Two Weeks Later, Sunday Evening

Kevin stood in the soon-to-be-his empty apartment, looking around at the blank walls. He was a fucking genius. Putting Patrick in charge of finding his new home had paid off in spades. In one week he would be moving into this fucking fantastic apartment, and with any luck, Patrick would be following him soon after.

Kevin smiled as he walked over to the huge windows and looked out at the view. Unbelievable. He thought back to the shitty little semi-detached he had grown up in, and in his mind, though obviously it couldn't be possible, everything about that house, the street he grew up in, his whole neighborhood...everything was in dull shades of brown and grey. He had dreamt every day of escaping that place, never once feeling he belonged. And no one had believed he could make it, except his poor old dad. His teachers had warned him over and over again as they held him back for detention that he was headed for a life of delinquency. But he'd shown them, when he got straight As in his A-levels and been accepted to Bristol University to study engineering. His so-called-friends had laughed at him when he spoke of anything more than the life they all aspired to, meeting a girl, getting her pregnant, spending every Friday night down at the pub, working in sales, low-level-management, anything that would give them a paycheck. They thought he was arrogant. Needed to be brought down a peg or two. Ambition, aspirations, dreams...all dirty words. Only his dad had understood him. He'd had his own dreams once but he'd drank his way down to accepting the life he actually had. He'd been drunk the day Kevin left for university and didn't even say goodbye, but Kevin knew that he was fucking relieved his son was getting out of that place, not stuck there like he was.

Kevin took out his phone and snapped a picture of the view. He would text that to his dad. It would make him happy.

These windows though. Fuck they were huge. Kevin ran his fingers down the glass, stroking it while he thought of Patrick's response to them yesterday morning. He smiled as he contemplated the fact that in unleashing Patrick's sensuality he may have created just a tiny bit of a monster.

Kevin had loved the place as soon as they'd walked in. It was exactly what he'd been imagining. Clean, simple lines, modern, every convenience you could want, with an insane roof garden and a location that was perfect. He didn't think Patrick would like it one bit though. No moldings, no drafty fireplace, no cracked window frames or flaking plaster. Basically, the complete opposite of Patrick's beloved home. But he had to stop thinking that he knew what Patrick would say and do in every situation because that man kept surprising him. Kevin had found him standing in the bedroom, staring out of the floor-to-ceiling windows, sighing deeply. Kevin almost dreaded asking him his opinion, but probably best to get it over with.

'What do you think?' Kevin asked, running his hands over Patrick's arms before he draped himself over his shoulders. He just couldn't keep his hands off this man, and luckily Patrick seemed to love the constant contact.

'I think I'm going to really enjoy fucking you against this glass' Patrick had replied, shocking the hell out of Kevin. Hidden fucking depths.

'Oh, is that right?'

'Yeah. In front of all the neighbors. It's always kind of been a fantasy of mine. A little higher up in the fantasy...' he smiled cheekily, pulling Kevin's arms tighter around him.

'Oh, Ok. What, with my belly pressed up against the glass' Kevin thrust his crotch into Patrick ass, loving the sexual teasing.

'Exactly' Patrick replied, low and sexy.

'And these windows can take it...' They'd been interrupted by the realtor, who Kevin had completely forgotten was still there. Now that had been fucking embarrassing. Being caught dry-humping your boyfriend by a lovely middle-aged lady wearing floral perfume and pearls was pretty high on Kevin's list of things never to do. Patrick fucking Murray had reduced him to a bumbling teenager.

She had been grace personified though, barely looking at the two of them as they tried to conceal their boners behind strategically placed hands. They were a pair of idiots.

Patrick seemed a little shocked when Kevin had decided to just take this place. He was done looking. He wanted the next bit of their lives to start. The part where he and Patrick had a place of their own with no roommates, no thin walls, no old mattresses...just the two of them making a new beginning. And Patrick had some pretty exciting plans for that window, so, this place was it.

Kevin had been in the mood to celebrate, ecstatic that the search was finally over, but they hadn't been able to spend the evening alone as he would have wanted since this was The Big Night. The night that Kevin was going to officially meet the famous Dana Murray as Patrick's boyfriend. This was obviously a big deal for Patrick, who apparently had never introduced any of his romantic partners to his family before. Not that there had been very many to introduce, but still, this was a huge step forward for him.

Kevin looked at Patrick, fidgeting nervously as they waited for the cab they'd ordered to arrive, and he felt such a wave of protective love towards him. He would make this night go well for him. He would make Patrick proud. He had a reputation to overcome obviously, but he would bring his fucking A game and use everything he had learnt climbing his way up the management ladder to impress and charm his boyfriend's mother.

'Patrick, It's going to be absolutely fine. I'm so fucking good with mums.' he'd reassured him.

But in the end he'd barely needed to do anything but be himself, because he and Dana Murray seemed to have a common goal for this night. They both wanted Patrick to be happy, and they were both willing to do whatever it took to make that happen.

Patrick had described his mum as cold and withholding, though they'd been working on their relationship apparently and things were getting a little better, but to Kevin it was obvious how much this woman loved her son. She was delighted to see Patrick, and took such a genuine interest in his life, wanting to know the details of his job, asking about his friends, showing a willingness to both get to know and like Kevin with no judgement. Kevin could see that what he considered gracious and polite might, to her own son seem unapproachable and remote, but Patrick should be able to see beneath that reserve to the real depth of emotion she had for him. Men and their mothers. Why did it always have to be so fucking complicated.

And Dana Murray also obviously knew her son very well, regardless of how distant Patrick felt they had been over the years.

She didn't seem phased by his obvious anxiety, she didn't let herself get flustered by his nervous energy...she remained pleasant and engaging throughout the evening, and Kevin couldn't help but see some similarities between himself and Dana. The outer shell of charm they both carried, which made people gravitate towards them but also successfully kept them at a distance. The desire to remain detached from what was going on around them, in control, guarding themselves from getting too involved, too emotional too quickly. And of course their shared weakness for the drama and messiness that was Patrick Murray.

Kevin had a feeling that Dana enjoyed the sheer panic on Patrick's face as Kevin gave her a tour of their app as much as he did. And so of course Kevin had dragged it out and made it as uncomfortable as possible for him. Patrick's eyes could not have got any wider as Dana peered at the picture of 'The Leather Daddy' intently. Kevin had picked that game character deliberately, thinking of the night two weeks ago when Patrick had unearthed his naughty little vest from the floor of his closet.

Dana had eventually asked about the financial side of the game, reminding Kevin how Americans were so much more comfortable talking about money and ambition. Good for mother Murray. And somehow that conversation had led to the best surprise of the evening as she gave them what Kevin could only think of as her blessing.

'You're very lucky. Both of you' she said, referring directly to the fact that they had found a way to enjoy their careers and make money from it, but Kevin felt it was meant a little more broadly than that. And he couldn't fucking agree more. She had hit the nail right on the head. They were lucky. Incredibly so. And Kevin felt genuinely...moved. This was a woman who loved Patrick. He could relate to that. She wanted him to be happy, and for that, she got all the brownie points in the world. He wanted her to know just how fantastic her son was. She deserved to know that. She deserved to know that her son was cherished and appreciated and loved, and that he was in safe hands.

'Yeah, I agree' he said simply. 'And even though the last two months have not been without drama...' and with that strange bond they seemed to have developed, both he and the lovely Dana had grimaced at the exact same moment, and leant towards each other.

'So I heard' she teased him.

'Yep' he acknowledged.

'Well, I think I am the luckiest man in the world to be with your son.'

She had liked that. A lot. And Patrick had blushed as he listened to their conversation.

'Well.' Dana had smiled at Kevin. 'It's always a bumpy ride isn't it?.'

And Kevin had had to work so hard to not burst out laughing at the incomparably smart Dana Murray. Oh she did know him so very very well. Patrick's face, though. He would never forget Patrick's face in that moment, as he realized that his own mother had formed an alliance with his boyfriend, and she was basically commiserating with him, warning him about the life he had chosen to lead with her difficult, complicated, tricky but very beloved boy.

So there were two things to celebrate when they finally found themselves alone, in Patrick's apartment, behind the closed doors of his bedroom.

Kevin stood still, inches away from Patrick, both of them still clothed, both leaning towards each other but never quite touching. Kevin reached his hand up and ran his hand slowly, deliberately, through Patrick's hair, down to cup his neck. He pulled Patrick's head forward until their mouths were almost touching, but still, he held back just that last inch. Patrick's lips parted as his breathing slowed down and became heavier, deeper, and still they stared straight into each other's eyes.

The anticipation of what was to come had made Kevin rock hard already, and in the complete silence of the room he could swear he heard his own heartbeat pounding. Not able to wait any longer he reached out a hand to cup Patrick's crotch, and he smiled as he felt him hard and ready. Patrick's eyes narrowed and they moved down to Kevin's mouth as he pushed himself into Kevin's hand.

'What do you want?' Kevin whispered.

'Anything. Everything.' Patrick whispered back. And Kevin finally closed the last inch of space between them and kissed Patrick. Soft, butterfly kisses, barely landing on his lips.

'I fucking love you.' He told Patrick pulling his head back by his hair, looking at his beautiful face for one last second before he closed his eyes and just fucking devoured him. It never got old, kissing Patrick. But he needed more, and he needed it now. Patrick was obviously of the same mind because within seconds his hands were unbuckling and unbuttoning Kevin's jeans and then...oh yes...Patrick held him tight and started to stroke him in a maddeningly slow but delicious rhythm.

Fuck. Kevin wanted to be inside him so badly, but he really needed Patrick to see what he saw. He wanted Patrick to see the way he looked when he was so dazed with passion, so completely fucking beautiful with lust. He walked Patrick backwards into the small bathroom, undressing him while he kissed him, while Patrick kept steadily stroking him.

Oh god. This had to happen now, soon otherwise it wasn't going to happen at all. Kevin pulled himself out of Patrick's hands and turned him round to face the mirror over the sink. Patrick's eyes widened as he realized Kevin's intentions, and he stood motionless as Kevin finished undressing them both.

Kevin snagged supplies from the bathroom shelf and pushing forward, forcing Patrick to hold onto the sink as leant over him, he whispered into Patrick's ear

'Keep your eyes open. I want you to watch. I want you to see.'

Patrick's eyes were transfixed on his own face as Kevin pushed his fingers inside him, readying him, playing with him, toying with him. He tagged Patrick's p-spot and Patrick gasped, still staring at himself, but also moving his eyes to watch Kevin in the mirror as Kevin played and played.

'Fuck' Patrick moaned.

'Oh yes. I will. But I just want to watch your face a little longer. Can you see what I see every time I fuck you with my fingers?' Kevin whispered in his ear, biting at his earlobe, tugging at it to the same rhythm as his hand inside Patrick's body.

'yes' Patrick panted. 'Please' he begged.

Kevin couldn't resist him any more. He was so fucking beautiful and hot and gorgeous and he was making Kevin's head spin with his noises and with the look of lust on his face and with his begging and with his whole fucking amazing self...

Kevin couldn't keep his own eyes open as he entered Patrick, squeezing them shut as he felt all that delicious tightness around him, but moments later he forced himself to focus on Patrick as he began moving, and the reward was off the fucking charts. He was not going to last long at all if he kept watching Patrick watch himself as he was being fucked over the bathroom sink. He reached round to grab Patrick's cock and start stroking him. He wanted them to come together, while they watched.

Patrick's eyes were glazed with lust, but he still kept them on the mirror, on their faces, until the very last minute when he just couldn't keep them open any longer as he came and came in Kevin's hand. Kevin managed to keep his eyes on Patrick through his own orgasm, though it was fucking hard. But he really didn't want to miss a second of it. It was so fucking glorious.

They stood there panting heavily, Patrick's forehead resting on the mirror, Kevin's resting on Patrick's back. And Kevin managed to smile through his exhaustion as he heard Patrick say in a small, quiet voice,

'I fucking love you too.'

...

As he remembered that sweetest declaration from the night before, standing in this empty apartment, imagining it filled with their stuff, Kevin leaned his forehead against the window and closed his eyes. Every fucking dream of his was coming true and he was so...happy.

But god, he hoped he hadn't fucked up this morning.

His plan had been to just let the whole moving in together thing happen naturally, but Patrick had completely blindsided him when they'd been in that mattress store. He needed a new bed, and had taken Patrick mattress shopping with him. Firstly because doing anything with Patrick was fun, and secondly, because Patrick would be sleeping in the bed a lot, and he wanted to make sure Patrick liked the bed. Really pretty uncomplicated stuff. One minute he was in nerd-heaven, adjusting his sleep number, his boyfriend teasing him, laughing together, and the next...he'd found himself having one of the most important discussions of his life, lying fully clothed on a mattress, in a store, surrounded by strangers. Never a dull moment.

'Hey, you haven't reconsidered the zoo have you?' Patrick asked hopefully. Kevin wasn't totally clear on how he'd got himself committed to a day at the San Francisco Zoo on a Sunday in December, but Dana Murray obviously still knew how to pull her little boy's strings because that's where Patrick had been ordered to show up this morning. His mother was going to attempt the impossible and try to smooth out the relationship between the siblings.

Kevin personally thought it was a lost cause. Megan and Gus had been through several weeks of baby-sitting Jon through his heartbreak, and Kevin couldn't imagine Megan's opinion of him could be any lower at this point. A few weeks earlier Kevin would have been concerned to have Patrick spend a day with his viperish sister, but now, he knew Patrick was solid. He knew Patrick wouldn't be influenced by her, or let her sway his opinion of Kevin. Patrick loved him and he didn't believe there was anything Megan could say or do to change that. Still, he wished for Patrick's sake he didn't have to go through with this today. He really felt genuinely sorry for Patrick...but not enough to join him.

'Fuck no.' he replied emphatically. 'You go make peace with the Gorgon, and in three or four years we'll all get together and have a nice laugh about it.' Pretty harmless comment. A little funny, a little bitchy...not that much to it Kevin would have thought.

'Oh wow! Three or four years! I like that you're thinking long term' Patrick said, looking sideways at Kevin lying in the bed.

Huh. Every time Kevin thought they were on the same page, Patrick would do or say something so totally shocking to him that his brain would just shut down for a few seconds. Did Patrick just say...

'I wasn't so sure, after you didn't ask me to move in with you.' Patrick continued, a little embarrassed, as if he had worked up the nerve to confront Kevin but wasn't too sure how this would go.

Kevin blinked as he tried to process what Patrick had just said. Maybe he was just joking. Surely he was. He couldn't be serious. No...he couldn't, because if he was serious...

What in the holy FUCK had Patrick been thinking was happening between them all this time. What was he trying to do with this conversation? Was he trying to force Kevin into declaring his intentions? No fucking problem. Everything Kevin had done since the moment he stood on his stoop, asking Patrick if he would take him back, everything had been about showing Patrick how much he loved him and wanted to be with him. For fucking ever! When would that fucking message sink in?

It seemed that for this particular man, words spoke louder than actions. Alright. So words it was. Kevin had plenty of them. He'd avoided using them so as not to scare Patrick off, but if he didn't say anything now, and Patrick WASN'T joking, the stupid wanker would probably think Kevin didn't want them living together, which was the EXACT opposite of everything Kevin had been trying to show him!

Kevin still had to tread carefully though. Patrick was tricky and his mind moved in very mysterious ways. Kevin's heart started racing as he realized that the next few minutes could well determine the next part of his life, and he wasn't prepared. He knew what he wanted, and he was pretty sure he knew what Patrick wanted, but...if Kevin pushed too hard and sent Patrick over some invisible edge, would Patrick panic and back away? What could he say to get this bit right?

'Well.' Kevin began, hesitantly, leaning up on his elbow to look Patrick in the face. How the fuck should he put this? 'I wanted to ask you but...I wasn't too sure if you'd think it was too soon or...'

'Crazy?' Patrick supplied as Kevin searched for the right word. Patrick had landed on that word pretty quickly, Kevin thought, a little discouraged. But if he thought it was crazy, why the fuck had Patrick brought it up? Shit...maybe he had just been joking after all and never intended for Kevin to take this seriously and actually have this conversation...but it was out there now.

'Crazy yep...and have you running for the hills.' Kevin confirmed. 'But...' Fuck it. He just had to say it and pray that Patrick would not freak out. 'I got that apartment...for us. I want this bed, to be OUR bed. Whenever you're ready' Kevin assured him, watching him closely for any signs of panic. There. Declaration made loud and clear. Now he just had to sit back and wait for the drama.

But maybe he'd underestimated Patrick in this instance, because he actually seemed...OK. A little surprised, which was confusing to Kevin because if he didn't think Kevin wanted to live with him, why mention it? Was he expecting rejection? This man was going to be the fucking death of him.

'Wait...are you saying...'

Fuck this. No more pussyfooting around. It should have been completely obvious to Patrick exactly what Kevin had been saying but it seemed he was being too subtle.

'If I wasn't so comfortable, I'd probably get down on one knee and ask you, Patrick Murray, will you move in with me. And brush your teeth in the sink next to mine each morning.' As they'd been doing for the past five fucking weeks!

'It's a major step, Kevin' Patrick said quietly, calmly. And at his tone, and at the look on Patrick's face...Kevin started finding his balance again. Patrick didn't look panicked, he didn't look like he was desperately trying to find an escape route, he actually looked...thoughtful.

'Yep it is. Yes.' Kevin confirmed. It was a huge fucking step when put out in the open like that. And there was nothing he wanted more that to take that step with this man. 'Ready when you are' he told Patrick simply. And that was the fucking truth. He was ready right now, but he'd wait for however long it took Patrick to get there too. He quickly pushed aside the sudden painful thought that he always seemed to be waiting for Patrick. Stupid truant thoughts. Patrick was entitled to take all the time he needed.

Patrick smiled at him, his eyes dropping to Kevin's mouth. Kevin knew an invitation when he saw one, and he leaned over and kissed that mouth he loved so much, that he knew so well.

'Why didn't you say anything?' Patrick asked quietly when Kevin drew back. Kevin laughed wryly.

'Patrick, you are a fucking mystery to me. If I thought for one minute that you were ready for this conversation I would have had it weeks ago when I first contacted the broker.' Kevin admitted. And it felt good to finally say that. This Patrick, the one that was calm and sensible and could put all his anxieties and internal panicking aside and have a mature discussion, Kevin loved this Patrick. Well, he loved all the Patricks but this one was the one he really appreciated right at this very minute.

'Why do you think I've had you come along to every showing? That any place you didn't like was knocked right of the list? Didn't any of that give you any clues as to what I might be thinking?'

'Oh. Right.' Patrick seemed bemused. 'So...YOU don't think it's too soon?'

Kevin shook his head.

'I know how I feel. I know what I want. And others may think what they like but, I know how we are when we are together and why would I not want that every day? But that doesn't mean you have to feel the same right now. Ok? There's no pressure. You can take your time to decide, but just...it's good that if you didn't know how I felt, that you know now.' Kevin finished clumsily. But Patrick seemed to have understood because he smiled, looking relieved, as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

Jesus. This boy's insecurities were going to one day make him want to jump off the fucking roof. Kevin sighed as he contemplated a life ahead of him of being blindsided by Patrick's convoluted thought processes.

Kevin was almost reluctant to make Patrick go to the zoo by himself after such a hugely significant discussion, but in all honesty his presence would surely only make Megan more feral and less likely to be reasonable. So he put Patrick in a cab and forced himself to keep running his errands while he waited, and waited. And eventually he had come back to the apartment to start planning and making lists of what more was needed, and he waited even more.

Finally Kevin had heard from him about half an hour ago, when Patrick had texted him that he had seen his mother off to the airport from the hotel. No word on how the confrontation with Megan had gone, no word on anything about any conversations that had been had. Hopefully that meant everyone had survived the ordeal unscathed. Even if a meeting of the minds was not possible, Kevin believed that If anyone could at least keep those two in line it would definitely be Dana Murray.

Kevin had texted Patrick back, telling him to come and meet him at the new place. He wasn't done measuring stuff, and he could use some help on deciding which walls to hang the new TVs on.

But at the thought that Patrick was coming here, and that this could potentially be their new home together very soon, he'd got distracted, and here he was, leaning against the bedroom window and thinking about the delicious plans Patrick had for this particular one, and about all the major shit that had happened in just two days.

He was such a lovesick cliche, he almost made himself puke. Almost. Because in truth he was loving it. But, back to measuring and list making. He turned his music back, on hoping it would help distract him from the thoughts of Patrick and sex. Looking around for his biro, he remembered he'd stuffed it in his back pocket and as he went to retrieve it, he pulled out some small pieces of card that fell to the floor. Bending down to pick them up he looked at them, puzzled for a moment as he tried to remember what the hell they were.

Oh fuck. They were the business cards from GaymerX. The few that the more aggressive men had pressed into his hand. Kevin shook his head, smiling.

As if.

He was a realist, and who knew? One day at some point maybe he might find the thought a little exciting and maybe get a bit of an itch again for a brief quick taste of the unknown. Didn't all men? And women too probably, but fuck knew he wasn't an expert on that half of the population. But now, with what he had, with what waited for him in his bed every night, it seemed a fucking ridiculous notion. What he did know though was that love had changed him. Whatever happened, Patrick was the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and he was not going to repeat the same mistakes he had made in the past. He was not going to get complacent, he was not going to take this connection for granted. It was too precious, and it was too important. He wouldn't jeopardize it by lying to Patrick, by deceiving him even for an instant. Patrick's trust was too important to him, and he had not cared enough, or maybe just not cared in the right way for Jon to nurture and deserve that trust. But Patrick was not Jon. Not in any way.

Patrick was everything to him, and he would never lie to him, never give Patrick cause to doubt that what he said was the absolute truth.

Kevin looked down at the business cards and ripped them up, tossing them into the fast food container he had brought in with him.

The door buzzer rang, and Kevin grinned. Pathetic lovesick wanker. He went and buzzed Patrick up, leaving the door open so Patrick could walk in, before returning to the bedroom and taking out his measuring tape. He didn't want to have to explain to Patrick that he had spent a good part of the afternoon thinking about the sex they had had and the sex they would have if he could avoid it. Patrick got a little bossy when he felt Kevin was shirking his duties to obsess over sex. So, he was going to look busy when Patrick came in, and hope Patrick didn't ask for an exact accounting of his day.

He heard Patrick's footsteps and realized that this was what it was going to sound like in the future. Patrick walking on their floors. Their floors. One day. He turned to look at his boyfriend as he walked in.

'Hi' Patrick said.

'Hey'

Patrick looked serious as fuck. Purposeful. Determined.

'I want to do this.' He said quietly. Kevin's heart sped up as he watched Patrick walk up to him and stand inches away.

'I want to move in with you, and be with you and spend Christmas with you here. Just the two of us'

Well. The mystery that was Patrick fucking Murray.

Kevin smiled. This was going to be fucking epic.