Naruto stood there as his father and mother hated on him.
"We hate you Naruto." They both said. Because that is what Naruto's parents would do if they were still alive to raise him. Obviously.
"Also your mother is a whore." His mother said.
"Yah, no food for a month either, hear me?" Naruto's father said unreasonably. "And if you eat... that's a million lashings! That's on top of the hundred thousand we give you anyway!" He threatened.
"Don't let us catch you talking to your sister either." His mother warned. "You'll ruin her like you ruin everything!" She kicked him in the balls. "We love her, not you. Understand?"
Naruto collapsed from the pain in his testicles. He started to dry heave.
"And son," His father said. "The priest who we know molest you wants you to come to his house tonight." His father nodded to himself. "You will not fight back, will you?"
"No." Naruto said in between heaves.
"Good. We want you to be a mentally scarred as possible and have no chance at living a normal life ever." He paused thoughtfully. "We saw him at the giant dildo emporium yesterday, so we know he has something special planned." His father kicked him in the balls.
This time Naruto threw up. His parents watched on impassively.
"We also threw out all of your stuff. We needed to make room for all the stuff we bought for your sister, who we love." His father rubbed in. "We set it on fire and the dumped the ashes in acid, so don't bother looking for them."
"We did buy you a bed of spikes though, so you'll have a place to sleep." His mother added. "When your not in the iron maiden of course." She kicked him in balls.
Blood started flowing from his eyes and he was afraid he might actually be dieing.
"We hate you." They said.
And everyone lived happily ever after.