Chapter XXXII

It was 7:45 in the morning. Joly was at the orphanage, helping Musichetta. He had promised Enjolras he would spend the morning there in his place while Enjolras relaxed with Gabrielle at home until noon. Enjolras had never run so fast in his life; his mind was absolutely blank, but his body was filled with panic and adrenaline. His lungs were on fire in the cool morning air, but he refused to slow down. It was a ten minute walk to the orphanage from the house, but Enjolras reached it in less than five running at full speed.

He burst through the doors and immediately began screaming for Joly, no doubt frightening everyone else in the building in the process. Enjolras ran blindly from room to room, still screaming Joly's name, and suddenly he was before him, eyes wide.

"Good God, Enjolras, be quiet! You're scaring the children!" Joly grabbed his shoulders and shook him roughly, and Enjolras clamped his mouth shut, realizing he could hear several children crying upstairs.

Musichetta flew through the door, her hand at her throat. "Enjolras! What's wrong?" she exclaimed.

"It's Gabrielle," Enjolras panted, running a hand through his hair. "She's bleeding. There was a lot of blood. There shouldn't be blood, Joly...we need to get back there." Enjolras grabbed Joly's arm and began dragging him to the front door.

Joly grew pale, but took a deep breath and dug his heels in. "Enjolras, wait. I need my bag. Give me ten seconds."

Musichetta stared at Enjolras, her gaze frightened, but she managed to say reassuringly, "It's going to be fine, Enjolras. Everything will be fine."

Enjolras didn't respond, but waited impatiently at the door for Joly, who soon reappeared, bag in his hand.

"I ran all the way here," Enjolras said. "We can take a fiacre back, unless you think you can keep up with me."

"I can keep up," Joly said grimly. "It will be faster."

Enjolras nodded briskly and set out again, hearing Joly fall into step behind him. Enjolras ignored the burning cramp in his side as he ran, his only care or thought in the world about getting back to Gabrielle. Joly actually outpaced him, and Enjolras felt a surge of gratitude for his friend for caring so much and trying so hard; he let him get ahead, but was still only thirty seconds behind when he reached the house. He ran into the bedroom to find Joly examining his wife, who was openly sobbing on the bed.

Her face was pale, and she choked out his name as soon as he appeared in the doorway. His heart stopped as he noticed more blood on the towel he'd placed beneath her. He bent over, trying to slow his racing heart, and managed to stumble over to the bed. Gabrielle clung to him, her whole body shaking.

"I haven't felt her move," Gabrielle sobbed. "She usually doesn't stop in the morning, especially when I'm lying still. And then I realized I hadn't felt her at all..." Her voice was panicked and rough with tears, and Enjolras tried his best to soothe her, wrapping her tightly in his arms.

"Now, Gabrielle," Joly said firmly, "that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Don't jump to conclusions, I need you to stay calm. Your baby needs you to stay calm."

"It's alright, love, it's going to be okay." Enjolras' voice came out shaky and ragged, but he was determined to stay strong for Gabrielle. He would not allow himself to break down in fear, though he felt like curling up in a ball and sleeping until this was all over. He couldn't face the thought of losing either of them, his wife or his child. It might kill him.

Joly was remarkably calm, though he was sweating from nerves and from their run. His hands were steady as he gently examined Gabrielle. "The bleeding seems to have stopped, which is the good news," he said quietly. "It was a significant amount of blood loss, though, and not normal. You said the cramping and pain you felt before is gone now?"

Gabrielle nodded.

"I don't think you're in labor," Joly said hesitantly. "But I wouldn't be surprised if it starts soon. Honestly, you could have this baby today or in a few weeks. There's really no way to tell. This could just be a complete anomaly and everything could be fine..."

"Or?" Enjolras asked.

"Or it could indicate a problem. But there's no way to know unless it happens again." Joly sighed and leaned against the bedpost, suddenly looking exhausted.

"What does it mean that the baby isn't moving, Joly?" Gabrielle asked again.

Joly glanced at Enjolras, then looked back at Gabrielle, his eyes soft. "Honestly, Gabrielle, it really might not mean anything at all. In the worst case scenario, though, it...it would mean exactly what you think it does. I would only be worried if you still haven't felt it in a few hours. I could try to find the heartbeat again, but I don't have the stethoscope anymore; I borrowed it. I could try and get it back, but that would mean leaving and I think I should stay for now."

Gabrielle closed her eyes and bit her lip, forcing more tears down. "Of course. It's best for you to be here."

Enjolras gently laid Gabrielle back down on the bed, keeping her hand firmly in his. "What should we do, Joly?"

"Well. All we can do is wait," Joly said uncertainly. "And, whether the baby comes in a few hours or in a few weeks, I think it's best if Gabrielle moves as little as possible until then and stays mostly in bed and off her feet. It's better to be cautious. And hopefully, there will be nothing at all to worry about."

Gabrielle nodded and squeezed Enjolras' hand. "Could I have some water, Antoine?"

"Of course." Enjolras made to leave, but Joly held up a hand.

"I'll get it. You stay here, Enjolras." Joly left the room and Enjolras pulled up a chair next to the bed, collapsing into it.

He leaned his forehead against Gabrielle's side and closed his eyes, fighting back tears. He hated feeling so helpless. Their baby could be dead, for all they knew, and there was no telling whether or not Gabrielle would come out of this alive, either, and it was too much. He took a deep, ragged breath, and felt Gabrielle's hand stroking his hair.

After a few minutes, he finally raised his head, his eyes dry, and took her hand, bringing it to his lips. "I love you. No matter what, I love you. And I need you, both of you, to be okay."

"I love you, too." Gabrielle managed a small smile. "I feel alright; nothing hurts. Maybe Joly's right, and it was just..." She shrugged. "Who knows. We can't do anything but wait."

Joly came back into the room with a breakfast tray and Enjolras thanked him gratefully. They all nibbled on the food in relative silence, and Gabrielle finally asked, once they were finished, "So, I'm just supposed to stay in bed from now on?"

Joly nodded. "Yes, for the most part. Obviously, you can rise to bathe and...well, for other basic needs. But you should stay off your feet and laying down as much as possible. The less movement, the better. And..." Joly squirmed a bit, but finally said in a rush, "and obviously you two shouldn't have intercourse anymore." He blushed.

Gabrielle managed a small laugh at Joly's expense, but nodded. "Right."

Enjolras just grimaced. After a few minutes, he asked, "Joly, is it too much to ask for you to stay here today? All day? I know you have other engagements and things to do, but it would ease my mind."

"Of course, Enjolras. I won't go anywhere, for as long as you need me."

"Thank you."

Eventually, after it was clear the bleeding had indeed stopped, Joly retreated to the library to give Enjolras and Gabrielle a bit of privacy.

Enjolras still sat in the chair next to the bed, holding Gabrielle's hand and gently rubbing circles on her wrist with his thumb. He seemed calm, but he felt exhausted and overwhelmed, and knew it probably showed on his face.

"Will you hold me?" Gabrielle suddenly whispered, and Enjolras looked up to find tears in her eyes again.

"Shhh, Gabrielle." He stood and moved to the other side of the bed, gingerly climbing in next to her. She turned on her side to face him and Enjolras wrapped his arms around her tightly. He rubbed her back and kissed her, telling her over and over again that he loved her. It was the only thing he could think of that made any sense at the moment, and eventually, she quieted again in his arms. He thought she might have fallen asleep, but she suddenly gasped and pulled away a bit, her eyes widening. Enjolras sat up with his heart in his throat, and was about to call Joly, thinking something was wrong, but Gabrielle smiled.

"I just felt...the baby kicked. I know it," Gabrielle whispered. She bit her lip and waited, her brow furrowed. "I know I didn't imagine it."

Enjolras watched her carefully and slowly lowered his hand to her stomach, praying that it would happen again, and that they would know their child was alive. It took several minutes, but finally, Enjolras felt a rush of movement against his hand. He not only felt a few kicks, but what seemed like a few somersaults as well, and he let out a deep breath of relief had hadn't realized he'd been holding. Gabrielle laughed and he embraced her again.

"Thank God." He kissed her gently, his lips lingering against hers longer than usual. "It's all okay. It's alright. You're both going to be fine." His voice was firm and hopeful, containing no trace of the lingering fear he still felt.

"We are," Gabrielle agreed, but Enjolras thought her smile didn't quite reach her eyes.

Fear gripped Gabrielle; even though the bleeding had stopped hours ago and hadn't started again, she was still more terrified than she had ever been in her life. Everything had been perfect so far. She had even felt sorry for other women who didn't have pregnancies as easy as hers. Now all of that changed, and she was too scared to move a muscle. The unknown was the terrifying part – what was wrong? What caused it? Was the baby going to come today or tomorrow, or early at all? And if it did, would it survive? Would she survive? She couldn't die. She couldn't leave her child alone, and she couldn't leave Enjolras alone. Gabrielle was terrified of what he might do if he lost her.

She slept fitfully throughout the day, though she knew Enjolras lay awake and ever watchful beside her. Joly came to check on her periodically, each time seeming a little more confidant that she was going to be fine, which did ease her mind a little. Henri arrived with a note from Musichetta in the afternoon, wanting news, and they sent him off with several messages – for Musichetta, Marie, the Durands, and Marius and Cosette.

Within an hour, Marie arrived, and Enjolras slipped silently into the hall to talk to her. Gabrielle feigned sleep; she didn't want to talk. She didn't want to move. What if something she did caused the bleeding to start again?

"Antoine, what happened?" Marie asked fearfully. Gabrielle could just hear her voice through the crack in the door.

Enjolras haltingly relayed the story to her, his voice shaking, and when he was finished, everything was silent for a minute. Finally, Marie asked quietly, "Are you alright, Antoine?"

"No," he choked out, and Gabrielle squeezed her eyes shut when she heard the sound of his crying. She hated it, hated knowing he was as scared as she was, hated hearing someone who was usually so stoic and strong break down. That meant there was reason for her to be scared, too, if he was. Marie soon led Enjolras away from the door and everything was silent again. Gabrielle stared at the wall, finally beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable from keeping so still and laying in the same position for hours. She held her breath as she turned on her other side, but was reassured when she felt the baby move again.

After some time, Marie quietly slipped into the room. She smiled brightly when she saw Gabrielle was awake and sat on the edge of the bed, taking her hand.

"Is Antoine alright?" Gabrielle asked quietly, and Marie rolled her eyes indulgently.

"Of course you would ask about him first," she chastised. "He's fine, Gabrielle – he's scared, of course, and worried, but that's understandable. I forced him to lay down in the library, and he finally fell asleep. I think once he wakes up, he's going to be able to be much stronger and calmer for you. But how are you, darling? Are you feeling alright?"

"Nothing hurts; I feel like I always do, not unusual at all anymore. But I'm scared to move, scared that I'll do something..." Gabrielle swallowed and closed her eyes. "Marie, I can't...I don't think I could bear it if something is wrong." She hastily wiped at the tears that began to fall.

"You can, and you will, if you have to," Marie said firmly. "That isn't to say that anything is wrong, Gabrielle – it was over very quickly, from what Monsieur Joly told me. But no matter what happens, you will bear it. You will get through it, and so will Antoine. You're both strong, and nothing, nothing, will break you unless you let it."

Marie's words stopped Gabrielle's tears, and Marie continued. "You need to stay calm, and confident, for the baby's sake. It will do you no good to sit and worry all the time. You'll make yourself sick."

Gabrielle nodded and squeezed Marie's hand. "I know. Thank you, Marie."

Marie smiled reassuringly and smoothed Gabrielle's hair. "Come now, lets sit you up and I'll brush your hair. It's a tangled mess."

Gabrielle slowly sat up and turned her back to Marie. She soon felt her brush running through the strands of hair, gently untangling the knots and snarls that had formed. It was comforting, and Gabrielle closed her eyes, gradually beginning to feel more calm and peaceful. Marie braided Gabrielle's hair when she was finished brushing it, and then said quietly, "Now, come. Joly said it's alright for you to move a little bit. Lets get you clean and changed into a fresh nightgown, and then I'm going to change these sheets."

Gabrielle felt a stab of fear again, but let Marie cautiously help her out of bed. Nothing seemed unusual as she stood, so she she made her way over to the wash basin, stripping her nightgown from her body. Gabrielle began to wash herself and averted her eyes from the dark red stains that spoke of that morning's horror while Marie changed the bedsheets. After they were both finished, she dutifully lifted her arms and slipped into a fresh nightgown and dressing gown. She had to admit that she felt much better. Marie helped her settle back into the bed, sitting up this time against several fluffy pillows.

"I feel much better, Marie, thank you," Gabrielle said gratefully.

Marie leaned down and kissed her cheek. "That's what mothers are for, dear. Now let me go get you some books to keep yourself occupied."

Marie left the room, but was soon replaced by Enjolras standing uncertainly in the doorway. He looked much better after his nap, but his eyes were still fearful and rimmed with red from crying earlier. He surveyed Gabrielle silently and walked slowly over to her side, reaching down to finger the brain in her hair. "I see my mother has worked her magic."

"She has. And I'm feeling much, Antoine. Normal, even."

Enjolras sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over to kiss her. "You promise?"

Gabrielle nodded and gently prodded his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

Gabrielle raised her eyebrows skeptically, and Enjolras smiled tightly. "I am, love. You scared the hell out of me, but I'm fine now. My mother gave me a thorough talking-to, as well."

"I don't want you to constantly fuss over me," Gabrielle said firmly. "We need to be as normal as possible. I don't want to spend all of our time worrying and being scared. Even if I have to stay in this bed all the time, that doesn't mean you have to tiptoe around."

"I know. We'll make the best of it." He squeezed her hand. Marie soon entered with several books, but they all fell into conversation instead. Gabrielle found her mood slowly lifting, the darkness replaced by an optimistic feeling. Everything would be alright.

The next day, Gabrielle convinced Enjolras to go to work for a few hours when Musichetta stopped by. He wasn't the type to stay cooped up at home, and she knew the more he sat and stared at her, the more anxious he became. It would do him good to be out of the house for a while and concentrating on other things. He left only once Musichetta told him to send Henri as soon as he got to the orphanage; that way, if anything should happen, Henri would be able to relay a message to Enjolras straight away. He was fairly pacified with that plan.

"Do you think he's ever going to calm down?" Musichetta huffed, dramatically falling into the chair next to the bed. "I couldn't stand his hovering if I were you!"

"He's really not been that bad – just the thought of leaving set him off again. He's been very helpful yesterday and this morning. But he can't stay in the house until this baby decides to come. I'll kill him." Gabrielle grinned.

"With good reason!" Musichetta laughed. "But tell me, honestly; are you alright?"

Gabrielle's smile faltered and she sighed. "I'm...I don't know, really. I keep telling myself that it doesn't do me any good to think negatively or worry, but still. I was never so scared in my life as I was yesterday when I saw all that blood. I thought..." She stopped, her throat burning with unshed tears. "I thought I was going to deliver a dead baby. And if that happens...'Chetta, I think I would want to die."

Musichetta leaned forward and grasped her hand. "It's not going to happen, Gabrielle. I know it was frightening and unexpected, and it certainly wasn't good. But you, and the baby, are going to be alright."

Gabrielle nodded fervently, desperately wanting to believe Musichetta's words. "'Chetta, you'll be here, won't you? When it happens?"

"Of course, Gabrielle. Where else would I be?"

"You have to promise me something then."

Musichetta didn't say anything and looked at her cautiously, almost as if she knew what Gabrielle was going to say.

"If something goes wrong...do whatever you need to do to save the baby. Even if it hurts me. I don't care." Her voice came out confidant and strong, not at all shaky and scared anymore.

Musichetta studied her for a moment, then nodded. "You don't have to ask, Gabrielle. You know I will. I'm a mother, and I've lived through the pain of my child dying. I would have gladly taken her place. I know how you feel. But honestly, darling..." Musichetta smiled tightly. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

"Of course." Gabrielle breathed a sigh of relief at knowing Musichetta understood and would do the hard thing, even if Enjolras couldn't. She knew Musichetta would understand, and had a feeling both Cosette and Marie would, too. If it came down to it, they would outnumber Enjolras. They would convince him. "Just, seeing as how the unexpected has already happened, I wanted to make sure."

Musichetta sighed and stood, scooting into bed beside Gabrielle. Gabrielle smiled and rested her head on Musichetta's shoulder. "What does it feel like? Being in labor?" she asked.

"It's hell," Musichetta said simply. "Or at least it was for me. But, honestly, I've been present at quite a few births now, and some women seem to barely feel a thing. I suppose it's different for everyone. But I felt like my insides were literally being squeezed in a vice. And my back ached so horribly I couldn't get comfortable no matter how I moved. Not to scare you or anything."

Gabrielle laughed. "Yes, well. Thank you for that. There's no use lying about it, though. And, you know," she teased, "my ever calm, and rational, and not at all anxious husband swears he's not leaving my side through the whole thing. So that should be fun for all of you who have to corral him, too."

"Lord help us all." Musichetta winced. "I'll tell Joly to bring a sedative, just in case."

"That's probably a good idea."

They were silent for a while and finally, Musichetta said contemplatively, "He's so very in love with you, you know. The kind of love you read about in books, that you aren't sure really exists in real life. That's what you have with him. Real romance and passion. And as if you weren't already lucky enough with just that, he respects the hell out of you."

Gabrielle bit her lip and blushed. "I know. Trust me, I thank God every day. I never expected it. But you have it, too; with Joly."

"Eh." Musichetta waved her hand dismissively. "It's love, yes, but a very different kind of love. It started out as nothing more than an arrangement. Then became a friendship. And now, yes, I do love him. Very much."

"Do you think you'll marry him, 'Chetta?"

Musichetta was silent for a while, then said slowly, "He has asked..."

"What?!"

"Shh. I keep saying no."

"He's asked more than once? Why do you turn him down? You just said you love him!" Gabrielle turned her head to look at Musichetta and noticed her eyes were clouded.

She finally admitted, "I don't think I can give him a child, Gabrielle. And he deserves a woman that can."

"How do you know?" Gabrielle asked quietly.

Musichetta sighed and worried her lip. "I haven't been...careful...in quite some time. A long time. I don't know why. I wanted to see, I suppose. If I did become pregnant, then I would have said yes, knowing we could have a family. And I knew he would have done the honorable thing and married me. But I haven't gotten pregnant. And I don't think I will. It's just a feeling I have; I just know, somehow, that I can't carry a child anymore. And Joly should marry a woman that can give him a family."

"But he wants you," Gabrielle said softly. "Don't be a martyr, 'Chetta. You deserve to be happy with him."

She was suddenly struck by how horrible her pregnancy must make Musichetta feel. And she had never shown jealousy or bitterness, not once, only kindness and never-ending support. Gabrielle's eyes filled with tears, and she said quietly, "Oh, 'Chetta, I love you so much. You're so good to me. I want you to be happy so badly!"

Musichetta smiled wryly and squeezed her hand. "I love you, too, Gabrielle. And I am happy, don't get me wrong. There's no use wallowing in what I don't have. You never know...maybe next time he asks, I'll say yes."

"I hope so."

First of all, you guys are freaking awesome. I hit 300 reviews, and I NEVER thought that would happen. I honestly thought people wouldn't give a shit about this Enjolras/OC story. I can't thank you enough for reading and reviewing!

Also, it makes me really, really happy to know that y'all HONESTLY don't know whether or not I'm going to actually kill my main character. haha I love that you are truly worried, because that means I'm doing something right in keeping you on your toes. And you're correct - you really don't know. Because my favorite books are Wuthering Heights and Gone With the Wind, and they're not exactly known for their happy endings.

...but everything is fine. For now. ;)