(A/N) I have the time now so I figured that I would do another chapter for you guys. I really hope I'm not disappointing any of you. :/ But I'm having tons of fun writing this. Well let me get started.
Chapter 8
I went to get my jacket from the kitchen, it's a little chilly for LA. That's when I noticed Cooper sleeping on the couch with pillows around him so he wouldn't fall. I walked back to the door where James was. He was now in the foyer waiting for me. I walked past him and through the open front door. He followed, I could hear his heavy footsteps behind me. "Katie I'm sorry I yelled at you but this is crazy..." I cut him off. "I know James but you have to understand why I did this." We were walking aimlessly down a street I didn't know. I didn't want to look at him so I looked straight ahead. "Hold up. You left in the middle of the night, pregnant with my kid and you think I should understand that." "I did it for you..." "No, don't say that. Don't. You should have told me. That would have been the right thing to do. Not run in the middle of the night. I had a right to know." "I know you had a right to know. I think about it now and a part of me thinks that maybe I should not have left but a bigger part of me still thinks I did the right thing. You guys were on the rise. You were getting bigger, you were going on tours. Big Time Rush was becoming what you four always wanted it to be. I didn't want to jeopardize any of that. I wanted you to have the life you deserved, the life you worked so hard for. So I felt that the right thing to do was to just leave and hide it from all of you." "For how long Katie? How long were you going to keep this secret? If Kendall would have never found you, would you even be standing here now? Would you have ever told me about MY kid? Huh?" "Honestly I don't know. I think maybe eventually I would have thought about it but the longer I waited the harder it would have been. But the point is I'm here now telling you about him." He stopped dead in his tracks which caused me to stop. "Him?" "Yes, HIM, Cooper." "How old is he?" He has yet to look at me or even move. "He will be a year old in a week." I turned and began to walk again, he followed. "OK Katie I want to know everything. from when you left to when Kendall found you." I told him everything. When I found out I was pregnant. When I told my mom. When I left. When I had him. "I was two weeks past my due date, I was laying in bed when I felt like I had peed myself. I told my grandma and she took me to the hospital. I was in labor for 17 hours. He was born June 1st 2012. He weighed 7 lbs 4 oz and he was 21 inches long. He had a head full of dark brown hair and his eyes were deep blue but most babies eyes are when they are born. They eventually changed to hazel..." I looked to him "...like yours." He still hasn't looked at me. I kept walking and then I went on to tell him about Kendall finding me and how Kendall told me I had to tell him or he was going to because he couldn't lie to his friend like that. "So again, had Kendall not found you I would never have known about my son?" He said. "I don't know James. It's hard to tell. Like I said a huge part of me wanted you to know. It wasn't because I was being selfish or anything, it wasn't like I was trying to be vindictive. I was just looking out for you. Honestly." "Its just hard to wrap my head around this Katie. I was so heart-broken when you left I didn't think I was going to ever be myself again. I didn't know what the hell was going on with you. I had not a clue. This is far beyond what I had imagined." He paused then looked at me for the first time since we started walking, "You should have told me." "And what would have happened James? Huh? Would you have gone on with the tour anyway and left me and the baby behind? Would you have put your dreams on hold because of the baby?" "We would have figured it out but you didn't even give me that option. You took it upon your self and handled it all on your own. You didn't even give me a chance." "Because I knew what would have happened. You would have stayed behind and that would have messed everything up. You would have put your life and your dreams on hold. That would not have been fair to my brother, Logan and Carlos. They worked just as hard as you did to get where you guys were at the time and I wasn't about to be the reason all that was turned upside down." "KATIE, THIS WASNT JUST ABOUT YOU. THAT IS MY BABY TOO." "Im sorry, what do you want me to do? There is nothing I can do about it now other than ask you to forgive me and be apart of your son's life." "First of all I WILL be apart of his life, second I don't think I will ever forgive you for this." OK. I guess I could have seen that coming a mile away. How could he forgive me? He was hurt by this whole thing and I did it but one day he has to see the reason I did this and I didn't do it to intentionally hurt him. I honestly thought I was doing the right thing. Then he spoke. "Can I meet him?" "Of course, he might still be napping though." "Ill wait." "OK" We turned around and headed for the house. We didn't say a word to each other.
We walked into the house and I didn't hear any commotion or anything for that matter. I walked into the living room with James following close behind. Kendall was sitting at the other end of the couch with the TV on, the volume was really low. My mother was sitting in the chair across the room reading a magazine when she noticed us walking in. She looked to Kendall and said "Kendall, why don't you help me get dinner ready?" He looked up to James and I standing in the entry way to the room. My mother spoke again, "Now please." He got up and when he passed James he said "Congratulations man." And then kept walking. Cooper was still sleeping on the couch. I walked over to him and picked him up. "You don't have to wake him up. I can wait." "Oh no its fine, he should be waking up soon anyway he wont sleep tonight other wise." He squirmed a little but then put his head on my shoulder with his eyes still closed. "Coop, wake up baby, there is someone I want you to meet." I said rubbing his back. James stood next to me staring at Cooper. He looked sad, happy, joyful, angry all at the same time. "Cooper, wake up handsome." He squirmed again and then picked his head up, rubbing his eyes "Mama no." 'No' was a new word Cooper had learned in the last couple of days. He then looked around and his eyes fell to James. I looked back to James and saw tears welling up in his eyes. "Cooper can you say hi to your daddy?" Cooper waved and then began to rub his eyes again. He wasn't all the way awake yet but he was getting there. "Can I hold him?" James asked. I handed Cooper over. Cooper went right to him. He loves people so I knew he would go right to him. James took him and then sat on the couch where Cooper had just been laying. He sat him on his lap and was just staring at him. Cooper touched his face, "Dada" "Yes Dada, that's me." And then I saw the tears fall from his eyes. James Diamond was crying. Cooper smiled and James smiled back. James looked up to me. "Whats his full name?" "Cooper Allen Diamond." "You gave him my last name?!" I nodded my head and then sat down next to James. Cooper was playing with the buttons on James' shirt. We sat there in silence for what seemed like hours while James and Cooper just stared and smiled at each other. It was at that moment that I knew I should have told him a long time ago about Cooper. I suddenly felt guilty. The look on James' face made me so sad. Not only James' face but also Cooper. There was a year of Coopers life that James missed out on and A year that Cooper missed without his dad. I jumped up from the couch and ran to the bathroom. I felt myself begin to sob silently. God, how could I have done this? I'm such a terrible person. Knock Knock "Katie are you OK?" It was James. "Yeah, I'm fine I'll be out in a minute." A few minutes later I walked back the living room and James was still holding Cooper. I sat down. "Were you crying?" James asked. I looked away. "Katie why are you crying?" He didn't sound concerned he sounded almost annoyed. "I just feel guilty. You have missed out on a year and I feel like a terrible person." Tears began to fall slowly down my face. James continued to play with Cooper. "We can deal with that later. For now Im trying to catch up with my son." He didn't look at me when he said it. The tone in his voice made me feel worse. At least he has met Cooper. Nothing else matters. Right?
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