**Told you guys! I didn't want to keep you all waiting, so I got started on this one soon after I finished up Chapter five (It would have been up sooner, but there was a power outage. Ugh). Since I got mostly everything I wanted to say out during the last chapter, I don't really have anything else to say other than...thank you all for reading this story still! And here is Chapter Six. Enjoy!**

Howie's POV

I was still stumbling over my words, but Howard was still being so gentle and caring. He wasn't rushing me or anything. He was just letting me take my time as I tried to think over my words still. I could tell that he had seen me start to cry, especially since he had moved closer to me and wrapped another comporting arm around my shoulders again as he gave them a gentle squeeze. "It's not that big of a deal." I replied with a small chuckle, trying to kind of wave it off as if it was nothing. I glanced t him through the corner of my eye and he, much to my displeasure, wasn't buying any of it. I could tell.

"Bullshit." Howard replied with a bit of a huff, his curly hair bouncing a bit as he shook his head. "You're crying. That's not no big deal." He countered. I felt his eyes on me as I wiped at my cheeks again, holding back as many of them that I possibly could that were still there. I could feel them stinging my eyes still. "I...I'm sorry I hit a sore spot, but if something's really bothering you this much, then you shouldn't be bottling it all in." He pointed out, yet still managed to keep his voice light and gentle. Howard was actually, serious concerned about me.

"Howard, come on man. It's really not that big of a deal." I tried again, wanting to sound as convincing as I could. I didn't need him to keep worrying about me like this. "I can figure it out on my own like a big boy." I continued on, trying to play it off still. I was hoping that my comedic side could somehow help me out of this situation like it did with a lot of others. "I don't need to get anything off of my chest, either." I murmured, though it was a bit of a lie.

"Stop it with the act, because we both know you aren't fooling anyone. Hell, you yourself don't even buy it." Howard said, finally getting off of the couch to face me. I looked up at him, my eyes still stinging a bit. "Please just...talk to me." He whispered out, getting a bit upset. And I couldn't tell whether he was going to start tearing up as well or if he was getting an angry type of upset. It was hard to read Howard sometimes. And it was especially hard when he had his sunglasses over his eyes like usual. He always seemed to have those on.

"What? What exactly am I supposed to say, hm?" I countered, pushing myself off of the couch to come face to face with him. I kept the distance between us though, not wanting to do anything I'd regret. "You basically already said it so..." I added on, crossing my arms over my chest as I clenched my jaw. He was being unbelievable. He was pushing me, and pushing me, and this wasn't going to end well if he kept going. I didn't want to talk about this and I thought for damn sure that I had made that clear enough. Apparently not.

Howard tensed up when I admitted that, a small noise coming from him. It sounded like he was trying to form a sentence, or trying to say something, at least, but nothing came out. It was just like a small squeak. He had his jaw opened for a few seconds before he realized what he was doing and he slowly closed his mouth. He hadn't known that he was actually so close to the truth. I watched him closely again, trying to read him still. I just didn't want him to get mad at me, call me a fag. Sure he said all of that stuff about me still being Howie but...how was I sure if he was lying or not? I've had so many people lie to my face throughout my life.

"Oh." Howard finally managed to get out after a pregnant pause. He took a few minutes still to kind of compose himself, a silence falling between us yet again. I can't believe we were actually having this conversation right now. As much as I tried to push it away, and postpone it, stall him a bit, we still came back to this point. Howard wasn't budging anymore. He was going to get the rest out of me. I knew he was. "So you do have feelings...for a guy?" He asked, making sure to keep his voice gentle still. How was he not freaking out? Why was I the only one seeming to want to freak out?

I wasn't sure whether or not I should nod my head to that. Was I supposed to tell the truth or would he believe me if I lied? I was stuck. I didn't know what to do. I looked away from him and down at the ground again, letting my tongue swipe along my front teeth gently for something to do; for something to keep my mind a bit busy. I kicked at the carpeted ground a bit with my feet, letting out another breath through my mouth as if to continue to stall. "I...It's complicated."

"Stop saying that. It's not really that complicated. Either you have feelings for the guy or not." Howard countered, his anger slipping into his tone. "How is it that hard?" He added on, causing me to swallow thickly. Why did he care so much? I just wanted him to stop now. "I told you that I'm not going not judge you. I want you to understand that." He was still in front of me, but I had kept some space between us to make sure that we didn't get too close. My head was still ducked down as well so I didn't have to look at him.

"I...yeah. I do! I have feelings for a guy!" I finally snapped at him, having had enough. I had looked back up at him by now and I felt a wave of guilt pass over me. Yet I kept my ground, not budging from my tough, serious act. I wasn't having it. "But it's only one guy. Sure we've all seen...attractive guys and we've all had crushes but I mean, there's this one guy that I could actually see myself having a relationship with." I tried to explain, my face heating up. It was embarrassing enough to finally get it out there, but it made it worse to actually admit it to Howard himself.

Howard kept our eyes connected (or so I thought. I still couldn't tell due to his sunglasses) as he was trying to figure out how to respond. His mouth was opening and closing again, before he just closed it completely. He didn't say anything, and I wondered if he thought I was going to say anything else. I didn't want to give away much more than that. I especially wasn't going to give away who said person was. But I knew he was going to ask.

"Do I know him?" Howard asked, causing me to tense up horribly. I knew that was coming, but it didn't stop me from getting all nervous and tense. "Is he...married to, or something? Maybe you just need to think all of this through still." He murmured softly, his eyes still watching me. I wondered if he could hear my heart pounding in my chest, the blood rushing to my ears. "Maybe...maybe you just think he's...attractive."

I shook my head in disbelief, letting out a small laugh. "It's not. I know the difference between a simple attraction like that and actually wanting a relationship with someone." I replied, before I began to chew on my bottom lip gently. I pursed my lips as I tried to continue on, having to work up my courage. "I have a wife, who I love deeply. I know the difference between finding someone attractive, and wanting to get with someone." I finally continued. "And I know that this guy...this guy is someone that I may be falling for." I admitted. It was the first time I was actually saying the words out loud. I couldn't believe it. It was terrifying still.

Howard moved a bit closer to me, sliding off his sunglasses so he could actually connect our eyes now. My heart was pounding in my chest again, having after just seemed to calm down. I had to keep myself calm, my hands clenched into fists by my side. I was holding back all of my emotions, as best as I could anyways, and I seemed to calm down just looking at him. He gave me a small smile and it made me smile slightly in return as my eyes watered for a different reason now.

"I...I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say." Howard replied, and I gave a bit of a nod. Of course he didn't know what else to say. I had just told him this giant secret that I hadn't told anyone. Not even my wife, though she deserved to know. I would tell her soon. When? I didn't exactly know that yet. I was still building up my courage for that. I needed all the courage in the world to tell her this. "But I'm glad you told me. I'm glad that you...trust me enough to tell me all this." He added on. And I was actually glad that he hadn't realized I had avoided a certain question of his. "I'm sorry I pushed you into telling me. But...I hate seeing you like this." He whispered out.

I didn't want to tell Howard whether or not he knew the guy that I...felt this way for because he obviously did. Since it was him. And I didn't want to give that away. He seemed to be happy that I was opening up about the situation none the less. It was still a start, right? I wasn't planning on telling anyone, not even my wife when I got around to it, who it was that I had these feelings for. "It actually feels...good to get it off my chest." I admitted, my cheeks flaring up a bit. God, I only ever got this bad in front of my wife and now...Howard. "I should be thanking you." I added, giving him a genuine smile, something that didn't happen too often now unless it was during the show (there was just an unlimited amount of talent), as I relaxed my posture. "And you really don't have to apologize." I murmured sheepishly with a shrug.

Howard let out a small chuckle, and this time it wasn't a sarcastic one like the rest seemed to have been. "Yeah? Well good. I'm glad. Maybe I can be like your therapist or something." He teased a bit, moving closer so he was able to nudge my shoulder. Our eyes were still connected and I could see all the concern he still held in his gorgeous blue eyes, and I felt another wave of guilt hit me. He didn't deserve this. I wish I didn't have to be such a burden to him.

Despite me having just told Howard all of this, he was acting as if all of this was no big deal. That's why I could call him a close friend. I just told him one of my more intense secrets, and he was still by my side. Something I was grateful for. Had it had been with anyone else, I'm sure they would have freaked out. Howard was just...different. We were both different in our own ways. That was probably why we got along so damn well.

It took me a while to realize how close our faces were by now, and it made my breath hitch in my throat. I didn't even realize I had been staring at his lips until I snapped out of my thoughts. Howard was so close I could just lean forward and...no. I couldn't do that. I had to stop thinking like that. If I kissed him, I would ruin everything we'd have: our friendship, our working relationship. And it would cause so much tension between us; it'd cause tension on the show too.

I didn't even see it coming, too lost in thought about the cons of kissing Howard, when I felt a set of lips on mine. I was shocked beyond belief. I swear I hadn't even moved. But here we were, with Howard's lips on mine as he gently kissed me. He was kissing me! This was definitely a changeup. Howard...was acting kissing me.

My own eyes were wide at first but they eventually shut as I leaned into the kiss. I hadn't been expecting this. Not by a long shot. If anything, I thought I would have been the one to mess up and kiss Howard; But...now I didn't get why Howard was kissing me. All I could think about were Howard's slightly chapped lips still on mine, our lips moving together as one.

It was over all too soon for my liking as I felt a solid hand push against my chest, putting the kiss to an end. I grew confused, and I opened my eyes just in time to see someone head out my hotel room door. It took a few seconds for my brain to process what the hell just happened, from the kiss to Howard leaving so damn quickly. I couldn't even get out a single word; feeling like my voice couldn't make it past my throat. I couldn't even open my mouth. Not that it matter since Howard was gone by now.

I had no idea what to do yet again.

This was worse than me kissing him.

Now I was even more confused than before.

**And that, is it for Chapter Six! I hope you guys all enjoyed that. A bit of a twist there, eh? Also, this was a bit awkward to write since all of my one shots are in third person, and I write this story in first person. But anyways...I should be able to update again soon. So stayed tuned guys! (: **