Chapter XXXIII

The next few weeks went by uneventfully, and for the first few days, Enjolras barely slept. He stared at Gabrielle all night, waiting for something to happen, waiting for something to go wrong. He had to be ready to run to Joly at a moment's notice, and he refused to let his brain be clouded with sleep. Nothing ever happened, however, and Gabrielle slept peacefully, though every time she moved, Enjolras tensed, poised for flight.

When Enjolras went to the orphanage in the afternoon, he slept on the sofa in his office. It was the only time he could relax enough to close his eyes, and he barely had enough strength left to keep going.

But, gradually, things went back to normal, or as normal as they could be considering Gabrielle was still confined to bed. Nothing else unusual happened and Enjolras slowly began to loosen up as the tight, restricted feeling in his chest somewhat lifted. He even began to feel optimistic that maybe Gabrielle would have a safe and easy delivery.

Joly came to check on Gabrielle at least every other day, and Enjolras always hovered nearby, hoping to hear encouraging news. As terrified as he was to watch Gabrielle suffer through the pain of childbirth, he would be relieved when it was finally over. And the more he thought about it, the more he realized just how much he longed to hold his child in his arms.

One day, Joly looked up and grinned after he gently felt Gabrielle's stomach. "Have you felt anything different in the last day or two, Gabrielle?"

Gabrielle glanced at Enjolras and said reluctantly, as if afraid to admit it in front of him, "Yes, quite a bit. The baby is moving less. I feel more pressure. And I think...well, I don't know, but I think it may be time soon."

Joly nodded. "The baby has moved. The head is down now, and ready for birth, which is exactly where it's supposed to be. That's a good sign." Joly moved to the foot of the bed to examine Gabrielle and Enjolras averted his eyes. Even though it was strictly medical, he still didn't like the fact that his friend was gazing at a very private part of his wife that he felt strangely possessive of.

"Yes, it will definitely be soon. All of the signs are there," Joly soon confirmed. "Have you had any pain yet?"

"Yes," Gabrielle admitted, and Enjolras straightened in alarm, beginning to glare daggers at her for not telling him. "Only every once in a while, and not bad at all. And my back aches, just like Musichetta said hers did."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Enjolras asked, exasperated.

"Well, there's really no need to yet," Joly told him placatingly. "Honestly, it could still be a few days, Enjolras. Or it could be tonight! There's no telling, really. A woman's body is quite incredible! Believe me, Gabrielle will know when her labor really begins, but I think you are in the early, early stages. Your body is preparing itself."

Joly clapped Enjolras on the back, oblivious to how he had begun to stiffen as the conversation continued. The panic and anxiety he had only recently rid himself of was back in alarmingly full force.

Gabrielle smiled apologetically as she saw his panic level rise. "Antoine, really. You need to relax. It's a good thing, love – the baby will be here soon."

"You should have told me you were feeling pains," he muttered. "And Joly, I hope you don't think you're going anywhere now."

Joly raised his eyebrows and Gabrielle cringed.

"Antoine!" she said sharply. "Joly is leaving. When we need him, we know exactly where to find him. He has a life to live, you know."

"Not right now he doesn't," Enjolras insisted.

Joly slowly began to back towards the door, eyeing his friend suspiciously, like he was about to tackle him at any moment. Which he might. "Enjolras, really. I don't need to be here. There's absolutely no urgent need."

"And clearly, being here with you right now would be so much fun! Quite a party," Gabrielle teased, and then said pointedly, "Goodbye, Joly. Thank you!"

Joly nodded, turned, and practically sprinted out of the room. Enjolras turned to glare at Gabrielle again and asked irritably, "What was that for? Don't you think it would just be better to have him here until it happens?"

Gabrielle shook her head vehemently. "No. You heard him, love; the baby could come tonight, or tomorrow, or the next day...there's no way to know. And he has things to do, other patients to see to. There's no reason for him to be here."

"I see every reason," Enjolras said firmly. "To keep you, and our child, safe."

Gabrielle sighed, and her eyes softened as she looked at him. Finally, she said quietly, "Antoine, I know you're frightened. And that's alright. But, darling, you have to know...even Joly's presence isn't a guarantee of safety."

Enjolras walked heavily to the chair next to the bed and sat, his hands gripping the arms. "What are you telling me to do, Gabrielle? Prepare to lose you? To lose the baby?"

Gabrielle turned towards him and reached out, laying her hand soothingly on his arm. "Yes," she said gently. "There's no other way to put it, Antoine. You have to know you can't control everything. And you can't control this. Neither can Joly. Whatever happens will happen. We just have to hope it's good, and that in the end, we have a healthy, beautiful baby."

Enjolras studied her face intently, taking in every feature and nuance in her expression – her sincere dark eyes, petite nose, full lips, strong jaw – and suddenly gripped her hand, his grip crushing. "I won't prepare myself to lose you, Gabrielle. I won't. I will fight for you. And you will be fine, because I say it will be so. Do you understand me?"

Gabrielle smiled almost sadly and nodded. "Yes, Chief," she murmured, and Enjolras blushed at his old nickname. "I can see that no matter what I say, it won't make a difference. You'll do what you need to do."

He nodded firmly and brought her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles reverently. "I will."

Three days later, Enjolras was working from home in the library when Gabrielle felt the first pain. She was standing at the washbasin, gently toweling her face dry, when it began: slowly, at first, just a small cramping that soon spread to her lower back, causing her to cling to the edge of the dresser. She was doubled over, gasping, and couldn't even manage to call for Enjolras until it passed. It was more intense than she had anticipated, especially for it being the first she really felt that signaled something was truly different.

She walked carefully back to the bed and rested on the edge, her heart beating quickly. This is really happening, she thought in disbelief.

"Madame Enjolras? Are you alright?"

Gabrielle looked up at the sound of Henri's voice and was about to answer when her husband appeared behind him, apparently roused from his work haze at the sound of Henri's question.

"I'm fine, Henri. Will you go into the garden for a little while? You may need to go get Joly soon, stay close."

Enjolras raised his eyebrows and immediately came into the room, shutting the door behind him as Henri scampered off to the garden in back.

"Is it...happening?" Enjolras asked apprehensively.

"I think. Maybe. I just felt something a few minutes ago. It was rather intense, not like anything else I've felt. I don't know if it will happen again."

"Get back into bed," Enjolras commanded, and quickly crossed the room to help her. He sat perched on the edge and took her hand, gripping it tightly. "Is everything alright?"

"I think so...there's no blood," she added reassuringly, and squeezed his hand.

"Good." Enjolras breathed a sigh of relief and looked around the room in bewilderment. "So, what do we do now? Just wait?"

Gabrielle laughed and sat up, fluffing her pillow up behind her. Enjolras quickly added more to keep her comfortable. "I think so. Joly said we should keep track of how far apart each contraction is – he wants us to get him when there are fifteen minutes between each one."

"Well, how long has it been now since the last?" Enjolras reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his pocket watch.

"About five minutes, maybe. And now I feel fine, like nothing happened at all."

"Well..." Enjolras shrugged, his eyes trained on his watch. "Tell me when something happens."

"Believe me, I think you'll know," Gabrielle said.

They sat silently for several minutes. Gabrielle played with a loose string on the coverlet and Enjolras fidgeted incessantly. After about twenty minutes, Gabrielle suddenly felt it again, and immediately turned onto her side, gripping the sheets. "Antoine," she mumbled, and soon felt his strong hands tentatively rubbing her back.

"You're holding your breath, Gabrielle," he said quietly next to her ear. "Breathe, love."

Gabrielle reached behind her and moved his hands lower. The pressure of his hands kneading her lower back immediately helped ease the pain a little bit, and she said quietly, "Harder, please." She took a deep breath, focusing all of her attention on slowly breathing in and out.

After what seemed like an eternity, the pain passed, and Gabrielle's grip on the sheets loosened.

"Alright?" Enjolras asked quietly, and Gabrielle nodded. She could tell he was trying very hard to stay calm, and there was a sort of frantic energy running just underneath his skin. "Do you need anything? Tell me what you want me to do."

"Nothing right now, I promise. Lets just wait until they get closer together." Gabrielle turned over to face him. "We might as well talk about something else while we wait."

She engaged him in conversation about a new little girl at the orphanage that he had been telling her about, one who seemed to be exceptionally bright. Enjolras was soon extolling about how unfair it was that such a girl would never get to experience a higher education; Gabrielle suspected that he was just as keen to distract himself as she was.

The next few hours passed slowly, with each contraction gradually becoming a little worse than the last, but not really much closer together. Gabrielle soon couldn't find comfort laying down, and Enjolras shadowed her as she walked, sometimes clinging to the bedposts, sometimes squatting on the floor as the pain hit. She knew she was scaring Enjolras out of his mind, but while in the midst of the pain, when she felt like she was burning from the inside out, she didn't really care.

Finally, Enjolras burst out, after a particularly painful contraction that left Gabrielle curled up and moaning in a ball, "Alright, Henri is going for Joly now. Those last two were only about seventeen minutes apart. That's close enough."

Gabrielle was already too tired to argue and just nodded. She closed her eyes after Enjolras left to fetch Henri from the garden, wishing she could sleep, but the seventeen minutes (maybe) before the next contraction hit just seemed a tease, more than anything.

Enjolras came back with a fresh pitcher of cool water and a rag to dampen her forehead. Gabrielle gazed at him as he tilted a glass to her lips to help her drink, insisting on doing everything for her, and realized he was being remarkably cool and collected. His hands were steady, his eyes focused and clear, and his voice low and soothing every time he spoke. She didn't know if it was an act or not, but she was grateful.

"You're being rather wonderful." Gabrielle smiled and reached up to touch his cheek. He looked quite handsome, too; he had removed his coat and cravat, leaving the neck of his shirt open, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. "Thank you for being here. Most men can't stomach childbirth."

Enjolras smiled and leaned down, placing a lingering and tender kiss on her lips. "I think that's wrong." He put his hand on her stomach and said quietly, "We created this life together. Shouldn't we both be here when our baby enters the world?"

Gabrielle sighed and mumbled, "And hopefully that will be soon."

Despite his calm appearance, Enjolras was spectacularly nervous on the inside. He was going to be a father; in just a few hours (hopefully) they would see their baby. He had no idea what it was going to feel like, or how he would react, but his stomach was in knots just thinking about it. For now, though, it took all of his concentration to help Gabrielle, and try to ease her pain in any way he could. He did whatever she wanted him to, whether it was rub her back or hold her up as she leaned against him. It was strangely intimate, touching her so gently, and whispering in her ear, though he wasn't sure if she actually knew what he was saying at all.

It was obvious the contractions were getting more intense by the time he sent for Joly, though things obviously weren't moving exceptionally quickly. It was now after four in the afternoon, and it was mid-morning when the labor had really started. Enjolras had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

There was soon a knock on the door, and Enjolras opened it to Joly and Musichetta on the other side, both looking anxious.

"Is everything alright so far? Her bag of waters hasn't broken, has it?" Joly asked, shaking Enjolras' hand formally.

"She isn't bleeding...and what in the world does that mean?" Enjolras asked.

Joly waved his question away. "Never mind! You'll know when it does, believe me. I'll just go examine her then." Joly marched into the bedroom and shut the door, and Enjolras sighed, looking sidelong at Musichetta. It was the first time he had left Gabrielle all day and he suddenly felt exhausted.

"Have you eaten, Enjolras?" Musichetta asked kindly. "You need to take care of yourself, keep your own strength up. I can fix something for you, if you'd like."

"There's no need, I'm really not hungry. Thank you, though."

"It wasn't really a question, actually," Musichetta informed him, and took off her coat, hanging it in the hallway. "I'll be in the kitchen. Yell if you need me."

Enjolras watched her walk away and shrugged, about to enter the bedroom again when another knock sounded on the door. He opened it to find Marius, Cosette, and the baby bundled up warmly in his mother's arms.

Marius grinned when he saw Enjolras. "Henri's making the rounds," he immediately explained. "You were there with us, so we thought it only fitting we hurry over."

Enjolras laughed and embraced his friend. "Thank you for coming. I'm sure Gabrielle will be happy to have you here, Cosette. Joly is in there with her now, and Musichetta is making some dinner in the kitchen."

"How is Gabrielle? And you, Enjolras?" Cosette asked, her bright blue eyes showing gentle concern.

"Gabrielle is...incredible," Enjolras said in a clear tone of admiration. "But it will probably be quite a bit longer. And I'm fine."

Marius grinned and took in his appearance. "Damn, I can't find anything to really tease you about yet. You look very calm."

Enjolras smiled wryly. "Don't worry, you'll probably have your chance for revenge later."

Joly soon opened the bedroom door, leaving it open just a little bit. "Everything seems to be absolutely fine, Enjolras. I think it will still be quite some time, unfortunately, but so far, everything looks normal."

"Thank you, Joly." Enjolras went back into the bedroom and closed the door, and, heedless to whoever should walk in next, crawled onto the bed next to his wife, abandoning all pretenses of modesty. He wrapped his arms around Gabrielle and buried his face in her neck, kissing her warm skin gently.

Gabrielle laughed and playfully tugged at his curls. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I am." He kissed her again and pulled away to look at her. "I'm glad you're alright. Joly says everything seems normal. I think you're absolutely incredible. No man I know could endure this kind of pain."

"Thank you." Gabrielle looked up at a soft knock on the door. Musichetta didn't wait for an answer and opened it to poke her head in.

"Enjolras, come eat your dinner. Cosette and I will stay with Gabrielle for a bit."

Enjolras sighed and looked down at Gabrielle. "Do you mind, love? I won't be long."

"No, not at all. Go," she urged.

He disentangled their limbs and rose, leaving the room silently. Joly and Marius were both standing in the hall, and Joly smiled at him contemplatively as he closed the door behind him.

"You, my friend, have changed," he remarked.

Enjolras shrugged and picked up his discarded jacket from the back of a chair, sliding it over his arms. "And is that a bad thing, Joly?"

"Absolutely not, mon ami. I just never imagined I would see you be so tender and loving with a woman. A woman having your baby, come to say. In fact, if someone told me two years ago that I would live to see this day, I would have laughed in their face. Combeferre would have told them they were crazy, and Grantaire would have asked for whatever they were drinking."

Marius just laughed and nodded in agreement.

Enjolras chuckled and admitted, "I wouldn't have believed it, either. Strange what time does to you."

"Strange what a good woman does to you."

The night passed slowly, and Enjolras was beginning to think it would absolutely never end. Gabrielle was clearly exhausted, and even in the dim candlelight that lit the room, Enjolras could see the dark circles under her eyes. She had begun to cry out in pain with each contraction, and her low moans of misery were beginning to drive him mad. He didn't know what to do, especially since Joly kept saying that the time just hadn't quite come for her to push yet, even though each pain was only a few minutes apart, at most. He desperately wanted to help her, to take the pain away, or speed things up, but there was absolutely nothing he could do. He hated feeling so helpless.

After a particularly painful contraction that left Gabrielle so tired she could barely speak, Musichetta pushed him gently from the room. "Enjolras, you need to go have a stiff drink," she commanded gently. "Come back in a few minutes when you're feeling a bit less frazzled. I don't want Gabrielle to worry about you." She closed the door in his face before he could respond and Enjolras sighed, running a hand through his hair.

He rarely drank, but the idea did seem appealing at the moment. He would indulge in just enough to take the edge off. He went into the library to find both Marius and Joly dozing on the sofa, but they soon woke at the sound of bottles clanking as Enjolras searched for a bottle of whiskey in the cabinet.

"How is she, Enjolras? It doesn't sound like it will be long now," Marius said with a yawn.

"I don't know how women do this," Enjolras said quietly. "And I can sure as hell tell you that I will do everything I can to have this not happen again." He had decided a few hours ago that a baby was definitely not worth all of this pain and agony. He couldn't put his wife through this again. He actually felt guilty.

Marius smiled and gestured to the couch. "Sit down and rest. Are you looking for some whiskey?" he asked knowingly, and Enjolras nodded.

Marius took his place to look and soon found the bottle and three glasses. He had just started to pour when Enjolras snapped, "Only two. Joly's not drinking. I need him sober enough to actually deliver this baby when it decides to come."

Joly nodded reassuringly. "Whatever you say, Chief. I most certainly won't drink on the job."

Marius handed him a glass and grinned when Enjolras knocked it back in one gulp, feeling satisfied at the way it burned going down his throat. After two more glasses, he felt a bit better, and Marius helpfully cut him off, knowing what a lightweight he was.

I'm only going to close my eyes for a moment, Enjolras thought, and rested his head against the back of the sofa. He must have drifted off, for the next thing he was aware of was being woken up by a piercing scream. He jumped up, still half asleep, and rubbed at his eyes before he remembered what was actually happening. Marius was still asleep in a chair, but Joly was nowhere to be seen. Another scream ripped through the air, only this time Gabrielle was screaming his name.

He jumped into action and sprinted to the bedroom, practically flying through the door. Gabrielle was on her knees on the floor, leaning against the bed. "'Chetta," she called desperately, "Please, please...oh, God, I think I'm dying." She grasped at the bedpost, her knuckles white.

Enjolras felt his heart stop as he rushed to her side. He knelt next to her and smoothed her hair. "I'm sorry, Gabrielle, I fell asleep," he said quietly. She glanced at him and managed a small smile, trying to reassure him, before her face crumbled in pain again.

She suddenly gasped and reached out to grab his arm. He helped steady her and looked up at Musichetta helplessly. "Is she alright? Is this normal?" he asked Musichetta wildly.

Musichetta nodded and pressed a damp cloth to Gabrielle's forehead. "Yes, Enjolras, it's normal. It's just very close to the end. She's going to need to push soon."

"Oh," he mumbled. He looked around and noticed Joly and Cosette getting things ready. Joly was obsessively cleaning his instruments, even the ones he was unlikely to use, and Cosette was laying towels on the bed.

Gabrielle suddenly cried out again and said frantically, "Something is wrong! I can't...oh, God, there's blood. Antoine, there's blood!" Gabrielle lifted her hand from between her legs and Enjolras froze in horror. Her fingers were covered in blood. He looked down at the floor and saw more blood slowly spreading across the floorboards, much more blood than last time.

He squeezed his eyes shut as an image of the barricade suddenly sprang into his mind, seeing the blood soaked cobblestone streets, hearing the screams of his dying friends that sounded too much like the sounds of suffering that currently escaped Gabrielle.

"Get her on the bed, Enjolras! Now," Joly commanded, immediately springing into action to hastily spread more towels.

Enjolras only hesitated a moment before scooping Gabrielle into his arms, blood staining his shirt, arms, and hands. He laid her as gently as he could on the bed, close to the edge where Joly was, and sat next to her, keeping his arms firmly around her shoulders and helping her sit up. She had begun to cry and clung to his arms, writhing in pain. Her eyes were cloudy and her face already incredibly pale.

"Please, please, Antoine...please, make it stop," she pleaded, and Enjolras pressed his lips to her forehead.

"It's going to be alright, Gabrielle," he said soothingly, though he felt like his heart was being ripped in two. His greatest nightmare was coming true before his eyes, and he didn't know what to do.

Joly was calm, his hands steady as he examined Gabrielle. He looked up at Enjolras and said quietly, "She's hemorrhaging, which is just a way to say she's bleeding and I don't know why. I have two options, Enjolras."

Musichetta moved to Gabrielle's other side and took her hand, Enjolras noticed, and for a moment, Musichetta and Gabrielle's eyes met. He saw an understanding pass between them and Enjolras gritted his teeth, possessively tightening his hold on his wife.

"She can push, and try to get the baby out naturally. Neither of them may survive, I don't know, with all of this blood. I can't say. It's time for her to push, anyway, though. Or..." Joly took a deep breath, as if steeling himself to say something difficult, and said in a rush, "Or I can operate. Gabrielle won't make it through, Enjolras, she's losing too much blood. But I think I could save the baby."

Musichetta immediately said forcefully, "Save the baby. It's what she wants."

Enjolras froze and glared at Musichetta. He knew if looks could kill, she would be dead on the floor.

"I agree," Cosette said quietly, but firmly, and Enjolras turned his head to her next, absolute disbelief on his face. How could they agree to this? How? He noticed Marius standing in the doorway, a look of fear and absolutely pity on his face, and Enjolras felt his blood turning to ice. He couldn't lose her, he absolutely couldn't.

"I'll kill you if you touch her," he growled, and was frightened even of himself in that moment, at the absolute truth of the words he spoke.

"Antoine, please," Gabrielle whispered. "They're right. I told you before, I told you it's what I want. Please, love."

Enjolras fiercely shook his head and took her face in his hands. "No," he said emphatically. "I won't let you do this. I won't. You are going to have this baby now, Gabrielle. You need to find the strength to do this." He realized he was crying, sobbing so hard he could barely speak, but he didn't care.

Gabrielle reached behind his neck and pulled his head down to hers, just barely brushing her lips against his. Her lips felt cold, he realized, and fear gripped his heart.

"Please do this for me, Gabrielle," he said desperately, and she finally nodded, her eyes sad, but resolute. He knew she couldn't refuse him, not in the state he was in, and though he felt guilty for going against her wishes, if there was even the smallest chance she could make it out of this alive this way, he had to take it.

Joly glared at him for a moment, and Musichetta was clearly so angry she couldn't even speak, but Enjolras didn't care.

"Help her sit up, Enjolras. You're going to need to brace her. She needs to concentrate all of her strength on pushing." Enjolras nodded and helped Gabrielle sit up farther. He braced himself halfway behind her back, with Musichetta on her other side, and took her hand, squeezing it gently.

He kissed her damp hair and whispered in her ear, "You can do this, Gabrielle. You have to do this for me. I can't live without you."

"Gabrielle, the next time you feel pain, I need to you to take small breaths and push slowly," Joly instructed her. "Almost as if you're panting. Do you understand?"

Gabrielle nodded, and did as Joly instructed. She suddenly screamed, however, losing control in the midst of her anguish, and Enjolras winced, her grip on his hand strong enough to leave bruises. He noticed more blood on the towels in front of Joly and began praying silently, to a God he didn't even believe in, to whatever higher powers there were, to keep Gabrielle safe.

Joly was concentrating intently and said sharply, "'Cosette, I need another towel! Gabrielle, keep going, just keep going. There's no turning back now. Push again!"

Enjolras gently encouraged her, trying not to let her feel his fright. He whispered in her ear and helped her sit up farther; he could tell she was quickly losing strength. Enjolras looked at Joly with wild eyes, but his friend was focused on his wife.

"Please, please..." Gabrielle gasped.

"Joly, do something!" Enjolras finally roared. He couldn't stand to see her like this, and feel so absolutely powerless. He was going to lose her, lose both of them, and he knew he wouldn't live through the guilt of losing anyone else he loved.

"Shh, Gabrielle, you're doing fine, everything is alright," he said softly, trying to reassure her. "You need to push, my love, it will be over soon..."

"Good, Gabrielle!" Joly suddenly exclaimed, a smile on his face. "The baby's head is out! The hardest part is over. You're almost there!"

Enjolras felt another sob escape his chest at Joly's words. Gabrielle bore down again, and again, weaker each time, and suddenly, Joly was holding a tiny, bloody baby in his hands. There was no sound, from either the baby or Gabrielle, and Enjolras felt her head roll limply to his shoulder. He gently laid Gabrielle back on the bed, his fear building to panic as he realized her eyes were closed. She wasn't responding, her skin pallid and lips almost blue. He knew she had lost an incredible amount of blood...probably too much.

"Gabrielle!" he screamed her name over and over and shook her lifeless body wildly. "Joly, you need to help her!" he yelled, and looked frantically around the room. Joly ignored him, and Enjolras felt as though he had been punched in the gut when he saw the equally helpless and limp form of his baby between Joly's hands. "Oh God," he whispered. "What have I done?"

"Get him out of here!" Musichetta screamed at Marius, who was still standing helplessly in the doorway. Enjolras soon felt himself being forcibly half dragged and half carried across the room. Tears blurred his vision and the bedroom door suddenly slammed in his face.

Marius stared at him, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. Enjolras fell to his knees, his head in his hands, and prayed. There was nothing else he could do.

Hi.

...

Yeah, I went there.

Got pretty dramatic and intense.

...

Is she dead?

...dunno. Guess you'll have to REVIEW this chapter (please!) and wait patiently until the next to see who survives! (Hell, even Enjolras isn't safe.)

Happy ending? Bittersweet ending? Who knows. Muahahahahaha. :)

~Aimee