Chapter XXVI

The streets were crowded in the early morning, but Gabrielle paid no attention to the throngs of people as she made her way to Musichetta's apartment. For the first time in their marriage, she woke before Enjolras, and immediately needed to get out of the house. She couldn't bear to face him after the things he said last night - and they weren't even that bad. He was only trying to be honest with her.

It had broken her heart just the same, and convinced her even more that everything was going to change between them once he found out she was pregnant. This baby was clearly something he didn't want, and despite what he had said last night about perhaps having children in a few years, he might never really change his mind.

Gabrielle soon found herself in front of Musichetta's door. She raised her hand and knocked softly, knowing Musichetta and Joly were probably still asleep. She knocked again when no one answered the first time, a little bit louder than before, and soon found a sleepy-eyed Musichetta standing before her.

"Gabrielle! What are you doing here so early? Is everything alright?" Musichetta drew her dressing gown closed around her and beckoned Gabrielle into the apartment.

"I know I woke you. I'm so sorry," Gabrielle apologized. "I just...I need someone to talk to..."

Musichetta took Gabrielle's arm and sat her down at the table. She began to make tea and soon put a steaming cup in front of Gabrielle. "It's no trouble. What happened? Is Enjolras alright?"

"Everything is fine, really," Gabrielle said. "I don't know why I'm so upset...I'm probably making things worse than they really are. There's no good reason for me to want to cry all the time, but I do, and then the next instant I feel just fine. It's silly of me to be bothering you like this."

"Tell me anyway," Musichetta said kindly.

"Cosette had the baby yesterday. I was there with her."

"Did she?! No wonder Joly didn't hear from Marius. We'll have to send a note today. How are they? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"It's a boy, and he's absolutely perfect. Cosette is fine. She did really wonderfully, even though it seemed horribly painful. And Musichetta, it was..." Gabrielle struggled for words, gesturing with her hands. "I mean...I was so terrified, at first, knowing I'm going to go through that in a few months. But..."

Musichetta smiled knowingly. "There's something a little bit magical about it, isn't there? Seeing another life come into the world?"

"Yes! I didn't know it would be like that, that it would move me so much..." Gabrielle's eyes filled with tears as she realized her hands were clasped protectively over her stomach. "For the first time, I wasn't filled with dread when I thought about my baby. It didn't seem so horrible, I felt happy to be pregnant. It seemed..."

"Like maybe you want your baby?" Musichetta offered gently.

"Yes. For a while, I thought so. And then Enjolras, he..." Gabrielle trailed off, but began again after another gentle nudge from Musichetta. "Then he went and gave me a long speech about how he could tell I suddenly wanted one, and that it just wasn't the right time, but we could have a family in a few years..."

Musichetta raised her eyebrows, looking thoughtful. "So, let me make sure I understand. Enjolras went from saying that he didn't want children at all to telling you, as soon as you even acted like you wanted a baby, that it was something you would do in a few years?"

"Yes. He said there was no way we could do it right now..."

Musichetta laughed and looked at her pointedly. "Well, of course he did, Gabrielle. He doesn't know that it's already happening or he never would have said any of that. And, love, if you weren't already pregnant, would you want to do it right now, either?"

"I...no, of course not," Gabrielle admitted.

"Gabrielle, believe me, I know that your emotions are everywhere right now. That's what being with child does to you. But, darling, listen to what you're saying and think about what he said. He gave into you before you even said a thing. He read you like an open book. And he changed his mind just to make you happy. If you asked Enjolras for the moon, I think he would try and figure out a way to get it for you."

Gabrielle stared at the table, wondering if what Musichetta said was true. "So you...you think he won't be mad when he finds out?"

"No, I don't think he'll be mad. I think he'll be shocked and more than a little apprehensive. I certainly don't think you should expect him to run through the streets shouting about it like Marius did, but I think once Enjolras accepts it, he's going to realize he will love your child as much as he loves you, whether this was planned and welcomed or not."

Gabrielle suddenly burst into tears, dramatically burying her face in her arms on the tabletop. "He's so good to me. He's such a good man. He will be a good father! But I don't know the first thing about being a mother, 'Chetta! How can I possibly raise a child?!" she wailed.

Musichetta scooted her chair closer and wrapped her arms around Gabrielle's shoulders. Gabrielle would have been amused to notice Joly step out of the bedroom, but instantly retreat at the tearful sight before him; however, she was much too wrapped up in her distress to notice the glare Musichetta gave him.

"Gabrielle, I want to tell you a story," Musichetta said softly. "But you have to calm down first so I know you're really listening."

"A story about what?"

"About me. Something very few people know. Exactly one living person, as a matter of fact."

Gabrielle's tears stopped out of sheer curiosity. "About you? And Joly is the only one who knows?"

Musichetta smiled. "Well, now you will, too. And maybe it will help you appreciate what you've been given."

Gabrielle frowned and took Musichetta's hand. "It sounds like this isn't a very happy story, 'Chetta. If it pains you to talk about it, you don't have to tell me."

"It's both happy and sad." Musichetta took a deep breath and began quietly, "I come from a very wealthy family, Gabrielle. I grew up with everything I ever wanted, I was horribly spoiled and selfish...and, of course, I thought I knew everything. I fell in love with a young man when I was seventeen, and he was not the boy my family wanted me to marry. How I loved him, though!" Musichetta smiled in remembrance.

"What happened?" Gabrielle asked.

"I slept with him, of course. I thought he would marry me. I thought he cared only for me and my happiness. I was wrong, as young girls usually are about that sort of thing." Musichetta smiled bitterly. "And then, nine long months later, I gave birth to a baby girl."

Gabrielle straightened, her eyes wide. "I...'Chetta! I had no idea!"

Musichetta shrugged and took a deep breath before beginning again. "Yes, well...like I said, I don't talk about it often. Or ever."

"Where is she now?" Gabrielle whispered. "Your daughter, I mean?"

"She died." Gabrielle could hear the pain in Musichetta's voice. "When she was two. Her name was Sophie. She would be eight years old right now if she were still alive."

Gabrielle didn't know what to say. She had never suspected that Musichetta had such a painful past. She was always so happy, ready to laugh and joke and have a good time.

"Gabrielle, the reason I'm telling you this is simple," Musichetta said gently. "I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant. My parents disowned me. They tossed me out onto the street like I was nothing, and as far as I know, they've completely forgotten I ever existed. I came to Paris and started to take in laundry to try and make a living. It was terribly difficult, and I lived in squalor, but I managed, all the while dreading the day my baby would be born. I had no idea what to do, and I was alone."

"How did you manage?" Gabrielle whispered, feeling horrified. Her situation suddenly seemed trivial in the face of what Musichetta had gone through. She couldn't even imagine being strong enough to make it through such a situation.

"I did what I had to," Musichetta shrugged. "But that isn't why I'm telling you this. I'm telling you because, Gabrielle, I was terrified to give birth to my daughter. Her delivery was hard and exhausting. I was in labor for nearly a day, with only a neighbor to help me, and it was the most horrific pain I've ever gone though. I remember screaming and cursing God, and myself, her father, my parents...but then, at the end of it, she was in my arms. I heard her cry, and suddenly, it was the most beautiful thing in the world. It was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard. It's impossible to describe the love I felt for her, Gabrielle. You can't possibly know it until it happens to you. But I knew as soon as I looked at her that being her mother was the most important thing I could ever be. And the two years I was given with her were the happiest of my life. I would trade anything, even my own life, to bring her back."

Gabrielle swallowed around the lump in her throat. What Musichetta said was hard to process. "I'm so sorry, Musichetta. How did she die?"

"She got sick. It was summer, terribly hot out, and one night she developed a fever. I couldn't afford a doctor. I did everything I could, but she slipped away. Life is precarious even at the best of times."

Musichetta took a deep breath, fighting back tears, and continued softly, "I was there when she took her first breath and when she took her last. And I would change nothing, nothing, about my past, Gabrielle, except to keep her alive. Being her mother was the most amazing gift I've ever been given."

Musichetta reached out and gently laid her hand on Gabrielle's stomach, forcing a tearful smile. "Don't waste this time worrying, Gabrielle. The moment you feel your baby move inside of you, you're going to understand. There is a little soul in your care now, and it will not be hard to fall in love with it. You just need to let yourself, and the rest will come to you."

Gabrielle laid her hand over Musichetta's and closed her eyes, feeling like an absolute fool. "God, you must hate me," she muttered. "Here I've been complaining and weeping like an idiot...you must have wanted to shake me so many times. I'm so sorry."

"It's alright, Gabrielle. I've accepted what happened. I think about my daughter every day, practically every moment, and I constantly miss her. But I can't change the past. I can only try to be happy now. I just don't want you to waste what could be such a happy time for you and Enjolras. You're going to be a wonderful, loving mother, Gabrielle. I truly believe that."

Gabrielle threw her arms around Musichetta and squeezed tightly. "Oh, 'Chetta, thank you. What would I do without you?"

"You'd be quite lost, of course."

Gabrielle walked home slowly, completely lost in thought. Her hand never left her stomach; the thoughts she had been having suddenly seemed horrific and cruel, considering how desperately Musichetta missed her own child. Had Gabrielle really ever considered trying to end the life of this little person growing inside of her? She could never. How selfish she was to even consider it. This baby deserved the life that she and Enjolras could give it.

Gabrielle wondered if she had avoided telling Enjolras for so long more out of her own fear than his. But it all seemed very clear now – she wanted this child, and she did already love it. How could she not? It was his. For the first time, Gabrielle tried to picture what their child might look like. And would it be a boy or a girl?

Girl, Gabrielle thought suddenly. She had no idea where the feeling came from, but a firm intuition told her so. Maybe it was just Musichetta's story of little Sophie.

'Chetta is the strongest person I know, Gabrielle thought, next to my husband...

Her pace quickened as she neared home and by the time she turned onto their street, she was practically running. She burst into the house to see Enjolras in the hallway heading for the door, a stormy expression on his face, and Marie hot on his heels.

Enjolras stopped in his tracks and stared at Gabrielle, relief washing over his face.

"Where were you?" he demanded. "I woke up and you were gone! You didn't leave a note. It's been hours, Gabrielle!" He sounded angry, worried, and relieved all at once.

"Hours? I didn't realize..." she sighed and took a step toward him, holding out her hand. "I just needed to get out for a while. I'm sorry I was gone for so long."

Enjolras looked at her incredulously, obviously frustrated. "What is wrong, Gabrielle? What in the world did I do to make you so upset?"

Marie suddenly stepped around them and cleared her throat. "Well! I'll be leaving for a while. Give you two a chance to talk." She patted Gabrielle's shoulder and gave her a pointed and slightly exasperated look that clearly said Tell him before she left the house.

Gabrielle looked at Enjolras and offered a tiny, apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Antoine. I didn't even think about you being worried to wake and find me gone. And I'm not upset anymore. Musichetta talked some sense into me."

Enjolras reached forward and drew her to him, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Well, good...I don't like fighting with you. But why were you so angry in the first place? I don't understand. I barely said anything last night. Did I say something wrong?"

"No." Gabrielle sighed and gently brushed her lips against his. "But we need to talk, Antoine. There's something I need to tell you, that I should have told you straight-away when you got home..."

She had never seen him look more confused, and her words were clearly not doing anything to ease his anxiety. "Is something wrong? Are you sick?"

"No. Come, we should sit down." Gabrielle took his hand and led him into the library, sitting down on their favorite sofa. Enjolras was clearly confused and worried, his lips set in a white line and his brow furrowed. He looked at her expectantly. She wasn't acting like herself, and he knew it.

Gabrielle kept his hand in her own and opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She clamped her lips together and closed her eyes, wincing a bit. She wasn't sure how to begin. She should have planned some sort of speech while she was out wandering.

"Gabrielle," Enjolras said sternly. "You're scaring me. Whatever it is, please just say it."

Gabrielle opened her eyes and searched his face. Just say it! she urged herself. She forced the words out, and said a little louder than intended and very abruptly, "Antoine, I'm pregnant."

It felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She let out a deep breath and said it again, softer this time. "I'm pregnant. I'm going to have a baby."

Enjolras stared at her, his expression unchanging. Gabrielle watched him carefully, and after a minute of sheer silence, she whispered uncertainly, "Antoine? Are you alright? I know you're upset. You've made it perfectly clear you don't really want children, especially right now, but...well, it's done. There's really nothing I can do about it now, and I know it's a shock, but..." she shrugged and bit her lip, unsure of what else to say.

"How...how..." he sputtered. His expression didn't change, but his voice was shaky.

"How did it happen? Well, really, darling, you must know that..."

Enjolras rolled his eyes and seemed to shake himself out of the stupor he'd been in. "No. I mean, how long...how long have you known?"

"Oh. Well." Gabrielle cleared her throat and looked down at the floor, a bit ashamed to admit how long she had avoided this conversation. "For weeks now. Since you were in prison. I think it was the end of February when I realized. Well, when your mother realized, really..."

Enjolras blanched, dropping her hand and leaning over. He put his head between his knees and his hands grasped the edge of sofa until his knuckles turned white. "Jesus, I think I'm going to be sick," he mumbled.

Gabrielle winced and reached out to gently rub his back. Enjolras was breathing quickly, clearly panicking, and Gabrielle didn't really know what to do or say. So she just sat, lightly running her hand up and down his spine, and after a few minutes that seemed like hours to both of them, his breathing finally returned to normal. He rested his head on his hands, still leaning forward and clearly distraught.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Gabrielle raised her eyebrows, thinking it a bit obvious, considering his current reaction. "Well, you were in prison. I couldn't bear to tell you then, and make you worry about one more thing. And, if things turned out badly..." Gabrielle sighed and blinked back tears. "I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to die with that burden..."

Enjolras turned his head to look at her, his eyes anguished. "And then? I've been home for two weeks, Gabrielle. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I knew you would be upset. I was scared. I thought you might leave, or be angry, or not treat me the same. I was afraid everything between us would change, when we had been so happy and..." Gabrielle tried to keep her voice steady, but her face crumbled and she turned away, trying to hide it from him.

Enjolras quickly wrapped his arms around her and pressed his lips to her hair. "Gabrielle! How can you think so little of me? I love you. Nothing will ever change that," he said fiercely, and Gabrielle felt relief rush over her as she clung to him.

"But you don't want a child," she whispered into his shoulder. "You've said so. And I'm so sorry that this happened, that this will complicate our lives when things were so good. And you've been so happy and excited about the orphanage. I'm sorry."

Enjolras pulled away to look at her and said firmly, "Stop it. Stop apologizing, as if this is your fault. It isn't. It just...happened."

"But I know you aren't happy."

"I don't care about me right now, Gabrielle," he interrupted. "I want to know you feel."

"Oh. Well." She pulled away to compose herself and thought of everything that Musichetta said that morning, of the things she had realized as she made her way home. "I wasn't happy at all at first," she began slowly. "I thought about trying to end it, but Musichetta said it was much too dangerous. I didn't feel anything but dread for so long. And I was terrified. Well, I still am a bit terrified."

"But?" Enjolras asked quietly, watching her carefully.

"But then yesterday, when Jean was born, I don't know what happened. It was incredible to see his birth...to see a little life come into the world. And suddenly, I was excited, and happy, and it seemed like a miracle." Gabrielle clasped her hands over her stomach again and said passionately, "I want this baby. I don't know the first thing about being a mother or taking care of a baby, but I already love it, Antoine, because it's yours and I love you."

Once the words left her mouth, Gabrielle knew they were true. Everything seemed clearer now.

Enjolras didn't speak for a long while, and Gabrielle was patient. She remembered how shocked and horrified she felt when she first found out, and it was probably even worse for him. After a while, however, she grew tired of his blank stare and said quietly, "Antoine? I know you're upset. I understand, and it's alright. But I know that you're going to be a wonderful father."

His eyes found hers and Enjolras suddenly let out a bark of almost hysterical laughter. "That sounds absolutely absurd. I never, and I mean never, thought..." He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, and said contemplatively, "But then again, I never thought I would be married and fall in love, either."

"And in that order," Gabrielle reminded him. Their eyes met again, and his icy blue gaze grew softer.

"You're really happy?" he asked.

She nodded. "I am. I only just realized it, but I am. It isn't the baby's fault that we didn't plan this. She deserves to be as loved as little Jean is."

"She?" Enjolras gaped. "How do you know?"

"Oh, I don't!" Gabrielle smiled and shrugged. "I just had the strangest feeling today about it...but, of course, I don't know. Would you prefer a boy?"

Enjolras' eyes widened and he shook his head, looking dumbstruck. "I...I have no idea. I've never thought about it." He stood and crossed to the window, looking lost in thought.

Gabrielle was silent again, letting him process everything at his own speed. When he finally turned around, he looked calmer. The color was back in his face and his eyes didn't look like those of a trapped animal. "When is the baby due?" he asked quietly.

"Late October, as far as Joly and I can figure. Right now, I think it's been about twelve or thirteen weeks. It's really just beginning to show." She gestured to her stomach and sighed. "I'm going to be huge soon."

Enjolras crossed his arms. "First, why in the hell does Joly know?"

"Well, obviously he's going to deliver the baby," Gabrielle said matter-of-factly. "I trust him. And he examined me. Musichetta knows, too. And your mother."

"Oh, and have you told the neighbors, too? Was I the last to find out?"

Gabrielle smiled. "Not the last. Genevieve doesn't know. And neither do Marius or Cosette, as a matter of fact. And what is second?"

Enjolras sat back down and looked at her, his expression serious. "No matter what you look like, you'll be beautiful."

"Oh." Gabrielle blushed. "Thank you."

Enjolras leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes. He looked like he had no idea what to do with himself.

"How do you feel?" Gabrielle asked. All in all, she thought he had taken the news remarkably well, much better than she'd anticipated. He hadn't screamed, cried, or run away, which seemed like a good sign.

"I have no idea, honestly," he admitted. "I think I'm just a bit shocked. I don't know if it's really hit me yet." He looked at her and said accusingly, "I knew you looked different. I can't believe I didn't realize."

"I should have told you then, when you brought it up. I'm sorry. I was just so worried."

Enjolras reached out and took her hand, pulling her into his lap. "I feel like an ass for making you think that," he said quietly. "I'm so sorry for what I said last night. I never would have said any of that if I'd known."

"I know. It's alright." Gabrielle felt relieved at his touch, that he wasn't shrinking away from her or looking at her differently. Maybe everything would really be okay...

"And you...I mean, you can see already?" His eyes drifted to her stomach.

"Not so much with clothes on," she said quietly.

Enjolras rose, scooping her up in his arms before gently putting her back on her feet. "I want to see you," he said hesitantly.

Gabrielle suddenly felt nervous, but nodded. She took his hand and led him to the bedroom, turning around to let him unbutton her dress. He gently slid the material down and kissed her bare shoulders before unlacing her corset. Gabrielle tossed it aside and took a deep breath, turning to face him.

He scrutinized her carefully, his arms hanging limp at his sides. His expression was hard to read. Gabrielle bit her lip and turned to the side, her hand lightly caressing her stomach.

"See?" she said quietly. "It's not really that obvious yet, but..."

"Yes, it is. My God, Gabrielle..." Enjolras' hand slowly moved to cover her stomach and Gabrielle looked up at him uncertainly. "This is really happening, isn't it? We're going to have a baby," he said, his voice filled with awe.

"Yes, we are. Are you alright?" she asked again, a little concerned by the obvious look of shock and surprise he still wore.

"I'm...amazed, I think. I don't know? I just..." Enjolras continued to caress her stomach and suddenly leaned down to kiss her gently. "I love you. Is that enough for right now?"

"Of course it is. That's always enough." Gabrielle turned towards him and tugged on his shirt, pulling his mouth down to meet hers. She kissed him soundly and wrapped her arms around his neck.

After a minute she pulled away just enough to whisper in his ear, "Make love to me, Antoine."

Enjolras kissed her again and they stumbled over to the bed. He carefully eased her back onto the mattress and Gabrielle laid back, watching him undress. He kicked his trousers aside and gingerly climbed onto the bed, easing himself gently on top of her and kissing his way up her body. Gabrielle sighed and wrapped her arms around his back, spreading her legs and feeling his arousal press against her thigh.

He was carefully keeping all of his weight off of her and Gabrielle smiled, wrapping her legs around his waist and pulling him closer. He looked at her in dismay and Gabrielle pushed his hair from his face, laughing. "You aren't going to hurt me, silly. We've been doing much worse than this for weeks and everything has been fine, you know."

"But I didn't know then," he insisted. "Are you sure I can't hurt you?"

"Yes, love, I'm sure." Gabrielle brushed her lips against his and moved her hips, pressing his erection against her opening. "Make love to me," she insisted again, and Enjolras slowly eased himself inside of her. He held her gaze and moved in slow, gentle thrusts, setting a rhythm Gabrielle easily matched. He found her hand and threaded his fingers through hers, moving his lips to her jaw and lightly nipping at her skin.

Gabrielle sighed and closed her eyes, running her hands up and down his back. Since he had been home, their trysts had been rough, fast, and passionate. This felt different; slower and more sensual, and filled with meaning. As Enjolras neared his release, his movement sped up a bit. He met her eyes again, desperately whispering her name. That was all it took for Gabrielle to reach her own climax and she gasped, tightening her grasp on his back as Enjolras forcefully thrust into her a few more times before collapsing on top of her, still obviously being careful not to put all of weight onto her. Enjolras slowly pulled out and moved next to her on the bed, keeping one arm lightly resting on her waist.

He clearly looked overwhelmed, and Gabrielle could tell that everything was finally sinking in for him. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead, running her fingers through his hair. "Everything is going to be fine," she said calmly. "We're going to be fine."

"I know." Enjolras swallowed and took a deep breath, and admitted breathlessly, "But I am scared out of my mind."

I was going to wait to update, but you guys were just so sweet in your reviews for the last chapter, and so mad at me for drawing it out, that I decided to just post before I crawl into bed tonight. :) I truly hope it was worth the wait. And don't worry, Enjolras definitely still has a ways to go before he's happy about this news. I wanted his reaction to be in character for how I've written him so far, however, and considering he is a really gentlemanly and upstanding dude, AND is completely crazy in love with Gabrielle, I knew he wouldn't let himself totally freak out. If only for her sake.

He can save the freaking out for his conversations with his dead friends, after all.

Also, I hope y'all like what I threw in for Musichetta. I had been wondering about her for a while, and who she really was, and how she came to be so nurturing and awesomely kick-ass, so when I thought of that as a potential back-story for her, I really liked it. I actually have a bit more planned for her and Joly, though it may not show up here. Or ever? I don't really know if there's a call to use it, but I'd love to write it eventually.

Also, just to clarify, since I've had a couple people mention it in PMs and things: this story doesn't necessarily reflect my views on abortion. Whether you agree with it or not, how you feel about it is irrelevant for the story. It's always existed, women did use it back then even though it was dangerous and not necessarily fool-proof, and I thought it was unrealistic to have someone as intelligent as Gabrielle not even consider it, especially since she was in a rather dark place. Just because she ultimately doesn't and realizes she wants and loves her baby doesn't mean I'm condemning others who make another choice. Far from it. To each his own. Basically, just read the story for what it is and take the character for who she is. The end.