(A/N)- As I promised...here is chapter 4.
Own Nothing.
Chapter 4
I told Kendall everything. Everything from being so in love with James that I could hardly control myself to how I found out I was pregnant to deciding to leave. I told him that it hurt like hell to just leave without even saying goodbye. He asked "Why didn't you tell me Katie?" "Because you would have talked me into staying and I knew I couldn't do that. I had to go." " Damn right. I would have made you stay, I would have given you no choice." "Exactly, that's why I never said anything to anyone other than mom." Kendall looked to my mom "I can't believe you kept this a secret for so long. Especially since you knew how much we missed her. For shit sakes, James was a total mess for months" My mom didn't say anything but me I was ready to cry my eyes out knowing that "James was a mess for months". I asked Kendal how James was. "He is better now. He has gotten over the fact that you left but does he still miss you? Like hell. He would never say it but we all know." My mom nodded. I wanted to cry even more now. Then Kendall said something that made my little world stop spinning. "Wait till he find out he has a child." My eyes shot to his "No Kendall. You can not tell him!" "Katie, he has to know!" "No Kendall. I don't want him to know." Kendall leaned back in his chair, ran his fingers through his hair and let out a long breath "How am I supposed to go back to LA and stare him in the face knowing he has a son here in Minnesota? Huh Katie? How? He is my best friend. I can't lie to his face like that." "Don't tell him anything." "Before I left I told the guys that I thought you may be here and that one of the reasons I was coming here was to find out. What do I say when they ask me if you were or not?" "Tell them I wasn't here" "Katie I cant lie to them, they are like brothers." "AND IM YOUR DAMN SISTER KENDALL. Blood. We are Blood Kendall. That goes deeper then 3 boys who you are in a band with." "Yes but those three boys have ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME. UNLIKE YOU WHO FUCKING LEFT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A GOODBYE, YEAH THOSE BOYS" then he stood, slamming the chair into the counter behind him. Before leaving the kitchen he turned to me and said "You tell him soon or I will." Then he walked out slamming the front door behind him. My Grandma stood. "Ill Go after him."
I looked at my mom. "Gosh why in the hell did he have to fucking come here? I was totally fine living my life the way it was. What the hell?" My mom didn't say anything. She just grabbed my hand and held it for a few minutes. "I need to go check on Cooper." When I got to the room I opened the door slowly. It wasn't time for him to get up from his nap but I was afraid that Kendall's little out burst may have woken him up. I walked to his crib and just looked at him and that when I began to cry. I didn't want anything to change. But as soon as James finds out about him it will all change. I don't want James to have to change his life around because of Cooper. I don't want Cooper to be a burden on James. I want Kendall to just keep his big ass mouth shut. That's not going to happen though. If I don't tell James he will. I stood there for a few minutes before I heard the front door open and shut. I walked back down stairs. Kendall was back. My grandmother asked my mom if she wanted to join her out back so Kendal and I could have a minute alone. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be alone with him seeing as how he was so mad and all. "Look Katie, I am sorry for yelling at you like that. I should't have went off. It's just I'm really hurt and upset but happy at the same time. Its a lot to take in." He paused and before I could respond he started again. "When I woke up that morning and Mom came down and told me that you had left, the first thing I thought was 'why? Why would she leave without saying goodbye? How could she leave me?' Then the next thought made me almost nauseous 'James! Does he know? If he doesn't its going to kill him!' Katie the first few weeks after you left, we were all like zombies, even mom. James wouldn't really talk to anyone. He did what he had to for the band but other than that he didn't really do much. The way he would just walk around with his head down was enough to break your heart." I started to cry "I'm so sorry Kendall! I never wanted to hurt any of you. I just thought I was doing the right thing. Big Time Rush was taking off. You guys had life by the balls. What was going to happen if I would have told you guys. Would you be where you are today? No you wouldn't have. James would have wanted to put everything on hold and I couldn't let that happen." "But we would have done that willingly. We all would have been OK with that." "I wouldn't have." "But is it fair to have someone's child and not even tell them about it. Think about it Katie, what if this doesn't come out now, what if it comes out when Cooper is 10, 11? James will hate you. He has already missed 11 months of that child's life. It's just not fair Katie. He has got to know." "Kendall, I can't." "Yes you can Katie. You can do it. If you don't want to do it alone I will stand behind you the whole way but don't ask me to go back there with this on my shoulders. It isn't fair to me either." I was now sobbing "Kendall I don't know how to do it, it's already been this long. Im afraid he will hate me anyway, I made a mistake!" Kendall grabbed me and held me tightly in a hug. "I got you Baby Sister, I got you!" After what seemed like eternity I lifted my head from Kendall's shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "I'll tell him." "Good because that baby is the most beautiful little boy I think I have ever seen and I can't wait to shout from the rooftops that handsome little boy is my nephew and I can't quite do that until James knows about him." I giggled along with Kendall. "Just give me a few days to get myself ready. OK?" "Yup!" Kendall wrapped me in another hug "I love you baby sister" "I love you too big brother." As we pulled apart we could hear Cooper "MaMa MaMa" I went to stand to go get him when Kendall stopped me, "Let me get him." Before Kendall reached the stairs I asked "Is James number the same as it was before?" He smiled, "Yeah" and then he disappeared up the steps. I pulled out my phone and went to my text messages, 'new text' I put in James' number and then started my text: Hey, its Katie. I know your thinking what the hell and you probably don't want anything to do with me but Kendall found me at my grandmothers, which I know he told you guys that he thought I was here. Anyway there is a lot that we should talk about. How sorry I am for starters...Hope to talk to you soon!
(Hope you like. R&R PLEASE!)