was, Could she handle it?

The elevator doors opened and she stepped inside, feeling more nervous by the second. What would Serena say? What could she possibly say to justify her leaving and all the pain it caused? Blair was certain there was only one thing that might make it better. But even if Serena did say those words, it wouldn't erase the past year from her memory. Nothing would.

The doors slid open and Blair nearly gasped when she saw Serena standing in her foyer, like she belonged there. She used to, Blair thought in a moment of weakness. She quickly got rid of the thought and composed herself, stepping out into the foyer.

"How did you get in?" she asked, her tone neutral.

"Your mom was leaving as I was coming in. She let me up here, I hope that's okay…" Serena explained, feeling like her whole body was shaking. Blair walked past her and into the living room.

"Its fine," she said shortly, taking a seat on the couch and motioning for Serena to do the same.

The blonde approached cautiously, leaving a cushion in between her and Blair as she sat down.

"I don't know where to begin," Serena began, but Blair cut in.

"Lets start with why you're back." Blair didn't look at her as she said this, but kept her eyes on the coffee table while unconsciously twisting her ring around her finger. Serena smiled softly, remembering Blair's nervous habit, but then bit her lip, her face serious again.

"There are a few reasons why I came back, but the reason why I came back so suddenly is because…" she took a deep breath, composing herself. "Eric is at the Ostroff center."

Blair looked up at Serena, confused as to why her brother would be there. Serena saw the question in her eyes and continued. "He tried to kill himself."

"Jesus," Blair's eyes went wide. She had to fight the urge to pull Serena in for a hug, to reassure her that everything would be okay. She looked so fragile that Blair was finding it hard to not want to protect her or help her in some way. "Is he okay?"

Serena nodded, "He's doing fine now."

"That's good." Blair said softly, being careful with her words.

The blonde nodded again then continued, "I also came back because the reason I left in the first place was to pull myself together, you know? I was a mess when I left. And that's why I'm here. I need to tell you something. Something that happened the night that I…"

Serena trailed off, hoping Blair would give her a sign that she understood what she was talking about.

"The night that you kissed me?" Blair whispered softly, looking away again.

Serena swallowed the lump forming in her throat and answered, "Yea, the night I kissed you."

Blair looked back up at her. "What happened?"

The blonde looked back at her, tears in her eyes, "I-- I was so confused and messed up about what happened between us. I didn't know what it meant. I thought I had freaked you out, that you'd never want to speak to me again…" The tears were starting to fall now and Serena tried her best to control them. "I couldn't handle that, so I went out and I got drunk, as I usually did when things got rough back then."

"You didn't freak me out…" Blair said so quietly that Serena had nearly missed it, but she managed to hear every word.

"I didn't?" Serena asked, scared she'd misheard her.

Blair looked back at her and shook her head solemnly. "I kissed you back. You were the one who ran out of the house, remember?"

Serena nodded, ashamed of how she handled the situation. "I remember. I know I shouldn't have run. I just… I couldn't bare the thought of losing you because of that and I knew things could never be the same. But what scared me was that, I didn't want it to be the same. I wanted something more." Her voice shook as she finally admitted this all out loud.

Blair remained silent, staring at Serena with an unreadable expression, and the blonde stared right back at her, waiting for her to say something, anything.

"What are you saying?" Blair asked, her voice low and betraying her anticipation of Serena's next words.

"I'm saying that I realized I was in love with you, and I got scared." Serena said, finally gathering up the courage. "I was scared because I didn't know how to handle these feelings, and because I was such a disappointment to my mother that I wasn't even willing to think about what she'd do if I was possibly gay. And in the end, I was more afraid of you returning the feeling than not because I was afraid I would hurt you."

"And now?" Blair asked, her expression softer as a result of Serena's confession.

"And now what?" the blonde asked, understanding the question but still wanting Blair to clarify.

Serena watched as Blair started to twist her ring again, but this time keeping their eyes locked. "How do you feel now?"

Heart pounding incredibly fast, Serena thought she would faint. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes," Blair answered, her voice still soft and barely audible. She knew the pain that the answer to this question could cause, but she had to know.

Serena inhaled deeply, trying to settle her nerves. She hoped that Blair could get past this. That maybe they could be friends, until she told her about sleeping with Nate, of course, which was getting harder by the second. "I feel… the same."

Blair stared back at Serena, unsure of what to say, or how to react. Her mind was everywhere. All this time, thinking Serena didn't care about her and now Serena admits she's in love with her, it seemed so surreal.

"Really?" Blair asked, the whole thing was starting to feel like a dream, she had to ask again.

Serena nodded silently, looking down and taking Blair's reaction as a bad sign.

But nothing could've prepared her for what happened next. In less than a second, Blair was next to her, reaching a hand up to cup Serena's cheek and pull her lips to hers.

The second Blair's lips touched hers, Serena felt a rush of relief and practically euphoria, immediately kissing Blair back. She brushed her tongue across Blair's lips and the brunette opened her mouth without hesitation. It was unbelievable. Surely this was all a dream. But as Serena's tongue met Blair's, the brunette moaned and Serena knew it wasn't a dream because there is no way she could have imagined a sound so perfect.

Air became vital, unfortunately, and Serena pulled away only about an inch or so from Blair, whose eyes were still closed. When she finally opened them, Serena was staring back at her in awe and she gave her a soft smile.

"That was amazing," Serena whispered, still a little shocked that Blair had kissed her.

Blair bit her lip and nodded. "Does that mean you'll stay this time?"

"I'll stay as long as you want," Serena promised, brushing a few strands of hair out of Blair's face.

"Well, Eleanor will be home soon," Blair explained softly.

"Ah, I see." Serena said, "So should I be going?"

"Actually, I was thinking we could move this to my room?" The brunette stood, smirking, and offered her hand to Serena, who readily took it.