"Ugh..." Natsu groaned, his head buried in his arms. "The fuck am I gonna do..."
"What is it, man?" Gray sat at the bar stool beside him, downing a glass of beer.
"I fucked up. Lucy's gonna kill me. We forgot the condom."
Gajeel snorted, spitting out his mouthful of alcohol and cracking up in laughter.
"Yeah, you're fucked flame brain." Gray laughed with Gajeel.
"Fuck off, ice princess! You too, Gajeel! I bet you've done the same thing with Levy!" Natsu snapped, glaring at the two.
"Gihi. Nah, unlike you two idiots, I've got a brain."
"Don't lump me in with that pyro!"
"Guys! Seriously! Advice would be great!"
"Have you even done a pregnancy test yet?"
...
"A what?" Natsu blinked, staring at Gajeel as if he'd grown another head.
"You don't know?! Oh god, I feel bad for Lucy!" Gray laughed harder than before, leaning back and falling off his seat.
"It's a stick that you pee on to find out if you're pregnant or not." Gajeel explained.
"I still cant believe you didn't know that..." Gray chuckled, climbing back onto the stool, his shirt and jeans missing.
"Pervert..." Natsu muttered. "Whatever! I'll go get one of those sticks!"
-
"Lucy! We're not pregnant!"
"What?" Lucy looked over at Natsu, who had just emerged from the bathroom.
... Wait. Was he holding a pregnancy test?
"We're not pregnant!" He repeated, rushing over and showing her the negative result.
"... Natsu..." She began, trying to find the right words to explain this without the word 'idiot'.
"I'm not sure you realized this, but... Men don't take pregnancy tests."
Natsu blinked. "Why not?"
"Because women get pregnant. Not men."
"Yeah?"
"So how would you taking a pregnancy test prove I'm not pregnant?"
... Oh.
Realization dawned on Natsu's face.
"I WASTED $15 ON THIS STUPID THING!"