'Don't you think we should be home, running some more tests?' Kevin asked Patrick, wondering for the 100th time why he let himself get talked into Patrick's impulsive decisions over and over again.
'Shhh. I hate this bit. The crow is about to fly to the window. And it's rude to talk at the movies' Patrick shushed him, whispering. Kevin turned to stare at him. Seriously?
'Patrick, everyone here is talking. They're reciting the bloody script for God's sake.'
'Oh shit. Here it comes. Oh my fucking god. Every time. I swear. I know it's coming...but every fucking time it scares the shit out of me.' Patrick laughed, still whispering though.
'Did I tell you I don't like horror movies?' Kevin leaned over to whisper, very loudly, in Patrick's ear. Patrick elbowed him away, so Kevin sat back resignedly in his chair. The things he did for this man. It quite boggled his mind. But somehow, today had become Patrick's day. The day when everything he asked for seemed finally to be happening, and he was so delighted and so giddy with joy that Kevin just couldn't deny him anything. Even though they should be at home, running more tests so that tomorrow, at GaymerX they would have a product that actually stood a chance of actually working. A point he'd tried repeatedly to make throughout the day, but which Patrick was in no mood to hear.
So here they were, celebrating their 'coming out' at work by watching a re-run of a god-awful classic horror movie, in a theatre packed with horror fans, screeching and hollering at the screen. This was a very interactive performance it would seem. Kevin closed his eyes and leaned his head back. He really did hate horror movies. If he could just slip in his earbuds he could take a quick nap and use this time productively, but Patrick would probably have an opinion about that too.
He was on a roll today though. Since Patrick had persuaded Kevin that he should turn up at work wearing that sweater, there'd been no looking back. Kevin needed to remember that he was always at his weakest in the mornings, after sex with Patrick. Actually any time after sex with Patrick he was pretty much putty in the man's hands, and Patrick was coming to realize that unfortunately.
Patrick had been adorable this morning. He'd tried to make Kevin breakfast in bed which was ridiculously sweet, even though it had all ended up on the floor and they had to ultimately spend almost ten minutes clearing the mess up, mopping up the granola sodden with sticky coffee, chasing the fucking goji berries from under the bed, vacuuming all the shards of broken cups. Still...the thought was what counted and it had been very very touching. Patrick had woken up with an abundance of energy, probably because he was giddy with excitement about the conference on Saturday, and also because he'd slept like the dead the night before. He'd passed out on the sofa, curled into Kevin while they mindlessly watched comedy central shows. They were both exhausted, having spent late nights fucking like they'd just discovered sex, while also attempting to finish the app, trying to get it ready for it's grand unveiling, and Patrick had finally declared programming DONE. It was what it was, and they couldn't keep fiddling with it. Kevin agreed...somewhat, so he'd carried on doing some last minute checks while Patrick slept against him. Eventually, he'd half dragged half pushed a mostly-comatose Patrick to bed before washing up and joining him. Of course as soon as Patrick felt Kevin cuddle up behind him, he woke up just enough to ask for sleepy sex, which Kevin was happy to oblige with.
Sleepy sex had been a lot of fun. Patrick was lazy and pliable, and Kevin enjoyed stripping him naked, like unwrapping a lovely present, he enjoyed the unhurried, slow build to orgasm, rocking himself into Patrick, watching Patrick lie back, eyes closed, with a dreamy half smile on his face, his sighs deep and even. Only towards the end, almost as if caught by surprise, Patrick's eyes widened and he'd suddenly come to life, clutching at Kevin's arms, his shoulders, pulling Kevin's head down for a deep deep kiss, gasping into his mouth as Kevin stroked him to orgasm. Then Patrick pretty much lay back and fell asleep while Kevin sighed and cleaned him up as best he could. He'd regret letting him sleep without washing up in the morning, but he didn't have the heart to wake his poor baby up, especially as it was one of those rare moments were Patrick was knocked out after sex as opposed to being energized and chatty, and Kevin realized he would be able to get some sleep too without having to pretend to listen.
Note to self, though. He really needed to insist Patrick at least brushed his teeth before bed.
'Your breath is terrible' he'd told Patrick this morning, as Patrick lay on top of him, probably thinking that he was getting to watch Kevin sleeping as he lazily drew gentle circles on his shoulder. Patrick had ordered him to go back to sleep, which he was only too happy to do, until he was woken by the crashing of plates and cups on the floor.
'Leave it. Come to bed...' Kevin had coaxed Patrick as he started to clean up. He wanted Patrick back beside him, on top of him, in bed with him.
'YOU in bed is all I need' he'd half joked as Patrick fell on him and started raining minty-fresh kisses on his mouth. He was sooooo excited about the conference. His joy was irrepressible. Not even Kevin's slightly anxious concerns about their readiness was getting him down, and Kevin was impressed. He would have thought Patrick would be a bit of a nervous wreck about it, but...he was surprisingly confident and happy. It was nice. And what was also nice were Patrick's wandering magical fingers, that were sweeping up and down his body as he talked about the conference. They had a very predictable effect, especially as Patrick casually played with his nipple. He was so...proprietary about Kevin's body now. He had taken full ownership and pretty much did what he wanted with it, and that made Kevin really fucking happy. To have Patrick draped across him, playing with his body...fucking heaven. Enough about the fucking conference.
'Well, I'm excited too' Kevin told Patrick, smirking cheekily. Patrick looked down to where his hand was grazing Kevin's obviously growing cock, and he smiled.
'Clearly' he said, low, seductively, before rolling back onto Kevin and taking 'matters' into his own hands. Almost as a continuation of last night's sleepy sex, Patrick had taken his time stroking and nuzzling Kevin, driving him crazy with his lapping tongue and teasing fingers. He'd moved down Kevin's body slowly, deliberately kissing every inch of skin he could access lovingly, maddeningly...slowly. Too fucking slowly. Kevin was panting, trying his hardest to stop himself from shoving Patrick's head down himself, when Patrick finally gave the first tiniest lick to Kevin's aching cock. Followed by long, languid licks...but still no mouth. Kevin really really wanted his mouth on him. He was about to beg when...ahhhh. Patrick took him deep inside and started sucking.
'Fuck...that's fucking...so good.' Kevin gasped, and then that was the last thing he said until he shot his cum down Patrick's throat. He lay dazed and replete, contemplating what a lovely thing it was to be woken by your lover bringing you breakfast in bed, even if you didn't get to eat it.
'I'm sorry. I should have warned you. I know it's not something you love to do.' Kevin said sleepily, as he stroked Patrick's head, laying on his stomach.
'I don't mind. I actually...well...I like it. When you cum like that. It's hot.' Patrick murmured, as he pressed kisses onto Kevin's belly.
'And a lot less messy' Kevin noted. Patrick laughed.
So, morning sex with Patrick meant that when he saw Patrick wearing his Gant sweater, the very same sweater Patrick had mocked a mere few weeks earlier, Kevin was already predisposed to agree to whatever Patrick wanted. And Patrick wanted to make a statement. No more 'courtesy gap', no more strategies of how to unveil their relationship...today was the day. He might pretend that it wasn't a big deal, that maybe no one would even notice...after all they worked at MDG, in video games, with mostly heterosexual men and less-than-stylish women. Who would recognize Kevin's sweater? Well, as Kevin had known all too fucking well, despite Patrick's feeble attempted dismissal, everyone. And Patrick had fucking well known it too.
Still, Kevin couldn't lie to himself. It wasn't just what Patrick wanted. He was more than ready for everyone to know as well. He wanted to be able to refer to Patrick as his boyfriend. To hold his hand in public, to go to restaurants together that he liked, to walk about the city freely, as a couple, to move forward. And the first step was in going public at work.
Patrick had actually been pretty smart about the way to handle it. Turning up casually in Kevin's clothes had been an effective way to make a statement without using words, and without making a big dramatic declaration. There had been some raised eyebrows, some surprise on poor Owen's part who seemed to feel a little betrayed, and possibly uncomfortable about the dynamic now between himself, his friend and his friend's boyfriend who also happened to be his boss. That might be a little problematic. But as Patrick said, the gay genie was now out of fucking bottle, and Kevin felt relieved.
He had a brief conversation with HR, who had been alerted almost immediately by Patrick's co-worker Meredith, but he knew that MDG wouldn't make a big fuss about this. He himself was too senior and too key a figure in this project, and Patrick, well he wouldn't let them do anything to Patrick. Kevin knew MDG would have to be doubly cautious about how they would handle this given that this was the first gay interoffice relationship they had to deal with. They wouldn't want there to be even a hint of discrimination, so Kevin knew that he could pretty much dictate the terms of how this situation would be handled. Still he had a responsibility to the company that had treated him so well, and to the team that he had come to like and respect, so...he would have to handle the HR aspect with care. And he didn't want anyone being able to accuse Patrick of getting favors or being treated differently. Again, he realized that he didn't really care what anyone accused HIM of, but he was very protective of Patrick.
Kevin had felt a brief moment of panic as he had hung up with HR, looking out of his office to see Patrick working at his computer. He had broken so many rules with Patrick, and he couldn't bring himself to care about them very much. The guilt he felt for deceiving Jon and breaking his heart...it paled in comparison to the strength of feeling he felt for Patrick. But, one thing did scare him. Being so vulnerable. Having someone's happiness be so important to him. He had known all his life that it wasn't wise, and he'd been able to avoid it. And now that he was here, so completely fucking in love with a man who hadn't even been able to say the words back to him, with a man who still, at moments, seemed like he didn't fully believe in Kevin's declaration, as if it was a temporary affliction that Kevin would get over...No. That wasn't fair to Patrick. After that brief freak-out brought on by Megan's texts, Patrick hadn't shown any signs of doubt, or any hesitation in lavishing his affection on Kevin. He had to stop worrying about that. And as for the words...Patrick would say them when he was ready. They were only words after all. Actions spoke louder than words, and all of Patrick's actions these past few days had been those of a man in love. Kevin couldn't be mistaken about that.
Being vulnerable was part of being in love, and Kevin would have to trust...no, DID trust, that he was safe in Patrick's hands. Still, in that moment of panic he had envisioned a future where Patrick turned away from him, turned into that distant Patrick that Kevin hadn't been able to get through to, not until Patrick chose to let him. The Patrick that had sudden breaking points, fault lines that Kevin couldn't see or predict and had ended up tripping over. That first time in the office, the night of the Folsom Street fair, where Patrick had decided suddenly and unilaterally that their flirting relationship was over. Then afterwards, before the Russian River, where Patrick had run hot and cold, one minute all over Kevin and then the next, acting like they were polite strangers. And of course most recently, when he had again decided with no warning that having an affair was no longer acceptable and had basically given Kevin half a day in which to end his relationship of two years. Each time Patrick had been totally within his rights to act as he had, but...it was still a little alarming to Kevin that Patrick was able to turn away from him without suffering particularly deeply. What other fault lines did Patrick have that he hadn't stumbled on yet? Fuck it...this was pointless and stupid. Kevin was probably just panicking because this had suddenly become real and public and he would have to face people's censure and know there was gossip. That was probably all. Kevin could trust Patrick. Patrick wouldn't have let things go this far if he didn't love Kevin, if he wasn't invested in this. He just wouldn't have. Kevin had to calm the fuck down.
He stared at Patrick through the glass walls of his office, and as if Patrick could sense him, Patrick turned and looked straight back at him. He smiled, and pointed secretly to the infamous sweater, winking at Kevin and giving him the 'ok' sign. Kevin smiled back, and picked up his phone.
'plans tonight?' Kevin texted his boyfriend. He watched him read the text and grin.
'movie at castro. omen. date night.' Patrick texted back. Kevin rolled his eyes and shook his head, clearly enough so Patrick could see.
'1st night public hiding in theatre?' Kevin texted back, really really hoping Patrick would reconsider...but Patrick just kept grinning and went back to work.
So here they were, in the movie theatre because that's what Patrick wanted, and Kevin liked doing things that Patrick wanted. And the panic was over because Patrick was...so fucking happy.
Kevin's eyes remained closed and his mind was wandering back over the details of the day when he felt Patrick's hand on his thigh. Squeezing and stroking. Not by accident. He turned his head to look at Patrick, but Patrick was staring at the screen. Ok. Kevin considered his options. He wasn't a teenager, and hadn't made out in a movie theatre since he'd been one, but if Patrick was game...Kevin pulled his jacket from behind him and draped it over his lap, covering Patrick's hand. Patrick smiled, still staring at the screen. His hand crept up until it covered Kevin's hardening cock, and Kevin stifled a moan, as Patrick began slowly rubbing him, over his jeans. Had it felt this good as a teenager? Kevin could barely remember. Patrick was unzipping his pants and his hand was burrowing inside, finding it's way through the opening in Kevin's briefs to finally grasp Kevin firmly. Still staring straight ahead, but no longer smiling. Patrick's mouth was open, and he was biting and licking his lips as he started stroking Kevin, who was mesmerized by the sight of Patrick's face. Fuck. He wanted that mouth.
Kevin leaned over and nuzzled Patrick's ear, licking it lightly. Patrick looked straight ahead. Kevin kissed Patrick's neck, sucking gently at the soft soft skin, breathing in his scent as he moved one hand to Patrick's head, his fingers gripping his hair, the other hand moving high on Patrick's thigh which he began squeezing rhythmically in time with Patrick's firm strokes. He gasped in Patrick's ear, and Patrick started panting. Seconds later Patrick gave in and turned his head to grab greedily at Kevin's mouth. Suddenly coming to the movies seemed like the best idea Patrick had ever had.
Hot, wet kisses, with Patrick slanting his mouth against Kevin's, forcing his lips apart with his tongue as he tried to get as deep into Kevin's mouth as he could, practically devouring him, while he tossed Kevin off under the jacket. Kevin brought his other hand up to cup Patrick's face as they kissed, stroking his smooth skin with his fingertips, gripping Patrick's shoulder as he started panting heavily into Patrick's mouth.
It was so good. He came so fucking hard. Completely silently. All over his jacket. He'd never hesitate to come to the movies again.
As Kevin's breathing slowed and Patrick gentled his kiss, licking and nipping at Kevin's lips, Kevin smiled. He moved his lips to Patrick's ear and whispered,
'Your turn.' Patrick's eyes half closed in anticipation. 'And I really really hope you got some napkins with that popcorn' Kevin continued. Patrick smiled.
Napkins had done an adequate job, but they had had to duck into the bathrooms before they left the theatre, and they both decided that Kevin's jacket was probably not salvageable. That was an expensive hand job, Kevin had commented, reassuring Patrick that it had been totally worth it. Patrick had laughed, unconcerned.
'I didn't get anything on your sweater, just like I promised' He teased Kevin. 'It seems my stupid butterfingers weren't too clumsy tonight.'
'No. Indeed. Your butterfingers were absolutely perfect. And I'm sure the people sitting next to us would completely agree' Kevin assured him. Even that didn't phase Patrick. Nope. Today was Patrick's day and everything was going his way. He linked his fingers with Kevin's as they walked away from the theatre, gently swinging their arms.
'I've wanted to do this for a long time' He stated, staring down at their hands, fingers entwined, his thumb rubbing Kevin's.
'Me too' Kevin said simply.
'What's the first thing you want to do, now that we're publicly 'a thing' as Owen said? And GaymerX doesn't count because no one we know is going to be there' Patrick asked.
Kevin thought for a moment, then just shrugged his shoulders.
'Everything I suppose. Go out for dinner, go to a club...Actually what I'd really like is to get to explore the city more. I didn't do much of that before with...Jon. Work schedules. So, I'd like you to show me around this city you're so crazy about.' Kevin replied, realizing as he said it just how true that was. Patrick loved this city and Kevin wanted to see it through his eyes. Learn it and come to love it too, because it looked like this was going to be home.
'I'd love that' Patrick smiled. 'There's so much I want to show you. It's the greatest city, and even after eight years I'm still finding new things to explore. And we can do that together. And...I'm glad you didn't already do that...with Jon. I mean, I realize there's not going to be very much new for you that you hadn't already done with him, or others before him, but...this city, and I guess, GaymerX...well...those can be just ours.'
Kevin remained silent for a minute, reflecting on Patrick's words. Again, he seemed to be missing something fundamental about the way Kevin felt and Kevin didn't want to let it go. He pulled on Patrick's hand to stop him, turning to face him.
'Listen, I have done things with Jon and with other's before him, but...that doesn't mean those things can't be ours too. It's different with you. I've told you that. So, going to a restaurant I've been to before, or visiting a city again, or just walking in a park I've walked in before, if it's with you, it will be 'ours' and it will be different than when I did it before. Because I'm with you. Ok?' It was very important for Patrick to understand that.
'I know. It's ok. I'm not expecting to avoid every place you've ever been to before you met me just because you were with Jon. But...I'd like to make some new memories with you that don't involve him, because...well...he's a pretty hard act to follow and...' Patrick began to explain. Kevin wasn't sure he'd heard correctly.
'What?' He interrupted Patrick.
'What?' Patrick seemed confused.
'You said Jon was a 'hard act to follow'. What does that mean?'
'Really? I mean...come on, Kevin. I've met the guy. We don't have to pretend that...' Patrick started.
'Hold on. I'm not pretending. About anything.' Kevin broke in, feeling blindsided, again. What the hell was Patrick going on about.
'Kevin, he's a handsome successful doctor who works with world class athletes...'
'And I left him. To be with you. Because the way I feel when I'm with you is the way I want to feel everyday.' Kevin persisted. 'Do you think I compare the two of you? Do you think i've got some sort of list going and whoever comes out on top gets me as the prize?'
'No. Of course not.' Patrick tried to laugh it off, but it was a feeble attempt.
'Are you sure? Because you implied that you somehow had to be better than Jon, like...you had to impress me more. Isn't that what being a hard act to follow means?' Kevin continued. He was NOT going to let this go. Patrick stood there, looking anywhere but at Kevin, chewing his lip nervously. The same lip that Kevin had been licking and kissing just minutes before in the movie theatre. How did this keep happening. One moment being incandescently happy and then the next feeling like he was wading through quicksand.
'Patrick. I want to be with YOU. There is. No. Competition. You don't have to impress me, or win me, or do anything like that that might be going through your head. And I'm not spending every moment comparing each experience I have with you to how it was with Jon. We can live the exact same life I had with him, do the exact same things each and every day, step for step, and it would be a totally different experience with you, and that's what I want. To just experience life, with you.' Kevin emphasized the last, hoping to get through to him.
'I mean, it's not like you're comparing me to Jason, or...Richie, right? That's not how it works, is it?' Kevin continued, and he realized as he asked that, as a supposed rhetorical question, he was actually a little scared to know the answer, and Patrick's continued silence was beginning to freak him out a little. Fuck...was Patrick comparing...Patrick finally looked up at him.
'You're right. I'm sorry. You're absolutely right. I just remember being so impressed when I met him at the park. And I felt like such a little insignificant fool that day, and he was this big, strong, man with that face and that body...I sometimes wonder why you would leave that? What...was missing?'
'Nothing was missing. He's a great guy. The only thing wrong was that he wasn't you. And he never will be.' Kevin put his hands or Patrick's arms and forced him to keep looking at him. 'And I want YOU.' Patrick nodded, in confirmation that he'd understood, and a genuine smile came over his face.
'That's good. That works out pretty well cos I want you too. And now we can show people that we have each other, and that's pretty fucking great.' Patrick said simply.
Kevin breathed a sigh of relief. Hiding their relationship had taken it's toll. He hadn't thought that Patrick might feel it was because Kevin didn't think he measured up to Jon. The thought was so preposterous that it had never crossed his mind, but...he had to start thinking in more lateral ways in order to keep up with Patrick's convoluted thought processes. Jesus. Never a fucking dull moment. Now that may be the only thing he missed form his relationship with Jon. A bit of dullness was welcome sometimes. To balance out the crazy.
Kevin stepped up to Patrick and dropped his forehead on his.
'Let's go home. And watch some TV before we go to bed. And I promise you that though I've done that a thousand times before...I will only be thinking about you and me as we lie there, and I will only be thinking about you as I hold you tonight in my arms.'
'Sounds like heaven.' Patrick sighed.
And it was. Just like a very little slice of heaven, to do something completely ordinary and commonplace as cuddle on the sofa with your boyfriend, whom you loved so very fucking much.