Chapter 2 torn and broken

I saw them coming, the three girls, and Renesmee. I wanted to reach out to her. Call her name. Hold her and tell her everything is ok. That I will stay with her forever, and all this was a misunderstanding. I was so mad at myself. What I had caused. Now as I look over I see Edward lying still on the floor. His eyes close, his family gathered around him trying to wake him up. His two brothers were screaming at me. Shaking me violently. But I couldn't react to this. I was frozen solid. Drowning in my actions. I could hear what they were saying but my lips wouldn't move to respond. I wish I could have died right there. But if I died what would Renesmee do. I know now I would never see her again. But she knew I was still alive and well. But if I died she knew there would be no chance of ever seeing me again.

Then the pain hit me. My arm first. Then the rest of my body. I couldn't move at all. Then another voice said. 'Pick him up carefully and put him on this stretcher'. I recognised the voice. It was Carlisle. Why would he help me? When I tried to destroy his life, expose him for what he was. I tried to talk again. My lips moved this time but no sound. 'Now Jacob, can you hear me'. Carlisle asked. I couldn't speak so I tried moving. It hurt but I managed a faint nod. He seemed satisfied by this. They picked me up. I moaned in agony.

'How is he Carlisle'? Bella said. I recognised her voice straight away.

'He has broken almost every bone in his body'. Carlisle replied. I closed my eyes. Trust Bella to care about me, even after everything that has happened. She still cared. I appreciated this.

'What about Edward'? She asked swallowing a lump in her throat. I felt so guilty I wanted to leap up and comfort her. Apologize for everything that had happened.

He paused for a minute. I could hear him sigh loudly. 'Bella, Edward is in a coma'. He said finally. She gasped. Shocked and confused. I tried to speak again but nothing happened. I felt something cold and sharp go into both my arms and my mouth. I had been put asleep.

Renesmee

I was sat next to Jacob holding his hand. He could hardly move. Jasper and Emmett had already told the story twice now. What had happened? My dad had apologized to Jacob. For some reason Jacob got mad, and even Jasper's power couldn't stop it. He phased and then attacked them all. My dad had gotten in the way to stop jasper and Emmett getting hurt. My dad was now in a coma, and Jacob couldn't move at all. Neither of them could tell the real story.

Mom took me home to sleep. I was tired. But I knew I wouldn't sleep. Two of the people I love the most were injured. My dad could be in a coma for a long time. That is what Carlisle said. He could wake up any day but he could never wake up again. Depending how hard he hit his head. Jacob on the other hand was already starting to recover. Carlisle had taken him to their house. He was keeping an eye on him. Updating his morphine doses. He was recovering well. Carlisle had rung my mom about an hour ago to tell her. Jacob still couldn't speak. He had hit his body hard. But in a few weeks he should be ok. I was thankful of this; tomorrow I would get to see him again. But Monday I had school. I hadn't even started the homework.

Jacob

I didn't know what time it was. At least I knew where I was. I was injected with more morphine every two hours; it helped relief the pain for a while. I wish I could talk. I had forgot how to though, I knew I had to move my lips and try to hum words out. It wasn't working. Had I damaged my voice box, or simply forgotten how to talk. Carlisle said to me that I might have to go to a special hospital, so they can teach me how to speak. It will be humiliating. I wanted to see Renesmee. I wonder what she thought of all this, I knew Edward was in a coma; I was reminded every five minutes. Everyone around me was talking about Edward, so I always got the latest on his recovery. He was still unconscious. He hadn't moved at all, Bella had taken Renesmee home to sleep; Rosalie was looking after her, while Bella stayed with Edward. I couldn't take the guilt. It built up inside me eating away at me. I would die inside even if I recovered fully. Bella checked up on me as well. She wasn't angry with me for what happened. She just wanted us both to recover fully. She sometimes sat by my bed, talking to me. Feeding me and helping me do things I couldn't do for now. She spent most of her time with Edward. Please recover Edward. Please.

Renesmee

I woke up the next morning. My mom was near my bed. 'Morning Renesmee'. She smiled sadly. 'How is my dad'? I asked. But I could tell by her face nothing had really changed. 'He is still unconscious, he hasn't shown any signs of waking up'. She held her head down. Her eyes were sad. 'Can we go and see him'. I asked.

'No, we are going hunting'. She said. I wasn't in the mood to hunt at all. But I nodded anyway.

We stopped off at Carlisle's house first, our second home. Everyone else looked as sad as my mom did. Alice wouldn't come out her room, and refused to talk to anyone. She wasn't coming hunting with us. Everyone was dragging their feet round the house. No one really cared about hunting. But we had to go. Billy was coming round to see Jacob today.

I was on my mom's back; Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper were in front of us. Alice had told Jasper to go ahead without her, he refused of course. But she wouldn't let him stay with her. She would go hunting while Billy was here. Emmett and Jasper decided to go somewhere else. Rosalie stayed with us.

We found a herd of deer in the back of the forest. Rosalie dived on two sinking her teeth into them. I followed the two smallest; I cornered them and dived at them. When I had finished I ran back to my mom. She had finished as well. We were ready to go home.

Carlisle had finished with Jacob, Jacob had almost recovered already. He could feed himself now and move his arm and leg. He still couldn't talk. Though. Carlisle was going to refer him to a hospital. He might need surgery. I wanted to see him. Even if he couldn't talk I wanted to hug him. He would still be the same, look the same, and act the same.

Jacob

I could sit up now. My eyes could open fully. I still couldn't speak though. I could feed myself though. This gave me more pride. I heard Carlisle say I would have to go to the hospital. He was on the phone earlier with them; they are coming to get me on Wednesday. I might need surgery. How would I explain the fast recovery? They would expect me to be hospitalised for weeks. I could be fixed in days. But if I had surgery I would be able to speak again.

There was a light knock on my door. I tried to say come in. but I gave up trying. Why did I even try? A face popped round the door grinning. 'Hello Jacob'. She said. She looked lovely. She was wearing the necklace I gave her with a wolf pendant. A long black skirt and a long cardigan. Her hair hung loose round her face and her cheeks were all red. She sat on my bed. Making sure she didn't sit on my arm or anything.

'How are you'? She asked. Stupid question really, how do I look to you? I kept it cool though feeling guilty straightaway. I nodded. Then frowned. My face was moving. I could move my face again. I suddenly smiled. She handed me a notepad. Smiling at me. I scribbled.

Hello Renesmee, I am so sorry for everything that has happened. I really am. When your dad recovers I will be gone. I don't want to cause you any more pain and hurt. I handed it to her. She frowned stroking my head. Tears filled in her eyes.

You just concentrate on getting better; we will talk about this when you are better. She handed me the pad. I read it. She didn't understand. When I am better I won't be around. I shook my head. She just hugged me tight. 'Now, don't do anything you might regret'. She said loudly. I sighed. 'Please don't do this Jacob. I need you'. She said. Then she left.

Renesmee

I didn't tell my mom what me and Jacob had talked, well wrote about. She had other problems to deal with. She spent all day with my dad. Talking to him. I kissed him and told him I love him. Then I had to leave. Billy was coming round any minute. Esme was in the kitchen cooking. It smelt like fish.

'Hello Billy'. Esme smiled at him. He returned the smile. 'Hello. He smiled and waved to everyone. They smiled and waved back.

'Smells nice'. He said making small talk. Everyone was polite and smiling even though no one wanted to smile. 'Yes it is fish, your favourite right'. She said. He nodded. She led him into the kitchen.

Carlisle and Emmett brought Jacob downstairs in the stretcher. They lift him on the sofa. Jacob moaned in pain. I sat with him holding his hand. He smiled at me.

Billy came into the living room after lunch. Esme washed the dishes. He sat with Jacob a long time listening to Carlisle. Carlisle was explaining the hospital trip and the operation. Billy was calm about this nodding every now and again.

'Thanks Dr Cullen'. He said after Carlisle had explained everything to him.

'Please, call me Carlisle'. He said smiling. Billy smiled back wheeling himself to the door. Carlisle opened the door for him. 'See you soon'' he said going to his car. We all waved at him. He pulled out waving at us.

Jacob stayed downstairs for the rest of the day. He watched TV all day and even ate some fish left over from lunch. Everyone helped him when he needed them to. I could tell he was frustrated. I stayed with him most of the day.

'Renesmee'. My mom came downstairs and broke the silence; everyone was lounging round the house. Alice and Jasper had gone hunting and still hadn't come back. Rosalie was upstairs with Emmett and Carlisle was watching the sun go down. It got dark early now. But the sight of the sunset was beautiful. Carlisle and Esme had gone out to watch the sun set properly. I had spoken more to Jacob with paper. He wanted me to have a normal life; he would still be around but not as close as before. I laughed. How could I have a normal life if my family are vampires? I begged him not to leave. My mom even had a word with him. But he wouldn't change his mind. If he were hospitalised he would have to stay with us for a while. I would have a little time with him. The day went quite fast. Jacob didn't need any more morphine, he had almost recovered. All the bones in his body had fixed and he could move and even walk a short distance. Carlisle bought him a wheelchair from the hospital. Jacob wanted to go out. If I couldn't see him anymore once he was fixed. I could spend time with him, while he is broken.

Jacob

Renesmee didn't get it. It's not like I don't want to be with her. I do more than anything in the world. It's what I did to her, and her family. She should hate me. She should send me away and never want to see me again. I didn't understand why her family would do all this for me. I didn't deserve it. Everything they had done for me. Carlisle had nursed me to health. He even paid for me to have the operation I needed. Bella was still by my side. Talking to me, comforting me, Renesmee hadn't left me alone all day. She was determined I see things her way. How much I wanted to give in to her and stay. She didn't know this of course. I would soon be gone from her life. She would forget me and move on.

We went out for a walk today; Renesmee was fussing round me, wrapping me up warm. Even though I already was warm. Had she forgotten that I didn't get cold? Or was she thinking any excuse to touch me and be close to me. She had hugged me at least five times in the last hour. I still could tell the time and know what date it was. Thanks to Carlisle. He always told me the date; I had a clock in the room I was sleeping in.

we walked around the streets going into the forest. Renesmee was happily talking about her day. She had finished her homework. The Christmas dance was coming up as well sometime. Hannah had mentioned it. She really hoped I would change my mind. I could see determination in her eyes, her voice also. She went on about how she wanted to have a friend with her through everything. She wanted someone to cry on, someone to go to prom with. Someone to marry, she even said if I never see her again she will never marry and she would rather be alone forever. She was making me feel guilty. I was wearing down.

Renesmee

We got home quite late. My mom waited by the door for me. I wheeled Jacob up the driveway. 'Renesmee, don't scare me like that again'. She said waving her finger at me. She then looked at Jacob who nodded sadly. 'I am sorry mom but I wanted to talk with Jacob'. I said. She raised her eyebrow at me. 'Talk'. She said.

'Well actually I was doing most of the talking, Jacob did answer'. I said pulling a pad of paper out my pocket. She nodded at me. Carlisle came to the door. 'Hello Renesmee, Jacob. Did you have a good time?' he asked. I beamed happy. Carlisle took Jacob upstairs. I gave him a hug and said goodnight to him. He smiled at me and nodded. 'Come on, bed time'. My mom said to me. I climbed on her back and she took us home.

The cottage was scary at night; it was in the middle of nowhere. Surrounded by forest and trees. There were a few lights scattered but it was mostly dark. Mom told me to go bed while she heated the cottage up; she turned most of the lights on in the cottage. It was so quiet without my dad. I missed him so much. I didn't get to say good night to him either. My mom wanted me to go straight home with her. She came in to say goodnight.

'Mom'. I said. When we were both quiet.

'Yes'. She finally answered. She had turned the light on.

'What if he never wakes up'? I said. It was meant to sound calm but my voice crumbled.

'I don't know Renesmee'. She said. She had obviously already thought about this because her voice sounded shaky and inpatient.

Everything was quiet for a few minute. My mom was sat with a serious look on her face. She looked like she was about to cry.

'Goodnight Renesmee'. She said. Turning off the light.

'Goodnight mom'. I said. She kissed me and turned the light off.

I couldn't sleep. If my dad never woke up. How would my mom cope alone for eternity? How would I live without my dad? I tossed and turned most of the night. Eventually sleeping when the rain started. I cried myself to sleep. My mom had to come in a few times to calm me down.

I woke up. Monday morning. The weather was exactly how I felt. The sky looked black and angry. The rain fell hard on the ground, it looked miserable. My mom wasn't in the best of mood either. She was staring out the window sighing. Her phone was on the floor. I heard her talk to Carlisle last night. It didn't sound very good, he was still unconscious and he hadn't moved at all.

'Morning mom'. I said. Trying to be a little cheery, it didn't come out as I had planned. She just stared at me. Then said 'morning'. Staring out the window again.

I was already dressed and ready to go. I sat on the sofa wondering whether to ask my mom for a lift. She seemed so depressed. After half an hour she got up. 'Come on Renesmee, school time'. She got the keys and her coat.

In the car she put the heater on, and the window wipers. We didn't say a word all the time we were gone. Today was going to be a horrible day. My mom was depressed, I was depressed and the day looked depressing. I wasn't in the mood to go school.

'Renesmee'. My mom said her voice making me jump a little. I looked at her, fidgeting with her hair frustrated.

'Yes'. I answered.

'We are staying with your granddad and grandma till your dad gets better, I am sorry Renesmee but I can't take it in the house alone'. She said. Turning the corner to my school. I actually didn't mind at all. It would be better at my granddad's house. The atmosphere wouldn't be so sad, and I got to spend more time with Jacob.

I didn't say anything to her. I wanted to cuddle her, and be there for her. I really didn't want to go school.

We finally stopped. 'Renesmee'. My mom called again. 'Yes'. I answered.

'I will have your bags packed when I come to pick you up'. She said.

I got out the car to spend a miserable day at school, I waved my mom goodbye. The rain was still hard. I put my hood on my coat up and walked into the school.