AN: I'm on a roll with updating quickly, I guess it's because there's so much to work with.

Nataly SkyPot: Thank you for posting a review every time. I wish more people reviewed (hint hint!)

Another huge thank to jedipokemon, who's been like my unofficial partner in writing the story. When I ever I find an idea in my inbox my writers muse kicks in and types for me. Now, here is chapter five.

"You see… my father isn't dead," I began, "not literally anyway-"

Han cut me off, "Anakin Skywalker isn't dead! Holy $% , with him on our side the Empire won't stand a chance."

Leia winked at me and said, "You don't even know the start of it. He knows all Imperial tactics and plans like the back of his hand"

Han said, "How does he know? And how do you know that he knows? Who's ship are we on anyway?"

I let out a guilty laugh, "We met recently. And he knows cuz he was a prisoner of the Empire."

Leia stared at me as if to say "no he wasn't" and just responded with an "it's a metaphor" look.

"Aren't prisoners supposed to know nothing about their captors?" Han asked.

"Being the Chosen One he was a special case. The Emperor wanted Anakin all to himself. So the onion head told a few thousand lies and converted him."

Han stared blankly, "What."

Chewie growled something and Han responded, "What do you mean by 'That explains the scent'? What are you three hiding?"

"Han," Leia said, "You two have kinda met before..."

"Really? The only lightsaber wielding Imperial I've met before is Darth V- HOLY $& /! THAT'S MESSED UP! CHEWIE DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?"

Chewie nodded and Leia added, "And by the way, I'm Luke's sister."

Han stared at her for a moment and then said, "So you kissed your own brother."

"I didn't know back then!"

"When did you find out?!"

"Today!"

Chewie rolled his eyes at their argument and I asked him, "Do you think they'll ever stop arguing?"

He shook his head and I agreed. Han had a thing for using formal titles for teasing. Which would be a bit of an issue. Oh well.

As the argument raged on I suddenly heard a familiar voice inside my head. *Luke, I'm bored. Can you explain a little faster?*

Realizing who it was I responded, *Sorry, Han and Leia got into an argument over force knows what.*

Laughing came from the other end, *They're quite the couple huh. Could you try and stop their sissy fight? I'm afraid Artoo's gonna get bored and decide he needs to fix my life support system. I don't want to know how that'll end.*

*I'll try* I responded and brought myself back to reality.

"Chewie," I said very loudly so Han and Leia could hear, "this fighting has to stop." I cleared my throat and commanded in a Darth Vader like fashion, "You are free to use any means necessary, but I want the alive. No disintegrations!"

Han looked at me, "Like father like son. We'll stop MY LORD, but please don't talk like that. It's creepy."

"That was the point, to creep you out so you focused on me."

*Well played,* my father sent through the force, *but I agree with Han, please don't talk like that.*

Turned my attention back to my friends and Leia said, "Back to the topic at hand, Luke has the weird ability to see the good in everybody. Except people that don't have it in them. So he followed your advice Han, and instead of killing his father like he was told to, went to go save him from himself."

Han looked a little worried, I don't blame him. He then looked down at where the prosthetic leg had gotten stuck. "What happened there?" he asked.

"A little incident involving a mechanical leg." I replied innocently.

"Mechanical leg? No one I know has a mechanical leg-"

"Han my mission was successful," I said trying to speed it up so Artoo didn't get ideas.

He connected the dots quickly, "That'll be an interesting few minutes."

Smoke came pouring out of the door leading to where I hid Anakin.

"HE GOT IDEAS LUKE!" the 'Hero with no Fear' yelled, "INVOLVING A CAN OF PINK FIREWORKS!"

I ran in there with the others following me. It was quite a sight to see. There were fireworks going off in the middle of the room, pink paint all over the place. My father had somehow managed to get under a bed and he yelled, "TAKE COVER!"

We did as told and all hid under or behind random objects in the room. Eventually the fireworks settled down and we all got out of our hiding places. Leia immediately rushed to help Anakin (you kinda need two legs to walk) and when she tried to lift him up said, "Oh force, you're too heavy!"

"Blame whatever nerfherder designed this dang suit," Anakin countered, "I hate this thing."

"It does look uncomfortable," Han said, trying to keep things casual.

The efforts of Han and Leia combined barely managed to lift my father onto the bed.

"Well," Han stated, "that's one thing I never thought I'd be doing."

"And I never thought I'd be trapped in a walking coffin with pink paint splattered all over it AND missing a leg. But sometimes we need to expect the unexpected, and the horrible."

"Like your medical record?" I said teasingly.

"Medical record! I've got to see this," Han said.

Anakin pulled out a data pad, pushed a button, and a scan was completed. A message popped up that said "Your medical scan has been completed. You're condition has gotten worse since yesterday. You might suddenly die soon. Thank you for using our health program."

"That's the most disturbing thing I've ever read," Leia said, cringing at the 'You might suddenly die soon' part.

Anakin handed me the data pad and the report popped up. It was 3,593,863 words long, all of them describing injuries.

After several minutes of disturbing descriptions, we finished the report.

Chewie growled something along the lines of "We need to get a medic. Or ten."

I couldn't agree more.

AN: I got two major things set in motion this chapter, one more obvious than the other. Please leave a review in the little box. It's not lung regeneration surgery (anyone get my joke there?)