Chapter XXII

By all outward appearances, Gabrielle seemed to be coping well. She didn't allow herself to wallow for more than the first day, and forced herself out of bed every morning. Her charitable duties didn't suffer, either, and she appeared each evening at the church as usual, though the smell of the food was almost too much for her constantly upset stomach. Even though she looked fine, her nerves were frayed, her stomach constantly churning in worry, her back ached, and a headache had settled in her right temple and hadn't gone away in days.

She was absolutely miserable. At least during the day, Gabrielle had things to occupy her time. She slept late, since she usually laid awake half the night worrying, had a visit with Durand in the afternoon, went to church to serve the nightly meal, and then had Musichetta and Joly keep her company in the evening. She was only really alone once she crawled into bed, and that was the worst time of day. As much as Enjolras' scent had tortured her the first night, now almost a week into his confinement, it was fading from his pillow, and that terrified Gabrielle. What would happen if he never returned? Would she be expected to just get rid of his things and move on with her life? Would it eventually be as if he never existed? They had really only been together so briefly, that if she were to never see him again, someday, it could all seem like nothing more than a dream.

Everything had turned into such a nightmare so quickly, sometimes she still expected to wake up and see him next to her. Her heart broke a little bit more every time she realized he wasn't there. A few days ago, Genevieve stopped by in the afternoon with a letter from Enjolras; apparently, Durand was off chasing down Martin and didn't have time for his usual update to Gabrielle. She supposed that was a good thing, until she read the letter.

Enjolras wrote beautifully, deep and profound words of love to her that made her throat constrict painfully and her heart pound against her chest. Gabrielle needed to touch him so badly it made her ache; nothing she had ever experienced had caused her such pain before. She had tried to hold herself together, but after reading the letter over twice, she had burst into tears and thrust it at Musichetta, who then burst into tears herself after reading it. He sounded like a condemned man, convinced he was going to die.

The letter was now tucked safely away in Enjolras' favorite book, high on a shelf that Gabrielle couldn't reach. She didn't want to be tempted to read it too often; if those were his last words to her, they needed to be kept safe and not ruined by her grimy hands and tears.

A week after Enjolras' arrest, Marie arrived, and Gabrielle had never been happier to see anyone in her life. Marie was calm and confident, restoring an order of peace to the house that had been missing with her son. If she was scared, she let no one know, and began to take care of Gabrielle right away. Musichetta continued to stay, as well, at Gabrielle's request, though Joly went back to the apartment.

Marie gently shook Gabrielle awake on the morning of the ninth day, quite earlier than usual, and her eyes were bright.

"Gabrielle? Monsieur Durand is here. He says he has some news."

"What kind of news?" Gabrielle muttered, still groggy. "Good or bad?"

"I think good. He doesn't seem upset. Come, let me help you."

Marie helped Gabrielle dress and fix her hair, and both women went to meet Durand in the library. Musichetta was already gone for the day.

"Good morning, Monsieur. It's been a few days since you stopped by." Gabrielle shook Durand's hand and they sat. She studied him for any signs that the news he brought was bad, but couldn't really tell one way or the other.

"I apologize for my recent absence, Gabrielle. But there are several things we need to talk about today. First of all," Durand began, "A date has been set for a trial. They are certainly wasting no time – it usually takes months, but Enjolras' date is set for three weeks from tomorrow. It seems they are certain of his guilt and don't want this to be prolonged."

"Is that good or bad?" Gabrielle asked uncertainly.

"Good, now that I have found Martin." Durand smiled confidently.

Gabrielle sighed in relief and leaned forward. "And?"

"He is a very unhappy man," Durand said thoughtfully. "Enjolras is quite good at reading people, and he sensed from the start that something was not quite right about Martin. He is correct, though I don't know what it is yet. The man is understandably reluctant to talk to me, but did not refuse to see me when I knocked on his door."

"But he didn't say anything helpful?"

"No, not exactly. But he was willing to listen, and that is something. I believe he will talk eventually. He just needs to be gently persuaded. I think he is scared, and not at all happy with what has become of his life since he was discharged from the National Guard. I think everything he has done hinges around that and I need to find out why that happened."

Marie finally spoke up. "You sound very hopeful, Monsieur Durand, but I'm having trouble seeing how this man can help my son if Martin isn't yet willing to talk, especially with his trial coming up so soon."

"Well..." Durand hesitated, then said quietly, "I do have some other witnesses. I am hesitant to use them, because what they are willing to say for Enjolras is all a complete lie. But they are willing to do it, and I may have to take them up on their offer."

Gabrielle was confused. "Who are these witnesses, Monsieur Durand?"

"Other students at the university, young men who knew Enjolras, who listened to him speak at rallies, and sometimes attended his meetings. A few of them came to me when they heard he had been arrested, wanting to know what they could do to help. Apparently, they were too scared to join the rebellion in June and have felt guilty about it since. They are willing to say that Enjolras is not the man they think he is, that he was just an ordinary student and had no part in any revolutionary ideas at all."

Gabrielle sat quietly for a moment, thinking through what Durand said. "But they would be lying in a court of law. Do they understand the risk they would be taking?"

"Yes, they do. I explained it to them very thoroughly and they are still willing to do it should the need arise. And I have a feeling it will."

Gabrielle looked at Marie, who seemed lost in thought herself. She didn't want to put anyone else in danger to save Enjolras, but at the same time, what else could they do? The only way he would be released is if the authorities truly believed they had the wrong man.

"Will their word alone be enough, even without Martin? I am assuming you want to try and convince him to lie, too?" Gabrielle surmised.

"My dear," Durand said gently, "Even with Martin, I don't know if it will be enough. But it may put just enough doubt into their minds. And once that doubt hits the newspapers...well, they may want to avoid the uproar executing an innocent man may cause. But I do believe Martin could very much help us."

"Can I speak to him?" Gabrielle asked suddenly. "Perhaps I could convince him."

"Gabrielle, that may not be a good idea," Marie said, frowning. "Shouldn't we stay out of this and let those who know what they're doing do their job?"

"I can't sit idly by anymore," Gabrielle said vehemently. "If there's something I can do, I must do it. Monsieur Durand, please."

Durand gazed at her for a moment, then sighed and nodded. "Your husband has been urging me to let you help, actually. He knows you well, Gabrielle. I don't think it would be a bad thing for you to see Martin. He seems to be so conflicted, that perhaps if he sees what Enjolras would be leaving behind, he would be more inclined to help. Telling him your story might haunt him, appeal to his humanity..."

"I'll do it. When?"

"We need to give it a few days," Durand said gently. "I just spoke with him yesterday, and was quite forceful. I don't want to scare him off by sending you to him too soon. Perhaps in a few days, if you can be patient?"

Gabrielle sighed. She had been prepared to get up and flee the house that instant. "If you think that's better."

"I do. Why don't you begin to prepare what you would like to say to him, and when I next come, I can look it over? I think it is better if you go in with a plan, don't you?"

Gabrielle nodded slowly. "Yes, I suppose that's a good idea. Thank you, Monsieur, for allowing me to do this. And when you see my husband, tell him thank you, as well. It is nice to know he believes in me."

Durand smiled as he rose. "His spirits seem to be better the last few days, though he is anxious to see you." Durand turned to Marie and shook her hand. "Madame, it was nice seeing you again today. I am glad you are here to help, as well."

Marie managed a smile and nodded. "Yes, well. I will certainly be happier once this is all over and my son is back home where he belongs. Thank you for all of the work you are doing to help him, Monsieur Durand."

Gabrielle saw Durand out and then went back to the library, sitting down with a sigh across from Marie.

"Well...considering we've had no real news for a week, at least we know a little bit of what is going on now. Everything is still so uncertain, but I feel a bit more hopeful." Gabrielle reached out to squeeze Marie's hand, noticing that she looked anxious.

"Gabrielle, do you really intend to appeal to this Captain Martin?"

Gabrielle nodded, puzzled. "Of course. Why wouldn't I? I am sure that as a woman, I can appeal to his emotions much better than Durand can. If I make him feel bad enough, perhaps he can be convinced to help us."

"You don't think it will put you in any danger?"

"No. I don't see why it would. Martin isn't dangerous, and I'll only be talking to him. And I'm sure Durand will be close by, if not right there with me. Maman, if there is even the smallest chance it could help Antoine, why wouldn't I do it?"

Marie gazed out the window and said quietly, "You're right, of course. You know, Gabrielle, I spent over twenty-five years with my husband, and losing him still hurts every day. I don't want that pain for you. And for me...well, the only thing worse than losing my husband would be losing my child."

"You won't lose him," Gabrielle said firmly. "We have to start believing he is going to come home. If I don't, I don't think I can make it through another day."

Gabrielle was getting tired of waiting. She wanted to speak to Martin as soon as possible, but Durand kept putting it off. It was now over two weeks since Enjolras' arrest, and only about twelve days until his trial. She felt like she was running out of time. Or, more accurately, like Enjolras was running out of time.

Her appeal to Martin was prepared and edited by Durand. She just needed a chance to use it. It was temping to try and track Martin down herself, without Durand's permission. What in the world was he waiting for?

Gabrielle was so anxious, she hadn't been able to keep any food down for days. She had lost a bit of weight due to her lack of appetite and the stress she felt. Just the sight of food was too much lately.

When Gabrielle awoke one morning to the smell of breakfast cooking, she was immediately sick. It wasn't the first time the smell of food had made her vomit in the last few days. She barely made it over to the washbasin before her stomach heaved, emptying itself of its already meager contents. Gabrielle felt lightheaded and dizzy, and stood huddled over the dresser. Her body was trembling and she willed herself not to be sick again.

"Gabrielle?" Marie suddenly appeared at her side and pushed the hair back from her face. "Are you sick, dear?"

"Yes," Gabrielle mumbled. "When I smelled breakfast, it was just too much. I haven't been able to keep anything down for a while now. I've made myself sick with worry." Gabrielle reached for a towel and wiped her forehead. Her skin felt clammy. "Marie, please, open the windows, the smell is still bothering me. I don't care about the cold."

Marie searched her face for a moment, then crossed to the two windows in the room and opened them widely. Gabrielle stuck her head out the window, inhaling the fresh air. It helped a little bit and she breathed deeply, accepting the glass of water Marie handed to her.

"Have you had any other symptoms?" Marie asked, and Gabrielle thought she sounded strange. Marie's face was carefully blank.

"I suppose," Gabrielle said cautiously. "I've been a little dizzy lately, had a constant headache, and I'm exhausted. I feel like I could sleep for weeks." She took another deep breath, her head clearing a bit. "I thought I was just making myself sick, but maybe I've actually come down with something."

Marie shifted from foot to foot, studying her closely. "You look a bit different to me," Marie said quietly, and Gabrielle raised her eyebrows, feeling a bit insulted at Marie's pointing out how sick she looked.

"I know, I must look horrible...I haven't been sleeping well, no matter how tired I feel. I promise I'm trying to take care of myself, Marie."

"No, it's not that," Marie said gently, and took her arm, guiding her to the bed. "Gabrielle, dear, are you sure those are the only symptoms you've had?"

Gabrielle looked at her strangely, tilting her head. "What are you trying to ask?"

Marie's eyes drifted not so subtly to Gabrielle's breasts and she said frankly, "Gabrielle, I've wondered over the last few days because...you look...bigger. When I was pregnant with Antoine, that was the first thing I noticed. And they hurt a bit, too. Have you felt anything like that?"

Gabrielle froze, staring at Marie in shock. "What?"

"Please don't be afraid to tell me, Gabrielle," Marie pressed kindly. "I've wondered since I first arrived, noticing everything that was happening with you: your fatigue, your headache, you said your back hurt, the way you've been avoiding food. All of the signs were there...are you expecting a baby, darling?"

Gabrielle's mouth fell open in shock. "What?! No!"

Marie took her hand and pressed gently. "Are you certain?"

"Absolutely not! I would know if I..." Gabrielle's voice trailed off as she realized with horror that she probably wouldn't actually know. She had no idea what signs to look for. No one had ever told her. The only reason she even knew how babies came about is because of overhearing the other girls at school.

"Or...I...oh, Marie, I don't know! I have no idea! I can't be!" Her voice rose hysterically.

Marie wrapped her arms around Gabrielle's shoulders, surprised at her reaction. "Shhh, Gabrielle. It's alright! Lets think rationally. When did you bleed last? Are you supposed to start soon? That's the best way to tell."

Gabrielle closed her eyes, trying to remember. With everything that had happened, that had been the farthest thing from her mind. She thought back to the last time she remembered, and counted forward, her stomach dropping when she realized. "Oh, God...Marie. It should have been two weeks ago. I didn't...I didn't even think. I forgot, with everything happening."

Marie pulled back and looked at her evenly. Gabrielle could see in her eyes that Marie was fairly certain she was pregnant. Gabrielle found it hard to be hysterical in the face of such reassuring calm, though her hands were shaking.

"So you're feeling ill, smells are bothering you, you have a headache, are dizzy, and you've missed your cycle..."

"And my breasts do feel...different," Gabrielle admitted softly. "They've been hurting. I didn't know why, I didn't really think anything of it. I didn't know what to look for, no one has ever told me." Her eyes filled with tears. "Marie, am I pregnant?"

"I think so, my dear, but perhaps we should have a doctor examine you. They may be able to tell, depending on how far along you are."

Gabrielle closed her eyes, fighting rising waves of panic. "Marie, this can't be happening. It can't."

"It is," Marie said firmly, and helped Gabrielle stand, pulling back the covers on the bed once more. "And you are not going to panic, Gabrielle. It will do you no good. You are going to face this, and be strong, and we will figure out what to do. But we will not become hysterical. Do you understand?"

Gabrielle finally nodded, trying to take deep breaths to calm her racing heart. She felt like she was seeing through a fog. "Yes...I think so."

"Good. Now, since you're not feeling well, lets get you back into bed for a little while. Is there a particular doctor you would like to see? I know Monsieur Joly is a doctor, but being Antoine's good friend...would it be uncomfortable for you?"

Gabrielle laid back down, burrowing under the covers. She didn't know how she felt about Joly examining her, but at least she trusted him. "I suppose I don't mind. You can send for him. And thank you, Marie, for helping me."

Marie sat on the edge of the bed and held Gabrielle's hand, smiling softly. "You know I don't mind, Gabrielle. I'm happy to be here for you. Now try and go back to sleep." Marie began humming a soft tune and Gabrielle closed her eyes, refusing to think about anything but the blissful oblivion of sleep.

She awoke in a few hours to a soft knock on her bedroom door. She rose, made herself presentable, and opened it to find an awkward looking Joly on the other side.

"How are you, Gabrielle?" he asked softly, and Gabrielle opened the door to let him into the bedroom.

"I could be better," she said softly. "Did Marie tell you why you're here?"

"Yes." Joly put his things down and looked at her for a moment before speaking. "Are you sure you want me to examine you?"

"Yes. Although," she admitted, "I think I know. I had no idea before Marie said something, but now it just makes sense..."

"Well, there's nothing wrong in knowing for certain. I'll need you to lie down on the bed, Gabrielle."

Gabrielle did as Joly asked and was silent as he examined her.

"Marie said you've had several symptoms?" Joly asked.

Gabrielle ran through the list and then added, blushing, "And...I should have had my cycle at least two weeks ago. I haven't." When Joly was finished, Gabrielle sat up and looked at him anxiously. "Well?"

"I do think you're expecting, Gabrielle," he said quietly. "So I suppose congratulations are in order?" She could tell he wasn't sure whether she thought this was good or bad news.

"Under the circumstances, I don't think so," she mumbled. Gabrielle stared at the floor. "But even under normal circumstances, I wouldn't think so."

Joly frowned and looked uncomfortable, but said kindly, "Now, Gabrielle...Enjolras might say he doesn't want children, but once he finds out, I'm sure he'll feel differently."

Gabrielle rose and touched Joly's arm. "Thank you for trying to make me feel better, and for coming. Please don't say anything to anyone?"

"Of course not."

Gabrielle and Joly walked out of the bedroom to find Marie waiting in the hall. Gabrielle nodded at her in affirmation and Marie couldn't contain the happy smile that spread across her face. When she saw Gabrielle's look of distress, however, she stopped smiling. Gabrielle said goodbye to Joly and turned to face Marie.

"How can you be happy about this?" she asked incredulously. "My husband is in prison and I am expecting a baby that he will not want." Gabrielle bit her lip, blinking back tears. She had voiced what was really bothering her, and it made the fear seem even bigger and more significant. "He doesn't want children. He's told me so. And he isn't even here...what if...what if I have to do this on my own?" Gabrielle asked fearfully.

Marie reached out and embraced Gabrielle, holding her tightly. "First of all, Gabrielle, Antoine loves you. He will continue to love you. I know he said he doesn't want children, but there is absolutely nothing he can do about this now. He will love your child. It isn't in his nature to run from things he is scared of, and that is all his reluctance is – fear."

"Do you really think so?" Gabrielle whispered.

"Yes, I really think so," Marie said quietly. "And, most importantly, you will not do this on your own. Antoine will be here with you in just a few weeks. And we can keep this quiet until then, if you wish. I'm afraid finding this out now would only cause him more pain."

Gabrielle nodded. "Of course. I don't think he should know..."

"Do you know when...well, when it happened?" Marie asked curiously.

Gabrielle blushed. She and Enjolras had been together almost every day, sometimes more than once. She supposed that would be over, too, even if they did manage to get him out of prison. That thought alone almost killed her; she had never felt closer to anyone than when they were making love. Would he even want her now, or find her attractive?

"I'm really not sure. It must have been at least two weeks ago. More, really...maybe three or four? Could it be even more than that?" Gabrielle wondered. She really wasn't sure how all of this worked and felt quite foolish.

"Yes, it could be. Well, it's soon enough that you won't be able to tell for a while. You can keep it a secret as long as you need to, Gabrielle, and tell Antoine after he comes home."

Gabrielle liked that plan; it meant she could spend a little longer in denial if she needed to.

For the rest of the day, Gabrielle felt listless. She had accepted that she was pregnant. She knew it...yet she didn't feel it. She had no connection to the growing life inside of her, and could barely even comprehend that it was really there at all. She told Musichetta that evening, since Joly knew, and 'Chetta had an appropriately horrified reaction. She knew how both Gabrielle and Enjolras felt about having children, and understood that even on top of that, the timing couldn't possibly be worse. It made Gabrielle feel better to know it scared Musichetta, too, like she wasn't a horrible person for feeling absolutely terrified. Musichetta didn't judge her for not being happy, and Gabrielle was unbelievably grateful.

She didn't know how she could possibly face Cosette any time soon and see her glowing countenance. It would be like torture.

The next day, however, Durand stopped by with good news, which Gabrielle desperately needed. He wanted her to talk to Martin as soon as possible. He knew the man was home, after disappearing for quite some time, and he didn't want Martin to get away again.

Gabrielle prepared herself as best she could. She knew what she needed to say, and she knew that now, more than ever, she needed Enjolras by her side. She would do whatever it took.

So, yeah. I did that there. Hope you all don't hate me or find it super cliche. I'd love to know what you lurkers and followers that aren't reviewing think, too - I know you're out there! I see the numbers! :)

I realized last night that this story has literally taken over my life. I was in a friend's wedding, singing "At Last" for the first dance, and planning the next chapter in my head as that was all going on. HA That's so pathetic!

Also, I'm really close to 200 reviews. PLEASE review and get me there. I've only had one other story hit that mark before and it feels really cool! Thanks for reading and hope you liked it. :)

~A