Five Weeks Later.

Kevin watched Patrick working at his desk, squinting at his screen through his sexy-librarian glasses. He was obviously not happy with something happening on his computer, and Kevin enjoyed watching his frustration playing out on his face. Patrick Murray was fucking cute when he was bothered. Also when he was happy and when he was goofing around, and especially when he was shy and embarrassed. He was cute a lot of the fucking time.

But he was also not cute at all, but fucking hot when he was feeling horny, and also after he'd been satiated and was in his post-sex dazed stupor, though that never lasted long because Patrick Murray was a chatty little fucker after sex. Kevin was the type who felt like dozing and struggled to stay awake after coming, but Patrick was bouncing off walls just minutes after.

Not that they'd had a lot of opportunities to be alone together...or more accurately, though they'd had the opportunities, there was some tacit understanding between them that their encounters were to be spontaneous, unplanned, not pre-meditated...because that would feel too much like...something that was more serious than this was allowed to be. And they both seemed to realize very quickly that though the boundary lines kept getting moved, they needed to keep this...thing...within a tightly sealed box.

Going home the night of their first fuck, seeing Jon lying on the sofa, still recovering from his massive hangover from the wedding, Kevin had been racked with guilt, but also, at the same time, not at all willing to stop what was happening between him and Patrick. Did that make him a cheating hypocrite? Absolutely. But he was willing to live with that...because, this itch needed more scratching before it was over, and he had learnt his lesson. The more he tried to ignore it, the more all-pervasive it became.

Most probably by fighting his attraction to Patrick, Kevin had blown it up into something huge and all-consuming, but now, after maybe a few more times together, this fascination would most likely just fizzle out. Sex was sex, and once the mystery was over and the thrill of the new and the exciting, Jon would still be the man he loved and was committed to. Every relationship had low points, and the strain of the decision to move to San Francisco, the time spent apart, the burden of the sacrifice he felt Jon had made, these all had contributed to Kevin feeling more distant and out of synch with Jon, but...now that he was here, and now that this ridiculous infatuation was sure to run it's course, he was going to able to recommit to Jon and they would get through this better, stronger.

Jon had been contrite for being such an arsehole at the wedding. He knew Kevin hated it when he drank so much and each time promised he wouldn't do it again. God...he was a good, solid man. Not challenging and difficult, not high-maintenance, just the best sort of life partner one could wish for.

The very next morning before setting off for work Kevin had texted Patrick to meet him on the roof before his daily round of meetings began. Some things needed to be sorted out, made clear. No false expectations or promises were going to be made. His resolution faltered for a second after seeing Patrick walk in to the MDG offices that morning, seeing him search out Kevin in his glass box of an office to give him a shy smile before he moved to his desk. Kevin had felt the breath knocked out of him. He was instantly aroused, memories of the previous night crowding in, of Patrick's mouth on his cock, of Patrick whispering 'fuck me harder' into his mouth between wet, sumptuous kisses, of being so deep inside of him and knowing he had seconds to pull out before he would explode...

But no...he had to stick to his original plan. Boundaries. Boundaries had to be set, lines drawn, compartments kept separate and closed. There was real life, there was work and then there was...this. He hoped to God Patrick would be reasonable so that this could be something they both could enjoy and let run it's course.

As he waited for Patrick on the roof, he tried to marshall his thoughts into a coherent argument. How did you ask someone if they would be willing to occasionally have sex with you while you were both in relationships with other people? Jesus...maybe Patrick had considered the whole thing a one night stand. What if he had confessed to Richie and was determined not to have anything more to do with Kevin outside of a work relationship? What the fuck was he going to do then? Fuck...he hated not being in control and this suddenly felt very...out of his control. Patrick was a wild card, and Kevin suddenly felt a surge of dread at the coming conversation. Who was in charge? Who had the power? It was so NOT clear...

As soon as Patrick walked out onto the roof, all Kevin's internal voices quieted. When they were apart everything seemed very complicated and full of pitfalls and difficulties. But as always, when Patrick stood before him, things seemed to simplify down to very basic facts. He wanted this man. So fucking much. And Patrick wanted him. Or at least he had. There seemed to be a lingering sadness around him this morning.

'What's happened?' Kevin asked, immediately attuned to Patrick's mood.

'What do you mean?'

'You look like...Should I be apologizing for last night?' Kevin pressed, holding his breath.

'No...no...Last night was...it was good.' Patrick blushed, not being able to look Kevin in the eyes.

'You regret it though?' Fuck. He dreaded this answer.

'Well, it shouldn't have happened, right? We both know that. I mean...you're still with Jon. But...if I'm honest, I can't regret it. That's pretty bad though. I don't know what that makes me.'

Why did he mention Jon but not Richie?

'And Richie?'

Patrick chewed his lip, looking down at the ground. He crossed his arms over his chest, as if to hold Kevin at a distance. Was this subject off limits? That made sense...he had no desire to discuss Jon with Patrick...still, Kevin was bothered.

'Richie and I...we're not together any more. We broke up last night after...we...happened. I think. Though it could have been yesterday morning. It's a little complicated.'

'Oh. I'm sorry'...well...that was a stupid thing to say. Totally inappropriate and frankly a downright lie. Patrick wasn't a fool, and he rolled his eyes at Kevin.

'Right. I'm sure you are.'

'Was it because of...us?' Kevin felt compelled to ask.

'No. It was...me. I...fucked up. Can we not talk about it though?'

Kevin didn't like that answer much. He didn't want to be responsible for breaking them up so that was a relief, but Patrick seemed melancholy about the end of his relationship with Richie, and instead of turning to him as a friend, he was very firmly shutting Kevin out. Shit. Was last night really just a casual fuck for Patrick? He found that...surprising. He had thought of the possibility but honestly, he wouldn't have expected Patrick to be capable of something like last night without having some...feelings involved. Not the sort of feelings you had for a boyfriend or your partner obviously, but...they had been friends before last night, no...before the wedding...so...

What the fuck were they now? Lovers? After one night? No...absolutely not. Fuck buddies? That seemed like a crass term for someone you cared about...Friends? He really hoped so. He liked having Patrick as a friend. Could they be friends who occasionally...when the itch got too intense...fucked?

But Patrick had asked a question, and he needed to formulate an answer, and then move them on to the topic at hand...which was, where did they go from here.

'Of course Patrick. Whatever you want. Listen...'

'Can I just say something Kevin?' Patrick interrupted, finally looking Kevin in the eyes, serious, grave.

'Sure.'

'I've never done something like last night before, and I don't know what it means or what it says about me, but...it was...very good. And I know you're with Jon and you have a life together, and I know that what you said last night, about thinking about me all the time, well, that wasn't meant like a big declaration or anything...but, well, I think about you too. A lot. And even though it's wrong and this isn't who I thought I was, if it happened again...I wouldn't... object. But I'm not making a big deal about it, and I'm not expecting anything of you, so...maybe we should just see what happens, or...doesn't happen.' Patrick shrugged.

Kevin nodded briskly, biting his lip. He should be fucking elated. Patrick had just let him off the hook, not requiring explanations, not asking for reassurances or promises...the perfect 'mistress'. He had effectively put himself into a little compartment, and given Kevin permission to come and play with him if he wanted. He should feel great. He could have his cake and eat it. He should smile, take the win and walk away...

'I want you to know I've never done something like last night before either. And I don't mean the unprotected sex. I mean...fucking someone I...care about...while I'm with Jon. I'll be honest with you. Things have been a little... strained between me and Jon, and I'm not saying that as an excuse, but I'm trying, we're both trying to make things work, and now he's moved down here I'm hoping things will get better. But I can't regret last night either. It was amazing. YOU were amazing. And I want you to know I'm really, honestly...grateful that you let me be with you last night, but that I want us to be friends and continue this really fun dynamic we have going here, and I don't want to jeopardize that, but at the same time I would really really like to be with you, again.' Well...that wasn't exactly how he had planned to play it. Not very cool and not many boundaries set. Well done Kevin.

But...ahhhh...Patrick was smiling. At last. A genuine smile, that seemed to break through his gloom, and that made his inarticulate speech suddenly seem perfect.

'I'd like that too.' Patrick blushed. Kevin walked towards him and stopping inches away from him, smiled broadly.

'Well then. Let's see what happens'

'Ok.' Patrick gave his half smile, the one that pulled one side of his mouth up and looked so fucking hot. Kevin couldn't resist. He leaned in and kissed that smiling mouth, gently, softly, just lips on lips, barely sexual. Patrick cupped his neck and gave a sweet lick of his tongue across Kevin's lips before stepping away.

He grinned at Kevin.

'I'd better get back to work before my boss finds out I'm missing'

'Yeah...I'll join you in a second. I just have to...wait a few minutes' Kevin stared pointedly down at his own crotch before raising his eyebrows at Patrick.

Patrick laughed delightedly before turning away and leaving the roof.

'Fuck me'. thought Kevin. This could get addictive. Strict rationing was required. He would wait at least a week before seeking out Patrick again. Maybe by then he wouldn't even feel the urge anymore.

And maybe pigs would fly...

Three days later, Kevin's resolve failed.

'Shit...don't stop...don't stop. Please...' Patrick gasped, arching his back away from the wall as far as he could while Kevin maintained his firm grip on his cock and in his hair.

'Are you close?' Kevin whispered in his ear, before angling Patrick's head towards his and grabbing his mouth in another wet kiss, sucking his lips and tangling his tongue in Patrick's mouth. Patrick couldn't answer of course, but Kevin didn't need words to know how close Patrick was to coming. He had been panting and murmuring obscenities for the past few minutes as Kevin got down to the serious business of tossing him off.

'I don't want to cum...not alone...let me...' Patrick pleaded, while trying to get his own hand down into Kevin's pants. But Kevin had other ideas.

'Hands against the wall. I told you not to move them' he growled into Patrick's mouth.

'Oh fuck...oh fuck...oh god...' Patrick moaned as Kevin sucked the soft skin of his neck, just under his chin.

Kevin quickly unzipped his own pants and pulling out his cock which had been painfully hard since he had decided to trap Patrick in the conference room, gripped both of their cocks in his hand and started rubbing, hard, fast, frantically...

'Yes...yes...that is soooooo good. I feel you...god...don't stop' Patrick was barely coherent which ratcheted Kevin's own desire up several notches..It DID feel fucking good. Even fully dressed, even with just a hand on a cock, Kevin was having the time of his fucking life.

Just watching Patrick's mouth during the end of week status meeting had been enough to get him started. Watching him chew on his lip, bite the side of his nail, lick his lips after taking a drink of his soda...watching his adam's apple move up and down slowly as he swallowed...the meeting had seemed to go on for hours and when it ended at 6 and Kevin dismissed everyone to go home, he had asked Patrick to stay behind to explain a part of the design. Patrick had not seemed suspicious at all and had launched into some detailed description of the module he and Owen had been working on. It had taken about 15 minutes for the rest of the staff to leave the building, during which time Kevin had pretended to be listening to Patrick, and had probably even come up with insightful questions. Patrick had pulled up the program on his laptop and was showing Kevin the actual code, line by line as Patrick explained the challenges they were facing.

Once Kevin had watched everyone leave, he had grabbed the still-talking Patrick by his arm, pulled him out of his chair and pretty much pinned him against the wall.

'What are you doing?' Patrick exclaimed.

'Keep your hands against the wall' Kevin had mumbled into Patrick's mouth while frantically unbuttoning his pants.

'What!' Patrick had tried moving his mouth away from Kevin's but not before he got a few delicious licks in...and Kevin noticed with glee that he had automatically flattened his hands against the wall and thrust out his crotch so Kevin could have easier access.

Kevin grinned and Patrick's eyes had glazed over as Kevin finally got his hands on his cock, which was already gratifyingly hard.

'Wait...what if...someone walks in?' Patrick tried feebly to protest, but his words were interrupted by his own attempts to devour Kevin's lips. This man had a serious oral fixation which absolutely delighted Kevin.

'I'll fire them.' Kevin smiled, moving his hand faster on Patrick, making him gasp and drop his head against the wall.

'Ok.' Patrick managed to whisper before giving himself over fully to the sensations Kevin was inciting...and so they found themselves, ten minutes later, coming together, Patrick rigid against the wall, Kevin pressed up against him close, mouth open against Patrick's cheek, gasping.

'Fuck' Kevin dropped his forehead onto Patrick's shoulder as he tried to recover from his orgasm.

'Wow' Patrick whispered as he slumped against the wall. 'That was unexpected'

'Mmm'

A few precious seconds of silence while Kevin tried to get his thoughts together.

'Don't get me wrong...I'm not complaining. Not in the least. I'll never be able to look at this wall again in the same way...not that I ever really looked at this wall. But...I was NOT prepared for this. How am I going to get home? Look at my t-shirt!' Patrick exclaimed, looking down at his chest.

'Mmm'

'Should I keep an extra set of clothes at work for when you want to jump me?' Patrick smiled, and leaning forward, kissed Kevin tenderly on the neck. Kevin grinned, still slumped on Patrick's shoulder.

'But what if someone HAD walked in?'

Kevin sighed and pulling himself together turned to lean against the wall next to Patrick.

'I watched them all leave'

'Wow. Ok. So you were...planning this? You weren't really interested in the module?'

'I couldn't give a fuck about the module, Patrick' Kevin chuckled. 'But no, I wasn't planning it. Just that at some point during the meeting I realized that I wanted you, so I waited.'

'Oh. Thats nice. I think. I better at least bring a spare t-shirt for when the mood strikes you.'

'Or you' Kevin bumped Patrick's shoulder. Patrick grinned and his whole face lit up.

'Oh yeah. So I can jump you if I want to too!' He seemed almost enchanted by the idea.

'I think that's how it works' Kevin laughed. They looked at each other silently, smiling, for a few seconds. Kevin pulled his clean t-shirt off and offered it to Patrick. Patrick raised a questioning eyebrow before taking it.

'I've got a sweater in the office I can wear' Kevin explained.

'I guess there's a practical side to all this that I'd never considered before.' Patrick said, sounding a little bemused as he put himself together.

'You're ok, though?' Kevin asked, suddenly anxious that he'd pushed Patrick too quickly, too far.

Patrick turned to him, hair and clothes rumpled, his eyes bright, mouth swollen again... God, Kevin loved that look on him...and gave Kevin a proper smile.

'I'm fucking great. Best end to a status meeting EVER.' He leaned in and gave Kevin a sweet, brief kiss.

Kevin totally agreed. Best end to a meeting, and best end to a work week, and best start of a Friday evening...A lot of bests. He couldn't see how it could get any better...But it did. In some ways it kept getting better, but in most ways, it got a lot...worse.

In the following weeks Kevin came to think of there being two Patricks. The one that was easy going, with whom he moved so easily, effortlessly into the old patterns of when they would seek each other out, laugh at each other's jokes, and also of course, at each other, and work was fun again as they fell into their old groove. This was the 'Before Richie' Patrick. And then there was the other Patrick. The one who was reserved, held back and avoided Kevin, who treated him like a polite stranger, or more accurately, a boss. This was the 'After Richie' Patrick. Just the way Patrick would say hello in the morning would let Kevin know pretty much which Patrick had shown up to work that day. And as the days went on, more and more, the 'After Richie' Patrick was the one he got. Patrick seemed to be pulling away. True to his word, he never asked Kevin for anything, he never spoke about Jon, never made any demands at all. Which perversely annoyed Kevin. Was he really the only one invested in this in any way?

The brightest spots were the 'events' that happened. Not too frequently, but each one was astonishingly good.

One evening, without explicitly agreeing to it, they had both found themselves waiting, working late, watching as everyone left the office one by one. They kept exchanging smiles, glances...but no words. When everyone had left for the night, Patrick had dragged Kevin into the store room, had produced a condom and some lube from his back pocket and had demanded that Kevin fuck him, now, here, immediately. Kevin had happily complied. It had been slow, leisurely, and...very excellent. Patrick's soft moans and happy sighs had driven Kevin to new heights of inventiveness, and he worked hard to show Patrick how good being fucked on a floor could be. They were both thoroughly rewarded, and Patrick was wonderfully vocal about how much he appreciated all of Kevin's incredible talents. Kevin couldn't stop grinning as Patrick chatted away, lying on the tiny empty floor space, staring up at the racks of printer ink, spare cables, old computer hardware...never had supplies been so sexy.

Then there was that time in the break room, before everyone else had arrived for the morning. Again, without any explicit agreement they had found themselves alone, early, and with one sly grin, Kevin had Patrick where he wanted him. He had pushed Patrick up against the door to make sure no-one could get in, and then, dropping to his knees, had shocked the hell out of Patrick as he took him deep into his throat. He LOVED this. He jerked himself off while he kept Patrick standing with one hand up against his chest, and the other holding him tight at the base of his cock. They had to be silent which added to the tension, and at the end, once Patrick, whispering, warned him he was going to cum he jumped up and kissed the fucking shit out of Patrick to make sure neither of them made any noises, while they brought each other off. That was a day Patrick needed the spare t-shirt he had kept in his bottom draw. That was a very very good day. One of the rare ones.

At home, things were also not going so well, which probably shouldn't surprise Kevin quite as much as it did. Neither Jon nor he had fundamentally changed, but the effort it took to make the small compromises on each of their parts to make living together work...it seemed more frustrating and difficult than before. Jon had less patience for Kevin's work demands and for his distance than usual. Maybe being separated from his friends and family was making him more needy, but Kevin could never give Jon all the focus and attention he wanted, and Jon used to accept that, understand it. Now...he seemed to resent Kevin for not being more...present. And why did Jon not ever find Kevin funny? Had he never been able to make him laugh? He was always so serious, so earnest. No nonsense, which was great in a crisis or when decisions needed to be made, but for fuck's sake...he needed to lighten up a little.

So now, five weeks later he was watching Patrick through his glass cubicle. Spying on him. Kevin reached for his phone and texted Patrick a quick message. Within a minute Patrick was closing Kevin's office door behind him.

'Hey. You needed me?' Patrick asked, all business. Great.

'Err...no. Just...wanted to say hello.' Kevin answered, chewing his bottom lip.

'Oh...ok. Well...Hi. Everything OK?' Patrick said awkwardly.

'Yeah, yeah. Everything's fine.' Kevin felt a desperation he was finding hard to manage. He could sense Patrick slipping away and didn't know what to do about it. He wasn't ready for this to end.

'Listen...Jon's working on Saturday...do you want to maybe...see a movie or something?' He asked, trying to sound casual, unconcerned.

'Oh. Did you forget? I took the day off tomorrow. I'm going up to the Russian River with my friends. Coming back Sunday?'

'Oh...right...I did forget. Sorry. Yeah, your friend's boyfriend's cabin or something.'

'Yeah. Not sure what it will be like but...we just wanted to get away for a few days. You know. Agustin's been pretty much off the rails and we thought a weekend away, we might be able to help get him sober. Maybe.'

Kevin nodded.

'That's nice. Hope it works for him. Did you want to stay late tonight? I could change some plans and maybe we could just...hang out?' Kevin pressed a little harder...He thought they were beyond this but this felt like the days just before the wedding, when he was pursuing Patrick and Patrick was always retreating. Shit.

'Uhm...you know, I think I should go home early tonight. I need to pack and we are leaving really early tomorrow morning so...' Patrick trailed off.

'Of course. Makes sense...You're sure you're ok though?' Kevin tried one last time to break through. Patrick smiled weakly, but his eyes finally engaged with Kevin's. He definitely seemed troubled, and Kevin hated the thought that he might be the cause of Patrick's mood, but he didn't know what to do about it. He was doing his best to get Patrick to open up to him, but there was only so much he could do without totally betraying Jon...and he wasn't ready to go there.

'Yeah. Everything's Ok.' Patrick answered quietly. Smiling, he got up and walked out of Kevin's office.

Well fuck. Why did he feel like Patrick was saying goodbye? He wasn't ready. He didn't want this to end. It wasn't over. Not yet. God...he had let Patrick know what he wanted, had made it as clear as possible, so now...it was up to Patrick. Fuck. This was going to feel like a very long fucking three days...