The horses were whinnying in the stall and Shane looked at his watch once more. Jeannie was now forty minutes late and Shane's patience was wearing thin. He had arranged to have these horses available after asking Jeannie if she would like to go on an afternoon ride. She had initially hesitated and Shane knew it must have been Kim's prodding that caused Jeannie to call back and say horseback riding would be fine.

It had been a week since Jeannie arrived in Salem and in that time, she and Shane had barely exchanged a few words. Shane would ask about school or friends and Jeannie would politely respond with a word or two. When Kim mentioned that Jeannie liked to ride, Shane thought that would be a wonderful way for them to connect, that is if she showed.

As Shane looked at his watch again, Jeannie trudged into the stable. "Sorry I'm late. I was on the phone and forgot the time."

Shane looked up at Jeannie and for a moment thought he was looking back in time, to another stable and another reluctant rider. "That's okay. I had things to do here in the stable while I waited," Shane lied. "So choose your horse and let's get riding.

Jeannie chose the chestnut mare and expertly mounted it. Without waiting for Shane, she galloped out of the barn and down the trail. "This should be a good ride," Shane said to himself as he hurriedly mounted the other horse and raced after Jeannie, finally catching up with her at the first turn.

After thirty minutes, they slowed the pace and trotted along side each other. Taking a sideways glance at Jeannie, Shane was struck by how much her profile resembled his mother's and he found that family connection pleased him immensely. Jeannie was a natural beauty, too, not overly made-up like so many of the young girls he saw shopping at Salem Place. Kim had done a fine job raising both Jeannie and Andrew, and with very little help from him, as she had so clearly implied the other day. Sadly, Shane realized he couldn't deny there was some truth in what Kim had said. In so many ways, he had been an absent father, always letting the ISA get in the way. When would he ever learn, Shane wondered.

They rode in silence for quite a distance until Shane decided to take a chance at conversation. "You're quite an accomplished rider."

"Thank you," Jeannie responded without looking his way.

Shane cleared his throat and attempted once more to keep the conversation going. "You must have taken a lot of lessons."

"Phillip taught me. He liked to ride and I liked to ride with him," Jeannie said pointedly.

"Well, you're very good. He did a good job teaching you." Shane hoped he didn't sound jealous.

After riding in silence a while longer, Shane ventured to tell Jeannie about Kim's first horseback riding experience. "I took your mother horseback riding on our first date. She had never been on a horse before and certainly was not thrilled at the prospect of getting on one."

"She rides all the time," Jeannie corrected him. "She and Phillip used to ride a lot in the canyons by our house. She's a really good rider."

"I know she is now Jeannie."

Jeannie pulled up on the reigns bringing her horse to a stop and looked directly at Shane as if she wanted to make sure he didn't misunderstand what she was going to say. "Mom and Phillip went horseback riding together all the time. They would go hiking, too. She even got him to rollerblade. And Phillip supported all the fundraisers for her clinic. They did everything together. And he would do anything for her."

From her tone, Shane felt Jeannie was accusing him of something. "Jeannie, until now, I hadn't seen your mother in almost ten years. I did not come between her and Phillip."

Jeannie stared at him for a moment, then tapped the spurs and galloped back to the stable. She was glad Shane chose to keep his distance a few paces behind. All Jeannie could think about was the fight she overheard her mother and Phillip have ten years before. Maybe no one would admit it but Jeannie knew Shane was the real reason behind Kim and Phillip's divorce.

"How was your ride?" Kim asked as Jeannie and Shane walked up to the house.

"Fine," Jeannie mumbled.

"Go get ready for dinner then," she said as Jeannie went into the house and then turned to Shane, "I take it was not all happy trails."

"Hardly. But I did learn life with Phillip was pretty good."

"Oh Shane, I'm sorry. It's going to take time but she'll come around."

"Is that what it's going to take ... time?" Shane asked and Kim didn't think they were talking about Jeannie anymore. "Will time correct all the mistakes that were made?" He held her gaze a moment longer before changing the subject. "Well what should we do for dinner?"

Kim suddenly felt uncomfortable and dinner with Shane was the last thing she needed. "I just remembered Hope said something about Jeannie and me taking in a movie and dinner. You don't mind being on your own?"

"No, of course not." Shane hoped the smile on his face masked his disappointment. "I have a lot of work to do on this assignment anyway. You two go and have fun."

Shane sat at his computer taking notes on a report that he had already reread several times. His pen hung in mid-air as he tried to recall the last paragraph. He had been distracted all evening and had accomplished very little. Frustrated, he threw his pen down and let out a long breath. All night he couldn't stop thinking about Kim and how uncomfortable he had made her with that last comment of his.

But that was all he ever dwelled on. How much time would it take for Kimberly to forgive him, really forgive him?

This past week with Kim and Jeannie had been wonderful, despite Jeannie's aloofness. He enjoyed seeing them everyday, especially Kim. He would watch her walking in the garden or catch her having afternoon tea on the terrace. Occasionally Shane would join her and he would relish their talks; it was a warm reminder of what they use to share.

As long as the conversation was about Jeannie and Andrew, Kim was fine but as soon as they drifted into emotional territory like they did this afternoon, Kim would grow quiet or excuse herself, claiming something needed immediate attention.

Shane thought back to the other day, soon after Jeannie had arrived. He had joined Kim on her terrace for tea, anxious to share an email he had just received from Peachy. He leaned back in his chair, letting his mind wander back to that conversation.

"Dear Peachy, how is she Shane?" Kim inquired her voice full of sincerity.

"She's doing quite well, living in a retirement home outside of Manchester. I'm sure she has the entire staff doing cartwheels trying to keep her down." Looking directly at Kim, he added, "You know, she really loved you, Kim."

"And I loved her. But you know who she really cared about … her laddie," Kim said affectionately.

Nodding in agreement, Shane confessed, "I suppose she did." Then he added, "She always said you were the best for me."

Kim looked away at this comment, then said hurriedly, "Well, I better get moving on."

"You don't have to go, Kim."

"No, I really need to. I promised Marlena I'd consult on a case with her and I haven't even read the file," Kim explained, trying to sound matter-of-fact. "I really must go."

Who was he kidding? Kim was putting up walls between them and Shane knew why. He rubbed his temples and squeezed his eyes shut as he remembered their past and knew what he did was unforgivable.

At the time, he hadn't realized how hurt he was from her relationship with Cal Winters. Yes, she thought he was dead, but still he couldn't accept that she had turned to another man so soon. Then, when they thought she was pregnant with Cal's baby, Shane's hurt had turned to anger and he intentionally shut her out until Kim felt she had no choice but to leave.

Still that wasn't enough, Shane shuddered to himself as he remembered what happened next. He and Kayla became close and when Kim returned, he made it very clear that Kayla was the one he loved. He knew he was crushing Kim's heart, with her sister of all people. Although he wouldn't admit it then, the relationship with Kayla was his way of punishing Kim for her mistake with Cal. Shane put his face in his hands and shook at the memory.

Fortunately for Kayla, she realized Shane really didn't love her and they went their separate ways. By the time Kim returned to Salem once again, too much damage had been done to repair their relationship. Shane had hurt her, leaving scars he feared would never heal. She was with Phillip and Shane felt certain that Kim and the children were better off with Phillip than with him. He sadly accepted that his chance for a lifetime of happiness with Kim was gone.

Shane returned to Donovan Manor and his work with the ISA. He repeatedly passed on promotions, preferring fieldwork over a desk job. Even when he got older, Shane still pursued assignments better suited to men half his age. He knew the danger of being out in the field helped him forget his loneliness.

Shane found solace in the time he spent with Kim when he visited the children, even though seeing her with Phillip was excrutiatingly painful. But when she stopped those visits, he truly ached for her company. Over the years, he had other relationships but they would always soon end. Shane still loved Kim beyond measure and no one could fill the void left by her. She was always on his mind. He remembered the feel of her hair between his fingers, the scent of her shoulders as he kissed her, the softness of her skin when he touched her. Kimberly had captured his heart completely and her memory totally consumed him.

Shane went to the window and looked up at the main house. He could see the light on in the living room. It had been about an hour since he heard Kim drive home from what he suspected was a hastily planned outing. He desperately wanted to go and talk with her, if only to ask about the movie. But he knew Kim would not appreciate the intrusion. She was putting up walls and Shane didn't know how to prevent them.

When Andrew had told him about the divorce, Shane held out hope that Kim would call and maybe they could reconnect on some level. But the call never came and Shane realized his time with Kim had passed. What was the hardest to accept, Shane knew, was that he had no one to blame but himself.