Chapter 6
(Back to Katie's POV)
It has been three whole days since I had text James and there hasn't been a single answer, nothing. I double checked with Kendall to make sure the number was right. "I think he hates me and doesn't want to talk to me, that's why he isn't answering me." I told Kendall while feeding Cooper. "Well Katie can you blame him?" I just looked at him with a 'what the hell' stare. "Think about it Katie, put your self in his shoes. You left in the middle of the night without a single word to anyone, well other than Mom. You never wrote, text, called or even emailed. You like, fell off the face of the earth. Imagine how he felt. Then out of nowhere you text him. So yeah, he probably is pissed. He probably has been for a while." I wanted to cry. I knew I had hurt him and he was probably still hurting. "Yeah if I think he is mad at me now, wait until he finds out about him" I said to him nodding toward Cooper "he's really gonna hate me then." "I think he may for a little while and then he's gonna realize that he has a son and that he has to get along with you for Coopers sake and then everything will eventually blow over." Kendall responded. "I guess" was all I said.
Kendall was leaving in the morning with my mom. He was going back to LA. He hadn't heard from James either. He tried to call him the day after I sent the text but he never answered. I was anxious to see what he was going to say to Kendall when he got back. I told Kendall not to say anything to him about any of this. I would talk to him as soon as he answers me. He would know everything and I wanted to be the one to tell him not Kendall. Kendall agreed and then my mom and him were on their way.
I wasn't going to call or text Kendall asking any questions. If anything had happened or was said he would call me. I wasn't sure if Kendall was even going to say anything about me either. Maybe he hadn't and was just waiting for James to say something and they were both just acting like it never happened. A week after Kendall left I had gotten a phone call from him. "How is my nephew?" "He is wonderful! How are you?" "I'm good, tired, long day in the studio today." "Awe, I love hearing that. Ya know about your music. I've missed it." "Yeah. I'm glad everything has turned out the way it has." I tired, I really did. I didn't want to ask but before I could stop myself it came out "Have you talked to James at all about me." There was a long pause and then he just started to talk really fast and spilled everything. "I asked him if he got your message. He said he did and then didn't say anything else about it. I asked him if he had any intension of calling you or texting you back. He said no and that there wasnt anything to talk about, you left and that's that. He said he has nothing to say to you. I told him that it was really important that he talk to you and he said if it was so important then why did she wait this long. I told him because what you were going through was really scary but he really needed to call you now and he kinda screamed no, he had nothing to say to you and you shouldnt have anything to say to him. He said you can continue to live your life in hiding and you can just leave him alone." After he was finally finished I noticed I had tears streaming down my face. Gosh i hurt him so bad. I started to sob. "Baby sister, Im sorry, But you knew this was going to happen, you knew this was going to be how he was going to react. Right?" "Yes but it still hurts to hear." "What are you going to do?" "I don't know. Maybe he's right. Maybe I need to just keep living my life in hiding. Stay here and he will never have to know about Cooper. If it ever gets out at least I can say I tried." "No Katie you have to tell him." "Kendall how would you like me to do that. He wont talk to me let alone see me. What am gonna do, send it in a text message? 'Hey I know you hate me and want nothing to do with me but uh you have a son who will be a year old in three weeks.' Um no thanks." "You could always just show up." "God no Kendall. Really? No." "Why not?" "Because I don't want to." "Why? This is your chance Katie. You have to tell him. He has to know. I can't keep this from him. Please Katie, Please dont make me do that. Please." "Kendall..." "Katie please." "I'll think about it." "Please." "I said Ill think about it."
That night I laid in bed with my mind racing. Could I really just show up there, at his front door with Cooper? What would I say when he saw me? What would he think? I can't do it. I cant. I rolled over on my side looking at Coopers crib only a few feet from my bed. His little face was pointed in my direction. God he looks so much like James its scary. That's another thing, if I just show up, would he know right away that Cooper was his? I mean everyone says he looks just like him. Well everyone who knows. I roll to my back again staring at the ceiling. If I don't go there Kendall is just going to tell him and then that will make things that much worse and shit will hit the fan. I don't want that but then again I CANT JUST SHOW UP THERE. Ugh! What am I going to do? I was to restless to sleep so I padded downstairs to get some water. Maybe that will help. When I got to the kitchen my grandmother was sitting at the table. "Cant sleep huh?" She asked as I made my way to the sink. I just shook my head as I filled the glass and took a large sip of the water. "Wanna talk about it?" She asked. I sat in the chair across from her. "James wont answer my text. He hates me I'm sure. Kendall said when he got back to LA James told him that he got my text but he wants nothing to do with me because I left him a long time ago and I need to just stay in hiding and go on with my life. I would be totally fine with that but there is one small problem, Kendall. He wont let it happen. He says he refuses to face James every day knowing that he has a child. He says it lying to his best friend and he wont do it. He said so if I don't tell him myself he will." I sat there staring at the glass between my two hands waiting for her to respond. Then she spoke "Look baby, I know you feel like in a way your life has been turned upside down but there is a reason for everything. I have told from day one how I feel about this whole 'hiding' thing but that aside you know what right and whats wrong." I looked to her and said "The only way to do it myself is to show up in LA with Cooper and tell him myself." "Well maybe that's what you have to do." "I looked at her "I think your right!"