"So," Kol said to Roger, "How much explaining did you have to do in order to come over here?"

"Oh, not much," Roger said. "Not any, actually. Bonnie isn't home. She had to go somewhere, so we'll be able to conduct our business without worrying about her finding out.

"What?" Kol asked. "She's gone? Where did she go?"

Roger shrugged and moved his glasses back up on the bridge of his nose. "She was really vague when she told me. Some modeling assignment in the Caribbean, I think. Swimsuits." He grinned. "That'll be some good imagery for when I'm trying to get to sleep at night, huh?" He winked.

"What are you doing?" Kol asked. "Why are you talking like that?"

"Oh," Roger sobered. "I thought that was how guys talked to each other. Am I wrong?"

"In theory, yes, men talk like that to each other about women," Kol nodded. "But let's get one thing straight. We will not talk about Bonnie that way. She's too good to be talked about like a common whore. She's a lady."

Roger nodded. "All right," he said. "I'll remember that. No talking like that about Bonnie. It's a good first lesson. What next?"

Kol looked over his outfit. He was wearing a black and white sweater vest with a diamond pattern on it over a white button up shirt and a pair of black dress pants.

"Is this the best outfit you have?" Kol asked. "Don't you have anything, I don't know what the word would be. Flashier?"

Roger looked down at himself. "Not really," he said. "Is that a problem?"

Kol sighed. "No, it just means we'll have to make a trip to the mall."

Roger's eyes widened. "Do we have to go to the mall? I get nervous around crowds."

"If you don't go to the mall, how are you gonna get clothes?" Kol asked. "Who bought you your clothes before?"

Roger's cheeks became red and his eyes went to the floor. "My mother bought me my clothes, actually," he said. "She told me dressing like this made me look handsome."

Kol did his best not to laugh, but a brief chuckle escaped his lips anyway. "It's all right," he said. "Just so you know, your mother and the rest of the general population have different ideas about what's cool, but no matter. It will be easy to get you a new wardrobe. He pulled his keys out of his pocket. "Let's go to the car, shall we?"

Roger paled again and sat hard on the sofa. "You want us to leave right this minute? I can't! I haven't had time to mentally prepare myself."

Kol rolled his eyes. "How long will that take?"

"About a week," Roger replied.

"I don't have patience for this," Kol said, looking Roger in the eye. "You're coming now."

Silently, Roger got up to follow Kol to his car. They drove to the mall, where Roger nearly got stuck in the revolving door and refused to go up the escalator to the men's clothing stores on the second floor.

"And I don't like elevators either," Roger said, his voice shaking. "Can we just take the stairs? Please?"

"No," Kol shook his head. "You and I are gonna go on the elevator. You will like it. You will not be scared." Roger nodded and Kol hustled him on to the elevator, pushing and shoving in a way that made all the othe people in the elevator stare at them.

"Sorry," Kol grinned at them all. "My friend here isn't exactly fond of elevators, you know? Takes forever to get him on one."

Most of the people in the elevator looked away after that, but some still looked at Kol and Roger in shock, as if thinking, "Why are those two together?" Kol ignored them though, and when the elevator finally reached the right floor, he ushered Roger out and didn't turn around as the elevator closed. They then walked a few steps into a store that sold men's casual wear, and as they walked by a rack full of jeans, Roger let out a squeak and tried to hide behind Kol.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Kol whispered, pushing him away. "Get off of me!"

"Sorry," Roger said. "I'm just a little nervous, that's all."

Kol rolled his eyes. "Please tell me why."

Roger pointed at a broad shouldered, very muscular man with broad shoulders and beady eyes who was looking at a pile of t-shirts nearby. "You know, he's the sort of guy who used to beat me up when I was a kid."

"Yes?" Kol raised an eyebrow. "So what?"

"Shhh!" Roger put a finger to his lips. "Don't call attention to us. He'll come over here and-"

"Just shut up, would you?" Kol commanded, feeling disgusted. How this fool had even gotten Bonnie's attention, much less a long-term commitment out of her, he had no idea.

Just then, Roger whimpered and shut his eyes tight as the man approached them. "Hey," he said. "You guys need any help finding stuff?"

"Yes, please," Kol nodded. "My friend here has himself a dynamite woman and he's decided that his current wardrobe won't do anymore. He wants something a bit more casual and definitely more hip. Can you do that for us?"

The man grinned. "Sure," he said. Then he looked at Roger, who was still cowering, with concern. "Is he all right?"

"Yeah," Kol nodded. "He'll be fine. He just doesn't get out much."

The man still didn't seem convinced, but shrugged. "Okay." They went over to the shirt rack he'd been looking at before and stood in front of it. Then the guy tapped Roger on the shoulder. "Okay," he said. "What colors do you like? We should probably get you a few, so you have options. Do you know what size you wear?"

Roger cautiously looked at the man and eased toward the shelf with the shirts on it, picking out a red one, a blue one, a white one, a green one, and a yellow one. All the shirts were solids and while Roger tried those on, they got him some patterned shirts in the same sizes.

"Oh, my," Roger said when he looked at the patterned shirts. "Those are a little...exciting, aren't they? I want to look respectable, not like a hippie at a love-in."

"You'll look plenty respectable," Kol assured him. "This is the sort of stuff normal guys wear."

"But the colors...they're so bright and the patterns are loud and I just don't know if I can pull them off."

"Well, how do you know if you can when you've never actually tried?" Kol asked. "At least try them on so we can see how they look."

Looking doubtful, Roger took the shirts and a few pairs of jeans into the dressing room. After he'd shut the door, the salesguy looked at Kol. "So this chick he's dating? What does she do? She a teacher or a librarian or something, you know, a brainy person job?"

"Actually, she's a supermodel," Kol said. "And she's on a modeling assignment. I forget where, though."

The guy's jaw dropped. "Get out! That guy of all people is dating a super model?"

"I know," Kol shrugged. "It's a mystery to me too. She's my ex, actually."

The guy sucked in his breath. "Woah, man. Sorry about that."

Kol nodded. "Me too. You have no idea."

After getting Roger a new wardrobe (including a black leather jacket, which took a lot of convincing on Kol's part), Kol and Roger left the mall and drove back to Bonnie's house, where the answering machine light was beeping. Roger pressed the button and Bonnie's bright voice filled the room.

"Hi, Roger and Kol if you're there! I hope you boys are finding ways to entertain yourselves while I'm gone. Everything's so warm over here, which is a good thing, since we're doing a bikini shoot. And Kol, yes I do know that you're over there. Roger told me before I left that you were coming to help him out with some things. That's very sweet of you, thank you. Anyway, the cameraman is motioning to me that he's ready to start shooting again, so I gotta go. Talk to you later, boys." The message ended and Roger went to delete it. "No!" Kol said. "Don't do that. Why can't you keep it?"

"Why?" Roger asked. "We've already listened to it."

"Well, I know," Kol said. "But don't you want to have it in case you start missing the sound of her voice...or something? And it's not like you have any other messages on the machine. Just keep it, would you?"

Roger gave him a look. "Are you all right?" He asked. "Maybe you should sit down and take a breath."

"No!" Kol replied sharply. "I'm all right."

"Okay!" Roger said, putting his hands up and backing away. "I'm sorry. I just thought I'd make the suggestion."

They sat in silence for awhile, and then Roger stood up. "All right," he said. "We've had enough of a rest. Get some of your new things on. We're going to go test them out."

"Why would I want to do that now?" Roger asked. "Bonnie's not here. I thought the whole point of getting the clothes was so that she'd see them and be impressed."

Kol nodded. "That is the point. But there's more to it then that. We also need to work on your personality."

"What's wrong with my personality?" Roger asked. "Bonnie likes me the way I am."

"Maybe she tells you that to spare your feelings, but honestly, she's in a warm locale right now surrounded by handsome bronzed male supermodels wearing next to nothing. How long do you think you can skate by with your personality before she runs off with one of them? You need a competitive edge and I can give you that."

"Wow," Roger said. "I never thought of it that way. Bonnie seems so sensible though. She doesn't seem like the type to be impressed by looks and flash. For her, it's more about substance. Maybe that's why she used to date you and now she dates me." He grinned and let out an annoying, high-pitched giggle that made Kol wince.

"Damn it, stop that!" He yelled. "Just shut up!"

The giggles ceased immediately.

"Good," Kol nodded. "You do know how to listen. Now, as I was saying, get your new stuff on. We're going out."

"I take it you've never been to a club before?" Kol asked Roger as he led him inside.

"I've been to a book club," Roger said. "Does that count?"

"No," Kol shook his head. "That doesn't count."

"No," Roger said. "I haven't. What do I do?"

"Well, look around," Kol said. "You can do a lot of things. You can dance, you can have a drink, you could probably play a game of pool. It's up to you."

"I've never had a drink in my life," Roger said quietly.

"There's a big surprise," Kol rolled his eyes. He took Roger over to the bar and told him to sit down on a barstool. "What can I get you?" The bartender asked him.

"I don't know," Roger said. "I don't drink much. What would you recommend?"

The bartender looked him over and laughed to himself. Despite his new look, Roger just screamed intelluctual as opposed to party boy. "How about a Zombie?" The bartender asked. "Those are good."

"Oh, I don't know," Roger said hesitantly. "Is that strong? I can't drink anything strong."

"Oh, it's not strong at all, the bartender said, even though it was one of the strongest drinks he made. "Go ahead and try it! Something that has such a fun name couldn't be that strong."

"I suppose," Roger said. "Give me one Zombie!" The bartender mixed it up and plunked it down in front of him.

"Drink it slow," Kol said. "Just something important to know with drinks."

So Roger drank his drink and as he did so, a woman with streaked hair, a nose ring, a leather miniskirt and a purple midriff top came to sit next to him, motioning at the tiki glass his drink was in. "You're having a Zombie?" She asked. "That's great. I've always wanted to try one. How is it?"

Roger stopped drinking for a minute and smiled at her. "It's real good," he said. "I'd recommend it." Just then, a new song came on. "Hey," Roger said to the woman. "You wanna dance?"

"Sure," she grinned. "I'd love to." They walked out onto the dance floor together. Kol watched them intently, amazed at how Roger was staying on his feet, because unlike Roger, Kol did know how strong a Zombie was. He had no idea how the guy was holding his alcohol. Maybe it was a secret talent, something to grudgingly admire Roger for after all. They danced for a few songs and then came back to the bar where Roger continued to drink. The woman watched him in admiration and then ordered one for herself. Once she finished hers and Roger had finished his, he gave Kol a salute and then he and the woman grabbed hands and made their way to the door of the club. "Wait a minute!" Kol called after them. "Where are you going?"

Roger gestured at the woman. "Bridget invited me to come home with her," he slurred. "I think I will. Don't worry. I won't drive. We'll take a taxi. Goodbye, buddy. And thanks for the help."