When Kim told her father she had plans to see Shane again, Shawn almost broke into an Irish jig. He was always fond of Shane and thought him a perfect match for his Kimmie; much better than that flashy Phillip fellow she had married. So when Shane stepped into the pub to pick Kim up, Shawn was immediately upon him with a big bear hug. "Shane, my boy, it's so good to see you."
Shane warmly returned the hug. He had always been considered an honorary Brady and having lost his own family, Shane prized the attention both Shawn and Caroline bestowed upon him. Next to losing Kim, Shane thought losing the Brady's as family was one of the most sorrowful things to happen to him.
"Kimberly's on the phone with that publisher of hers. She'll be just a minute. Can I get you a coffee?" Shawn was beaming but he didn't care. He'd been waiting a long time for this. Heck, he'd been waiting 15 years.
"No, I'm fine Shawn."
"So you and Kim are heading to your old house. Bet that will stir up some old memo—"
"Pop!" Kim stepped into the pub, eyeing Shane. He just grinned back at her, amused at Shawn's blatant matchmaking.
Kim grabbed her jacket and headed for the door with Shane following close behind. "I'll be back in time for dinner, Pop." Hearing this, Shane was disappointed for he had hoped to parlay their day together to include dinner. He had enjoyed last evening so much, he wasn't ready to relinquish one minute with Kim.
Other than remarking on the weather, the car ride was unusually quiet, as if Kim was intentionally not talking. Driving, Shane glanced out the corner of his eye to look at her. Kim was looking straight ahead but for an instant she glanced sideways and caught him staring at her. They both quickly looked away. "Damn," Shane said to himself. Last night had been all easy conversation and today, uncomfortable silence. What had changed, he wondered.
Kim kept looking straight ahead, intent on not meeting Shane's gaze again. She had tossed and turned in bed going over last night's dinner conversation and what had led her to be here with him once more. The dinner had been pleasant, Kim conceded, but she had been determined that it would be one evening only. Then he sprang this unanticipated house visit on her and here she was again, with him. She couldn't risk letting her guard down. "No siree, Shane Donovan," she said to herself, "I'll be more careful next time."
The car made the final turn into the gravel driveway and through the rows of sun-dappled red maple trees Kim caught sight of the house, her house. It was exactly as she remembered, with its stately columns and grand balustrade. "Oh Shane, it hasn't changed one bit," she exclaimed feeling her guard begin to slip away.
Shane pulled to a stop at the front of the house and hurried around to open Kim's door. "Come on. Let's check out the inside."
Stepping through the door, Kim was again struck by how little had changed. A few of the furnishings had been moved or replaced but, other than a thick layer of dust, everything appeared the same. "I can't believe you kept this place all these years."
"It was a good investment," Shane lied. How could he explain that he couldn't part with this house, the one she found and so lovingly furnished and decorated? Every room reminded him of Kim. "Most of the time, it's been rented. Just the last few months it's been vacant."
Shane stood in the foyer and watched as Kim walked through the main level of the house, allowing her hands to glide over the backs of chairs and across tables. Occasionally she paused to pick up some of the many treasured objects that decorated the rooms. She looked across the foyer and met Shane's gaze bearing down on her. Then her eyes fell upon the fireplace where they had made love so many times, and the staircase in the foyer where he had so often carried her to bed.
She was overwhelmed with emotion and would have bolted from the room if Shane had not interrupted, as if he sensed her discomfort, and suggested they head to the garden for lunch.
"I always loved this house," Kim said picking at her sandwich. Shane had laid a blanket down in a clearing by the garden and he and Kim were having their picnic surrounded by a spectacular array of flowers in vivid shades of pink and rose. Shane thought he really needed to commend his groundskeeper for a job well-done. But who to commend for the brilliant blue sky or the warm, gentle breeze? Somehow Shane knew that his world took on a whole new luster when Kim was in it.
"I especially loved it here at Christmas," Kim mused. "Do you remember that first Christmas you visited us in L.A?"
"I remember all my visits with you," he said wistfully.
Kim shyly cast her eyes down. "Well, this was Christmas and I was feeling really depressed because there was no snow, no chill in the air. I mean compared to Salem, it felt like a fake Christmas. Then you came with an entire miniature Christmas scene to build, complete with snowflakes. Do you remember?" she asked looking up. "You and Andrew worked on it for hours."
Shane nodded and looked at her intently. "I remember."
Christmas, 1996
The taxi followed a twisted road, rising higher and higher as it curved through the canyon drive. Shane looked out the window watching the Los Angeles skyline fade beneath a thick layer of smog. But ahead it was clear, with the mountains and canyons creating a welcoming view.
Shane was still not sure he had made the right decision in coming to L.A. for Christmas. When Kim had suggested it, Shane at first balked, certain she didn't need an ex-husband joining in the Collier family festivities. But Kim was insistent and soon Shane was agreeing to the visit. After all, he reasoned, he missed his children and really wanted to see them. As the weeks drew close, he reminded himself of that excuse over and over again. But who was he kidding? Shane missed her.
The taxi took a final turn up a long drive before coming to a stop in front of a contemporary-styled Beverly Hills mansion. It was large and impressive, rivaling even Donovan Manor in size. Shane stepped out of the taxi and paid the driver then reached back for his suitcase and a shopping bag overstuffed with brightly wrapped presents. Exhaling slowly, Shane walked up the stone path with apprehension. Reaching the massive double doors, Shane paused before grabbing the elaborate door knocker.
Almost immediately a prim-looking woman who Shane suspected was the housekeeper answered the door and led him into the living room. Shane looked around nervously, once again having second thoughts about coming. "Mrs. Collier is expecting you," the housekeeper said firmly, peering at him with a piercing gaze. Shane felt foolishly uncomfortable under her inspecting eye, certain she was looking him over as if comparing Kim's two husbands. "She's taking a call but will be here momentar –"
"Daddy!" There was a clatter of heels hitting marble floors as Jeannie streaked around the corner and ran into her father's arms. Shane lifted his daughter high into the air and twirled her around, then held her close to him in a tight hug. He felt a pang in his heart as he stroked her long silken blonde hair. "I've missed you so much Daddy."
Before Shane could answer, there was another voice. "We've all missed you." Shane felt his pulse start to race and slowly turned around to face her. There she stood smiling warmly at him. "Shane, it's so good to see you," Kim said holding her arms out to him.
Shane lowered Jeannie to the floor and in one stride reached Kim. Under the watchful eye of the housekeeper, he leaned in and softly placed a kiss on Kim's cheek. "It's good to see you, too"
Kim noticed the housekeeper staring. "Olivia, why don't you take Mr. Donovan's bags to the guest room." Shane was relieved to finally see Olivia and her disapproving glare depart. "There, now she'll have something to gossip about," Kim laughed, slipping her arm through Shane's and guiding him towards the patio. "Are you hungry? I thought we could have supper out here."
The term patio was an understatement as Kim and Shane stepped out onto a massive terraced garden. An Olympic-sized pool dominated the space with tennis courts set farther back. At the bottom of the steps, near the pool was a glass dining table and Shane was surprised to see it set for four. "Phillip's working late but Andrew will be home soon," Kim explained. Although Shane knew he didn't have any right to feel this way, he was grateful Phillip wouldn't be home for a while allowing him some time to spend alone with his family.
Kim reached for Shane's hand. "Come on, let me show you around the place."
When Andrew arrived home a little later, he and Shane worked on a miniature Christmas scene Shane had picked up in the Orient, taking a break only for dinner. So it wasn't surprising that Andrew was eager to continue working on it. "Dad, can't we work on it some more? Please?"
"Andrew," Kim admonished, "let your father be. I'm sure he's tired from his long flight." Shane had come straight to L.A. from an assignment in Thailand and although the flight was tiring, Shane truly felt rejuvenated being with his family.
"No, it's my turn," Jeannie whined. "Daddy said he'd watch the tape of my dance recital."
The two siblings started to bicker, forcing Kim to step in with a firm tone. "You two can stop arguing right now. It's late so both of you can head off to bed."
"I promise, tomorrow we'll finish the Christmas scene," Shane assured Andrew before turning to Jeannie, "and I'll definitely watch your dance recital, too." Kissing their father goodnight, Andrew and Jeannie trudged off with their heads bowed in defeat.
As the children disappeared around the corner, Phillip arrived, hurriedly rushing down the steps. He reached out to shake Shane's hand. "So how's the spy business, Shane."
Shane fought back a quick stab of jealousy as he watched Phillip lean down and kiss Kimberly. There was a moment of awkward silence before Shane answered, "Doing my best. The world's turning into a dangerous place."
Phillip stepped behind the patio bar and poured himself a drink. He gestured with the bottle towards Shane but Shane, waving his hand, declined. "Well, do tell us all about your adventures. Kim and I would love to hear about them." Shane couldn't help but notice that Phillip said Kim's name with a hint of sarcasm. It didn't take a spy to figure out that his presence here wasn't unanimously welcomed. Phillip's tone, along with Olivia's constant glare, led Shane to surmise that there had been much discussion about his visit, and not all of it was positive.
Shane cleared his voice and swallowed hard before starting to tell them about his latest venture in Thailand. Kim smiled in gratitude at him and only her reassuring gaze encouraged him to share some tales.
After feigning interest and polishing off his third drink, Phillip stood up and with an exaggerated yawn announced, "I really need to turn in. I've got to wake up early tomorrow." He turned to Kim to punctuate his point. "Especially if you want me home early for Christmas Eve."
Shane, too, stood up and Phillip turned his attention back to him. "It's been good seeing you, Shane, and we'll talk more tomorrow." Stepping away from the table, he looked pointedly at Kim. "Are you coming dear?"
"I thought I'd stay with our guest," Kim replied, "Until he's ready to turn in."
Phillip smiled at Kimberly. "I'm sure Shane wouldn't mind a few moments of solitude, right old boy?"
Noticing the tension and not wanting to be the cause of anymore, Shane immediately dismissed Kim's offer. "I have a few phone calls to make and emails to answer. Then I'll be heading off to bed soon, too. No reason to keep me company."
Kim bit her lip. "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
Kim hesitated a moment and then followed Phillip towards the terraced steps. She turned around for one fleeting glance back at Shane before Phillip slipped his arm possessively around her waist and lead her up the steps. Watching them disappear into the house, Shane wondered once again if the ache in his heart would ever fade away.
*************************************************
"Shane?" Through layers of daydreaming, Shane heard Kim's voice say his name. He shook away the images filling his mind and turned his attention back to Kim.
"I was just thinking." Then, as if knowing the mood needed lightening, Shane offered lightheartedly, "What I also remember is that was the visit you fixed me up."
"That's right, with the actress."
"Is that what she did?" Shane said mockingly. "Her name was some city or place. Bulgaria, Sicily or something like that."
"Barcelona," Kim corrected. "If you had played your cards right, you could be walking the red carpet in Cannes right now."
"I highly doubt Ms. Barcelona is anywhere near the red carpet."
They both broke out into laughter and Shane thought to himself how much he missed hearing Kim's laugh.
Changing the subject, Kim told Shane how her publisher called to postpone her book tour for several weeks. "It actually works out well. Gives me time to go home and be with Jeannie."
"Kim, I have an idea. I need to stay in Salem for this assignment. And your book tour has been postponed. Why don't you have Jeannie come to Salem and join you here?" He acted as though he just thought of this when in fact, Shane had thought of little else since first seeing Kim at the police station.
"I don't know," Kim hesitated.
"Kim, I really need to reconnect with Jeannie and it would be so much easier if you were around," he reasoned. "You and Jeannie can stay here in the house. I'll stay out in the guest house."
Kim sighed in defeat, realizing that once again she had let her guard down and actually walked right into this situation. "All right, I'll have Jeannie come to Salem for the rest of the summer."
As they drove away, Kim looked back at the house and wondered why in all matters concerning Shane Donovan she was so weak. Deep down, she knew the answer but wasn't ready to admit to it.