Choices Chapter Five

Thanks again for you lovely reviews. It makes it worthwhile. There were tears in the writing, not too many in the reading I hope!

The rental van stood ominously outside Kate's house. Issy and Peter, her brother, were busy loading boxes and suitcases. They had refused to let Kate help in her 'delicate' state.

She was in the kitchen making the final preparations to the lunch she was packing for the journey. Her mind drifted to earlier. She had woken after a very short night, to find Issy beside her. As she stirred, and turned over their eyes met and Kate was confronted with a look of sadness she could never have imagined.

"When did you come in?"

"Oh about two hours ago; I couldn't sleep as you would expect and I climbed in beside you because I needed to hold you one last time. You're not angry with me?"

"God, of course not; come here." She pulled Issy into her arms, she realised how well their bodies fitted together, in such a comforting way.

"Katie, I just want to tell you that you have opened up a new world of love and commitment for me. You know that most of my relationships so far have been pretty shallow. God, I even had a fling with Jimmy, the guy I'm going to share with. That didn't last too long."

Kate was struck by the reaction she had to this revelation about Jimmy. Would Issy simply fall back into the arms of an old lover? Somehow she found that prospect impossible to contemplate.

"I know there will be someone out there for me. I'll find them eventually and I only hope we can love each other as much as you and Caroline do."

At that moment Peter walked into the kitchen. "We're just about ready to head off Kate. Can I just say how lovely it's been to get to know you. I'm sorry things haven't worked out for the two of you, sis is a little too focussed on her job I guess."

"Oh no, Peter, please don't think this is in any way Issy's fault. If there is any blame in this, it's mine. I'll leave her to tell you about it if she wants to. But you should know that she pulled me back from the brink of despair. She's wonderful and I will always love her."

Peter hugged Kate and nodded knowingly. "I'll text you when we get there."

"Thank you, it's been so lovely to get to know your family a little. It's obvious where Issy gets her goodness. Look after each other."

Kate thought her heart was going to break at that moment.

Issy walked back into the house, passing Peter in the hall on his way out. "Take your time sis. I'll wait in the van."

The moment they had both been dreading.

Kate stretched out her arms and folded Issy into them. "I love you, you know that don't you"

"Yes Katie. I know. I love you more than you can imagine, but I want you to be completely at peace and right now we both know there is something missing. Just promise me you will make sure the missing piece fits properly.

Please keep me in the loop with the baby."

"Of course I will, and I want to know how the exams are going."

"Yep ,OK. I'll call or text you as soon as I feel able; it may take me some time to stop missing you; to stop longing for you. Bye my darling Katie. Look after yourself." They kissed gently and Issy turned and walked out of the house.

After waving them off, Kate headed back into her sitting room. The house immediately felt cold and empty. She walked upstairs and opened the door to Issy's room; she told herself it was to check if anything had been left behind; who was she fooling; she could smell the familiar perfume, imagine her lying on the bed; the emptiness of the room was overwhelming. She felt the bile rising in her throat and she dashed to bathroom to throw up.

Caroline was finding it impossible to concentrate on anything on her desk. She was in a daze. All she could think of was her Kate and what the two women would be going through. She was desperate to put on her coat, pick up her keys and go to her.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the phone. She picked it up. 'John Calling'

'Jesus, what does he want. I'm not in the mood. However, true to form instead of pressing the decline button she answered, "Yes John."

"Caroline what the hell is going on? Lawrence told me there's a 'for sale' sign in the garden."

"Yes well that's what normally happens when you're selling a house" sarcasm oozing in her voice.

"I don't remember agreeing to that."

"Well you didn't disagree when I told you."

"No, because I didn't think you were serious."

"Well I am. Call my solicitor if you don't like it. I can't talk to you now." And with that she finished the call and threw her phone back on to the desk. Seconds later it rang; him again. This time she ignored it. An idea came into her head, "Beverley, do you know how to block a phone number on my type of mobile?" Through the intercom Beverley said she could. She wandered into Caroline's office who simply handed the phone to her and said "Block John for me please."

Beverley looked quizzical but then she had noticed how distracted Caroline was today and so she asked no questions.

Peter drove in silence with his sister. She was deep in thought and every now a then a sideways glance would show him a tear running down her face. After an hour or so he said gently,"Are you OK sis?"

"Yep, I will be soon. I just need to pull myself together."

"If you look in the glove box, there's something there for you, Kate put it in when I was packing."

Issy opened the compartment and found a box with a ribbon around it and a card. She opened the box and found a beautiful white and yellow gold bracelet. The two colours twisted through each other. It was gorgeous. Shaky hands grappled with the envelope and at last she pulled out the card.

'I hope this bracelet is perfect for you. It shows our two lives and how they have been intertwined by fate. It's not possible to separate them if the bracelet is to remain whole. We are both stronger, better people because we have shared our lives, even for a short time.

Love always,

Katie xx'

Issy put the bracelet on and promised herself that she would not take it off until she was over her Katie. It would give her strength and courage, and remind her that she was capable of loving someone deeply.

At three o'clock Caroline sent a text to Lawrence, 'Get the bus home or go to Angus's. See you later. Ma'

It was now impossible not to contact Kate. She knew the risk in going to the house, but she couldn't face a text telling her not to come or not to contact her. She grabbed her bag and coat and let Beverley know she was leaving for the weekend.

While driving, she told herself over and over, 'this is about Kate, no-one else; do not inject any of your own agenda Caroline'. She pulled up outside the house and with relief, saw Kate's car in the drive. Her heart was thumping as she reached the front door; she knew this could be a huge mistake.

Kate appeared at the door and Caroline was shocked to see how pale and drawn she looked; the bags under her eyes were something she had never seen before.

"Caroline, what are you doing here?" There was no tone in her voice, it was flat and lifeless.

"I err came to see if you're alright."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Kate, I know that Issy left today."

"How, how could you know that?"

"Because she told me."

Kate looked puzzled and beckoned for Caroline to come inside. She offered her a chair and then sat down herself.

"What do you mean she told you?"

"She came to see me at school on Wednesday. That's when she told me she was leaving today. She wanted to tell me to look after you, not to hurt you ever again and how much she loved you. She also told me that you were pretty fragile."

Kate was numb. She didn't know what to say. The tears began again. Caroline reached out to touch her but she recoiled.

After what seemed like an age, Caroline got up and walked out into the kitchen. She came back after a few minutes with two cups of hot sweet tea. Kate took hers and managed a weak 'thank you'.

As Caroline sipped her tea trying not to stare directly at Kate, she was taken back to the day she left her at the hotel. 'If she feels anything like I did when I got home, God.' She thought.

Eventually Kate started to speak, "She left today, around one o'clock. Her brother is driving her down to London." She looked at the clock, "they should be well over half way there by now."

"Was it hard Kate?"

"Excruciating actually." The sadness in her voice bringing Caroline to tears.

"Is there anything I can do, or say to help?

"I don't think so right now. It all just has to sink in and settle down."

"Would you like me to go?"

"Yes if you don't mind. I can't really deal with anything today Caroline, but I am grateful for your thoughtfulness in coming round. I'll give you a ring when I feel a bit better and able to talk."

Caroline stood up to leave. "Can I hug you before I go, just for a little comfort?"

Kate stood up and walked over to her. She fell into Caroline's arms and wracking sobs overtook her. They stood together for what seemed like hours. Eventually Kate calmed down and lifted her face to Caroline, "I'm sorry, I was going to be so strong."

Caroline said nothing; she simply put her lips over Kate's and kissed her tenderly.

"Call me when you feel ready."