"Are we going home" Alice asked as I drove the Tardis around time.
"I'm lost" I replied
"Wow James" Alice stood up from her seat, "I think that's the first time in history a man admitted such a thing"
"Yeah and you would…" a massive crashing sound started
"James what was that?" Allice asked as she walked over to her purse
"Freeze your all going down, hard" a man in a ridiculous coat yelled and winked
"Who are you?" I ask noticing his gun under his coat.
"I am Captain Jack Harkness, Time Agent and body inspector" again with the wink.
"You're a Captain of Body inspectors" Allice asked
"That's right" Jack said as he posed, fists on his hips, hips thrusted out, "and I see some good bodies today"
"So are you hear to invite us to the universes top model" I ask, creeping my left hand under the counsel.
"Sadly no, I am hear on other business" Jack gave a massive corny smile.
"Good, cus Alice would win, you know how casting couches work" I joked
"I have standards!" Alice yelled
"Oh what are they" Jack asked turning to her.
"Why are you hear" Alice yelled back.
"Oh right, I am here to arrest you for transporting cocaine trough time with intent to distribute" Jack said as he turned back to me and could see the Kalashnikov aimed at him.
"Well good thing its not about guns right" I reply.