I mentally curse myself for dreading getting up the next morning. "This shouldn't be so much of a problem." I tell myself quietly, slapping my cheeks gently to wake myself up. "We're friends; this shouldn't be getting in the way." I sigh, getting up and showering, the water reassuring myself more than my conscious. "Come on, what's the worst that can happen?" I ask myself, thinking of a serious answer.
We won't be as close as before, because Winry must've told him that I like him too…
Mentally face-palming for even asking myself that question, because I knew I wouldn't like the answer, I pull on my regular outfit, slipping some chalk into my pants pocket. I know that I'll have to bite the bullet sometime soon, so I walk as casually as I can down the stairs and into the cafeteria.
I immediately notice Al, being a giant suit of armor at all, and I therefor notice Ed sitting beside him. Al was right; he does look bummed out. But why would he be upset? That I found out without him telling me? That's kind of stupid.
"Hey, Jade, are you going to just stand there or what?" I hear someone ask, snapping me out of my thoughts. I smile apologetically at my uncle, deciding to sit with him for now.
"Sorry, just thinking." He smiles back and offers me half his sandwich; I take it gratefully.
"Something troubling you?" He asks and I take a bite of the sandwich to give myself more time to think.
"Not really, nothing you need to worry about anyway." I say honestly, taking another bite of the sandwich.
"I'll worry about everything in your life. That's what uncles do." He smiles at me and I roll my eyes playfully.
"Where was this side of you ten years ago?" His smile falters for a bit.
"Stuck in a gutter." He replies after a while. "I'm still really sorry for that." I just shrug, finishing the bit of food.
"Hey, forgive and forget, right?" How ironic… I think to myself bitterly. Roy smiles again and I give him a quick peck on the cheek before standing up, smiling at his slightly shocked and embarrassed expression. "I'm going to take a walk, alright?" He just nods and I walk out the doors, hearing what sounds like frantic movement of a chair before…
"Jade!" My heart skips a beat as I keep walking, my dread to face this coming back. "Jade, please. I really need to talk to you." Ed begs from behind me. I stop for a moment, hearing his footsteps catching up with me.
"Fine, but outside, okay?" I say, not facing him, but he makes a noise of confirmation and we walk outside. I look around, slightly blinded by the light, before spotting a bench that looks comfortable enough. I walk over to it, plopping down gently and waiting for a moment. "Well? Are you going to sit or not?" I ask Ed who is standing there like an idiot. He sits beside me, but we don't make eye contact. "Were you ever going to tell me?" I ask him, looking down at my hands.
"Jade…" He begins but breaks off, not knowing how to finish that.
"No, it's alright. I understand. You love her, she loves you, end of story, right?" I look up at the sky again, the sun behind a cloud for the time being.
"No, no, not end of story." Ed says, finally picking up the confidence to speak again.
"What are you talking about? There's nothing more to that-"
"Yes there is, Jade." I look over at him in surprise, a concentrated expression on his face. "Look, what Winry said, it's a lie." I sigh, looking down again.
"You don't have to lie to me to spare my feelings. It's better this way." I'm tempted to get up and leave, but Ed must've realized that because I feel his hand gently on my wrist.
"Please, don't go. I'm serious, Jade." I give him a look, but I don't protest. "We're not betrothed."
"Then… why..?" I ask, scrunching my eyebrows together, like an answer will pop out of thin air.
"She was jealous." Ed says, his cheeks tinting pink. "Damn it, I can't even do this… not without… but… damn it…" He mutters to himself and I give him another look.
"A-are you okay, Ed?"
"No, I'm not." He says, looking me in the eyes. "I can't stand you ignoring me because of the lies Winry told, okay? She's jealous that… I…" It seems like his confidence is fading away, and I bite my lip a bit. "I like you, okay? Not her. And she's jealous because of that. So she made of something or whatever. I don't really know." My heart skips a beat again, but it's not out of dread again.
Did he...? Did Ed just say he liked me? What the hell?!
"Um… I mean, it's totally cool if you don't feel the same… I mean… it's crazy and all, I get that…" Ed starts to stutter, realizing what he just said. I feel my cheeks heat up, my heart fluttering in my chest.
No way! He likes me too!
My mind goes wild with happiness as Ed continues stuttering and trying to cover up. Finally, I just take his hand in mine, effectively shutting him up.
"So, it's honestly a lie? You're not betrothed to Winry?" I ask, though I'm sure he wouldn't like either.
"Yeah." He says, seeming relieved that I believe him.
"I believe you then." I smile a bit and he sighs in relief, visibly relaxing. "Sorry for being a jerk...back when we left…" I say, resting my head on his shoulder. I feel his head rest on the top of mine.
"No, it's alright. I'm just glad that you let me explain. I thought I'd go crazy." We both chuckle a bit before the sun becomes too warm for us, so we go back inside. "I should probably go tell Al." Ed says, his hand still in mine.
"I'll come along." I offer, smiling at him.
That would've been the perfect time to say that you feel the same, you idiot. My inner voice curses me.
No, it's better this way. Let the trust reform between the two of you first, then find a better moment to tell him how you feel. A softer voice in my head tells me and I listen to that one, walking with Ed up to his and Al's room.
"Hey Al!" Ed calls and the door opens, revealing Al's broad shape.
"Brother, Jade!" I can hear the obvious smile in his voice. "Did you two make up and stuff?"
"Yeah, sorry for being a jerk." I say to him. It really hurts me to hurt Al, even something this small. He's already like a little brother to me too, though we haven't known each other too long.
"No, it's fine." Al says, the smile still obvious.
"Well, we should be heading out then." Ed says to Al and I gain a puzzled look.
"Heading out?" I ask and Ed chuckles.
"I was going to invite you along with, but I had to clear that up first."
"Oh, so where are we going then?" I ask him as we go into their room, us sitting on one bed while Al takes up the other.
"We're going to Xenotime to look for the philosopher's stone." He says, growing serious.
"Ah, I get it." I nod to him. "When are we leaving?"
"Tomorrow." He replies, flopping back on his bed.
"Alright, well I'll pack and tell Roy that I'm going with you two. Hopefully he doesn't scold or lecture you after last time." I giggle a bit as I stand up.
"Roy?" Ed asks, twisting his face is slight disgust.
"Yeah, my uncle." I say slowly, like speaking to a five year old.
"I'm not stupid; I know that's his name. Why don't you call him 'uncle' or something?" Ed frowns and I just shrug.
"I don't know; because I feel like it? Got a problem?" Ed rolls his eyes.
"Why should I care what you call him?" I just sigh and smile at him.
"You're so complicated, Edward." I chuckle at his expression for me using his full first name before walking out the door. "See ya later, Al!" I call over my shoulder and I can hear him chuckle too.
I go down to my uncle's office, being let in by Lieutenant Hawkeye. She smiles at me as I pass, and I return it as I enter the office.
"Oh, Jade. Something you need?" Roy asks, looking up from his work.
"I just wanted to let you know that I'm going with Ed and Al to Xenotime tomorrow. So you wouldn't panic when I wasn't around." His expression hardens for a moment.
"Are you sure you're up to it? You almost died last time." He says honestly and seriously.
"I know, but I don't want to simply sit around like a bum. Besides, they're teaching me more, and that's what the train ride is for." He sighs but nods, giving in.
"Alright, just be careful. And if I get another call saying you're on Death's door I'm going to blow." We both smile as I giggle slightly, waving at him as I leave his office to start packing.