Chapter XX

Gabrielle slept fitfully, tossing and turning all night long. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw frightful images of things that had already passed and things she was afraid would soon happen because of Enjolras' rash actions. Her heart was constantly fluttering, beating loudly against her ribs, revealing her panic not only to herself, but to Enjolras, too.

Even Enjolras' arm firmly holding her waist didn't settle her. Just before sunrise, Gabrielle opened her eyes and felt wide awake, even though she had only been dozing for a few minutes. She turned her head to find Enjolras gazing at her, his eyes tired and puffy from his own lack of rest.

"Can't you sleep?" she asked softly.

"No. Someone has been thrashing about all night."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep you awake." Gabrielle turned on her side and kissed him gently to apologize.

"It's alright. I don't think I would have slept much, anyway."

They were quiet for a few minutes as Enjolras twirled a strand of her hair around his finger. Finally, he said quietly, "I'll go secure our place on the afternoon coach first thing this morning, then I'll go and tell Durand everything. I'll be back by ten o'clock and we can leave straight away. You're sure this is what you want?"

"Yes." Gabrielle pressed her lips to his, relieved that they would soon be able to leave this debacle behind them; with any luck, they would soon forget it entirely.

Enjolras moved towards her and deepened the kiss after a moment, pulling and sucking on her bottom lip and gently nipping at her skin with his teeth. He slipped his hands under her flimsy nightgown, caressing her hips and bottom and teasing her breasts. There was a desperation to his touch, a sort of anguished yearning, this morning.

Gabrielle sat up enough to pull the nightgown over her head. She tossed it to the floor and turned back to find Enjolras gazing at her, his eyes dark. His eyes drifted down her body, and he said hungrily, "I need you, Gabrielle."

She smiled and took his hands, guiding them to her breasts. "You have me."

His thumbs ghosted across her nipples, making them harden into peaks, and Enjolras growled low in his throat before pushing her onto her back and lowering his mouth. Gabrielle tangled her hands in his hair and sighed, arching her back as he swirled his tongue and nipped at the sensitive flesh.

Gabrielle felt his erection growing harder against her thigh, and a familiar ache burned low in her stomach, torturing her from the inside out. Enjolras pressed against her, moving his lips to the skin just below her ear, which he knew was her favorite spot to be kissed. Gabrielle lowered her hands to his bottom and squeezed, bringing her legs up and hooking them around his back.

"I love you," he said shakily. "God, how I love you." He sounded almost forlorn, and it made Gabrielle ache. She knew he was angry at himself for speaking to Martin yesterday. Her husband wore his guilt like a blanket, as usual, taking everything upon himself. He was hard on everyone he loved, expecting something akin to perfection almost all the time, but Gabrielle knew Enjolras was hardest on himself.

"I love you, too." Gabrielle took a deep breath, wanting to cry at how badly she wanted him inside of her, how badly she wanted to make him happy. He was holding out, trying to make it last as he gently kissed her jaw. She knew how to get him to relent, however, and reached between them, taking his length in her hand and guiding him to her opening. Enjolras hissed at her touch and bit at her shoulder.

"I need you inside of me, Antoine," Gabrielle whispered. "Please."

Enjolras acquiesced and pushed into her, raising his eyes to meet hers. He looked sorrowful, she noticed, and she pushed his curls from his face, rocking with him.

"Whatever is the matter, forget it," she whispered. "Everything will be alright."

He nodded and held her gaze, thrusting slowly into her. Gabrielle bit her lip and lifted her legs farther, feeling the familiar sparks that usually accompanied their love making. It wasn't enough today, however, and she sighed, gently pushing at his chest after a minute. "Stop...I need...God, I don't know."

She huffed in frustration and Enjolras paused, confused. "Are you alright?"

"Yes. I just...I don't know." Gabrielle pushed at him again and he pulled out of her, moving to sit against the headboard.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked worriedly, and Gabrielle shook her head.

"No! No, it's not you. I need...something." She sat up and moved onto his lap, straddling him. "I need something else..." She knew he usually preferred to be on top, but at this point, she didn't really care. She still ached for him.

He helped her settled herself onto his length, his hands running up and down her back. She slowly moved to take him farther inside of her, gasping at the way he felt from this different vantage point. Gabrielle wrapped her arms around his neck and rolled her hips, her body shuddering.

"Is this better?" he asked, his hands holding her firmly against him.

"Yes. Oh, God..." Gabrielle tightened her grip on his shoulders as she pivoted her hips. She could feel her climax building as she tightened around Enjolras' length.

Enjolras thrust up into her and Gabrielle stifled a scream, burying her face in his neck and pressing her chest against his, loving the way his skin felt against hers. She cried out as she finally came, her hands and body weak and shaking. Enjolras held her tightly for a minute afterwards, pressing his lips against her shoulder, and then gently rolled over, pressing her back against the mattress and settling between her legs in his preferred position.

He thrust roughly into her, moaning her name. Gabrielle was still a bit delirious from her own orgasm, and her limbs felt heavy. She held tightly to his shoulders, and finally, she felt him spill into her. He was sweating from the effort, and their lips met roughly, teeth knocking together, still caught up in their passion.

Enjolras slowly lowered his weight onto Gabrielle, resting his head on her chest as he pulled out of her. He was breathing heavily, and Gabrielle kissed his damp curls, taking his hand and intertwining her fingers with his.

She didn't feel the usual elation that came with making love to him. Instead, she felt almost desperate. Their union hadn't reassured her this time, but made her realize everything she could lose. They had to get out of Paris.

It seemed Enjolras' thoughts were similar, as he whispered, "I was so stupid to talk to him, Gabrielle. I'm so sorry."

"Shh. We've been over this, love, and it's going to be fine." She tried to reassure him, even though she still felt unbelievably scared herself. "We only have a few more hours here, and then we'll be gone, at least for a little while. And it will probably be for nothing. I will have completely over-reacted, you'll see."

"I hope so."

They lay tangled together for a few more hours, until the soft sounds of the city coming alive could be heard outside of the window. Gabrielle talked of other things, trying to ease her husband's worried mind, all the while tracing small circles on his back with her finger. It was the one comfort she could remember of her mother; whenever she couldn't sleep, she would crawl into bed with her parents, her mother would trace circles on her back, and Gabrielle would soon be fast asleep. It seemed to have the same calming effect on Enjolras.

Finally, they could no longer ignore the coming day, and Enjolras raised his head. "I suppose I should be going. Will you pack my things with yours?"

She nodded. "Yes, of course."

Enjolras pulled the sheets back and began to slip out of bed, but Gabrielle caught his arm and pulled him back to her. He smiled and kissed her tenderly, tangling his hands in her hair. She sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry again for being so angry at you yesterday," Gabrielle said after she broke their kiss. "I know you did what you thought was right, and you're only trying to help someone who needs it. That's what I loved about you first, so I can't very well fault you for it now."

"It was still foolish of me," Enjolras said, cradling her cheek in his hand. "I have more than myself to think of now; and not just you, but even Marius and Joly. What if they were implicated, too? And with the baby coming..." Enjolras shook his head and grimaced. "It was rash and stupid of me. I thought I'd learned my lesson about acting impulsively."

"It's going to be fine. The sooner you leave, the sooner you can come back." She pressed her lips to his one more time before finally giving him a gentle shove out of bed and climbing out herself. They dressed quietly, and Enjolras bid her goodbye with a promise to return no later than ten o'clock. Gabrielle watched him leave from the window until he had disappeared on the street, and then busied herself with packing until Sophie arrived to clean the house.

She told her of their plans, leaving out exactly why they were going, and just saying they wanted to surprise Enjolras' mother. Gabrielle soon had everything they needed packed and waiting by the front door, with still an hour to spare until Enjolras' return. She settled down to wait anxiously, and every second and minute that ticked by felt like hours. The time seemed to drag interminably on, but finally, the clock struck ten.

And Enjolras didn't come.

Gabrielle didn't truly begin to worry until about fifteen minutes later. She didn't see any reason for him to be late unless something bad had happened. Still – it was only fifteen minutes. She would wait just a little bit longer before going to Durand's office to look for him herself.

When the clock struck ten-thirty, panic had just begun to set in. Gabrielle paced restlessly, and couldn't seem to catch a breath. She couldn't take waiting anymore, and was just putting on her warm wrap to brave the frigid air when a knock sounded on the door.

Gabrielle closed her eyes at the sound, feeling physically sick. Whatever was waiting on the other side of that door couldn't be good. She knew something was wrong; she could feel it in her bones. Enjolras would have come if he had been able. He wouldn't leave her to worry and wait.

Gabrielle slowly walked to the door and opened it. An older gentleman stood on the other side, a man Gabrielle recognized as a fellow lawyer from Durand's law firm. The doorknob was slippery in her hand, and Gabrielle realized she had broken out in a cold sweat. The man's face was grim.

"Madame Enjolras, I am so sorry to bother you, but...well, my dear, there has been a bit of trouble this morning."

"What happened?" Gabrielle's voice came out weak and unsteady.

The gentleman looked apologetic, obviously upset to be the unfortunate one to deliver this news. "Your husband has been arrested, Madame. For the events in June? Some soldiers came early this morning and waited for him at the office. They let no one leave until he arrived, and we couldn't find a way to get a warning out to stop him from coming. I'm so sorry, Madame Enjolras..."

Gabrielle swayed, feeling faint, and the gentleman reached out to steady her. He helped her into the parlour and Gabrielle sank down onto a chair, her breath coming in short spurts. The man was talking, but Gabrielle had no idea what he was saying. She could hear nothing but the roaring of her own blood in her ears.

Finally, the man kneeled in front of her, looking incredibly concerned, and Gabrielle snapped her eyes to his. "I'm sorry – I can't...what...?"

"Is there someone I can get for you, Madame? Someone to help you?" he asked gently, and Gabrielle slowly nodded.

"I...yes. Can you deliver two letters for me?"

"Of course. It is the least I can do, Madame."

Gabrielle rose unsteadily and went to her desk in the library. She scribbled two hasty notes, one for Marius and one for Joly, and gave them to the man. She didn't know his name, and she didn't care to ask at the moment.

"What should I do, Monsieur? Where should I go? Will they allow me to see my husband?"

"I'm truly not sure, Madame. I know that Monsieur Durand is with him now, and will have the answers you seek as soon as he can. He told me to tell you to stay here. He will come as soon as he has any news."

Gabrielle laughed bitterly. Waiting, again. She thought of the endless night of June 5th, sleeplessly sitting by the window straining to hear any noise from the barricade, thinking of her brother and the other Les Amis, praying to a God she wasn't sure she even believed in. She had felt more and more hopeless and anguished as the night wore on.

She didn't know if she could live through such a wait again.

"Thank you for coming, Monsieur," Gabrielle managed to mumble. "I appreciate your help."

"It's no trouble, Madame Enjolras. I will deliver your letters straight away." He hesitated to leave, glancing around the room. "But will you be alright by yourself?"

Gabrielle nodded and waved him away. "Yes, yes. Please, go do what you can."

He bid her goodbye and left, and Gabrielle sank onto a chair, feeling numb and stupid. She could feel nothing; she knew she should be crying, but it seemed tears wouldn't come. She also couldn't bare to picture Enjolras' face, but everywhere she looked, she seemed to see him, anyway. A horrible, sick feeling was building in her stomach, and she could do nothing but sit and stare at the wall.

Sophie had left already, and Gabrielle was alone in the house. It was so quiet she could hear a pin drop, except for the soft ticking of the clock, which seemed to grow louder every second. The sound seemed to be mocking her.

Eventually, Joly and Musichetta arrived. Gabrielle didn't even hear them knock at the door, but suddenly, they were in the parlour, standing in front of her and trying to disguise their obvious worry. Apparently, her appearance was rather alarming, she gathered, and Musichetta soon had her bundled into bed. Gabrielle didn't even try to protest – in fact, she didn't even speak at all. Every time she tried to form words, she couldn't get them past the lump in her throat.

Musichetta stayed just outside the bedroom door in case she needed anything, and she could hear her and Joly discussing what could have possibly happened in hushed voices. The only thing Gabrielle had written in her note was that Enjolras had been arrested and she needed them. They apparently didn't know anything about Martin at all.

After a little while, though, Gabrielle heard Marius arrive, and he was much more aware of the situation. Gabrielle felt a spark of anger that Enjolras had confided in Marius weeks ago instead of her. And, considering how long Enjolras had known about Martin, his decision to talk to him couldn't have been that impulsive.

Still, none of it seemed to matter. It seemed much more important to just stay buried under the covers, feeling detached and watching things happen. Gabrielle didn't even really feel like herself. The morning after the barricade, she had been filled with a restless energy, an electricity that kept her moving even though the most terrible moments and sights she had ever seen. Now, she was paralyzed and lethargic.

And even though she knew it was still too early to know what would happen, the only thing Gabrielle kept picturing in her mind was Enjolras in front of a firing squad, his body falling limp and helpless to the ground as the guns blazed.

And she didn't know how to stop it.

Gabrielle must have eventually fallen asleep. She awoke to Musichetta gently shaking her shoulders.

"Gabrielle, darling, wake up. Monsieur Durand is here."

Gabrielle groaned as memories of the day came rushing back to her. "It wasn't a horrible dream?" she whispered.

Musichetta shook her head sympathetically. "No. I wish it was. Can I get you anything?"

"No." Gabrielle sat up and took a deep breath. A dull, heavy, boulder had settled in her stomach and she felt sick. "Will you tell Monsieur Durand I will be out in a moment? I need to make myself presentable."

"Yes, of course." Musichetta reached out and squeezed her hand before leaving the bedroom. Gabrielle climbed out of bed, wincing as she caught Enjolras' scent on the pillow next to her. Before she had fallen asleep, she had been numb. Now she couldn't stop feeling and all she wanted to do was cry.

After slipping her dress back on, Gabrielle sat in front of the mirror and fixed her hair. She finally met her own eyes and was appalled at what she saw. She was pale and gaunt. In only a few hours, she seemed to have aged ten years. She looked dull and lifeless, and pinched her cheeks, trying to bring a bit of color to her skin. She didn't want to worry the others more than they already were by her mute performance that morning.

She couldn't let that happen again. It would do her no good, and it would do Enjolras no good, either. She had saved his life once. She could certainly find a way to do it again, couldn't she? She would break him out of prison herself if she had to.

After steeling her nerves, Gabrielle left the bedroom and went into the library, where she could hear soft voices through the door.

Everyone hushed as she entered, their eyes drifting to her sympathetically. Marius rose and took her arm, guiding her to the sofa. He seemed to expect her to fall apart at any moment, but she refused to give him the satisfaction of being right.

"Thank you for coming, Monsieur Durand." She managed a smile and nodded to the older gentleman, who had risen when she entered the room. He sat stiffly, and Gabrielle could sense how grim the situation was, even though he was trying to seem cheerful.

"It is my pleasure to help in any way I can, Gabrielle. I was just explaining to your friends that I've been with your husband all morning, and I now think I understand the particulars of the case. Obviously, Captain Martin went straight to the authorities after Enjolras spoke to him yesterday. I just don't know quite why, considering he is no longer a member of the National Guard."

"You've just told me nothing I don't already know myself," Gabrielle said quietly. "Is there anything else you've discovered today?"

Durand hesitated, then shook his head slowly. "Nothing concrete, no. I haven't been able to speak to Captain Martin. I don't think I will be able to do much of anything until that happens."

"How is my husband?"

Durand sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Angry. At himself, at Martin. And very worried about you, my dear. He feels horrible."

Gabrielle didn't respond, and Joly asked quietly, "Monsieur, what do you think may happen? Do you think you will be able to free Enjolras?"

"I truly don't know. Anything could happen, Monsieur Joly. I'm sure you have all gone over the possible scenarios by now. I can't rule anything out at this point. And," he said gently, with a pointed look at Gabrielle, "you need to be prepared to face the worst, Gabrielle. But please do not lose hope. I know Enjolras will do everything he can to get back to you."

"What can I do to help, Monsieur Durand?" Gabrielle asked confidently. "I am willing to do anything. But please don't ask me to just sit and wait. That I don't think I can take."

Durand smiled sympathetically. "I'm afraid that's all I can ask you to do for now. Keep yourself well so I don't have to lie to your husband. Write to him, and I will try to smuggle your letters in, though I am not supposed to..."

"I can try to find Captain Martin," Gabrielle interrupted. "Perhaps if I try speaking to him, find out why..."

"Gabrielle, I don't know if that's such a good idea." It was Marius' turn to interrupt. "I don't think Enjolras would want you to get yourself in trouble, and going to Martin might not be safe for you. I think you should leave this to Monsieur Durand."

Musichetta glared at Marius and said firmly, "Monsieur Marius, if it was you in prison instead of Enjolras, I am certain that Cosette would be doing everything in her power to set you free. I think Gabrielle has more than proven herself capable of handling pressure. She should do whatever her heart tells her to."

Gabrielle smiled gratefully at Musichetta, and was thankful to see Joly nodding along with her words.

Marius held up his hands placatingly. "I'm just trying to think of what Enjolras would want. And I don't think he should have to worry more knowing that Gabrielle is going after men like Captain Martin." Marius practically spat his name.

"Enjolras will worry about me regardless," Gabrielle reminded him. "And he also knows I am more than capable of taking care of myself. I will do whatever I can to help." She turned back to Durand and asked fearfully, "Will I be allowed to see him?"

Durand slowly shook his head. "No. They will allow no one but me, as they say he is a dangerous man and a threat to the state. Truthfully, he is lucky to be getting a trial at all, and not immediately..."

Durand trailed off, and Gabrielle winced. She knew he had been about to say "executed." Just the word set her hands trembling and she clasped them in her lap.

"I can't thank you enough for helping us, Monsieur," Gabrielle said, and rose to walk Durand to the door. "I will be grateful to you forever."

"Think nothing of it, Gabrielle." Durand leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Genevieve will be by to check on you tomorrow, I'd imagine. Please take care of yourself."

She bid him goodbye and returned to the library where the others were waiting, their expressions grim. Gabrielle took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. "Well. I suppose there is nothing we can do today."

Marius rose and began to put on his coat. "No. But Gabrielle, please send me a message the moment you hear any news. I'll be back tomorrow and I'm also going to help Durand with the case if I can at all. And Cosette sends her love...I wouldn't let her come, I was afraid it would make her too anxious. But she's sorry she can't be here with you."

Gabrielle shook her head and briefly embraced him. "It's alright. Tell her I understand and I hope she is well. I will come see her as soon as I can."

Marius left and Gabrielle sat down next to Musichetta on the sofa. They immediately joined hands, and Gabrielle was grateful for the comfort of a physical touch seeming to anchor her to the earth. Just as Enjolras' hand did so many times in the days after the barricade as she mourned her brother and he his friends...

"Joly, go home and fetch our things. We can't leave Gabrielle here by herself," Musichetta said firmly, and pointed a finger at Gabrielle when she started to protest. "No! I will not hear a word about it, Gabrielle. We will both stay here and help you. Enjolras would never forgive us for leaving you alone at a time like this."

Gabrielle realized how much she didn't want to be alone and felt a rush of intense warmth and gratitude for Musichetta. "Thank you. You're right, I don't want to be by myself right now. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."

Joly left to go pack some of their things and bring them back, and Musichetta turned to Gabrielle once he was gone.

"You can cry, you know. You don't have to be strong in front of me. I would be falling apart right now if I were you."

Gabrielle sighed and closed her eyes, leaning back against the sofa. She felt exhausted, like she had just run a hundred miles. "Believe me, 'Chetta, I would like to cry. I just don't seem able to. Earlier, I couldn't feel anything. Now I can't stop, and it just hurts. Everywhere."

"Come, lets get you back into bed. There's no sense in doing anything else. If you want to wallow for a day, then you shall wallow. We'll figure out what to do tomorrow," Musichetta said sensibly.

Gabrielle followed her into the bedroom and let Musichetta pamper her, brushing her hair comfortingly and tucking the sheets firmly into bed around her. Gabrielle laid awake the entire afternoon, staring at the ceiling, her heart in her throat. But still, tears wouldn't come. Musichetta forced a bit of soup down her throat for dinner, then left her alone again.

As the room darkened, Gabrielle turned on her side, half expecting to see Enjolras lying there beside her. Her heart contracted painfully at the sight of his empty pillow, and she gasped as she inhaled his scent. He was suddenly everywhere, all over her skin and clothes, in her hair, in her mind. Had it really only been since that morning that they'd made love? Since she had kissed him goodbye? It seemed like ages ago already.

She reached out and grabbed his pillow, holding it firmly to her chest. When she had first moved into the de Sauveterre house, she had delighted in having a big, comfortable bed all to herself after sleeping on a narrow cot for years in school. Now, she couldn't remember what it felt like to sleep alone, and the bed seemed cold and enormous without him there next to her. She didn't want to get used to this feeling. She didn't think she could take it.

Finally, the tears came.

Gabrielle cried into her pillow, trying to muffle her sobs, though she knew Musichetta and Joly could probably hear her sounds of distress. They didn't disturb her, however, and eventually, after what seemed like hours, Gabrielle cried herself into a restless sleep.

Aw, man. I'm sorry. I just made things get super dramatic and sad. I apologize! But I hope you enjoyed it, anyway!

So. Aaron Tveit at 54 Below. I know at least ONE of my amazing reviewers is going (I hate you, Britt), but now I don't know if I'll be there or not. I may try to get tickets tomorrow, we'll see.

THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS! Please let me know what you think of this new twist to the story! :)

~A