Usual disclaimer applies.
March, 2012
~63~
Easing my way out of my truck, I stare up at Forks High. I can't wait to be done with this place. Done with the drama, the lies, the secrets. Done with the students who attend here, who solely focus on fitting in and doing whatever it takes to do so.
But I know I have unfinished business to attend to first.
To begin with, although I have applied to colleges across the country, unless I can win that scholarship, I know I won't be able to attend any that are out of state. And despite everything else that is going on in my life, this is causing me a lot of concern, a lot of worry.
Especially since the money is coming from the Cullen's, who may or may not like me after I go visit their house today after school.
Because Edward needs to learn the truth no matter how difficult it will be for me to tell him.
And it will be difficult.
It will be awkward, emotional, tense, and something that I would love to avoid. I mean, this is Edward Cullen. A boy whom I once loved with all of my heart, but is now someone who is essentially a stranger, a person I haven't talked to for this entire year, excluding that one, horrible conversation two days ago. I may be brave, daring, and all of those great things, but when it comes to this… it's hard to feel anything but dread.
And just like anything else that is being avoided, the end of the school day comes way too quickly. And the drive to the Cullen's house is even quicker.
Unlike the last time I was here, I notice that the security gate is indeed unlocked, affording me easy entry into the estate. And suddenly I am faced with the colossal, white house that while looks beautiful and serene from the outside, I know is filled with secrets, lies, and pain. Putting my truck into park and turning off the engine, I lean my cheek against the steering wheel, steeling myself for what I know is about to come.
Because… what will Edward's reaction be? I know the information I am here to share will undoubtedly make him feel better, will be relieving. Our entire relationship, one that must have looked so tarnished and blackened to Edward for this past year, will become clean again. The self-loathing he must have felt after finding out I was his sister while he still had feelings for me will have no reason to exist any longer.
But does this information really change all that much? Edward and I are still two different people now because of the lie, the story told by Esme to push my family away from her's. It has still led to crushing hurt, pain that seems insurmountable. It led to my mom disappearing, to Alice leaving. It has made the experience of my senior year of high school almost unbearable and despite Edward's outward appearance, I doubt he really fared much better than I did.
But even if what I am about to tell Edward can't change the past, can't undo the hurt that has occurred, it can at least help to improve the future, for both Edward and myself.
Taking several steadying, deep breaths, I exit my truck and walk up to the Cullen's front door.
Ringing the bell, I try to remain calm as I wait for it to be answered.
Only it isn't Edward who opens the door, peering down to look at me with equal amounts of surprise and disgust.
…It's Esme.
A/N: Okay everyone, this will be the last update until August 8th as I am travelling to Montreal for the amazing Osheaga music festival. It's going to be fabulous, wonderful, etc. but I will be offline for its entirety. So have an amazing week everyone!