Chapter Twelve

I've been in two minds whether to take this any further. However there is a little bit more of the story I would like to tell. Thanks to you for your lovely reviews.

Caroline woke to the sound of a screaming baby. She rolled over and looked at the time; 3.40. She felt for Kate across the bed but the space was cold and empty. She struggled out of bed and shuffled her way over to the nursery. Kate was breastfeeding Grace and Flora was lying beside her on the lounge whilst her exhausted mother tried to rub her tummy and pacify her. She stopped for a moment to take in the picture; if she had any spiritual inclination, seeing her beloved and beautiful wife feeding her child, was deeply moving, almost transcendent.

"Kate, why didn't you get me up?"

"Caroline, you have to go back to work today, you need your rest. We'll be OK."

Caroline whisked Flora up and over her shoulder soothing her as she walked around the room. The thought of leaving this little family and going back to work was something she had been dreading in one way, but looking forward to in another. She had gone into full organisational mode when they came home from hospital. There were lists and formulas for just about everything. Flora was dressed in either yellow or white and Grace in pink or blue; as they were identical, it was difficult to decide who was who in a hurry. Kate would alternate breast and bottle for each baby and Caroline had reckoned 'colour coding' was the answer. Kate was resistant at first and reminded her wife that this was a nursery not a school sports team! However she had to admit after a while that it did make things easier.

But, amidst all the lovely mushiness of the situation, Caroline had days when she thought her brain was on a downhill slide and she longed for some stimulation. Three weeks parental leave was finishing this weekend and she would be back to school full swing on Monday morning.

Ginika had been a great help for the two weeks she was there. Caroline appreciated the chance to get to know her and she was reminded daily where Kate got her calmness and kindness from. The woman had a fine mind and Caroline had enjoyed the times they had managed an hour or two of chat about all things academic.

Ginika opened up a lot of history about their family that Kate had only ever alluded to. She was able to paint a clearer picture. She also took the opportunity to share how unhappy Kate had been at times when things weren't good between her and Caroline, who as she listened felt a familiar regret and guilt creep up inside her again. There were no excuses, she told her mother in law, and a promise that she would cherish and protect Kate in the future.

Gillian had been doing a few hours a week to familiarise herself with their routine, but from Monday she would be there three full days which was a consolation for the headmistress.

Monday morning arrived and the inevitable goodbyes. Gillian and Kate stood at the door, each with a baby in their arms, to wave off Lawrence and his mum.

Around three o'clock in the afternoon there was a knock at the door. Kate had gone for a nap, and so Gillian answered it.

"Gillian, Hi, how are you?"

"John what the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to pick Lawrence up to take him out for tea and I'm just a bit early. Can I come in?" he asked as he pushed past her.

"You're in aren't you; I don't think either Caroline or Kate would like this."

"Yes, well they aren't here by the look of it."

"Kate's just having a quick nap but she'll be up in half an hour as I'm due to go home then."

John walked over to the two capsules and looked at the twins. "My, two of them eh; cute aren't they? but I don't think Caroline would have signed up for this. I always wanted a little girl you know but she wouldn't have any more children and now she's lumbered with these two. What a crazy mess she's got herself into. I bet she really regrets it."

What John couldn't have known was that Kate had woken up when the door bell went and had heard every word John said. It cut her to the core and filled her with her old insecurities about Caroline not wanting a baby. She decided not to go downstairs, just to listen. Caroline had phoned her to say she was leaving on the final bell and would be home in about twenty five minutes. Kate wanted to leave the prey in the trap for her to finish off.

Caroline drove up to the house and immediately noticed the green BMW in the drive. 'Shit, what the hell is he doing here' she muttered to herself as Lawrence said, "Looks like dad's here Ma."

"Yes I can see that" was all she could muster.

She strode in through the front door; walked over to the babies and kissed them both. She turned to Gillian, "Hi, how's everything been today?" completely ignoring John.

Gillian looked at Caroline and then John. "It's er been fine, they've been fine, Kate's having a nap."

"No she's not, she's up and ecstatic to see her wife home from work." Kate shouted a she came down the stairs; walking over to Caroline and kissing her as passionately as she felt she could in public.

"How are you darling?" Caroline asked as she let go of her.

"We've all had a good day; these two seem to love their aunty Gillian," nodding towards the babies.

Caroline looked at Gillian, "I suppose John is in the house at your invitation?"

"Well not really, he sort of invited himself; he said he was early to pick up Lawrence." She felt rather defensive about that insinuation.

Caroline turned to her son as he rummaged through the fridge. "Lawrence did you tell your father I was going back to work today?"

"I might have, he was asking me all kinds of questions."

"Did you also tell him that Gillian would be helping with the babies?"

Before he could answer, she turned her gaze to John. "God you are so transparent. Lawrence hurry up love and get changed, I think dad might be in a hurry, I can't think why else he would be so early."

Kate could barely conceal the grin she felt forming. She was always amazed at how quick witted Caroline was and how she could deliver a damaging blow with so few words. She thanked god she had rarely been on the receiving end of it.

Lawrence left the room. "Now look here Caroline, you can't treat me like this. I have right to see my family."

She said nothing; just stared at him.

Kate seized her moment. "John seems to think, from what he said to Gillian, that you've got yourself lumbered with twin babies and it's a crazy mess that you probably wish you weren't in."

Gillian looked at the floor and said nothing. Caroline walked over to John and stood in his space. "This is why you can never be trusted, drunk or sober. You are hell bent on causing trouble. Fortunately for me I have a beautiful wife who knows that I adore my two daughters, my life was only ever a mess with you and if anyone or anything is crazy it's you. Now I suggest you wait for your son in the car. In future you can pick him up straight from school. Now leave and don't come back."

John knew there was no sense in protesting and simply walked out, looking at Caroline with a sinister glare.

Gillian left after ten minutes and Lawrence took off with John. His mother always had a niggling fear that her son was not altogether safe in the care of his father, but for his sake she needed to keep that to herself.

"Listen," Kate said softly. "No sound except the gentle breathing of the babies. We haven't had this stillness since I came home; it's just you and me." They each carried a baby up the stairs and put them in the nursery. Caroline took off her work clothes and lay on the bed next to Kate. It was indeed a rare moment of aloneness. Caroline kissed the top of her wife's head and stroked her face.

"I'm sorry if he hurt you Kate, you must know that I don't feel that way at all."

"I do, but he can still churn me up sometimes with the things he says and implies. You were magnificent, the way you handled him." Kate chuckled as she said it.

They both knew as they lay soaking up the solitude and calm, these moment would be rare until the twins were able to sleep longer at night. Kate's stitches were healing well and she whispered that it wouldn't be long before they could resume their love making. After William, Caroline had taken three weeks to heal up, a fact that had caused John to get very restless and frustrated. What a contrast she thought, she could never conceive of hurrying Kate or making her feel guilty. She knew it would be more than worth the wait when they were able to.

"Caroline, I've been thinking, how would you feel if we organise a naming day celebration for the twins?"

"Sure, I'm fine with that, what did you have in mind?"

"Well just a simple ceremony with a celebrant and all our family and close friends. We would have to think of Godparents and choose who we want for that. Then there's the question of Greg."

"What about Greg?" Caroline asked quizzically.

"Well remember when I phoned him to tell him about their birth, he did ask if it would be possible to see them; what do you think?"

"Wow, well that's a can of worms Kate. I thought you said he was never going to be part of the equation."

"I did yes, but you know Caroline, you and I are so secure with each other and our babies' birth certificates have your name as parent, I don't think we have anything to fear from him."

"Can I think about it for a while?"

Kate nodded in agreement and let the matter drop for the moment. Caroline however was transported back to the night in the hotel for Kate's birthday. It was a memory that still haunted her, especially if she felt vulnerable in any way. She had seen a steely determination in Kate that quite shocked her. Greg had come across as a complete jerk, with verbal diarrhoea. It had not occurred to her at the time that this was his expression of nervousness, until Kate explained that to her only recently.

"He's a really decent man Caroline. If anything he comes across as an idiot and socially awkward, but he's really quite a simple and sincere man. He's true to his word and would never do anything to hurt me."

After a few days of discussion they agreed on a naming ceremony. Kate asked if Issy could be one of the 'godparents' as they had decided to call them, despite not being religious they both felt more comfortable with the traditional term. There had been lots of discussing and pros and cons, eventually deciding on Issy and William for Flora and Greg and Gillian for Grace. Kate had invited Greg to come over for dinner the coming weekend to discuss it with him.

The decision to involve Greg had not come easily for Caroline. On some days in her mind, he was just a jerk, but on her worst days she could only think of the pain she had felt knowing that Kate was in bed having sex with him, that Saturday night she had left the hotel. She would just have to trust Kate that it wasn't going to end up in a catastrophe.

Issy was over the moon to be asked and the date for the naming had been set for two months time, to accommodate her weekend off. She too was coming this weekend to see the babies and her beloved Katie.

Saturday came around quickly, almost too quickly for Caroline. She knew it could be hard for her on a couple of scores but she was determined to be open to them both. It helped that the night before, knowing that Caroline was tense; Kate had felt ready for some gentle love making and reconnecting. It was glorious and wonderful and Caroline took great comfort from it for today.

At two o'clock Kate opened the door as she heard a car pull up in the driveway. She ran outside and into the open arms of Issy. They hugged each other for some moments and then Issy let go and hurried over to Caroline.

"Caroline, it's so good to see you both. Thanks for inviting me up, I'm so looking forward to seeing the babies."

They went indoors and not two minutes later there was a whimpering follow by a full blown cry as one of them woke up. "That's probably Gracie, she usually wakes up first and sets her sister off." Caroline said over her shoulder as she started up the stairs to fetch her.

"You go up with her Issy and bring the other one down." Issy kissed Kate on the forehead, "You're still very beautiful." And then took off after Caroline.

The three women spent the next couple of hours talking and laughing, sharing all their news. Lawrence came home from Rugby during this time, with Angus. "Ma, OK if Angus stays over?"

"Of course is it."

Then, as naturally as it was becoming for him, he turned to Kate; "Ok with you too Kate? I know you've got friends here."

"Lawrence I'm more than happy, in fact I'd like you two to meet Issy, my very dear friend who's up from London for the weekend."

The boys shook hands with her and then cleared off into Lawrence's bedroom, not before having a look at the babies and rubbing their little fingers.

At four thirty there was the sound of another set of wheels in the driveway. Kate said, "Oh that will be Greg," and walked outside to greet him. Moments later they walked through the door, Greg was ushered over to the twins and he took his time picking each of them up and cuddling them. He looked first at Kate and then Caroline; "Thank you," he mouthed.

His eyes then turned to Issy. Kate saw something in them as he looked at her, that she had seen herself twenty years earlier.