Something Borrowed, Something Blue - XXXIX
'What difference does it make how much you have? What you do not
have amounts to much more' - Seneca
One month later…
The situation had become desperate and Spike had realised as much not a moment too soon. One evening little over a week ago, Spike had discovered Dawn snoring softly whilst slumped over a collection of text books that were spread out across the dining room table. After tucking her into bed for the night, Spike had set about returning the books to Dawn's bag when from the front pocket of which had dropped an item that would have surely stilled the beating heart of any mortal man. Spike had simply regarded the bridal magazine with suspicion before gingerly bending to pick it up between a thumb and forefinger in order to replace it. To his own surprise, Spike had managed to suppress the shudder and feelings of abject terror that he had expected would follow.
Spike had chosen to refrain from mentioning the discovery to Dawn but nonetheless had found it plaguing his conscious thoughts ever since. Oblivious to Spike's find, Dawn had continued on with life without so much as a subtle inference to marriage. However, Spike found that the more he dwelled upon the subject the easier it became to fathom the reasons behind Dawn being in possession of such an item. They were after all soon to bring a child into the world; an experience typically attributed with bonding couples closer together. Spike had found himself considering their albeit strange relationship in new lights, and it had not taken long for him to come to the rather natural assumption that marriage should perhaps be the next step for the couple. As a human, William had been somewhat of a traditionalist and, although as a vampire he had done his best to shed that persona, he was still nothing lacking of a gentleman at heart.
Thus, Spike had resolved to fulfil Dawn's wish to the best of his ability, and had set about planning his proposal with only one evident problem weighing on his mind. This being, his complete lack of money and means of acquiring it. The realisation had filled Spike with a sense of near insurmountable dread as he realised that, whilst being unable to grant Dawn the lavish wedding she deserved, he was also incapable of providing for a child. Dawn had mentioned in passing a small sum of money that Joyce had reserved for her college fund but the very suggestion had induced in Spike a stab of guilt comparable to a stake through the heart. Instead, Spike had resolved rather quickly to shoulder the burden of their apparently growing financial difficulties alone. However, with no employment prospects on the horizon or rainy-day fund squirreled away in his crypt, Spike was left with few options as to how to begin. It was not long before the more obvious avenue became the most appealing and likely means of which to procure the cash he desired.
Crime was not uncharacteristic to Spike's nature as a vampire, but the fact that he now possessed a soul served to limit his capabilities somewhat. The idea of injuring an innocent person in the pursuit of money had become abhorrent to Spike, but the thought of seeking employment as a demonic lackey was equally unappealing. After a few days of pause, Spike had decided upon his best route of opportunity; one that would secure the safety of the townspeople of Sunnydale by day whilst gratifying Spike's penchant for Grand Theft Auto by night.
After less than a week of light surveillance work at the Sunnydale car dealership, Spike had finally decided to make his move with the aid of a sorceress who had amounted an impressive debt with a demonic loan-shark. Under the necessary cover of darkness, Spike had managed to enter the compound undetected and escape with several cars on the tail of teleportation spell that could be deemed decidedly wonky. Nonetheless, after selling both cars to a Valkarash demon and parting company with the rather questionably dubbed sorceress, Spike had secured an impressive wad of cash to be added to his fund. It was with said money in his possession that Spike entered the Summers' home in decidedly higher spirits than was usual of late. Whistling in what he hoped could be described as jaunty manner, Spike breezed through the front door without the necessity for invitation and ascended the stairs two at a time to the upper level of the house. Angel merely grunted in greeting and arched an eyebrow from his position on the couch.
Rapping on the doorway of Dawn's bedroom, Spike waited patiently to receive a response from within before entering. As the door swung open in answer to her call, Dawn glanced up from her copy of the current English Lit. text, of which she was already three chapters behind the rest of the class. Her smile was almost instantaneous upon sight of Spike, who returned the gesture before crossing the room and seating himself at the foot of the bed that Dawn was reclined upon. Dawn closed the book hastily, secretly relieved for the interruption, and scooted over to the vampire. Stooping slightly, Spike planted a kiss on Dawn's forehead before settling back against the mound of pillows with Dawn nestled into the crook of his arm. Their sighs of contentment were almost comically simultaneous.
"How's your day then, love?" Spike inquired, beginning to run his fingertips across Dawn's forearm and grinning as the fine hairs stood erect in the wake of his touch. Dawn snorted contemptuously and arched an eyebrow.
"The usual; I wake, I barf, I pee, I go to school, I pee again, barf a little more, squeeze in some more peeing, lunch, and then my afternoon is fully dedicated to sleeping through the classes I am currently in danger of failing."
Dawn pouted slightly to which Spike could only chuckle in response. He ruffled her hair playfully, succeeding in extracting a minute smile, before commencing in scattering kisses across the crown of her head. The scent of her shampoo teased his nostrils and Spike found himself unconsciously taking a breath in order to enjoy the sensation further.
"It will get easier," he soothed, brushing a stray lock of hair aside as it tumbled across Dawn's face. The dubious expression seeping over her features at an alarming rate wiped the smile clean from Spike's face and instead replaced it with a troubled frown.
"There just seems like there's so much to worry about," Dawn replied, pausing in order to stifle a yawn with the palm of her hand. "My grades, Buffy and Angel, the baby…"
"Ah, well," Spike interrupted, his characteristically arrogant grin returning. "You don't need to worry about the baby anymore. I'm taking care of everything."
Dawn hesitated before pushing herself up on one elbow in order to regard Spike fully. His satisfied smile grew broader for one reason or another that inexplicably evoked a sense of unease within Dawn.
"What exactly do you mean?" Dawn asked, cocking her head to one side and glancing questioningly at the vampire.
"Well maybe not everything," Spike conceded, his self-assured smirk waning a little, "but at least now we don't have to worry about money and stuff."
"Spike…" Dawn began uncertainly, her eyes narrowing as they scanned Spike's face, "have you been gambling again? Because I…"
Spike leaned forwards and silenced Dawn with a kiss from which both parties drew reluctantly away from only a few seconds after it had commenced.
"Nope," Spike replied, his crystalline eyes gleaming in the lamplight with visible sparks of excitement, "much better than that. Just trust me Dawn, please. Everything the baby needs, everything you want…"
"Everything I want?" Dawn interjected, peering with startling intensity at Spike who shifted in discomfort under such scrutiny. "What do I want, Spike?"
Spike cleared his throat in a bid to buy himself extra time before an answer to Dawn's question would be forcibly obtained. Mentally, he was busy berating himself at having ruined the surprise and apparently angering Dawn in one fell swoop of stupidity.
"Well, I mean… you know…" Spike stuttered, his gaze dropping to the floor as he mumbled almost incoherently, "marriage and… stuff."
"Marriage?" Dawn gasped, her jaw dropping and eyes growing as wide as saucers. "Why would you think…?"
Dawn trailed off as a sudden wave of understanding washed over her. With a groan, she slumped back against the pillows and covered her face with the palms of both hands. Mistaking the gesture for one of embarrassment, Spike hastily pried Dawn's fingers from her reddening cheeks and gathered her hands into his own.
"I found the magazine in your stuff when I was clearing up," Spike explained, his expression now pensive and his tone earnest, "but I want you to know that… well, I get it… and I don't just get it… I mean, I want it… you…"
Spike groaned in frustration as he witnessed hours of careful planning obliterated by his own ineloquence. He gripped Dawn's hands tighter and hastily kissed her lips in a bid to extract from the gesture some much needed confidence.
Dawn remained silent and unblinking as Spike drew away from her, and the vampire continued in a rush before his nerves claimed the best of him once more.
"What I mean to say is… Dawn, I love you in a way that I thought was impossible. You make me feel things that I don't even have words to describe because in over one hundred years, I've never felt anything close to them before. You've given me everything and… well, you've been the first woman to have loved me like a man. Now I want to do this for you."
Dawn shook her head rapidly and Spike noted that a wealth of tears had formed in the corners of her eyes. Inspired and invigorated somewhat, Spike continued.
"Dawn, nothing would make me more honoured than if you would agree to be my wife."
Spike glanced expectantly at Dawn, his smile wide and encouraging although his hands trembled like those of a prisoner on death-row. A single tear began a course across Dawn's cheekbone and Spike reached out in order to brush it away with the pad of his thumb. However, with a deeply inhaled breath, Dawn chose that moment to break her silence and Spike was rendered statuesque by her single unexpected word of reply.
"No."
There was a moment of still, un-breathing silence before Spike allowed his hands to drop into his lap and he affixed Dawn with an uncertain stare.
"I'm sorry… what?" he demanded, his voice nothing more than a croak. Dawn sniffled and swiped at the moisture in her eyes with balled fists before once again repeating her answer in a tone that rang out with clarity.
"I said, no."
"Thought so," Spike replied with more than some difficulty. The vampire sat back on the bed, his eyes almost boring a hole into the bedspread as he struggled to reach a state of comprehension.
"I'm sorry, Spike," Dawn said in a breathy rush as she seized Spike's cold hands in her own. "I know how what you saw must have looked but… well, I'm only seventeen and pretty soon I'm going to have to deal with motherhood on top of the rest of my crazy life and, well… marriage is just too much."
Spike nodded mutely, barely noticing as Dawn laid her palm against his cheekbone and stroked her thumb across the deeply defined line of his jaw.
"I don't want to get married right now, Spike," Dawn said softly, gnawing on her bottom lip as she recognised the expression of pain etched in Spike's features, "maybe some day in the future but right now, isn't just loving me enough?"
Slowly and after several seconds more of heavy silence, Spike began to nod.
"It is."
Dawn breathed a sigh of evident relief and flashed Spike a smile that wavered in threat of a further outpouring of guilty tears. With some difficulty, Spike forced his own lips into a responding smile.
"I just thought that… well… the magazine…" Spike said somewhat apologetically. Dawn's cheeks flushed at the mention of the article that had been the cause of such trouble and embarrassment.
"It's for a school project," Dawn offered, averting her gaze to her cuticles in a deliberate pantomime of examining them. Spike nodded and once again the uncomfortable silence descended around them before Dawn cleared her throat and began to speak.
"What exactly did you mean before when you said you were taking care of everything?" Dawn probed, her interest suddenly spiked as she recalled the vampire's words.
"I've just come into a bit of money is all," Spike replied after a beat, choosing his words carefully. Dawn narrowed her eyes and regarded Spike intently.
"Come into money?" she repeated, her tone disbelieving, "how does a vampire come into money? It's not like you've got any rich old relatives to conveniently croak, Spike."
Spike winced and forced a charming smile in the hopes of swaying Dawn's mood in his favour. Dawn merely planted her hands on her hips and continued to glare pointedly, her foot tapping against the bedroom floor as she waited. With an internal groan, Spike dug one hand into the pocket of his leather duster and withdrew the slightly dirty wad of cash concealed within. Dawn gasped and for the second time that evening her mouth dropped open in a tiny 'o' of surprise.
"Where did you get so much money from?" she demanded, her lips pressing into a thin line of discontent.
"I just sold some stuff to a demon I know," Spike answered, his tone quivering a little too defensively for Dawn's liking.
"What stuff?" she demanded, each syllable she spoke heavily punctuated by her anger.
"Cars…" Spike murmured, his countenance now strongly resembling that of a sulky child as he hung his head and peered down at the toes of his boots. The corners of his mouth turned downwards into a grimace as Dawn balled her hands into fists and snarled furiously.
"You've been stealing cars?" she hissed, visibly struggling to reign in her own temper. Her entire body trembled with the effort and her eyes blazed with a fire unlike any other Spike had ever seen before. For a moment, he was speechless, but he recovered quickly as Dawn delivered a harsh punch to his shoulder blade.
"Not stealing…" Spike said defensively, rubbing at the mildly sore spot that Dawn's blow had created, "borrowing…"
"Oh gee, so I guess you had permission then," Dawn snapped tartly, rolling her eyes at the ludicrous statement.
"I'll pay them back… someday…" Spike attempted to placate her as he jammed the wedge of cash back into his pocket.
"What the hell made you think that I would have wanted this?" Dawn demanded, stabbing the tip of her index finger into Spike's chest.
"I did it for us and for the baby," Spike replied quietly, "I didn't want you to have to worry about money and stuff. I wanted our kid to have everything… and I didn't know how else to do it."
"Try getting a job, Spike," Dawn retorted, her nose wrinkling in disgust. "It's what most people do when they need money."
Spike tutted in annoyance as he barked, "I'm the un-dead love. My employment prospects are fairly limited."
"I cannot believe that you thought I would find this acceptable. Me and my baby will have nothing to do with your dirty money," Dawn seethed. She crossed her arms over her chest and regarded Spike expectantly.
"Well that's all bloody well and good," Spike snapped, his irritation shining clearly through his composure as the argument grew more heated, "but where the hell do you expect us to find the money to support a kid?"
Dawn's eyes narrowed to murderous slits and, barely an instant after the words had left Spike's lips, she had jumped off the bed and crossed the room in three strides. Flinging open her underwear drawer, Dawn reached her hand inside and pulled a stack of hundred dollar bills from underneath the neat rows of socks and panties. Spike stared aghast at the banded cash as Dawn tossed it across the room and he plucked it from midair.
"Where…" Spike began, his confusion evident in his expression as he peered quizzically at Dawn.
"My Dad," Dawn replied curtly, glancing quickly away from Spike as her bottom lip began to tremble. Spike stood up and within an instant was standing before his lover in order to gather her into his arms.
"I didn't think you wanted that… guy… in your life anymore," Spike said gently, drawing away from Dawn and holding her at arms length in order to meet her teary gaze. She sniffed and shook her head, simultaneously shrugging in a clear display of her own confusion regarding the matter. As far as Spike was aware, the last time Dawn and Hank Summers had made contact with each other was following Joyce's death several years ago. His subsequent lack of concern for the welfare of his daughters following such a monumental event had finally soured what little good feeling there was left within the family.
"Turns out he doesn't want me in his life anymore either," Dawn answered, her voice a pained whisper. "I called him a few weeks ago. He's ashamed of me and the baby. He sent me some money… for my future… and he… well, he made it clear that I wasn't to contact him again. He doesn't even know about Buffy."
Spike sighed heavily and pulled Dawn into the comfort of his chest, rubbing soothing circles across her back with the palm of his hand.
"You'll always have me, love," he whispered, brushing his lips against Dawn's earlobe as he spoke. Dawn smiled despite herself and drew away from Spike's embrace with evident reluctance.
"The money… promise me you won't…" Dawn began. She was suddenly silenced by Spike's finger pressed gently against her lips.
"I promise you that I won't do it again… and I'll return the money," Spike said, bowing his head slightly in a gesture of placation, "it was stupid of me and I'm sorry."
Dawn nodded and wasted little time in replacing her head against Spike's shoulder.
"We'll work it out," Dawn murmured, closing her eyes and breathing deeply, the scent of the evening air filling her nostrils as it radiated from Spike's clothing. "With the money from my d-… Hank… we'll be ok for a while… until something else comes along."
Wordlessly, Spike simply nodded with the seed of a new plan already beginning to take root in his mind.
x-x-x
Willy swept the broom across the tiled floor laboriously until every last cigarette butt and stray demon scale had been collected into a neat pile in the centre of the bar. The flickering light overhead did little to aid Willy in his task but he worked tirelessly nevertheless. Willy took a kind of pride in his establishment that was unusual among the seedy underbelly of the demonic world; it was his personal mantra that at Willy's his patrons should find the finest selection of liqueurs in Sunnydale with a bar so pristine they could eat their entrails off it.
Willy barely glanced up from his work as he heard the soft swish of the main door swinging open followed by a set of light footsteps resonating against the linoleum.
"We're closed," Willy said curtly, resting the broom against the bar as he reached down to retrieve the dustpan.
The visitor failed to respond, lingering on the edge of a shaft of light so that their features were thrown into the obscurity of darkness. Willy carried on unperturbed and simply stabbed his finger in the direction of the 'closed' sign that hung nearby in the window.
"Oh come on Willy, don't be like that," Spike purred as he stepped from the shadows, allowing his features to be bathed in eerie illumination. Willy straightened up somewhat stiffly and regarded Spike with a tense smile.
"Spike, long time no see," Willy stammered, his grip tightening unconsciously on the handle of the dustpan. With a nervous chuckle, Willy scooted closer to the bar and towards relative safety should Spike decide to lunge. Willy was fully accustomed to being accosted by the Slayer's people and subsequently beaten to a bloodied pulp in the pursuit of information, yet still it was a pastime he did not relish.
"What brings you to this fine establishment?" Willy inquired, his cheery tone painfully forced, "and coincidentally, when I said we were closed, should there be anything you require then…"
"Shut up, Willy," Spike commanded, taking a slow step towards the barman, who recoiled as though he had been slapped.
"Shutting," Willy squeaked, beads of perspiration beginning to form on his brow, which he dabbed at with a soiled bar napkin.
"I need a favour," Spike said, continuing to walk towards Willy purposefully in a manner that did little to alleviate the man's fears for his safety.
"Look, Spike," Willy stuttered, holding his hands out before him in pleading. "I got nada. Nothing. Zip. The underworld's gone real quiet since Sunnydale…"
"I don't want information," Spike replied coldly, drawing to a halt so close in front of Willy that the toes of their boots met. Willy swallowed hard and closed his eyes.
"Please Spike, take anything just…"
Spike blinked in surprise and shook his head, laughing softly at the terrified expression worn on Willy's face.
"I'm not going to take anything," Spike soothed after a pause. He smiled broadly and clapped his hand on Willy's shoulder in an almost friendly capacity. Both his expression and tone were equally bright as the vampire continued with enthusiasm, "You and me, Willy… we're going to be partners."