Chapter VIII

Gabrielle's days became a blur of unvaried monotony; rise before dawn, eat, pack lunch, go to work, come home, sleep, and then rise to do it all over again. Her body gradually got used to the new routine and she found she wasn't quite as tired as she was when she first began, although a nearly seventy-hour work week was vastly different than what she was used to as a governess. She had no days off, and was too tired to write or really even socialize when she came home. She barely even saw Enjolras, though they occupied the same space.

As the days wore on, her spirits sunk lower and lower. She missed her brother, she missed her old job, and she missed herself, the girl she used to be. She missed her writing, the feeling of creativity that used to flow through her and empty itself onto the blank page. She still had the desire to write, but not the urge or energy that used to overcome her at all hours of the day or night, sometimes even keeping her awake until she could get the right words out and give them a life of their own. They were all stifled inside of her now, and she didn't think they would ever be able to break free again. She tried not to wallow in all of the things that were wrong, however, and just kept going, putting one foot in front of the other. If she saved a little bit of money, perhaps she wouldn't always have to work so hard. Perhaps she could even find another job.

As she was leaving the house with the sun one morning, she ran into both Enjolras and Marius stumbling in.

"Good morning," Enjolras mumbled as they passed in the hall. "Are you really leaving for work this early?"

Gabrielle raised her eyebrows and replied, "And are you really just getting home? What in the world have you been doing all night?"

Marius looked surprised to see her. "We have been working...exams are approaching." He opened his mouth as if to ask another question, but closed it and looked at Enjolras incredulously.

"Have a good day, Gabrielle, I will see you this evening." Enjolras entered the apartment and Marius followed, tossing Gabrielle a goodbye over his shoulder.

Gabrielle continued down the stairs and out into the morning, already ready for the day to be over.

Marius waited until they were inside to exclaim, "She is living with you?! Are you involved with her?" Marius looked stunned, as if he couldn't believe that Enjolras had finally given in to a woman's wiles.

Enjolras quirked an eyebrow. "No. I am not 'involved' with her. She is a friend, and perhaps not even that. I made a promise to Feuilly that I never thought I would have to keep, and nothing more. I do have a sense of honor, Marius."

"What did you promise?"

"That I would look after her if I should live and he should die. And then she found me at the barricade...I would be dead if not for her. I feel I owe her."

"So she is staying with you. This isn't exactly conventional, Enjolras, living with an unmarried woman who actually cares about her reputation. How long will she stay here?"

"I don't know."

"This could ruin her prospects, Enjolras. What else do you intend to do to help her? Give her money?"

"She wouldn't take it."

"Then what?"

Enjolras cursed and glared at him, his eyes stormy with guilt. "I don't know, Marius! For God's sake, give me a suggestion if you have one because she is breaking her back in that godforsaken factory every day and I feel her brother's disappointment from the grave!"

Marius sighed, looking at Enjolras sympathetically. "It is not your fault, Enjolras. None of it."

Enjolras laughed bitterly and walked into the bedroom, Marius trailing in his wake. He didn't even bother responding, and hoped Marius would take the hint and leave him to sleep for at least a few hours.

"Regardless, Enjolras, what will you do? You will torture yourself if she continues what she's doing, although you will probably torture yourself anyway...have you thought of anything to ease her burden?"

"No."

"So you are content to just let things continue as they are?"

"I can't bring her brother back, or any of them, I can't get her job back, I can't find another job for her...I don't know what to do, Marius. Leave it for now." Enjolras sat on the bed and pulled off his boots.

Marius shrugged, a look of contemplation gracing his features. "Well...she could marry? Perhaps someone with a little bit of money and stability. Do we know anyone?"

Enjolras' mouth fell open at the unexpected suggestion. "Marry? Oh, yes, I'm sure that would solve all of her problems," he said sarcastically. "I know her much better than you, Marius, and Gabrielle is fiercely independent. She will not marry someone just to solve what she sees as a temporary problem. Not to mention I know of no one that is searching for a wife in the first place."

"Would she marry you?" Enjolras couldn't tell whether or not Marius was joking.

"Excuse me?"

"You wouldn't expect anything from her – wouldn't want her to be anything she isn't, wouldn't expect her to be a perfect, submissive little wife. She could stay independent. You may even be fond of her," Marius hinted. "You have money, and it would make her life easier. I know your mother has been begging you to marry. Gabrielle seems to like you enough, and you like talking to her, too, I've seen it."

Good God, he wasn't joking.

"Where did you get this unbelievably ludicrous idea?"

"Cosette, actually," Marius admitted. "She said she saw a connection between you both the other night and wondered what you were to each other. It made me think of all those times she came to the meetings, and how you always made it a point to speak with her. And then, losing Feuilly as she did, and arriving unexpectedly with you to dinner. It made me wonder how you feel about her."

So this idea hadn't really been out of nowhere. Enjolras didn't know what to say, something he wasn't used to. "I...I don't think this has any real merit, Marius."

"Still," Marius protested. "I know you don't care for love or romantic ideals. So that doesn't even have to factor into a decision such as this. This could be more of a friendly arrangement, if you will. And, truthfully, with you as a husband, Gabrielle would be free to be even more independent than she is now. You would never stop her doing anything she wanted to do, but you would be there to care for her and protect her as her brother has always done. She could write her novels like she mentioned. Maybe she could even manage to get published. Or she could help us write once we get the Les Amis started up again..."

Enjolras fell back onto the bed and groaned. "You don't give up, do you?"

"You asked for a suggestion."

"Go away, Marius. I want to sleep."

Marius slowly backed out of the room, grinning to himself. "Fine. But I know you're going to consider this, no matter what you just said. When you really think about it, you'll see it's actually rather sensible. Even Combeferre would agree."

Enjolras didn't reply and kept his eyes closed, and he soon heard the front door shut as Marius left. Despite his tired mind, sleep did not come easily.

As tired as he was, Enjolras didn't find rest that day. After a few hours of tossing and turning, he again dragged himself to class. His mind was pre-occupied, though, on Marius' earlier idea and he found he had no clue what the lecture had been about once it was through. Despite Enjolras' initial astonishment at Marius' suggestion of marrying Gabrielle, he kept turning it over in his mind, as he was wont to do with any idea new idea, weighing both the positive and negative consequences. He found himself wishing Combeferre was there to talk it through with him, his guide who had always been so practical and calm. Marius was wrong; Combeferre would surely think it was as radical as Enjolras...wouldn't he?

Enjolras did have Joly, though, so he stopped at Musichetta's door on the way up to his apartment. Since the barricade, Joly had practically abandoned his own apartment and was staying with Musichetta permanently. Enjolras was glad they were able to find solace in each other, for he knew they both missed Bossuet dearly.

Musichetta opened the door at his knock and grinned at him in her usual flirtatious way. "What brings you here, Enjolras? You know we're always open to having more company." She winked suggestively and Enjolras ignored her jibes as he entered the apartment. She enjoyed flirtatiously baiting him, he knew.

"Is Joly here?"

Musichetta gestured toward the bedroom and Enjolras knocked at the door before entering. Joly was seated on the bed, books spread around him, frown on his face. He looked up worriedly as Enjolras entered.

"Oh, Enjolras...I didn't expect you. Listen to this, will you? I think this may be why my head has been aching lately..."

Enjolras resisted rolling his eyes and said in what he hoped was a consoling manner, "I'm sure you're fine, Joly. I came to ask your opinion of something."

Joly hesitated, looking like he wanted to protest Enjolras' estimation of his health, but finally closed the book in front of him. "Alright. Sit." He gestured to the desk chair next to the bed and Enjolras sat. "What do you need?"

Enjolras summoned his inner lawyer, which wasn't really that difficult to do, and began in his commanding manner: "As you know, I feel responsible for Gabrielle. I promised Feuilly I would look after her, and I have been unhappy at what she's had to do since...well, since the barricade." Enjolras' eyes darkened as he said the words. He had barely mentioned their failed uprising since that day and the words tasted bitter. Joly nodded at him to go on. "I've been at a loss as to how to help her and ease her burden. This factory job is grueling, and she is too intelligent and spirited to have to waste her life in such a place as that."

"I agree," Joly said eagerly. "So have you had an idea of how to help? Or found another job for her?"

"Not exactly. Marius has, though, and he brought it up to me this morning. Part of me thinks it is absolutely ludicrous, but then another part of me wonders if it could work..."

"And?"

"Marius suggested marriage."

"To who?" Joly asked curiously.

Enjolras sighed. "To me. He thinks Gabrielle should marry me."

Joly looked at him blankly for a moment, blinking his eyes like a barn owl, then suddenly began laughing uproariously. "Married? To you?"

Enjolras frowned. He didn't really think it was anything to laugh about.

"No offense, Enjolras, but I've never been able to picture you as a married man," Joly admitted. "But what do you think about this?"

"I don't know, but I certainly don't think it is a laughing matter. This is serious, Joly; Gabrielle's happiness is entirely at stake, along what she is able to make of her life. Feuilly would be devastated to see how the light seems to have gone out of her eyes lately."

Joly held up a placating hand. "I'm sorry. You're right, it is serious. But...you? Married? Do you really think you could be a good husband to her? To anyone?"

"Why not?" Enjolras found himself rather offended. "I would respect her as an equal, and I challenge you to find many other men in Paris that would do the same. I even find her a genuinely interesting individual. We could perhaps even be real friends."

"Exactly..." Joly explained patiently. "Gabrielle is an intelligent and passionate young woman, Enjolras. I am sure she would appreciate your friendship, but in a husband...don't you think she would rather prefer love? She does not strike me as the type that would marry only for convenience, or to make things easier on herself."

"Still," Enjolras protested, "Perhaps it would at least be worth talking over with her? Yes, it would be about convenience, but I believe we would get along just fine. I have no interest in romance, it is true, but I would not stifle her and I can provide a comfortable life. She could write her novels and never have to do another speck of manual labor in her life if she doesn't want to." Enjolras found he was actually convincing himself more than anything as he talked. The more he thought the issue through, the smarter it seemed. He knew he would never have an interest in marrying anyone for love, so why not to save a bright, intelligent young woman from a life of drudgery and toil? There were worse women he could tie himself to for eternity.

Joly didn't say anything for a minute, but looked thoughtful. "I don't know, Enjolras...I suppose I can see why Marius suggested it. It would solve a lot of problems and it would certainly make Gabrielle's life easier, at least on the surface. But, where matters of the heart are concerned..."

"Since when has marriage been about the heart?" Enjolras scoffed. "More often than not, it is nothing more than a business arrangement."

"Perhaps it shouldn't be. And she is a writer," Joly pointed out. "That means she probably has a keen understanding of human emotions and probably very deep ones of her own."

"Are you implying I'm shallow?"

"I don't think anyone would ever accuse you of being shallow, Enjolras, but I do think they could perhaps call you a bit one-dimensional. You have only ever had one thing on your mind, and it is not love or women." Joly was serious.

"Still, " Enjolras insisted. "Gabrielle will have her own opinion on all of this. It couldn't hurt to ask her and talk it over. Perhaps she will surprise you."

"I don't know," Joly hesitated. "What would Feuilly think of you marrying his sister? Marriage means...well." Joly gave him a pointed look.

Enjolras glared at him, well aware of how his friends had always made fun of his lack of interest in the fairer sex. It wasn't that he didn't notice women, or that he didn't have the same urges they all did...it was just that most women annoyed him, sooner rather than later. He found them vapid, and any urges he had were quickly squashed as soon as they opened their mouths. So far, he had found Gabrielle tolerable, however, and he believed they could get along quite well.

"I would not expect that of her, Joly. If it were to happen between us someday, then I would not object," he admitted. "But I would make it very clear to her that having her in my bed is not a requirement for our marriage."

"And what if she desires children?"

Enjolras winced – that was an issue he had always held firm on. He couldn't imagine bringing a helpless little soul into this unfair and cruel world, where fortunes could turn in an instant. Gavroche's face flashed through his mind and Enjolras felt his chest tightening; the young gamin was an example of exactly why Enjolras couldn't imagine ever becoming a father. Look what happened when parents died or abandoned their children. They starved on the streets of Paris, barely scraping by from day to day, desperate for love and affection.

"Well?" Joly prompted, and Enjolras was shaken out of his silent musings.

"I suppose that is something I would have to consider," he said diplomatically.

Joly shrugged in defeat. "Then speak to her about it, if you must. But I hope you understand that this would change your life forever. And hers."

"That is what I'm hoping," Enjolras said quietly.

Enjolras waited outside of the factory that evening, and Gabrielle stopped dead in her tracks when she saw him. "Antoine! What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you, obviously. Would you like to have dinner with me? I have something I need to speak to you about..." He offered her his arm, looking strangely nervous. Gabrielle looked at him curiously and they began walking.

"What is it you need?"

"I think it is best discussed over some food and good wine." Enjolras looked at her sideways and tried to smile, though it came out more like a grimace.

Gabrielle's curiosity was piqued, along with her nerves. It didn't seem like it could be anything good.

They walked to a small café and Gabrielle sat, letting Enjolras wander to the bar and order wine. He came back with a whole bottle and Gabrielle rose her eyebrows as he poured them both a glass. "Is alcohol a requirement for this subject we are to discuss?" Gabrielle asked.

Enjolras avoided her eyes, adjusting his waistcoat and surveying their surroundings. "Yes," he said simply, and sat, taking a sip of the wine. "This may be one of the most awkward conversations of my life thus far."

Gabrielle laughed nervously, surprised at his transparency. "What in the world is this about, Antoine? You aren't acting like yourself, and seem half terrified. It can't possibly be that bad."

"Believe me, you're going to need it, too. Drink." He gestured to the wine and Gabrielle took a sip, staring at him incredulously. "Now, before I begin, I need you to promise you will listen with an open mind and not make any hasty judgments."

"Alright. Please, begin; I am waiting with baited breath," Gabrielle joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Enjolras cleared his throat and straightened, ready to argue his case, Gabrielle could tell. Her jokes did nothing to change his solemn nature.

"As you know, I have been rather unhappy with your new employment, for no other reason than that the work is tiring, you seem unhappy, and I feel that I am not truly keeping my promise to your brother. It causes me immense guilt, Gabrielle, thinking that this could be your life from now on, that everything you have to offer the world could be squandered beneath the exhaustion and the monotony of the day to day. It isn't fair." Enjolras paused, his eyes conflicted, and Gabrielle could tell his mind was in another place.

He shook his head, snapping himself out of his memories, and continued. "Now, when Marius broached this subject earlier, I was quick to brush him off, but the more I have weighed it in my mind, the more I seem to see the sense in it, and I hope that before immediately saying no, you will at least consider my proposal." Enjolras seemed to find a sudden humor in his words and laughed at himself, mumbling, "Literally," under his breath.

Gabrielle gazed at him, wondering if Enjolras had lost his mind. She had never seen him like this before, so unsure of himself and awkward, yet arguing his case with an articulate beauty, every inch the lawyer. "Really, Antoine, what are you trying to ask me? I'm rather baffled..."

"Well, to be blunt...I can offer you a comfortable and safe life, Gabrielle. You could write your novels, concentrate all of your time and effort on them. Or do anything else you wanted to, it wouldn't matter to me. I will give you anything you want, or nothing at all. And I...well, I wonder if you would..." He suddenly lost his nerve and winced, rubbing his forehead. He looked younger than his twenty-three years. "That is, I wonder if you would consider becoming my wife."

Gabrielle was too stunned for words, and wondered if she had actually heard him correctly. Had he just proposed to her? "You...are asking me to marry you?"

"Yes."

"And...this is something you think is a good solution for the problem that you see? This is how you think my financial difficulties can be solved?"

"Well, yes, essentially." He leaned forward, gesturing to the window. "Gabrielle, when was the last time you actually saw the sun? The last time you were able to do something you wanted to do? The last time you were able to use your creativity, your mind, to create something beautiful? If we were to marry, you could do as you please all the time. I would never presume to tell you what to do or try to make you something you are not..."

Gabrielle couldn't help herself and burst into laughter, covering her eyes. "This is absurd, Antoine! Do you truly know what you are asking? Marriage is...well, marriage is forever! Until death!"

"And we both know how unexpected and swiftly death can come," Enjolras said gently. "Gabrielle, forgive me if I speak out of turn, but I have noticed that I seem to be your only friend in the world right now. You have no family, no other ties. Is that correct?"

Gabrielle sobered and nodded slowly. It was an embarrassing fact, but true. "Yes, I suppose. You are all I have, and I only have you because of your absolutely skewed sense of duty..."

"You call it skewed, but I call it honorable. And that really just proves my point," he said smugly. "Whether you agree to marry me or not, I will not leave you alone. I owe your brother, and I owe you my life, whatever pathetic little is left of it. If you are going to be irrevocably tied to me anyway, why can we not make it official? Let me help you the most that I can."

Gabrielle sighed and looked at him wonderingly. "Antoine, don't you think you might actually find a woman you love one day? What if that should happen and you are already married to me? Then you would feel nothing but resentment."

He shook his head adamantly. "Believe me, Gabrielle, I have no time or interest in love. The only thing I have ever loved is the dream of what I believe my country could be."

"That isn't true," Gabrielle protested. "You love your friends; you deeply love your friends. You are most certainly capable of a deep and passionate love. I can't imagine that you won't ever turn that love to a woman." She blushed at the intimate nature of their conversation, but felt these things needed to be said if he was really as serious as he said he was.

He looked out the window in contemplation for several moments. Finally, he turned his fervent gaze to her. "If that is true, then would it be so bad if it were you?"

Gabrielle blushed deeper, her mouth falling open slightly at his implication and the visions that unexpectedly appeared in her mind. "I..., well, I..." she stumbled, not knowing what to say.

Enjolras pressed on, and Gabrielle was surprised to see some of the fire he had been missing since the barricade flaming in his eyes. "Of course, Gabrielle, I wouldn't expect anything of you. Nothing. I desperately want to help you, and I believe we could be friends. I could think of worse ways to spend the rest of my days than with you." He managed a small smile.

"I can't give you an answer right now," Gabrielle whispered. She couldn't seem to find her voice. "I need to think about all you have said and offered..."

"Of course. Take all the time you need. And if you decide against it, I will not be offended or discouraged, Gabrielle. Whatever you decide, I will always be your friend."

Gabrielle stared at Enjolras, half baffled by all that had been said and half touched. Even though her thoughts were in turmoil, she couldn't help but wonder...what would if be like to be married to such a remarkable man?

I can't stop writing, y'all, it's bad.

This chapter is obviously a game changer. :) Things start getting a bit more fun from here on out! Please, please, please review and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!