Chapter XII
Over the next few weeks, Gabrielle found her days gradually becoming busier and busier. She began spending hours with Genevieve Durand and her friends, many of whom were the wives of other lawyers. Some, however, Genevieve had recruited on her own. When they met during the evening at the Durand's house, even some men, including Monsieur Durand, came to the meetings. In many ways, it made Gabrielle nostalgic, and she often found herself gazing at the door, wondering when her brother and the rest of the Les Amis would walk in. Of course, they never did, not even Enjolras.
Gabrielle was disappointed that so far, he showed no interest in returning to his old work, though Gabrielle had to admit that what they were currently doing was vastly different from the mission of the Les Amis. Enjolras had been very good at words, and rallies, and getting a crowed momentarily fired up...but change? Everything had rested on the one idea of a revolution. Other than that, Gabrielle mused, they hadn't really done much of anything. And in their split-second failure, they had lost everything they'd worked for.
Gabrielle and Genevieve began their mission by appealing to churches in the city, asking if they were willing to house the less fortunate in the evenings. Some turned them away with disdain and excuses, but some were open to the idea. They had no blankets, bedding, or cots for people to sleep on, but a roof and a warm space was better than sleeping under a bridge or on the street. Once word got out, the churches filled up quickly each evening, with the abaissé lining up hours in advance, as there was only so much space available. Most of those that came were children, Gabrielle noticed with sadness.
The next obstacle they faced was food. Food required money, and though the Durand's and their friends were wealthy, if they spent all of their own money on their cause, they would soon run out. There wasn't enough money in France to feed the unfortunate of Paris every day.
And that was how Gabrielle found herself begging Enjolras to attend an upcoming ball with her, hosted by the Durand's. They intended to use the occasion to raise funds, and many important members of society were invited.
When Gabrielle brought it up, Enjolras gaped at her. "A ball? You actually want to attend a ball?"
"Well, yes..." She hadn't yet told him why.
"What has changed? You were terrified of that first dinner party, and this will be much bigger."
She shrugged. "We are hoping to raise money, to begin providing food for the people who have been sleeping in the churches each evening. Genevieve thinks I should be there. She said..." Gabrielle stopped and blushed, not wanting to sound vain.
"What did she say?"
"Well, she said all of those stuffy aristocrats will fall over themselves to give money if I bat my eyes and dance with them..."
Enjolras raised his eyebrows. "Because you're young and attractive? So she intends to use you."
"I don't really think of it that way, Antoine. And she was joking, or exaggerating, anyway."
"So you intend to use your femininity and looks to get what you want?" Was that disapproval she heard?
"If it gets us what we need, in order to help others, is there anything wrong with that? It's just a dance or two," Gabrielle pressed gently.
Enjolras went back to his work without another word, his face unreadable. The way he so abruptly shut her down and brushed her off grated on her nerves and Gabrielle felt her temper rising as the minutes ticked by. He still ignored her.
Finally she burst out, "Are you judging me? For saying I am going to dance with another man or two at a ball? Where you're supposed to dance?"
"Yes."
She hadn't expected such a blunt response. "Pardon me?"
"Yes, I am judging you. You asked. I answered." His voice was cold.
Gabrielle narrowed her eyes and rose. "You have some nerve, Antoine. Like you have never used your handsome face to get what you want."
"I have not," he insisted calmly. "I believe using your looks devalues your humanity, Gabrielle, and makes others see you simply as an object and not a person. The fact that you don't have a problem with doing that to yourself makes me question your judgment."
Gabrielle had never felt so insulted, and somehow coming from Enjolras made it worse. "You've used your looks, and you don't even know it! You're too wrapped up in your own little world to understand how others see you!" She knew she was near shouting, which was even more embarrassing considering his calm demeanor.
He shrugged. "Perhaps you're right, I don't know. I don't wish to argue. If you want to go to the ball, I will go with you. You may do as you wish there. I would never try to stop you, of course."
Gabrielle rolled her eyes, her blood boiling. It seemed the more icy and cool he was, the more annoyed she was. How in the world did he manage to get under her skin so easily? Why did she care so much about what he thought, and why did his disapproval sting so badly? And even worse, his indifference to what she did? Gabrielle was as annoyed at herself for caring as she was at him.
"Fine then. Thank you so much," she said sarcastically, and stomped into the bedroom to get ready for bed. He didn't reach for her hand that night.
The day of the ball soon arrived, and Gabrielle prepared at Marius and Cosette's home. She had invited them a week ago, when Cosette curiously asked how Gabrielle was going to possibly get herself ready with no help. Gabrielle had realized with horror she was right. She had no one to do her hair or tightly lace her corset, and not even any jewelry to wear. Thankfully, though, she did have Cosette and the use of her maid, Marie.
Gabrielle wore the blue gown she had been married in, although with Cosette's help, it was even more impressive than it had been that day. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she couldn't help but stare for a minute. Her waist was tiny and her breasts full, due to Marie tugging and pulling on her corset so tightly that Gabrielle could barely breathe. Her hair was elegantly swept onto her head, a sapphire comb of Cosette's daintily holding up the curls. There was no longer a girl staring back at her, but a woman, and Gabrielle was a bit startled by the realization.
She descended the stairs with Cosette to find Enjolras and Marius waiting for them in the hall, and noticed with a bit of pride how Enjolras' eyes lingered on her body just a touch longer than usual. Marius fawned over Cosette, kissing her hand and telling her how beautiful she looked, but Enjolras only nodded cordially to Gabrielle. She gave him a chilly smile in response. They sat next to each other in the fiacre, but pressed into separate corners, unlike Marius and Cosette, whose hands were intertwined. There wasn't an inch of space between them.
Enjolras was quiet, and Gabrielle knew he probably wasn't going to have a good time. She told herself she didn't care a bit, though she knew it was a lie, and found herself smiling and talking a bit uncharacteristically when they arrived to make up for it. She felt like a different person in her fancy clothes and hair, anyway, and decided that the better she could play the part, the happier she would be. It would bring more money in, and there was certainly nothing wrong with that.
Gabrielle circled the room, letting Genevieve introduce her to everyone. Gabrielle didn't find it as difficult to talk or keep up a conversation as anticipated, especially if she was speaking about the work they had been doing.
She sat next to Enjolras during dinner, and he leaned over and said quietly, "You look quite at ease tonight."
"Do I? Am I flirting too outrageously for you?" She smirked and cocked her head.
Enjolras sighed and said placatingly, "You're being perfectly charming. I may have...well, I may have jumped to conclusions a little bit when we talked."
"Oh, you mean when you accused me of being practically not fit for polite society?"
Enjolras rolled his eyes. "I never said, or implied, any such thing. I'm trying to apologize, Gabrielle."
She bit her lip to avoid biting back, but was distracted by the gentleman on her left speaking to her. She turned away from Enjolras and answered politely, and was soon caught up in a different conversation, leaving things with her husband unfinished.
As they rose to go into the ballroom and begin the dancing, Gabrielle felt his hand on her back, leading her with him. She rose her eyebrows and gazed at him evenly. "Do you need something, Antoine?"
He sighed and leaned closer so they wouldn't be overheard. "Are you really still so mad at me?"
"I'm not mad, no. Annoyed is a better word."
"Well, will you set your annoyance aside and dance the first dance with me? People will talk if you ignore your husband all night."
"Fine. I will dance with you." She did her best to sound unhappy about it. She berated herself for being so cold to him, and didn't really even understand why she hadn't yet let the matter drop. He had apologized, or tried to.
Enjolras took her hand and led her to the dance floor, one hand resting rather firmly on her waist as they got into position. He pulled her just a little closer than necessary.
She glared up at him and he smiled wryly. The first dance was a slow waltz, and Gabrielle was surprised at how gracefully Enjolras moved across the floor. He was clearly the leader, and made dancing easy.
His eyes never left her face, and Gabrielle soon felt her cheeks flushing under his intense gaze. She couldn't tell what he was thinking, and she hated herself for loving the feel of his arms around her.
"You dance well," she finally said, as they turned effortlessly.
"Thank you." He was silent for a moment, and she noticed a flicker of something flash across his face. "I'm sorry I haven't told you how beautiful you look tonight, Gabrielle."
She blushed and managed a small smile. "Thank you. And it's alright. We haven't been very happy with each other lately."
"You didn't seem very interested in my apology earlier."
"Yes, I'm...I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to be unkind to you."
"And I didn't mean to judge you so harshly last week. There's a lot about women, in general, that I don't know," he admitted.
Gabrielle snorted in laughter and raised her eyebrows. "Really? I had no idea."
Gabrielle was disappointed when the dance ended and he took a step back. The place where his hand had rested on her waist burned.
Before he turned away and left the dance floor, Enjolras unexpectedly leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Do what you need to do. Dance with whomever you want. I think you're handling yourself admirably tonight. But save the last dance for me."
The room began to spin as his breath tickled her neck, and Gabrielle's heart leaped into her throat as she felt his lips ever so lightly trail along the curve of her jaw. As fast as it had happened, it was over, however, and Enjolras walked away, leaving her feeling strangely bereft and confused in the middle of the dance floor. She wondered if she had imagined the whole thing.
Gabrielle soon found herself in the arms of another partner, however, and forced a bright smile onto her face, though she still found it difficult to catch her breath. Gabrielle liked to dance, but after that, with him, nothing could possibly compare. She did her best to talk pleasantly and offer all of the reasons why her partner should contribute his money to the cause, but her mind wasn't really on her task. Every once in a while, Gabrielle would feel her skin tingle, almost through a sixth sense, and when she looked around, sure enough, Enjolras would be gazing at her. Halfway through the dances, Gabrielle's feet were protesting for a rest, so when she spotted Cosette doing the same on a sofa in the corner, Gabrielle wandered over to join her.
Cosette smiled as Gabrielle sat. "Hello, Gabrielle - you look like you're having a nice evening, especially that first waltz. I didn't know Enjolras could dance so well."
Gabrielle bit her lip and looked around, making sure no one else was paying attention to their conversation.
"Enjolras and I haven't been getting along lately," Gabrielle admitted quietly. "But I think maybe we're past it. He seemed..." What had he seemed? Not his usual self, that was certain. But not angry or disapproving of her, either. He was as ever changing as the weather, so stoic and hard to read, and yet so full of heat and fire at the same time.
Cosette smiled wickedly and whispered in Gabrielle's ear, "Well, honestly, the best part of having a fight with your husband is what comes after when he apologizes!"
Gabrielle laughed loudly at Cosette's admission, and gently reached out for the glass of wine in her hand. "If you are speaking of things you and Marius do in the bedroom, Cosette, I think it is time for you to stop drinking."
Cosette giggled again and patted Gabrielle's hand. "You are probably right. I suppose I shall be mortified by that comment tomorrow. Right now I can't seem to care. And I think you should go dance with Enjolras again, as he keeps staring at you."
Gabrielle looked up to see Enjolras looking at her from across the room. She glanced down at the rest of Cosette's wine and took a healthy drink before bidding Cosette goodbye. Gabrielle stood and crossed the room to Enjolras, telling herself to be brave.
"Are you having a nice time?" she asked.
"It could be worse." Enjolras' lips curved upward in the semblance of a smile. "You seem to be enjoying yourself. But," he stressed, "there are still several gentleman you haven't danced with."
Gabrielle took a deep breath and shrugged. She looked him straight on and said confidently, "Honestly, Antoine, I don't think I want to dance again at all...unless I am dancing with you."
Enjolras looked startled at her admission, and Gabrielle felt a little triumphant that she had rattled him. He shifted from foot to foot for a moment, and then said quietly, "Well then...will you dance with me, Gabrielle?"
Gabrielle giggled and dipped into a graceful curtsey. "I will, Monsieur."
He offered her his hand and led her onto the dance floor. They danced only with each other the rest of the night, and Gabrielle was barely aware of anyone else in the room. They talked some, but mostly just looked into each other's eyes, and though it should have felt awkward, it didn't. Gabrielle felt light-headed and strange, almost giddy, just from his presence. By the end of the night, they were pressed so closely together it almost wasn't decent, but neither seemed to notice or care.
After the last dance, Gabrielle reluctantly stepped away, though Enjolras kept her hand in his. She realized he was as flushed as she was, from the dancing, and hopefully, from being so near to her. "That was...nice," she managed, and swallowed. "It's rather hot in here, isn't it?"
He nodded. "Yes, I'd like some air. Are you ready to go?"
"Yes, let me just say goodbye to Genevieve." She smiled and squeezed his hand before letting go, feeling his eyes follow her across the floor as she walked away.
When Genevieve saw her coming, she grinned. "Gabrielle, my dear," the older woman said conspiratorially. "Did you have a good time this evening?"
Gabrielle's turned even more red and she grinned. "A very nice time, thank you, Genevieve. I danced with and talked to as many people as I could..."
"Before you simply couldn't stay away from your own husband any more, I know," Genevieve teased. "You did well, Gabrielle, thank you. And I must admit, it is rather refreshing to see two young people so deeply in love. It does an old romantic heart good to see it still exists."
Gabrielle blinked in surprise at Genevieve's words. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, not sure how to respond. Is that really how they looked, how everyone there had viewed them?
God, was she in love with him? The thought was staggering.
She felt a bit dizzy, and mumbled goodbye to Genevieve. She was still dazed as she wandered back over to Enjolras, who immediately took her hand again. His gaze turned concerned as he looked at her.
"Gabrielle? Are you alright? You look a bit flushed."
"What? Oh, I'm...I'm just hot. From the dancing," she muttered. He fetched her a glass of water and she sipped it for a few minutes before they left. They climbed into a fiacre and Enjolras never let go of her hand, not even once they were inside and alone.
"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked with concern.
"Yes, I'm fine. I'm feeling better already, Antoine," she smiled unsteadily. "Just tired now. I've barely sat down all evening. I've never danced so much in my life!"
Enjolras hesitated a moment, but then tentatively wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her firmly against his side. She closed her eyes, feeling even more confused at what his touch did to her, and the reactions it instinctively caused in her body, but also secretly thrilled. She let her head rest against his shoulder and sighed.
It was a long ride home, and eventually, she began to calm down. The rocking motion of the carriage and her own confusion coupled to make her feel exhausted.
It wasn't such a bad thing to have feelings for your own husband, she supposed. And clearly, he felt something for her.
"Thank you for dancing with me tonight," she finally said.
"You're welcome. It was actually a rather nice evening," he said tentatively. "I've never enjoyed these things before, all the extravagance and phony conversations, but...tonight wasn't bad."
Gabrielle grinned a little, feeling the fiacre finally come to a halt as it stopped in front of their apartment. "Well, I'm glad spending time with me isn't too torturous," she teased.
He helped her down and Gabrielle winced as her feet hit the ground. She had a feeling her whole body would be sore tomorrow.
They walked upstairs slowly, and Enjolras let Gabrielle undress and climb into bed before he entered the room. She wanted to talk, maybe even tell him how happy she felt, but her exhaustion won out and she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. For the first time in a long while, her dreams were pleasant.
Two days later, Gabrielle found herself helping make massive amounts of soup for the hungry people sleeping in the church. She worked alongside other volunteers and even the old priest in charge of the church. They hadn't yet opened the doors, but many were already lined up outside. Gabrielle eyed the tin plates and spoons Genevieve had scrounged up through donations, hoping they had enough for everyone to use.
When the soup was finished, Gabrielle organized two lines to serve the food and made sure everyone knew what to do. She found it easy to be in charge, and instinctively knew how to direct the others.
"Madame," one of Genevieve's friends, named Adele, suddenly appeared at her elbow. "Your husband is here to see you."
"My husband?" Gabrielle looked up to see Enjolras, Marius, Cosette, and Joly standing just inside the doors. Cosette looked a little nervous, but Marius and Joly were grinning. Enjolras was somberly surveying the soup lines, and nodded when his eyes met hers.
Gabrielle walked over to the group, wiping her hands on the long white apron she wore to cover her dress, and attempting to smooth the curls that had come loose from her hair.
"Bonjour. What are you all doing here? Not that I'm not thrilled to see you!" Gabrielle squeezed Cosette's hand in greeting.
"We've finally convinced Enjolras to come be a part of this," Joly said happily. "He's been telling us what you've been up to, Gabrielle. Put us to work, we're help to help!"
"Oh!" Gabrielle smiled slowly, trying not to let it show how happy she was that Enjolras had finally given in and was regaining interest in helping those who couldn't help themselves. "Are you sure?"
"Absolutely. Just tell us what to do," Marius answered.
Gabrielle looked at Enjolras and he nodded. "Me, too."
"Well...thank you, all of you. I'm so happy you're here," she said sincerely. Gabrielle led the group over to the second soup line, where they still needed more people, and told everyone what to do. After she had spoken, she laid her hand on Enjolras' arm and said quietly, "Can I speak to you?"
"Of course." He followed her over to a corner of the large hall, his expression unreadable; however, Gabrielle was beginning to understand that the careful mask of calm he was now wearing was actually the signal for some sort of inner turmoil.
"Are you sure you want to be here?" she pressed quietly.
He sighed. "I don't know, truthfully. But I'm curious. I want to see what you're doing, and the others have been bothering me incessantly. They were going to come without me."
"And you didn't want to be left behind." Gabrielle smiled. "Antoine, I'm glad you're here. So glad, really. I don't think you'll regret it."
He didn't answer, but his eyes were conflicted. Gabrielle reached up and cupped his cheek for a moment, running her thumb along his jaw. Her hand moved to his neck, and before she lost her nerve, Gabrielle stood on tiptoe to gently kiss his cheek. He looked surprised, but let her take his hand and lead him back over to the others. Gabrielle noticed Marius elbow him playfully, a knowing look on his face, and Enjolras glared back.
Gabrielle turned away to hide her grin, and walked to the front doors. She opened them and directed the people waiting outside where to go. Some of the children had become familiar and greeted her by name. Luckily, that night, they had enough food for everyone. Word must not have spread yet about what they were doing, she thought. She watched those inside eat hungrily, and talked to anyone who expressed interest in conversation. The adults who had come were wary and distrustful, but Gabrielle couldn't really blame them.
Enjolras mostly stayed back and watched, but Gabrielle noticed Cosette seemed to be in her element, too, especially when talking to the children. Marius and Joly had even begun washing the dishes, and looked happy to be doing something productive again.
Once the food was gone, Gabrielle and the others helped get everything cleaned up and re-organized, ready to do it all again the next day. She was tired, but happy. Everything had gone even better than anticipated, and she hoped that Genevieve, across the city at another church, had had luck just as good. Everyone was settling in for the night, so Gabrielle removed her apron and donned her wrap instead, prepared to walk home with the others in the chilly October weather. Autumn had settled over the city, and the days of summer seemed far away and almost from a different lifetime. She had been married to Enjolras nearly three months, and he was nearly done with school.
"Gabrielle, what you all have accomplished in such a short time is remarkable," Marius said. "I'm very impressed."
Gabrielle smiled. "Thank you, Marius. It has mostly been Genevieve Durand, truthfully, but I do like feeling like I'm doing something worthwhile."
Gabrielle was surprised when she felt Enjolras take her hand. He was usually more reserved around his friends. She intertwined her fingers with his and squeezed.
"I would love to come back and help again. Or, I noticed that there are no blankets? What else are you all still in need of?" Cosette asked.
Gabrielle ran through the list of things they needed and what they wanted to try and do next. "Everything costs so much money, of course," she sighed. "But people have been much more generous than we first anticipated."
They came to Marius and Cosette's home first and bid them goodbye. Enjolras, Gabrielle, and Joly continued until they came to their own building.
Joly stopped outside of Musichetta's door. "Gabrielle?" Joly asked curiously. "Do you think Madame Durand would be interested in me volunteering my services as a doctor? And trying to get others to do the same? Especially through the winter months, when everyone will probably be sick and in need of care..."
Gabrielle was touched at Joly's offer. "Joly, I think that would be wonderful! I'm sure Madame Durand would love the idea. I'll talk to her about it tomorrow. Thank you."
Joly grinned and opened Musichetta's door, giving the couple a wink over his shoulder. "You two have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"
Gabrielle laughed and even Enjolras cracked a smile, rolling his eyes and heading back up the stairs. "Which means nothing is off limits," he said good naturedly.
Gabrielle followed him into the apartment and stretched, raising her arms over her head. "What an exhausting day. I can't imagine doing it all again tomorrow...but I suppose I will." She yawned and laid her wrap on the back of the sofa.
Enjolras turned to look at her, his eyes still amused. "I realized tonight I married quite a force of nature."
Gabrielle's cheeks colored. "What do you mean? And is that a good or bad thing?"
"Good," he said simply. "And I just mean that you were a natural there. You were in charge and comfortable with your own authority. The people there respect you. Your brother would be astonished and proud of you."
Gabrielle smiled slowly, touched by his words. "I...thank you, Antoine. That's remarkably nice of you to say."
Enjolras untied his cravat and slipped it off, unbuttoning the top of his shirt. Gabrielle found her eyes drifting to the little triangle of exposed chest he had revealed, and she quickly lowered her eyes, suddenly imagining her lips trailing over that bit of his skin. How she wanted him, she mused, and how utterly horrifying it would be if he rejected her advances. It was that fear of rejection that kept her from acting on her true impulses and desires.
Enjolras sat on the sofa and pulled his boots off. "I will go back again," he finally said. "I enjoyed being there. Feeling useful."
She snapped herself out of her thoughts. "Did you? Good. I was hoping you would feel that way, and that it wouldn't make you...well, think of other things. Or get lost in them, rather. You'll always think of them, I'm afraid..."
He rose and stood in front of her, his curls falling in his eyes. "I don't think it's a bad thing that I think of them, Gabrielle. I must learn from my mistakes."
"What were your mistakes?" She stepped closer, reaching out to run her fingers along the ornate threads running through his vest.
"Moving too quickly, getting too caught up, thinking we were above it all. Not appealing to the people. Wanting too much to happen too fast. I could go on for hours." His eyes darkened as he listed his shortcomings and Gabrielle's hand tightened on his vest.
"You're still going to change the world, Antoine. I have no doubt of that," she said fiercely.
He gazed at her for a moment, and suddenly, before she even knew what was happening, his lips were pressed against hers. She froze, her grip on his vest loosening, and her arms slowly snaking up and around his neck. His lips gently roved over her own, and she soon found herself kissing him back, gently pulling and sucking on his bottom lip. Her knees felt weak, and she was grateful to feel his arms wrap securely around her waist, holding her up.
She didn't know how long they kissed, but by the time they both reluctantly pulled away, Gabrielle's lips felt bruised and swollen. They were both breathing heavily, she noticed, and neither knew what to say. She didn't remove her arms from his neck, but he reached up and pushed her hair back, and she realized it had come loose and tumbled down her back during their kiss. His eyes searched her face, looking for approval, she realized, and she smiled.
He smiled back and leaned forward, pressing his lips to her forehead. She closed her eyes, feeling her heart pound in her chest.
After a minute, he finally spoke. "I hate to say it, but...I have work to do. There's a paper due in a few days..."
Gabrielle looked up at him and nodded. "Of course. It's alright." She reluctantly stepped back, immediately missing the feel of his body pressed against hers. "It's late, anyway."
Enjolras nodded and watched her walk to the bedroom door. "Bonne nuit, Gabrielle."
She gave him an unsteady smile before closing the bedroom door behind her. How would she ever get to sleep now?
Whoa, action! I hope you guys enjoyed.
Reviews really fell off for the last chapter. Please leave me a review if you enjoyed this one! (And thanks to all that did!)
And btw...things are about to get super smutty. Seriously, it's shameless. So...yeah, just a warning. ha Look for the next chapter in a few days. :)
~Aimee