HOPE
2 – in which hope finds a friend (or two)
" There is some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for "
—J.R.R. Tolkien
SASHA BLOUSE HAD PERFECT STAMINA.
That was all Hope could think as she and a few other Cadets stood watching from the small building as the taller, food-obsessed girl continued to run along the training course. She was breathing so hard one could practically hear her panting all the way to the Trost District. Some kids muttered their distaste, saying that she shouldn't have eaten that potato and acted so carelessly in front of Instructor Shadis on their first day, while Hope believed she was quite brave to do so—she knew for a fact she could never stand up to someone like that. Hope clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, as she remained the only one still standing outside, watching as poor Sasha Blouse continued to run, for what seemed to be, five hours straight. She had been banned from having dinner and was sentenced to keep running until she literally dropped to the ground. Hope watched as the girl continued to run strong despite her exhaustion and decided she would later on ask the girl how she built up such high stamina.
The bell tower echoed throughout the evening, signaling it was time for dinner. Hope quickly followed after the other trainees as they made their way to the mess hall. The young girl avoided eye contact with almost everyone—she could tell people hadn't stopped staring at her since Shadis had mentioned her father: he was a well-known and respected soldier, after all. But perhaps they weren't staring at Hope, and the poor girl merely felt as if they were. Either way, she decided to ignore the biting feeling as she trudged onward, standing in line with the others. She picked up her plate and spoon, following in the line as everyone quickly received their ration for the night. Once she had received her piece of bread along with her soup, she turned around, and then felt an awkward wave of embarrassment as she looked around for some place to sit. It appeared that almost everyone had a friend already. Hope willed herself to stop shaking and ignore the biting feeling that people were staring at her as she walked down the aisle, glancing at the different tables, hoping to find a kind face to sit with. It appeared that nobody wanted to sit with her, however, as she made contact with a few and they quickly turned their heads. Hope tried to ignore this fact, and decided to sit where she pleased, but stopped when someone called out to her.
"Hey, Lost Girl!" Hope glanced in the direction of the voice, spotting a young female her age with mousy-brown hair that had been cut short, almost like a boy's. If Hope hadn't heard her voice, she would have definitely assumed it was a young boy calling out to her. The girl was sitting at a table with two other girls—one of them had dark brown hair and bright gray eyes while the other had blonde hair tied in a ponytail and steel-colored eyes that didn't look friendly in the least. Hope hesitated, then decided best of her anxiety and trudged forward, sitting down next to the girl who had called her over.
"I'm Emma," the girl said, immediately holding out her hand for Hope to shake. Hope stared at it for a moment before grasping it with her own hand, shaking it feebly before pulling away. "Emma Norton—that's Julia Mann," she pointed in the direction of the dark-haired girl—Hope noticed she had hair clips shaped like pink roses in her hair, "And Annie Leonhardt." She pointed in the direction of the blonde who glanced up from her meal to look towards Hope. She nodded slightly before looking back down again, obviously not wanting to be disturbed.
"I'm Hope," Hope finally said, noticing that the three girls she was seated with wanted her introduction. "Hope Brady."
"Like Connell Brady?" Julia asked. Hope glanced her way, confused, until Julia gave a small smile, setting down her spoon. "I heard what Instructor Shadis told you during the entrance ceremony—that's a lot of pressure he put on you, and we haven't even started training yet."
Hope shrugged, playing around with her soup before she let her hunger get the best of her. A silence followed (much more comfortable than Hope would have imagined) as Julia and Emma continued to converse. Annie, on the other hand, remained as silent as Hope, her gaze fixed on something far behind the girl. Hope was half tempted to turn around and see what Annie was staring at, but then decided best of it as she glanced back down at her meal. She remembered Sasha, suddenly, and wondered how the girl would pull through: if she was that desperate to eat a potato during the entrance ceremony, then she definitely won't be able to withstand a night without dinner. Before Hope could contemplate saving her bread for the Potato Girl, a sudden bout of shouting sounded from the other side of the mess hall. Hope and the others she was seated with glanced, up looking in the direction of the commotion. Hope's eyes narrowed in confusion upon spotting a group of people crowding around a table.
"Want to go over there?" asked Emma, breaking Hope's train of thought. She glanced towards the short-haired girl and hardly had the time to agree before Emma grabbed her by the arm, hauling her out of the seat and guiding her and Julia towards the table. Keeping a slight distance from the table along with Julia, Hope watched as Emma managed to squeeze in through the crowd, making it to the very front. Now that the girls had a closer view, Hope was finally able to see who everyone was crowding around—the same brunette haired boy with vivid teal eyes. As Hope listened in closely, she realized that they were questioning him about the Colossal Titan.
"Yes, I've seen it," he said. A collective amount of gasps resonated from the people standing around as they exchanged worried looks.
"How big was it?" one boy asked.
"I heard it was big enough to walk over the Wall!" another exclaimed. Hope noticed the boy looked slightly uncomfortable by all these statements before he shook his head, looking indifferent.
"No…it wasn't that big."
Hope's interest was peaked slightly—although she was present during the Wall Maria breach, her mother had prevented her from seeing what was going on: the only real reason why she knew Titans were on the lose was when she went upstairs to grab the book on the outside world. Looking at the boy sitting before her now, she realized it was about time she returned it. Glancing towards Julia, she nodded towards the boy as the people standing around him continued to hammer him with unnecessary questions.
"Who is he?" Hope whispered. Julia glanced her way, opening her mouth to answer but the voice that came out wasn't from her.
"Eren Jäger."
A silence seemed to follow the voice as Hope and Julia looked in the direction of where it came from. Hope immediately felt her face warm with embarrassment when she realized that the very boy she had asked about was staring right at her. He smiled slightly upon meeting her gaze before looking back down.
At least she knew his name, now. That will make it easier to return the book, Hope contemplated, attempting to get rid of her embarrassment with different thoughts. Before Eren Jäger even had the chance to continue to eat his stew, a girl with black hair tied in pigtails continued the interrogation.
"What was its face like?"
Eren glanced her way. "It didn't have much skin but it had a huge mouth."
Everyone gasped again. Hope bit her lip, attempting to vision some ghastly Titan with no skin at all and a huge mouth, but all she could see were the normal Titans that paraded through her town with no care in the world, tearing a part her family and ruining her life.
"Hey, Hope's from the Shiganshina District, too!" A familiar voice piped up. Hope looked up suddenly, eyes wide as suddenly everyone's attention was diverted towards her. She glanced towards Emma to see that the shorthaired girl was grinning before stepping towards her. "Did you see the Colossal Titan?"
Hope bit her lip, shaking her head. She was reminded of her mother, suddenly, who tried her best to hide the fear shining in her eyes as she attempted to protect her baby girl. She tried to forget her mother's death scene as she subconsciously reached with her right hand to play with the ring she wore on her left one—she had seen her father wearing it on his ring finger on his left hand and figured it'd be a good spot to place it (besides, the ring was so big it didn't fit on any of her other fingers, anyway).
"Um…no…" Hope finally stammered, realizing that the group was waiting for her response. She felt another wave of anxiety rush through her at the sudden interaction with a bunch of people she didn't know, before she glanced Eren's way. He had stopped eating and was now watching her, a look of curiosity plastered across his face.
"Well…what's a normal Titan like?"
Hope felt her breathing hitch as she was suddenly reminded of the big dull eyes and the wide, sickening grin. She felt tears sting her eyes as she remembered how it towered above her as it held her mother in its sick hands, snapping her in half before swallowing her whole. There was a sudden clatter, gaining Hope's attention as she glanced back at Eren to see he had dropped his spoon and was now covering his mouth, looking as if he were about to be sick. Hope bit her lip once more, tempted to go up and comfort him but decided best of it—she didn't want to draw anymore attention to herself, or to Eren.
"Um, everyone, I think it's time we stopped asking questions," said one boy standing next to Emma. He had dark hair and prominent freckles scattered across his cheeks—Hope recognized him to be Marco Bodt. "There are probably some things that they don't want to remember."
"Sorry!" The first boy who had started the commotion exclaimed. Hope glanced towards him and recognized him to be Connie Springer—the one who had gotten the salute wrong at the entrance ceremony. "We asked too many—"
"No." Eren seemed to regain his composure as he sat up straight, picking up his piece of bread before biting into it. "Titans aren't actually as scary as you think they are—once we master the Three Dimensional Maneuvering Gear, they won't be able to stop us. We can finally train to become soldiers. I'm going to become a part of the Scout Regiment and kill those Titans once and for all."
Hope merely gawked at him, as did the others surrounding his table. Did he have a death wish? Who in their right mind would want to join the Survey Corps? And how could he be so confident in the fact that he could be the one to bring the Titans to their extinction. Hope couldn't believe the arrogance that resonated off the boy; her mother had been killed by one of those monsters and her father had been left behind to deal with them (he was most likely dead, too, for all she knew—he hadn't come back to find her, anyway). She believed he lost family members as well, so how could he have the audacity to say such things?
"Ha!" scoffed someone from the table next to Eren. Everyone present turned towards the direction of where the voice came from to see a brown-haired man with a smirk stretched across his face: Hope recognized him to be Jean Kirstein, the one who wanted to join the Military Police after graduating. "Are you kidding? Did I just hear you say you were going to join the Scout Regiment?" he sneered in the direction of Eren.
"Yeah," Eren said, turning to face him, meeting his gaze evenly. "Didn't you say you were going to join the Military Police so you could slack off?"
Hope tried to hold back her laughter as Jean's expression faltered slightly before it returned to the familiar sneer. "Well, at least I'm honest."
"What did you just say?" Eren snapped, standing up suddenly. The table shook by his sudden movement and everyone stepped back, staring in awe at the fight that was most likely about to go down. Hope bit her lip, watching anxiously as her gaze flickered between both Eren and Jean. "Are you trying to insult me?"
Hope noticed Jean's eye twitch in irritation as he stood up as well. Glancing back at Eren, Hope watched as his jaw clenched angrily along with his fists. She figured he had some sort of anger management issues. It would be best not to get on his bad side. Just then the two stood chest-to-chest, Jean towering over Eren. Before anyone could throw the first punch, the bell clanged loudly, signaling that dinner was over and that they should all head to their dormitories.
A small sigh of relief seemed to escape Hope as the tension in the room died down. Jean let out an exasperated sigh. "Sorry, I didn't mean to put you down." He extended out his hand, to which Eren stared at. "Let's call a truce?"
The anger that seemed to be etched across Eren's face died down as he let his composure relax a little. "Yeah…I was wrong, too," he added before slapping Jean's hand, turning away. Hope watched as Eren disappeared out of the mess hall, and quickly following after him were two other kids—a boy with blonde hair (whom Hope barely remembered as Armin Arlert) and a girl with dark hair who shouldered past Hope to catch up. Immediately she recognized them to be the two other kids she saw from two years ago: Hope had yet to learn their names, though.
"Hey, you!" Jean called out. Hope glanced his way to see as he stepped towards the dark-haired girl. She stopped before turning around. In that moment, Hope watched as Jean Kirstein immediately let his pompous attitude fall as he stuttered, "Uh…um…I just…Well, I thought that…your face stands out," he managed to spit out. The girl frowned, obviously confused, as Jean added, "S-Sorry…You have pretty black hair." He looked away quickly, face red. Hope snorted then covered her mouth, hoping that he hadn't noticed. Luckily, he was too invested in his own embarrassment to even glance Hope's way.
The girl, however, was staring blankly at him, obviously indifferent about what he had said. "Thank you." She then turned around swiftly on her heel, running out of the mess hall. Jean quickly followed after her, calling out but Hope didn't bother to listen. Instead, she continued to laugh—an asshole like Jean could act so immature like that? It was quite the sight to see.
"Hey, what's up?" Emma asked, gaining Hope's attention. She cleared her throat, turning around to face her newfound friends before shrugging slightly, her smile still widely stretched across her face.
"Oh, it's nothing." She laughed again, shaking her head as she tried to get the image of an awkward Jean Kirstein out of her head. Emma exchanged an amused look with Julia as the two also gained smiles across their faces.
"Wow, your smile is contagious," Emma commented. Hope stopped laughing, glancing her way before letting her face heat up, flustered. Emma, however, exchanged another amused look with Julia before nodding towards the door. "We better get to the dorms." She glanced over her shoulder at Annie who was waking by. "Hey, Annie! Are you in the same dorm as us?"
Annie stopped, glancing her way before giving a short nod, not bothering to wait as she exited through the door. Hope exchanged a look with Emma and Julia who merely shrugged.
"That girl is definitely something," Emma sighed. She blinked before smiling widely again before leading the way out of the mess hall. "That thing was pretty intense though…With Eren and Jean."
Julia nodded in agreement. "Yeah…I totally thought they were going to duke it out."
"My bet's on Eren," Emma said. "That Horse Face may be tall, but I doubt he could match up to the anger in that kid."
Hope nodded slowly—so she wasn't the only one who noticed that Eren held a scowl in his face most of the time. She frowned slightly, realizing that when Jean wasn't being an absolute prick, he too had a similar expression. She immediately felt bad for laughing at him like she had before—she didn't know his story after all. However, Hope didn't have the time to belittle herself more as they neared the dormitory. Emma opened the door, gesturing widely.
"After you!"
Julia laughed, shaking her head before walking inside. Hope smiled as well, glancing at Emma before entering also, Emma following close behind as she shut the door behind them.
x x x
Mina Carolina, Mikasa Ackerman, Sasha Blouse, Ymir, Annie Leonhardt, Krista Lenz, Julia Mann, Emma Norton.
Hope had been repeating the names in her head for the past fifteen minutes—she was always bad at remembering names, especially when she had to remember so many at once. Remembering faces, however, was an easier story. She frowned, wondering why Ymir hadn't mentioned her last name, but decided not to ask her about it. She had come barging into the dorms in the middle of the night, waking up almost everyone while she dragged in a sleeping Sasha and a worried Krista trailing after her. After that, Hope hadn't been able to fall asleep yet. Instead, she was lying in her cot, staring wide eyed at her father's ring as she twisted it around, the silver box part of it click every time it switched from the engraved rose to her parents' initials. She let the ring rest on her parents' initials as she ran her two fingers across the engraved letters, feeling another prick of sadness as she sniffled, trying her hardest not to cry again. She closed her eyes, holding her hand close as she tried her hardest to remember what her father had said about his trainee years: he had mentioned some pointers, but at this moment, Hope wasn't able to remember them. All she could think of was how he mentioned all of the friends he made.
When she finally felt as if she had finally drifted off into a comfortable slumber, Instructor Shadis' voice shattered through the piece as it echoed loudly throughout the camp.
"You shitheads better get your asses out of bed!" he bellowed. Hope's eyes shot open as she sat upright, watching as Sasha scrambled from the sudden noise, clumsily falling out of her cot and fell face forward onto the hard wooden floor. "Titans don't wait for you to get up!"
Immediately everyone was up on their feet, scrambling around to put on their uniforms. Hope glanced at her own attire—she had been so tired she forgot to take off most of it. Looking around, she noticed that Emma and Julia were already dressed and were nodding her way, gesturing that she should hurry up after them. She quickly scrambled forward, running past a few other girls who were attempting to strap on the buckles before clambering out of the dorms. When they arrived on the training area, most of the cadets of the 104th Trainee Squad were present and already stretching. Hope followed after Emma and Julia as they sat down in an empty spot, beginning to stretch as well. Hope watched and copied their movements, feeling relief in the tension that had previously ached her muscles.
Once Instructor Shadis came onto the scene, almost everyone was up to their feet and saluting. Hope followed the gesture as well, staring straight ahead before Shadis nodded, allowing them to relax. He turned, leading the way farther down the training area. Hope exchanged a look with her friends as they quickly followed after his brisk walk until he led them towards a line of structures sitting before them—Hope figured that they were stimulation machines that were going to test their agility and see if they can cope well with the 3DMG devices. "Today you will be doing your wire gear aptitude tests!" Shadis exclaimed, turning around to face the cadets. "If you can't manage this, then we can't even use your pitiful existence as bait!"
Hope swallowed nervously, glancing towards Emma. Her friend held a look of determination as she stared ahead at the machines. Looking down at the ground, Hope prayed that she would be able to pass—she didn't want to be a burden to her father's name. She hadn't even notice Shadis call her name and a few others as she quickly followed after Emma, hooking her belt to the wires. Shadis nodded to the man standing by the crank as he slowly turned the lever, lifting the cadets in the air. Hope wobbled slightly, eyes wide before she took a deep breath, managing to balance completely. Glancing to her left she spotted Emma sitting nearly perfectly. She frowned, feeling herself shake a little.
How the hell does she make it look so easy?
Right when Hope felt as if she could hold her balance, an annoying buzz sounded near her left ear. She frowned, holding her breath as she tried to focus on making sure her hips stayed in the correct position to prevent herself from falling forward. The buzzing stopped momentarily before it started up again until a black spot flew in around Hope's face—a fly. Hope bit her lip, trying to ignore the annoying insect, but its buzzing seemed to echo in her head. Getting agitated, Hope reached up with her hand, attempting to swat away at it but immediately regretted it a second later. She let out a shriek of surprise as her balance gave way and she tilted forward. She heard a collective amount of gasps from the other cadets watching as she plummeted face first towards the ground. She swayed awkwardly from the wires, her body completely turned upside down. She felt the blood rush to her head as she glanced around—she couldn't even being to imagine how pathetic she looked.
"Hope Brady, just what in the hell do you think you're doing?" Keith Shadis thundered. Hope winced, looking around frantically as she felt panic course through her veins. The crowd watching her separated to reveal the very instructor, his eyes bloodshot and face twisted in anger as he stepped forward. "What the actual hell is this? Were you waving to one of your friends or some shit!"
Hope remained silent, biting her lip as she looked up at the upside down Shadis. "Sorry, sir! There was a fly buzzing near my face and—"
"A fly?" Shadis echoed. Hope bit her lip as his voice turned dangerously quiet as he knelt before her, studying her expression before shouting, "A fly! You let pesky insects like goddamned flies distract you? Keep going like this and you won't even be fit be served as Titan food!"
Hope flinched at his harsh words as she shut her eyes, exclaiming in panic, "Sorry, sir!"
"Apologizing won't save you from the jaws of a Titan, Cadet!"
Hope flinched again, taking a deep breath to calm her panic before she opened her eyes, meeting Shadis' gaze evenly. She needed to be like her strong, independent father if she ever wanted to survive here.
"Yes, sir!"
A silence followed her exclamation as Shadis watched her silent, as if challenging her to break once more. Hope wouldn't allow it, however, as she met his gaze evenly. She could hear a few people snickering in the background but she didn't let that faze her—not yet, that is. She watched as Shadis nodded to the person operating the machine. "Lower her." Hope felt herself spin back to normal as she shakily rested her feet on the ground, now able to look at a no-longer upside down Shadis. "Try again—and this time, don't let anything distract you."
Hope nodded, brushing herself off as she took another deep breath, attempting to calm her anxiety that was threatening to race through her again. She was not going to fail this time. She was going to be exactly like her father.
Shadis scanned her appearance for a moment before nodding to the person once more. Hope heard the creaking of the lever before she was lifted into the air again. She wobbled slightly before she took another deep breath, balancing herself completely before she opened her eyes, meeting the gazes of many watching her in awe.
She didn't fail this time.