"Seriously who taught you how to fly this thing" Alice yelled as we were thrown around the interior of the TARDIS
"I don't know, I bumped heads with him and just saw some of his memories" I yelled back and at that the TARDIS stopped moving and we hit heads.
"Oh that hurt," Alice complained, I laid still on the floor shocked by the memories that had flooded my head "James, you ok" she asked coming to look at me.
"God" I sat up "that guy is a pimp daddy"
"Who"
"The doctor, the first time, he was an old fart"
"James are you ok, is this like the time that pimp slapped you with his cane?"
"And the ladies he brought on board. Well let's see, marry, cool but a friend figure, cute who knew how to party she left for a Trojan." At that I paused from my dancing and counting on my fingers to give Alice a wicked grin " then a Trojan that died for the doctor, a goody two shoes with face that was weird but you could not place why, then the blond" I stopped, these were not my own emotions but I felt them so strongly "and they're all gone" I concluded
"Are you ok?" Alice asked
"Yeah just feels weird" I reply "anyways let's get the numbers then get home to win some money"
We walked out the door onto cobble stone streets. Around us Mediterranean stone building rose and a statue with a laurel of victory stared down at us.
"Where not in NYC" Alice said
"Really" I replied
"Well we are not" Alice replied putting her hands on her hips
"Well it looks like we are in Rome so do as the Romans do" I replied as we started walking away from the TARDIS
"What are you doing?"
"Going to find priceless artifacts" I replied
At that I walked up the exposed staircase to the top of the building. What I found their surprised me, I saw that we were in a dome, and outside of it Mars. We were on the south side of the dome and the tallest buildings seemed to be at the center
Running back down the stairs I passed Alice who asked what I was doing
"When in Rome on Mars do as Martian Romans do" I continued northwards up the road.
"Martian romans?" she replied
"Yeah" I said "I wonder what type of cool stuff they have"
"Space Roman stuff" she replied
"Yeah maybe their legionnaires have light sabers"
As I said that we came to a square. Across from us in the square were a bunch of men in purple togas sitting on their porches
"What's that sound?" Erin asked as loud auto tuned music was heard
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo
Aureli pathice et cinaebe furi
"I guess they developed rap music" I told her as a chariot rushed into the square
In the chariot where men in red, who started throwing spears at the men in purple. The men in ducked for cover at the sight of the men in red. The drive by was over in a matter of seconds and two men lay dead.
"Those foul Julii are on our turf" one of the men in purple
"Yeah man we got to protect our turf"
"They won just mess with the Aburia"
"That's right south Rome baby"
"So when in Martian gangster Rome do as the gangster roman Martians do," I suggested as we pushed north towards the city center
As we continued walking men in purple robes starred at us. After only ten minutes one stood in front of us with a drawn sword
"Who the canis exprimamus" are you he asked pointing he sword at me
"Some travelers" Alice replied
"You do not have the colors of any of the gangs" he replied "who you aligned with"
"I'm allied to myself" I replied
"Who are you?" he asked, eyes narrowing
"im omnia superabat asinus tuus," I replied " but call me Awesomesss"
"im omnia superabat asinus tuus?" he looked confused " what does that mean, and be quick or I will part your head"
"This" I stepped past him and drew the Makarov I had taken in Korea and shot his posterior
"You're not very good at making friends" Alice said as we got closer to the city center
"What people love me"
"Really why?"
"Because I have a great sense of humor"