Okay, hoensty time. I'm not pleased with how this chapter. No matter how many times I played with it it just neer worked for me. All I've got it this, and I'm genuinely sorry. Next chapter should be so much better, hopwfully.

Truth: She was part of the reason he was dead.

When Neji was released from the hospital a few days later, he made arrangements with Sayuri as to when he would come over. They settled on a date, and at the appropriate time, Neji appeared on the doorstep.

He raised a hand and knocked. The door was opened by Miyako, who shuffled nervously when she saw him.

"Come in," she invited softly, opening the door wider and stepping aside to let him in. Neji stepped inside. "Neji's here," Miyako called as she shut the door.

"I know, I heard the door open," came a voice from the kitchen. Sayuri appeared and Neji raised an eyebrow. What had he expected, really? Obviously she wasn't in full shinobi gear, but he had expected more than, of all things, a pink, frilly apron on the scrappy girl who had bested him. She was drying her hands on a towel and, without her hitai-ate in sight, looking surprisingly domestic.

"Hi Neji," she greeted politely.

"Where's your guardian?" Neji asked stiffly. Sayuri raised an eyebrow in return.

"No polite greeting?" she smiled slightly, amused. "Alright then. Satoru stepped out to grab a few things he forgot the first time I sent him to the store. There's a reason I don't let that man do the shopping." She shook her head. "It's a miracle he survived before I came along. It's really hard to make herring soba without herring."

Neji was honestly surprised she was making it at all as she vanished back into the kitchen, shaking her head. His own family rarely made his favorite food, even on his birthday.

"You're welcome to sit," Miyako said softly from his side, pointing to the couch.

"I'd like to wash before we eat," Neji said, looking around awkwardly. "Where's the bathroom?"

"Down the hall to the left," Miyako directed before disappearing after Sayuri into the kitchen. Neji followed her directions and quickly washed his hands in the sink, feeling incredibly awkward. He didn't know Sayuri well at all, and here he was, about to have dinner with her and, seemingly, the closest thing to family she had. He'd just seen it as repayment for his injuries at first, now it was shaping up to be a horribly awkward evening.

Neji dried his hands and left the bathroom, venturing back down the hall. He paused outside of an open door and gave a cursory glance to the room inside. One of Sayuri's signature grey tunics was thrown over the bed carelessly, showing it was her room. Normally he wasn't one for snooping, but he was caught by the sight of an array of carved flowers resting on one windowsill.

He stepped inside and walked over curiously. They seemed like quite a girly thing for Sayuri to have. He raised a hand to pick up a carved daisy, wondering if there was any maker's mark that would identify it as perhaps some kind of collectible Sayuri was fond of.

"You shouldn't be in here."

Neji was surprised enough by the sudden, strong voice that he flinched and whirled around. To his shock, it was the soft-spoken Miyako standing in the doorway, narrowed eyes fixed on him and her hands planted sternly on her hips.

"This is Sayuri's room," Miyako said strictly. "And if you value your life, you won't ever touch those flowers."

Neji didn't take kindly to being threatened. "And what if I do?"

"Then I won't hold her back," Miyako warned. "They mean more to her than anything else. She won't even let me or Satoru touch them." Her eyes softened a bit as she looked at the flowers, resting on the window sill. The fading light painted them with pinks and oranges and golds. "She put them there so that they would be in sunlight as often as possible. She dusts them every day when she firsts gets up. It's the cleanest place in the house."

Neji watched Miyako in surprise as she drifted forwards, her head cocked as she examined the flowers.

"They belonged to Kimimaro," Miyako said, recalling the day when she had finally plucked up the courage to ask Sayuri about the flowers on her windowsill and she'd gotten the whole story. "Sayuri carved them for him. They're the only thing she has left of him. He was her best friend."

He was learning about Sayuri, but somehow he couldn't seem to care about that more than the fact that Miyako, in protecting her friend, had suddenly grown a backbone.

"A better friend than you?" he asked, testing how far her confidence would stretch.

"She'd leave me for him in a heartbeat," Miyako said surely, meeting his gaze, and Neji blinked in surprise. Where was this girl in the chunin exams, the one who could look him in the eye without flinching or whimpering, the one who looked like she could stand up for herself?

"I'm back!" called a male voice as the front door opened and shut.

"That will be Satoru," Miyako said, dipping her head and blushing slightly as the last bit of her confidence faded away. She started towards the door, Neji following. "We should go."

Dinner was eaten in an awkward silence and Neji was grateful to make his way back to the Hyuga compound where he knew precisely where he belonged and how to handle anyone he saw there. There were no dangerous intimate moments with girls in their friend's bedrooms there.

Sayuri and Miyako scheduled another hospital visit two weeks later. Choji was back to the hospital yet again with stomach complaints, and Lee still wasn't gone. They'd dropped in a few times to see him, but he was always resting when they arrived, so they just put their flowers in the vase with Sakura's and left. To top it all off, Naruto was in the hospital now.

"Really Choji?" Miyako asked, sounding mildly exasperated as she placed a dandelion on his bedside table. It was becoming tradition. She was on much better terms with the chubby boy after a few hospital visits and was starting to be able to talk to him like a normal person instead of being shy. "Again?"

"What can I say?" Choji said with a shrug. "Food's good. What's with the extra dandelions?" he asked, looking at the flowers Sayuri and Miyako were holding.

"We brought them for Naruto. We heard he got landed in here too," Sayuri explained, leaning casually by the doorframe and toying with Lee's nasturtium absently.

"Yeah," Choji nodded. "Shikamaru was by a minute ago with some goodies in a basket for me, but the nurses wouldn't let me eat it," he pouted. "I think he was taking it to Naruto. If you hurry, you could probably catch him."

"We haven't talked to him in a while," Sayuri mused.

"I think we'll do that," Miyako said. "See you Choji."

"See you."

They left the room, rounding the corner to Naruto's room. Sayuri paused at the door, hand an inch from the knob. Miyako watched as her back stiffened in curiosity.

"Sayuri, is everything okay?" she asked worriedly.

"Stay here," Sayuri said tensely.

"Wha-?" Miyako began, startled, but Sayuri turned to face her and grabbed her shoulders tightly, eyes intense.

"I'm serious, Miyako, wait here, please," she asked, cupping her cheeks. Miyako nodded dumbly, unsure as to what had caused the sudden shift in Sayuri's mood from mildly annoyed to looking downright paranoid.

"Okay," Miyako agreed.

"Thanks," Sayuri said, briefly touching her forehead to Miyako's before turning and darting down the hall, around the corner.

Sayuri hadn't noticed it at first. It began when she'd quickly scanned Naruto's room for chakra signatures to see if Shikamaru was there. He wasn't, and neither was Naruto. However, when she widened her search to try and see where they'd gotten too, she'd felt Lee a few doors down, but his room was nearing capacity. That's where Naruto and Shikamaru were, and Gaara was with them.

Sayuri threw the door open and burst inside. She found a very strange scene. Lee lay in bed, oblivious. A bandaged Naruto stood beside Shikamaru, who held Gaara in his Shadow Possession Justu. Gaara's eyes were on hers, she could feel it drilling into her, the now-familiar rustling sound of his sand emitting from Lee's bed.

"Sayuri!" Shikamaru exclaimed when she barged in.

"Sayuri?" Naruto said in confusion. She assumed the confusion was at the fact that she wasn't in ninja gear. Today her hitai-ate was worn like a headband and she wore tight black shorts and a loose, gray midriff.

"Now that we've all said it, what's going on?" she demanded irritably.

"Yeah!" Naruto snapped, fist clenching as he spun on Gaara. "You gonna tell us what you were trying to do?"

"I was going to kill him," Gaara replied casually, as if he'd just announced he was going to go take out the trash. Naruto, Shikamaru, and Sayuri gaped at him.

"Wh-What?" Naruto stammered in disbelief.

"What, you already beat him at the exams!" Shikamaru protested. "Isn't that enough for you? You have some kind of personal grudge against Lee?"

"It's nothing that complicated," Gaara said, eyes still narrow, bloodlust shining in them. "I just want to kill him, that's all."

"You're sick in the head!" Naruto shouted furiously. "You're crazy!"

"Yeah," Shikamaru agreed. "You think we're gonna stand here and let you do what you want? You sick, selfish, psycho!"

"There's no way we'll let you anywhere near Lee. He's one of us," Sayuri reminded him, eyes narrowing in distaste. What made him think he could just walk in here and murder Lee and there would be no consequences? "We defend our own!"

"If you get in my way, I'll kill you too," Gaara replied, remaining calm despite the rage burning in his eyes.

"Oh really?" Naruto roared. "Let's just see you try i-"

"Calm down, kid! Take it easy!" Shikamaru shouted. Naruto had already been cut off by Sayuri's hand placed firmly over his mouth, so Shikamaru turned back to Gaara. "We watched your match against Lee, and we know you're tough, but you know, Naruto, Sayuri, and I have a few tricks up our sleeves too. We held back during the competition. There are things you haven't seen yet."

"You didn't see my fight at all," Sayuri pointed out, recalling he'd left the arena after his fight with Lee. "You have no idea what I'm capable of."

"And on top of that, it's three on one," Shikamaru added. "Don't be a fool. Just take my advice and go. Quietly."

Gaara's eyes narrowed. "I'll say it once more. If you get in my way, I'll kill you."

Naruto jerked out of Sayuri's hands. "And I'll say it again, let's see you try it!"

"Back off!" Shikamaru snapped at him as Sayuri seized him again, a bit startled as he fought her. She didn't know Naruto had this kind of reckless bravery. Bloodlust rolled off of Gaara in waves. He wanted them dead, and more than that, he would enjoy the process of killing them, and that was one of the most unnerving realizations she'd ever had.

"This guy fights like a demon," Shikamaru continued, his voice tense with his fear.

"He can act like a demon if he wants, but you know what? I got the real thing inside of me!" Naruto said proudly, managing to jerk his chin away from Sayuri to spit out a comment.

"Hold him, Sayuri," Shikamaru barked. Sayuri ruthlessly put Naruto into a headlock.

"If it comes down to it, I will knock you out," she hissed in his ear warningly.

"A demon, huh? My demon is as real as yours is," Gaara said coldly. "From my birth my upbringing was not what most people would consider a happy one. To ensure that I became the strongest of shinobi, my father cast his jutsu on me, infusing my unborn self with a sand spirit. I destroyed the life of the woman who gave birth to me. I was born a monster. Its name is Shukaku and it's the living incarnation of an old monk who'd been sealed up in a jar of tea."

"Some kind of demonic jutsu," Shikamaru agreed. "But to use it on a baby? Before it's even born? Man that's creepy. Still though, I can't get over how great a dad this guy has," Shikamaru sneered. "He must have loved his son a lot."

"You speak of love?" Gaara asked dangerously. For the first time, a hint of his anger rolled through his voice as ominous as a roll of thunder. "Don't measure me by your standards. Love. Family. The only emotional ties I have to my family are the ones I like to wrap around their necks. They're ties of hate. Given life by the death of my mother, I was brought into being and treated as the salvation of the village. I was the Kazekage child. My father taught me the innermost secrets of the shinobi. He pampered and protect me, and left me to myself. For a time I thought that was love. And that was when everything started."

"When what started?" Shikamaru demanded.

"What is it?" Naruto said. "Are you gonna stop right there?"

"In the six years since I became six years old, my father tried to destroy me more times than I can count!" Gaara snarled, a wide, manic grin decorating his face. Sayuri couldn't see, but she could hear the tone of his voice. It was entirely too similar to what she recalled in the voices of the Kaguyas before a battle for her to be at all comfortable.

"You just finished saying your dad pampered you," Shikamaru snapped. "Which is it?"

Gaara's eyes narrowed in pleasure as his fingers curved into claws at his side. "Those who become too strong are apt to be feared. The jutsu that gave me birth had unbalanced something in my mind. Even the fools that lived in my village finally realized that I had… emotional problems. My father, the Kazekage, created me as his ultimate weapon, but I eventually became a threat to the very village I was meant to save. By the time I was six I became a figure of terror to the villagers. To them, I was a relic of the past that they wished would disappear.

"So you see I had failed the one reason for which I was given life. What then was left for me in the existence? Why go on living? For a long time I couldn't find an answer to that. But in order to live, you need a purpose. To exist with no purpose is the same as being dead."

"What is this guy talking about?" Shikamaru said, completely confused.

"Then after a long time the reason came to me," Gaara continued. "To put it simply, my reason for living is in the killing of others. For years I lived in fear of those who were sent to murder me. But now I am at piece. I killed many would-be assassins, and it was while I was doing it that the truth became clear to me. I exist only for myself, I love only myself. As it was the death of my mother that first gave m life, now it is the death of others that sustains me, makes me almost happy to be alive. And there's no end to it, as long as there are still people to kill in this great, wide, crowded world, I will never disappear."

Naruto was shaking and sweating in her grasp, and beside her, she sensed Shikamaru wasn't much better. Sayuri, meanwhile, could only fear mind-numbing pity for the boy in front of them as he explained his life. He'd been taught to trust no one, that everyone was a potential enemy. And how does one make sure a person isn't a threat? Take them out. If they attack you, make sure they don't get away to come back at you. It was one of the basic pieces of logic in a fight.

Some might find that a horrific way to live, something to be disgusted by. The problem was Sayuri understood it. When she first met Kimimaro, all he spoke of was getting free and killing the Kaguya who'd trapped him so they could never lock him away again. One of the main points of contention among them was that she refused to let him out of his cage, because it would mean her life. But as time went on and they became closer he became… softer, there was no other word for it. He saw that people could care about him and suddenly vengeance and blood wasn't so important anymore.

That's what Gaara needed more than anything. Someone to fill the hole inside him that no amount of spilled blood ever could. The fact that she understood that was all he needed, that she'd seen something so simple turn a vengeful beast into a caring man, made her not fear him, but pity him, and also hope for him, that one day he might find someone to fill that place. But until then…

The rustling of sand made Sayuri jerk. Shikamaru gasped and Naruto took a step back, inadvertently pressing close to her. Sayuri's arms dropped from his neck and she moved, stepping in front of Naruto and Shikamaru.

"I've met someone like you before," she said sharply. The sand paused its rustling, quivering in the air in anticipation. She took that as a good sign and kept going, hoping and praying that maybe her words could reach Gaara and save their lives. She could keep his sand from crushing her, but her bone membrane would do Naruto, Shikamaru, and Lee no good.

"His name was Kimimaro," Sayuri continued. "His family locked him away in a cell, in the dark, away from other people, for fear of what he could do. He too searched for a purpose and wondered why he was alive. He longed revenge if he ever got free. The only thing that kept him from losing his mind or claiming his own life was the little girl who brought him his food, who they called Nigate, weak. She spoke to him and told him about life outside in the light, and he came to understand that killing wasn't the way to live his life if he ever got free. The way to live his life was by living, just experiencing every moment to its fullest and enjoying the small things about being alive like the sun on his face."

Gaara listened to the girl speak. He wanted her blood even more with every word she spoke. Every disgustingly accurate thing she said about the boy named Kimimaro. He could care less about the girl who weakened such a great opponent. He would dearly love to fight this Kimimaro if he was real and it wasn't something she'd made up to try and justify her deductions about him. The thing in the back of his mind screamed threat! Threat! Kill her! Protect yourself! She knows too much!

Sayuri didn't finish her story. That the boy eventually was free. That his hatred of his captors had dulled so much that when they offered him a chance to be useful, he took it, and it led to his death. If he'd just killed them, killed them all, the moment they let him out of his cage, he would have lived. She had softened him so much that he walked into his death. That was the truth. She, Sayuri, was part of the reason he was dead.

And that killed her.

Sayuri realized that her plan had backfired badly when she heard the sand rustle towards her again, squeezing up her legs and calves. Immediately she felt the shift inside of her body as she created the bone membrane.

Gaara couldn't crush her, yet he was going for her. Why? Because her attempt at empathy and diffusing the tension had made him realize that she understood to some extent. On some level, that made her blood more appealing that someone else's. Understanding someone was the key to bringing them down. She was the biggest threat in the room.

"Alright, that's enough!" said a voice.

The sand fell away and Gai was in the doorway.

"The final competition is tomorrow," he continued. "You can fight each other then. You're just wasting it today. Is that what you want?"

Gaara clutched his head, face twisting. His sand began to recede, and Sayuri felt it brush against her ankles and the tops of her feet as it wiggled away from her.

Sand back in his gourd, Gaara turned and made for the door slowly, one hand still fisted in his auburn hair.

"All the same I will kill you," Gaara swore as he paused at the door, turning back. "Just you wait. I will kill you all. You will make me feel more alive than ever before."

Sayuri knew his eyes were on her when he said that. She was right in guessing he saw her as the biggest threat. To be honest, no disrespect to the others, she probably was. Her kekkei genkai was a perfect foil for the crushing pressure of his sand and her unique understanding gave her a glimpse of how he thought.

"I'll walk you out," Sayuri said, moving forwards.

"Kaguya," Gai began, but Sayuri cut him off by raising a hand, eyes narrowed.

"I don't care what you say. I don't trust him to walk past Miyako and not hurt her. She will not be injured because I allowed him near her." Her eyes flashed protectively as she spoke. Gai stepped aside in surprise as she moved in front of Gaara, through the door, and pointed down the hallway, a wordless order for him to walk.

Gaara's eyes were fixed on her intently as she walked next to him down the hall.

"I will have your blood," he swore to her.

Sayuri snorted and reached into her pocket, pulling out a knife. Not a true weapon, but a pocket knife like any civilian would carry. She took it with her everywhere she went in case she found some wood and the notion struck her to carve.

Sayuri carelessly prodded the tip of her finger with the point of the knife. A bead of blood rose to the surface and she offered her hand to Gaara.

"Take it. It means so much to you and very little to me. Go ahead. I don't care."

Gaara was…surprised. Never before had one of his anticipated victims freely offered him their blood. He wrung it from them, writhing and screaming and begging for their lives.

"I don't want it," Gaara rasped.

Sayuri arched an eyebrow at him mockingly. "Not in the mood anymore?"

"It means nothing to me if I haven't taken it from you myself."

"Sayu-"

Miyako cut herself off when she saw who was walking beside her friend. She stood silently as Sayuri moved to stand in front of her, positioning herself clearly between Miyako and Gaara as a defense.

"Walk," Sayuri said coolly. "And don't touch the people I've decided to protect, or in the future, I might have to join the ranks of those who've made an attempt on your life."

"Are you threatening me?" Gaara demanded, anger once again leaking into his voice.

"Cautioning you," she corrected. "Now go. You'll be fighting Sasuke tomorrow. You'll need your strength." She smiled slightly as Gaara turned from her and walked out of the hospital.

"What was that all about?" Miyako asked, voice shaking with fear.

"Gaara made an attempt on Lee's life. Naruto and Shikamaru tried to stop him. I… learned things about him." Sayuri cocked her head, staring after him thoughtfully. "He's… not so unfamiliar to me."

Miyako just looked at Sayuri. Her friend had been fully prepared to use herself as a human shield. In fact, she hadn't even acted like it was a big deal. She'd always known that Sayuri was protective, but she'd never seen it in action. It made her feel privileged to know that she was one of the ones Sayuri was willing to die to protect.

She just prayed it never had to happen.