Disclaimer: Bleach and all characters in it are the property of Tite Kubo and Shonen Jump. This fanfic is not being written for profit, but to clean out my mental closet

As before, reviews are welcome, as is constructive criticism. In the case of the later, be brutally honest, but don't be abusive, please. And flames are…well, nobody's holding a gun to your head and making you read this, are they?

Thanks for the reviews, Sabrina1998 (my first), Million Dollar Age, Naybi and samantha626. I really appreciate the warm welcome to the community (and I hope I don't wear it out :)

There's some addendums at the end of this chapter (for anyone who cares to read them).

The Urahara Shoten hadn't changed a bit.

It wasn't a terribly grand place, just a small two-story building with tile roof and white-washed walls, one of who knew-how-many in Karakura, never mind the Home Islands. In front of it was a small yard made of bare earth; by design, Shaolin guessed, as there were never enough customers to trample the ground into such a state. The fact that the only way here from the main streets was through a narrow alleyway made sure of that.

No one entered the Urahara Shoten who wasn't specifically looking for the place.

And now she was here again, at a place she'd called home sometimes. She stood in the afternoon shadows of the alleyway, pausing to drink in the scene.

Not that Shaolin had been gone that long, just a few weeks, but it was nice to see some things staying the same.

If only the same could be said of the Hollows…

She banished the dark thought and focused more on what was in front of her. It was easy for her, just standing and looking at things, taking in their every detail and then discarding the unessential. And it was a necessity, considering her profession.

So was people-watching.

Humans could be a pain sometimes, but over the last century she'd come to appreciate the drama and energy of human lives, so different from the sterility of the Seireitei.

A young girl exited the shop carrying a broom. She was dressed simply and her long black hair was in pigtails that reminded Shaolin of a certain Vizard. Her face was calm and sad at the same time as she began to sweep in front of the Shoten's entrance.

Ururu…something; Shaolin didn't care to remember the family name. A girl Kisuke-san had hired at some point in the recent past. She looked whipped and broken, even though the master of the place was a kind man, and Shaolin had to wonder what the girl had gone through in life to be permanently marked like that.

There was another human drama in that face, Shaolin was sure of it.

"You're doing it again."

Shaolin had almost forgotten her earphone.

"Doing what, Hana?" She spoke softly, so as not to alert Ururu to her presence.

"You're standing around like an idiot is 'what you're doing again'."

Shaolin sighed. "You're just upset about not being in the gigai again."

There was a pause.

"Okay, but still…there are plenty of ways to spend your time more productively Shaolin."

"And use the gigai more productively."

The gikongan paused again. A sigh this time, Shaolin was sure.

"And use the gigai more productively."

Shaolin continued to watch Ururu calmly sweep the yard. Even though it didn't look like it, it seemed the girl liked sweeping.

Shaolin had hated it, hated the waste of her time even as she did it.

"And you would use the gigai for…"

Hana paused. She was thinking now.

Shaolin continued watching Ururu sweep, waiting for Hana's response. They'd had this 'argument' so many times now… These days it was almost a pastime, doodling in the cold ashes of a once-hot fire.

Although with the Hollows back, it might not be such an academic argument anymore.

"How about getting you a date?"

The answer caught Shaolin short.

"What?"

"A date…with a man. You know…"

"Where did that come from?"

Another pause and Shaolin was sure the gikongan was shaking its 'head'.

"You really are blind, you know that?"

"And that's an answer."

"Yes, my child. Until you have figured out the secret yourself, I can not teach you any more."

Shaolin half-groaned to herself. The ex-shinigami was still kicking herself over that night twenty years ago, even though Hana had been more than useful for well over that length of time.

If I'd only known about that kung-fu marathon on the tube…

Shaolin centered herself; she let Ururu's sweeping calm her. She could see a slight flash of red in one of the windows – probably Jinta.

"Anything else you might use the gigai for?"

Shaolin slowly set the bag Tatsuki had gotten her those years ago down on the ground and opened it up. Even as she started rummaging through its contents, she kept her eyes on the front of the store.

"I know that tone of voice… What's going on? I don't detect a Hollow…"

"No, not a Hollow…"

Even as she found the slightly large cell-phone in the sack and started drawing it out, Shaolin could see Jinta looking out the door of the shop. He was so fixated on Ururu that he didn't seem to notice anyone else in the area.

The little brat was definitely going to do it.

"Just a little red-headed jerk named Jinta."

Shaolin pulled out the phone and began to fiddle with the lid on the 'extra port' that had been installed on it.

Jinta meanwhile…

"Is he doing it again?"

Shaolin popped the port open and removed what looked like a honey-colored jawbreaker from the cell-phone. She set the device back in the bag and stood up even as Jinta came right up behind Ururu.

"Just about."

Shaolin popped the gikongan into her mouth and there was a rush as she was ejected from the gigai. As she left the physical body, Shaolin made sure to mask her reiatsu; she didn't want to cause any unwanted trouble for the shop or its denizens. But after a century the change had almost become instinct; there wasn't any more disorientation, just a slight 'shift' in her senses as she went from physical to spiritual body and a 'shell' that kept her reiatsu from being broadcast to the world.

That and the feeling of her black 'ninja outfit' covering her skin and a short zanpaktou materializing on her back.

"Hey, Ururu!"

"What the- Hey, Jinta! Jinta stop it!"

A zanpaktou Shaolin was seriously thinking of using on Jinta.

Once again he was using one arm around Ururu's neck to hold her fast, while the other was being used to give her a none-to-gentle noogie.

Hana didn't look too happy at the sight, either.

"So this is what you wanted to get out of the gigai for?"

Shaolin nodded.

"You know the drill."

"Do I ever…"

Shaolin's now-doppelganger displayed a hint of a feral smile before picking up the bag and starting to walk into plain view of the children.

"Jinta! You need to stop! You're supposed to be helping me sweep the yard!"

"Make me!"

"How about I make you."

Jinta paused as he noticed that he and his captive had an audience. And a not very pleased audience, judging by the look on his face.

"Um, Feng-san, when did you get in?" Suddenly he had a very sheepish smile on his face.

He also suddenly realized what he was doing. He quickly released his captive, and then shoved her forward, almost knocking her over.

Okay, you're definitely going to get it.

"What were you doing?" Hana's 'voice' – Shaolin's voice – was perfectly level, with only a slight undertone of menace

"Um…well…nothing much really…"

"He…wasn't really doing anything…bad, Feng-san."

Shaolin shook her head at that. How could anyone defend their own torturer?

Hana stood there, posing as though thinking about what to do to the little twerp. She waited a minute more, letting Jinta sweat a bit.

Then she shook her head and sighed.

"I guess I'll let you off the hook this time."

Jinta smiled in victory.

"But I can't say the same of Shaolin…"

Jinta's smile froze and he pointed at Hana.

"Wait a minute, you're…?"

Hana nodded.

"Then where's…?"

Shaolin activated her shunpo and 'stepped' right behind the boy, a squeak from Ururu giving the only indication the ex-shinigami had been seen.

But it wasn't enough to save Jinta from his fate.

Before he could even turn his head, Shaolin made her move. She balled her fists and drove them straight at Jinta's cranium, twisting vigorously as they hit their target.

And before he knew it, Hanakari Jinta was the victim of Shaolin's patented Double Diamond Drill Noogie.

"WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ururu simply stood a few feet away, clutching her broom and looking like she was trying to decide whether to be happy for the help or not.

"Ow! Stop, stop! I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, and I'll never do it again!"

"Hanakari-san, is something going- Feng-san, what are you doing?"

The deep voice of Kisuke's right hand man Tsukabishi Tessai boomed behind Shaolin, even as his shadow spread over her and her victim.

"Oh, just giving this little oni brat a lesson in how not to behave to your fellow employees."

Shaolin gave Jinta another second or two of scalp-polishing, and then backed off. The boy bolted as fast as he could, coming to stand next to his fellow employee, as Hana walked up beside Shaolin. The boy seemed to have been properly scared out of his wits, for the moment at least, while Ururu looked like she still didn't quite know how she should react.

Oh well, at least I got my digs in…

"Uhm, Feng-san…"

"The fact that I'm not in my gigai?"

Tessai murmured assent.

Hana sighed as Shaolin turned to her.

"And I was just getting to really enjoy the sun on my skin…"

"You can do your sunbathing later, Hana. Right now we need to make our friends less nervous."

Shaolin stepped into her other self, the two women quickly 'merging' and the shift in senses occurring again as spirit and artificial flesh became one. A moment later, Shaolin quietly coughed up the gikongan and began the process of putting it back in the cell-phone.

"What's your deal, anyway? I was just horsing around…"

Shaolin glanced at Jinta, who was still rubbing his head and was at least acting a little chastened.

"My 'deal' is that maybe this is hijinks now, but in a few years it's going to be very serious if you're still doing things like that to young women. Straighten up your act, or you'll be talking to the cops, not me?"

"Why should you care?"

Hana was back in the cell-phone, the phone in the bag, and Shaolin slung the bag back over her shoulder as she got up to her feet.

"I don't know if it survived the fire bombings, but there used to be a picture of this place back when it first got started. If you ever find it, take a look and you'll have your answer."

After all, Shaolin thought as she glanced at Ururu, us emotionally fragile introverts need to stick together.

Both of the children looked utterly mystified.

Shaolin now wheeled around to face Tessai, craning her neck back so she could at least attempt to look in the dusky-skinned giant's eyes as she spoke. It gave her a view of the plain workman's outfit and apron he always wore, no matter when she'd seen him. Although that was better than what he'd worn when he was leader of the Kidou Corps.

She bowed in apology.

"Pardon the incident just now, Tsukabishi-san. You understand why I might have done it."

Tessai took a moment to answer.

"I don't approve of the commotion in front of the store. But, I suppose I can overlook it this once, seeing as you are a friend of Urahara-san's and a valued customer."

The later being much more important than the former I'm sure.

"Hey!"

"Hanakari-san."

The gaze of Kisuke's manservant silenced the boy more effectively than Shaolin's threat would; he looked not terrified, but more than a little reluctant to cause any more trouble for the time being. With that settled, Tessai turned his attention back to Shaolin.

"I assume you wish to speak to the master?"

"If he's in."

Tessai nodded. "He is, though he's been sleeping in lately."

"Well, wake him up if you have to. I have something to show him from my trip." She shook the bag on her shoulder for emphasis.

Tessai raised an eyebrow.

"I'll do as you ask. Please come in and look around the store at your leisure, while I find him."

"And I promise, no more 'incidents' today." Shaolin smiled and looked at every other person in the yard for emphasis.

"Very good. Hanakari-san, Tsumugiya-san."

Tessai started back into the shop, the children following after him. Shaolin lagged a moment and then walked into the Shoten herself. The three employees disappeared further into the store-cum-home, and Shaolin tried and failed to see Hiyori following Tessai that dutifully.

To think two decades ago Hiyori had actually tried to get a part-time job here, as part of an attempt to come out of her shell. The image of the blond Vizard going anywhere, proverbial hat in hand, and meekly asking for anything taxed the assassin's imagination.

Much easier to see was the look she was sure was on Kisuke's face that day.

Shaolin would have killed to see that.

The inside of Urahara Shoten was just as unprepossessing as the outdoors; it was a simple general store, with various odds and ends. Bins filled with various candies or food stood in the center of the raised wooden floor, while shelves with more durable goods on them lined the walls. Shaolin took a moment to idly look at a T-shirt with a cat-stencil on it before turning her attention to another piece of memory.

On one side, Shaolin could see a cash register on a wooden countertop, ready and waiting for the money of customers who would only rarely come here. She walked over to it and casually examined the device, shaking her head at Ururu's luck to be in this time. A smirk appeared on her face as she again remembered her time here; she wondered if that damn abacus was still around. Knowing Kisuke-san, it was probably stuffed somewhere in the back, along with all the black market items nobody outside of Soul Society should have had.

Speaking of in back…

Even as the school bell rang for end of day, the people in Arisawa Tatsuki's class were beginning file out of the room. In fact, she could see once again that Ichigo was one of the first people gone…along with one of the transfer students. She shook her head as she started to pack her school supplies into the bag Feng-sensei had gotten her a couple of years ago.

Ever since that new girl had arrived, Ichigo had been acting odd. And he'd been going off to who knew where with her…a lot.

This is gonna make things difficult, isn't it. But I gotta hand it to you Ichigo-kun, you're smooth.

"Hey, Hime-chan!"

Smoother than some people, anyway…

"Uhm, what is it Honshou-san?"

A blood vessel stood out on Tatsuki's forehead as she realized it was going to happen again. Orihime's squeak confirmed it.

"Well, there's this neat new department store that just opened up in the shopping district, and I thought maybe we could go there and have some fun…"

Tatsuki turned around and saw what she'd expected: Chizuru had come right up behind Inoue Orihime, wrapped her arms around the ginger-haired girl, and had her hands clamped firmly on Orihime's bust.

And now the pervert was moving her hands generously over said bust.

"Uhm, that…really sounds…great, Honshou-san, but-"

"Wonderful, lets-"

Tatsuki couldn't stand by any longer.

"Take your hands off the cleavage, woman!"

Chizuru smiled evilly and shook her head.

"No way, Arisawa-san. I love Hime-chan, and I'm just expressing said love in a way that-"

"Will get you clobbered if you don't let go!"

Orihime looked distinctly uncomfortable. "C'mon, guys! Let's not fight."

Chizuru loosened her grip and little and laid her head down on Orihime's shoulder. The rapture on the red-head's face began to make Tatsuki's blood boil.

"That's what I love about my Hime-chan: she's so pure and innocent." Chizuru looked like she was thinking for a moment and then looked at Tatsuki. "You know, I don't think we should fight either, Arisawa-san. Even though you're a little butch, there's no reason we can't all be together."

She smiled brightly at Tatsuki and leered at her a little, and the brunette felt a chill go down her spine.

"How about we make it a threesome?"

Something in Tatsuki snapped, and before she knew it her right leg had left the ground. Her pelvis pivoted, and the bottom of one of her sneakers hurtled towards the red-head's face…

"Tatsuki-chan, no!"

Before Chizuru had a chance to react, Tatsuki finished a high kick she knew would make Feng-sensei proud. The shock of the blow made Chizuru fully let go of Orihime, which was technically something of a mistake; without an anchor, the red-head went flying back into the chairs behind her, landing in a heap. The other students still in the room took one look at the proceedings, one look at Tatsuki's face, and then decided to continue on with their business.

Thus it had been, thus it would always be, at Karakura High School #1…

As Tatsuki lowered her leg and got back to getting her stuff put away she couldn't help but grumble inwardly about what happened.

Why did that libertine have to pick Orihime to throw herself at all the time? There were plenty of other pretty girls in the class; why choose to go after the one with a karate-champ bodyguard?

And why'd she have to do it in public? That part of it was what made her skin crawl and her temper go off…

Tatsuki decided to shelve the dark thoughts and turn her attention to her friend. Orihime was shouldering her bag and looking at Tatsuki with a hint of reprimand.

"Tatsuki-chan, you didn't have to do that…"

Tatsuki rounded on the taller teenager.

"You mean you like getting your boobs massaged by that lesbian?"

The other girl blushed and looked nervous. She was reverting to type, doing her yes-and-no-at-the-same-time routine again.

"Well…"

Tatsuki just sighed in disgust and shook her head.

"I swear I'm investing in a crowbar."

Orihime looked puzzled.

"A crowbar?"

Tatsuki nodded vigorously as she finished packing her things away and the two of them started out the door. Orihime just seemed to concentrate and her face became serious as a train of thought formed in her mind…

…that promptly derailed.

A deadly serious look came over Orihime.

"Tatsuki-chan, we have to help Honshou-san!"

Tatsuki stopped dead in the hallway and just stared at her friend.

Help her?

"Why?"

"Because the baby Elvis clone needs to get back to the mother-ship!"

Tatsuki's mind momentarily stopped as she tried to figure out a connection between a crowbar and aliens. She just knew that scientists of the future would want to study Orihime's brain to see how it worked.

Whatever; I need to get Orihime-chan back to planet Earth…

Tatsuki made an annoyed frown and sighed.

"Orihime-chan, I wanted the crowbar in case that pervert Chizuru ever messes with your chest again."

Orihime looked puzzled again. "Why?"

"So I can pry her off you, and then brain her for touching you like that."

Orihime looked slightly defensive, the imminent alien crisis going back to wherever it had come from.

"I don't mind that much, really, it's…"

Tatsuki arched an eyebrow.

"You say that, but I know you don't mean it. Now, if Kurosaki-san were doing something like that to you-"

"TATSUKI-CHAN!"

The brunette smiled wickedly as she saw her best friend look utterly scandalized. Her eyes were almost completely round, as was her mouth, and her skin had gone pale.

And yet there was something in Orihime's grey eyes that said she wouldn't have minded something like that happening…

"What, I was just going to say I'd give him a small head start before I tried to kill him. Unless you didn't want me to…"

As they walked down the hallway, some of the other girls seemed to catch wind of the conversation.

"He'd certainly have a lot more to work with than that Kuchiki girl."

"Isn't that the truth?"

Orihime tried to keep her expression neutral, but her cheeks were turning red.

Tatsuki sighed at her friend's delicacy. Two years with Feng-sensei had helped work some of that out, sure. But the poor girl still had something of a shell when it came to stuff like this.

Especially when it came to a certain red-haired young man they both knew…

"Okay, that's enough guys. You keep on like that, and I'll give you a Tatsuki Special."

The other girls looked at her for a moment, thought about the matter, and decided they didn't want their faces rearranged. Tatsuki and Orihime were allowed to continue with only whispers in the background to accompany them.

Orihime still looked upset, even though she was trying hard not to.

"Look, I'll shut up about it, okay?"

The girl smiled a little more easily.

"Thank you."

The two students made their way out of the school building and into the late afternoon sun.

"Man, where'd the day go?" Tatsuki looked at her watch. "If we hurry, we can get to the dojo and get some practice in."

Orihime looked confused for a moment, and then a light bulb seemed to come on in her head.

"Oh yeah, Feng-sensei is coming back today, isn't she?"

The brunette smiled at the thought.

"Yeah, I wonder what she brought home this time."

For the first time that afternoon, Orihime was the one arching an eyebrow at her friend.

"She always does bring the best stuff. Or at least she brings stuff for you." She pointed to Tatsuki's somewhat old black and gold school backpack. "You are her favorite, after all."

Tatsuki arched an eyebrow as she heard the tone in the last few words.

"I am not. I'm just her best student. And is that an actual note of jealousy I'm detecting in your voice, Orihime-chan?"

Orihime looked almost as self-conscious as when discussing Ichigo.

"Noooooo. … Maybe… Though she has a good reason. I mean…you're going to that all-Nippon tournament in a couple of months aren't you? She's got to be proud of that…"

Tatsuki noticed the unease in her friend's voice, and looked over to see Orihime looking a little sad. She figured most people would have wanted to gently comfort such a pitiful creature.

Arisawa Tatsuki wasn't one of those people.

"Get your head out of your ass, woman!" She slapped the back of Orihime's head for effect, eliciting a yelp from the girl.

"Did you see her give me the keys to the dojo? No? She opened her home to you anytime you want, Orihime-chan. And you're one of her best students…after me, of course.

"Don't ever, ever think you're less capable or deserving of respect than me or anyone else! Or that Feng-sensei likes you less than me! And even if she does, who cares? Got it?"

Tatsuki fixed a glare on the other girl for a minute.

"Thank you, Tatsuki-chan." Orihime said quietly.

Then she turned around and gave Tatsuki a bear hug. Even though they were on school grounds. In the late afternoon.

With other people watching.

As soon as Orihime had let go and Tatsuki regained her balance, the brunette proceeded to clear the locale of on-lookers with a sweep of laser eyes. Then she turned her attention back to Orihime, who was smiling brightly now that her concerns were banished.

"Why'd you do that?"

"Because I wanted to."

As they continued on, Tatsuki shook her head ruefully. "Save it for Kurosaki-san, will ya? Now let's get going to the dojo."

"Yeah, let's kick each others' butts!"

Tatsuki suppressed a laugh as the two of them made their way onto the streets of Karakura.

Another reason why she's my best friend…

Some things to mention: Shaolin/Sui-Feng has of course been OOC (she's had a very different history), and several other characters will be a little OOC as well (for reasons mentioned in the story). I'm going to try to keep everyone mostly in character, which means if I've blown it on Tatsuki I'm in big trouble (she's going to be a major viewpoint character as the story progresses). And hopefully my OC Hana wasn't a bomb, since we'll be seeing more of her later.

Then again, she can always be involved in a horrible accident involving a pill crusher…

As for Naybi's concerns: I'll try to do better with the grammar, but make no promises (unfortunately I claim English as a primary language, so I can't use that as an excuse :). If this story gets far enough and the problems persist, I'll seriously think about a beta-reader.

And Yoruichi's hostility in the first chapter is deliberate; I plan to do a somewhat different take on the character. Don't worry, I'm not turning her into some evil witch (I would have stated so at the beginning if I was). Yoruichi and Sui-Feng simply had a very bad first meeting in the Living World, due to circumstances and their differing philosophies of life. I plan to reveal all (including the meeting itself) and hopefully it won't explode in my face like a 10-megaton nuke. This is my first story after all.