Man lives and dies, but the universe is infinite and knows no time. What is man before the overwhelming vastness of the universe? Can we succeed in truly understanding the nature of reality? What are the boundaries of existence? Can a man get pregnant?

That last question was 'no they can't, you fool'. Until now...

"Kabuto-kun, you are here to witness the greatest achievement of my lifetime and maybe even all of history itself!" Orochimaru stated grandly. "Indeed my entire life has been for this moment." He made a wide sweeping gesture with his arms. "All the lives I have ended and destroyed. All the terror I've caused- all for this point in time!"

Kabuto eyed the door behind his master skeptically. "You have finally found the secret to immortality?"

"No, Kabuto-kun. That is merely a hobby. This-!" Orochimaru flung the door open. "Is my true desire!"

"Push! Push!"

"Orochimaru-sama..." Kabuto whipsered, seeing but not really understanding the scene.

"You have to breathe, Sasuke-kun." The nurse, Karin, instructed.

"This wouldn't have been possible without your skills, Kabuto-kun. Therefore you have right to be here and witness this miracle. Behold!"

The reality dawned upon Kabuto and he forgot to breathe.

"Speechless, hmm?" Orochimaru smiled widely. "Too amazing to find the words?"

"Ahhhhh! The pain, kill me now!" Sasuke's voice was a shrill screach.

Wet farting noises filled the air, but Kabuto barely heard them. The madness was starting to creep in.

"There is more! I have taken the liberty of beseeching you this great gift. As of last night you too will take part in this miracle!"

Kabuto was vaguely aware of the words he said to Orochimaru. His body operated on auto pilot and he felt a sudden lightness.

Floating upward, he barely comprehended that he was seeing his body from birds eye view.

My soul left my body, he realized with calm numbness. I didn't even die. My soul just left.

A bright light shined above him, calling him home. He could see everyone he ever loved waiting for him with open arms. They would never judge him and they would spend eternity together. Love filled his heart.

Everything turned red and a cavernous hole opened up in the ground. A giant demonic hand reached out and pulled him into hell where he was tortured for eternity.

Xxx

Orochimaru reflected on the days events. The birthing process had been a perfect success! Sasuke-kun had died, but that was inconsequential. He was planning treachery anyway and traitors don't make good parents! Except himself!

Most encouraging was Kabuto's reaction. He had truly underestimated the young man and he vowed not to do so again. Orochimaru looked foward to raising his spawn to be a loyal minion.

Now it was time for phase two- capture jiraiya!