Great Expectations - XXX
'That was a memorable day to me, for it made great changes in me.
But, it is the same with any life. Imagine one selected day struck out of it,
and think how different its course would have been'
- Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
Very little had changed in regards to the interior of the Summers' home yet Dawn found it rather more alarming than wonderful that every last knick knack had managed to survive the underworld. She paused in front of her mother's antique display cabinet and her gaze lingered on the photograph of a smiling Joyce with her girls. The snapshot had been taken when Dawn was no more than ten years old and the Summers' women had escaped for a weekend break to the beach. As always Hank was absent from the frame, but the subsequent pang that Dawn felt in her chest had little to do with this fact. She had made peace with her father's estrangement many years ago and there was no more consideration to be given to the matter in her mind. Giles had quickly become the closest thing to a father that Dawn possessed and the Watcher's guiding presence in her life was something she had now grown comfortable with.
Tenderly, Dawn reached out her hand and brushed her fingertips across the beautiful image of Joyce Summers' face, which was partially obscured by a cascade of honey blonde waves. Closing her eyes momentarily, Dawn attempted to conjure up the feel of her mother's gossamer curls brushing against her cheek as she stooped to kiss her goodnight. As memory failed her, Dawn released a sigh of frustration that went unnoticed by all. Dawn realised that she was thankful after all for the salvation of at least some of the things she had thought lost to her.
She flashed the photograph a watery smile, suddenly overcome by her very presence in the place she had long ago said her goodbyes to. Buffy chose that moment to shatter Dawn's quiet reflection by stomping into the sitting room with a rather flustered Giles in tow. Buffy stabbed her index finger in the direction of a very surprised Willow and continued on towards the kitchen without awarding Dawn so much as a glance.
"Willow, kitchen, now," Buffy barked, not even bothering to pause in order to survey the state of the inside of her home. Clearly the walls and ceiling were still in tact and this was all Buffy cared about for the moment. Dawn's brow furrowed as she watched her sister and her red-headed friend disappear into the kitchen, the door slamming closed behind them.
"What's the matter with Buffy?" Angel inquired, one thick dark eyebrow raised as he glanced in Giles' direction. Giles blanched and opened his mouth as though to speak. Quickly he closed it again and chose to instead purse his lips. For whatever reason, he had decided that silence was clearly the more favourable option.
"Ok," Angel said slowly, his bemusement shining through in his expression. "Is it anything we should be worried about?"
Giles merely shrugged as he replied, "Angel, when is it not something we should be worried about? Now if I have no further use here I think I shall go home. I seem to recall that I had a bottle of Charbay concealed in my liquor cabinet before the town imploded and I am rather eager to see if that too survived. Have a pleasant evening all."
Dawn sidled over towards the closed kitchen door and leaned casually against the frame. Xander and Angel appeared engrossed in reluctant conversation and hence for the moment had not noticed her move. Dawn was curious as to what had provoked that kind of reaction within her sister, who despite the rising of the Hellmouth had been on cloud nine ever since the moment she had returned with a human Angel. In fact, for the last month Buffy had been almost bearable to live with.
Dawn slid as close to the kitchen door as she dared and all but held her breath as she strained to hear the snippets of the decidedly irate conversation that was taking place within.
x-x-x
"How can you be pregnant?" Willow gasped, struggling to keep her voice to a minimum. She suspected strongly that someone, presumably Dawn, was listening on the other side of the door and the last thing they needed was for her to overhear Buffy's panicked ranting.
"Well I didn't think I'd have to explain that one to you, Willow," Buffy all but snarled as she rounded on her best friend, who blinked in surprise. Buffy sighed and shook her head, mentally counting to ten in an effort to reign in her temper.
"I'm sorry, Will," she breathed, "you don't deserve this. I'm just…"
"Scared?" Willow offered, her smile understanding and patient. Buffy nodded and it wasn't long before the tears had started to silently descend her cheeks.
"Was Giles sure?" Willow inquired, moving to wrap her arms around Buffy who was frantically scrubbing tear tracks from her face using her sleeve.
"Apparently there's a prophecy," Buffy mumbled, her voice breaking on the last syllable, "as there seems to be for every catastrophe that befalls my pathetic life."
"Buffy," Willow scolded gently, gathering her friend into her arms and laying her chin on the crown of Buffy's head as she rested her face against Willow's shoulder. "A baby isn't a catastrophe. It's amazing. Why would you even think something like that?"
"Oh I don't know," Buffy sighed, "could have been the whole 'end of days' section my walking pregnancy test kindly mentioned."
Willow's mouth dropped open slightly but she recovered her composure as quickly as it had fallen for the sake of her friend.
"Have you done a… well, a…" Willow stammered, seeming to struggle with the concept. Her cheeks reddened and she cleared her throat as she forced the conclusion of her sentence out. "A pregnancy… thing."
Buffy shook her head and pulled away from Willow's embrace, beginning to rectify the damage to her eyeliner that her tears had caused.
"No, I haven't had any symptoms or anything. I had no idea that vampires could even have children," Buffy replied, raking her hands through her hair and destroying the last semblances of order to her ponytail.
"Generally speaking, they don't," Willow said, shrugging helplessly as her mind failed to provide even a tenuous explanation for Buffy's predicament. "But from what you've said, this baby was conceived in Hell before Angel became human. Buff, you need to talk to Angel about this. Whatever happens, we'll all work this out together. I promise."
Buffy nodded, her expression glum and her bottom lip trembling helplessly as tears threatened to overwhelm her once more.
"This is such a mess. How can I be pregnant?"
x-x-x
From the other side of the kitchen doorway, Dawn's eyes grew impossible wide and her heart more than doubled its usual speed as her mind raced alongside it in an effort to take in the information she had just overheard.
Struggling to cage her own tears, Dawn abruptly fled from the sitting room, no longer caring that they had yet to investigate the upper half of the house for hidden nasties or imperfections. She ascended the stairs two at a time, her heels clacking against the polished wood noisily and no doubt alerting the others to her departure.
When she reached the familiarity of her bedroom, Dawn flung herself down on the bed and allowed sorrow to possess her. She buried her face in her pillow and found comfort in the familiar scent emanating from it, yet her sobs came thick and fast. Dawn struggled to breath between them. Sunnydale may have been restored to its former glory, but her world was well and truly crumbling around her.