RDS I-II
Should provide a closer look on the more machine side of the issue.
The battle was hard and long fought Guardians, but you prevailed. Against immeasurable odds you overcame the enemy that walked our lands. Your light...
LEFT FLANK LEFT FLANK! DO NOT LET THOSE DREGS MOVE UP! Rolo! Advance your team that way, keep pressure on...
Although we lost many of our friends this day, rest easy knowing that we have scored a major victory against the encompassing hands of the Darkness. We are one step closer to reclaim our earth, and one day closer to...
"THE LAST ONE IS DOWN, FOCUS FIRE ON THE PRIEST! WE'VE LOST TOO MUCH ALREADY! DON"T GIVE THESE BASTARDS ANYTHIN-
Nilanna-26 was thrust awake by the sudden shock of her dream, a residual side effect courtesy of the synaptic like processes of her mechanical mind. But fear was soon replaced with frustration; post-traumatic stress was an enigmatic but malleable piece of code. She thought she had purged it's triggers long ago, but still it seemed to manifest in these fragmented "dreams" that occurred during her system's equivalent of sleep.
The Speakers resounding praises upon their return was appreciative if not grating. The battle in Old Russia had been the largest coordinated assault since the attack on the Black Garden several months ago. It was painful to be reminded of the losses, Guardians killed in action, unable to be revived by ghosts that were either lost in battle of destroyed by the conflict.
And that was even before the final assault when the Darkness reared its weakened, abet still powerful presence. It enveloped it's minions, protecting them while barring the automatic resurrection of Guardians. The fight was difficult indeed; their fire team had almost lost-
"Raiden." Nilanna said to herself.
She sat up a bit from where she lay to get a better view. She resided in her team's private infirmary within the tower, a perk of being a senior fire team. Especially for a group of guardians known to take as much damage as they dished out.
It didn't take long to locate her injured teammate, who lay in the gurney next to her. His sleeping form lay slightly propped up, an IV drip feeding him during rest. The burly awoken Hunter had done more than his fair share in the battle. It was pure luck, or lack thereof that he had been blindsided by that Fallen sniper. But Nilanna knew him well, he'd rise again more than eager to dive in to a horde of enemies when the time came.
Curious about the rest of her fire team, the exo attempted to sit completely up, but found the task extremely difficult. She tried again, but still failed in her endeavor. Odd, she didn't remember anything happening to her during the...wait.
She ran a diagnostic on herself, but nothing came up. This, of course, was wrong which meant her ghost Rave manually disabled something without updating her memory. She'd attempted to move all four limbs simultaneously to try and begin gauging what was wrong.
She immediately realized that she was numb, very numb. Which would typically mean her sensory array was either damaged or disabled...disabled? Oh no...
She moved both hands into her field of view, but only the left appeared. The memories began to flood back as she recalled the Fallen Captain that blew her right arm off.
"Goddamnit." she muttered as she examined her right side, the arm had been removed from the shoulder. Rave had probably borrowed a Frame and was repairing the damage right now.
She used her good arm to remove the sheet used to cover her form. She was alarmed to find that her left leg was also missing, but memories of why eluded her.
"Great." she thought, "now I can't even walk."
At least the rest of her seemed okay, just spotted with the usual amount of scorch marks and bullet holes.
There was rather glaring gash on her right breast though. Normally she could less about her appearance, especially these stupid breasts she had. They weren't even compressible like those of a human or awoken. They were just large, hard, and in the way. That's why a number of female exo have had theirs modified, changed or outright removed.
But these last few days she couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious. It was a nagging feeling, this dirty feeling that if she changed into something...if she somehow appeared less human, he wouldn't like her anymore. Although he himself had made it clear that this wasn't at all the case, she couldn't help but have doubts.
A knock at the infirmary door quickly brought her out of her uneasy thoughts.
"Come in" Nila called as she tried in vain to sit back up, giving up by the time the nurse had made it in. But relief swept over her when she caught a glimpse of her leg sitting on the cart the nurse brought in.
The nurse first made sure Raiden was in good condition before turning to address Nilanna.
"I just wanted you to know you guys are amazing." the Nurse said as she began to prep the leg for reattachment.
"Thanks" Nila replied hesitantly.
"No really, to know that we can be victorious after a hard battle like that fills me with hope that a better time is just ahead."
The exo only nodded as the nurse lined up the appendage with her lower torso. It adhered itself with a loud clank and a hiss of flowing coolants.
"Could you tell me what happened to my leg." Nilanna asked," I don't remember damaging it."
"Oh, one of your fire teammates, I can't recall his name but he thought you were beginning to lose some torque in the primary servo. He asked me to have some technicians take a look at it, and truth be told both your legs needed a bit of maintenance. But that's all fixed now."
"What about my arm?"
"Yes about that, your same teammate took it upon himself to repair it since all of our engineers are swamped with repairing not just injured exos but damaged drops ships, combat frames, you name it. Your legs where processed quickly because there wasn't much to do. But your arm, that's another matter entirely."
"Thanks, that's all I needed to know." Nila replied as she swept her new legs over the gurney to stand.
"Wait." the nurse the said, holding up her hands, "you still need a bit of rest, plus you need time to recalibrate your legs."
"I'll be fine." the exo replied as she gathered up the bit of her gear that sat on the table next to her.
The nurse however didn't look so convinced.
"Look, my personal quarters are a short distance from here, I'll be fine." Nila reassured her.
"Good, cause I'm walking you there."
Nila only rolled her eyes. Although the sentiment didn't last long, as she found she did need a bit of assistance, stumbling once or twice on the way.
By the time she arrived at her dormitory she felt stable enough to proceed on her own, bidding the nurse farewell she entered the premises and was met with what she feared.
In back of her dwelling where she kept her desk sat Raj, hunched over welding something as sparks kicked up around him. Orbiting him she immediately recognized Rave and Raj's ghost Gato-R, but she was surprised to see the matte black form of Raiden's ghost Viira.
"The mistress returns." Viira's brutal yet feminine voice spoke prompting Raj to stop and swivel around.
"Nilanna!" he exclaimed as happy as he could be. Raj stood to embrace her but she held up her hand to stop him.
"What are you doing?" the Hunter snapped a bit, bringing a worried look the Warlock's face.
"He's obviously repairing your right arm." Viira deadpanned.
Nila glared at the ghost before Raj spoke, "Sorry, I knew it would take too long for Tower's engineers to fix it, plus I wanted you to have fully mobility as soon as possible, so I started the repairs myself."
"It may not look it but from the fragments of memory Raj can recall from his previous life, he was an engineer of sorts, and it shows. He has steady hands and learns very quickly." Gato reassured her.
"Get out." Nila growled, seeming to have ignored everything said. This unfortunately was not surprising, so many calculations ran through her mind that moment, many of them featured fear and uncertainty.
"But-" Raj started.
"I said get out." she snapped again, louder this time and pointing toward the exit.
Raj looked toward Rave for backup, but the ghost could only provide him with a sympathetic look.
Hurt, Raj trudged out of Nila's quarters, trying once more to plead for a case he didn't know existed before giving up and turning away.
Nila dropped down onto her bed, and stared intensely at the ceiling above her.
"That was mature." Rave chided.
"And completely unprovoked." Viira added.
But their words fell on deaf ears as Nila's coded thoughts ran a mile a minute.
He hadn't just seen a part of her she wished would never come to light, he had been fully exposed. The difference between them now fully revealed.
She was a machine, he was not.
This fear was irrational, she was well aware of that. The very fact was brought up when Raj opened himself up to her. But that didn't stop it from happening, this wasn't normal.
They weren't normal.
She'd never heard of a relationship where the male had taken time to repair his girlfriend's arm. That didn't happen, it never happens. But now Raj had shattered this dark secret that only she knew about, or cared to keep for that matter.
"You're being ridiculous you know." Rave spoke, drawing Nila's attention and a glare at the invasion of privacy.
"It's not me," the ghost reminded her," you still have this tick where broadcast some of your thoughts on wider frequencies when you're upset. It's not like I was trying to read them."
"Gee, thanks" Nila griped.
"You know he loves you right? He was so eager to jump at the chance to learn something about you because still offer so little about yourself."
"I know Rave, I just...I just can't understand why."
"Then stop."
"What?"
"Stop trying to understand. Clearly trying to rationalize this has caused you to fabricate these terrors over the most trivial things."
"Trivial? How?" the Hunter snarled.
"Good lord Nilanna-26, I have literally no stake in this relationship yet even I can see that what he feels for you despite the fact you're an exo, shouldn't that mean something within itself?"
Nila wanted to retort but she had nothing, not even a bit. Everything her ghost said was true, but that didn't make the sting any less.
"I feel no sympathy for you, do you know that? Raj tries so hard and yet all you do is push him back because of this idiotic fear that one day he'll wake up realize you're not human. Why did you even accept his offer? You told me you would make progress but it only seems like you're moving backwards."
"You think I don't know that?!" Nila sat up, her one fist clenched, "You think I haven't tried? What do you care anyway?"
"Because I'm your friend too, Nilanna." Rave said softly. "And I care about you, we all do, even Viira who probably shouldn't even be here right now."
"Why? I do find this rather amusing." the black ghost chuckled.
"Shut up." Rave and Nila replied together.
"Although...I do have a valid point to add." Viira purred as she floated in between the two, "Raiden and I, we speak very little but listen quite often."
Both Rave and Nila and looked at Viira skeptically, her off-beat personally was nothing new, but what information would she really have. Like her guardian, she was as introverted as they came.
"I've heard the other lady guardians talking about your Raj. A handsome, kind, and gentle Warlock known to look past outward appearance. Your Raj is lusted after by male and female alike, I would not be surprised if he was scooped up by a beautiful awoken warrior or a human, just like himself."
"Raj wouldn't...would he?" Nila said aloud.
"I think the point small, dark, and brooding is trying make is how long do you think Raj's large and sometimes blinding devotion to you will last if you don't try to meet him half way like you claimed you would." Rave explained.
Nilanna glanced at Rave, then back to Viira before dropping back in bed and resuming her scrutiny of the ceiling.
"Nila, I'm going to call Raj back here so he can finish your arm." Rave announced causing the exo to visibly tense.
"Do it" Nila said after a long pause, not averting her glaze.
"So are we finally having a change of heart?" Rave asked.
"No, I want my right arm back."
Although hard to tell, the Hunter's ghost threw a look all to akin to a glare.
"I'd say that's close enough." Viira spoke.
Rave released an exasperated sigh before contacting Raj's ghost Gato-R.
Several minutes passed before there was soft knock at the door.
"You don't have to knock Raj." Nila called as she turned over in her bed to face the wall.
The Warlock entered with a still saddened look on his face.
"Listen Nilanna, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just barged into you room like that without asking you first."
"I'm not mad about that."
"Oh, um. Well I sorry abou-"
"Raj, stop apologizing." Nila said with a little edge a she rolled back over and out of bed.
She stood there for a moment, studying him, processing something, trying to establish a concrete idea, but it needed something...a catalyst. She began stripping what little hunter garb she adorned to make the trip back from the infirmary.
Raj looked quite taken aback at the random action before quickly averted his eye, a blush slightly visible even under his brown skin.
"Raj, look at me." Nila demanded.
"But you nak-"
"I'm not naked, we both know that no matter what you think, my "skin" is still a type of armor."
Reluctantly Raj looked up to glaze up the most attractive woman he'd ever had the pleasure of viewing.
Nothing on her form looked slender or fragile, like many female exos her chassis was designed to emulate a human female athlete in their prime. Human like metallic muscles coupled with traditional electromagnetic motors were tucked in to the chiseled perfection of her body. Her legs were long and powerful, her tampered torso provided her hips with a sway that could draw the eyes of any male.
Her flat stomach housed the life blood of every exo, a Golden Age micro-reactor, its functions and capabilities understood by only the ghosts and the Last City's most brilliant physicists. Her pert yet static breasts that made Raj feel ashamed every time he got lost in a fantasy about them. A particular, angular, almost androgynous face that Raj wouldn't trade for anything else. Quick and precise arms...well arm that could aim a rifle with pinpoint accura-.
"Look at me Raj, tell me what do you see." Nila asked again, ripping the Warlock from his trance.
"Uhhhh...what was the question?"
"What do you see." Nila growled.
"That you're still the most beautiful woman in the solar system, even though you're missing an arm." he replied sheepishly.
"Try again Raj, except not with the same line you fed me every week."
"But how?" Raj replied with complete honesty, "You are nothing less than stunning."
"Let's start with this." Nila scowled, pointed to the mechanical socket were her arm should be.
At this point realizing what she was doing, he refused to get short.
"I'm not going to say it." Raj said, crossing his arms.
"Why not?"
"Because that's not how I see you." he said finality, causing Nilanna to deflate a little. Pushed back but not defeated she slipped on the lower parts of her Hunter wear.
She sat back on the bed with a bit of a slump and just looked at him, willing for the answers to spew forth. Although her expressions where limited, Raj could see the pained contemplation she was doing. He sat down beside her, grasping her hand in his.
"You can talk to me you know." he said quietly, "I now this whole being together thing still bothers you sometimes."
"No…it doesn't bother me Raj. If I tell you anything now, it's that everything I'm working through, none of it is your fault."
"I disagree, any problem you have is a problem of mine too. Just tell me how I can fix it."
"If only it were that simple."
"Maybe it is, you do have tendency to over think things sometimes."
"What? No I don't."
"You think you're some emotionless machine, but we just spent last ten minutes trying to validate your insecuri-OW!"
Raj rubbed his shoulder from where Nila punched him.
"I wasn't trying to validate anything."
"Of course not." he replied sarcastically, "also you're made of metal, getting hit by you hurts a lot more that you think."
"Perks of being an exo," she smirked, "I get to turn off the pain."
"Well that's good to know, are you at least feeling a bit better?" he smiled.
"Yeah a bit, thanks Raj."
"Anytime."
"I guess I've been unfair to you." she started in a serious tone again.
"A bit of understatement."
"Really Raj? Who's the sarcastic one now?"
"Sorry." he smirked, beckoning her to continue.
"I'm glad you chose me Raj, but still I fail to grasp all that it truly entails. Parts of my processes still think this is some sort of farce, that some part of you hasn't realized that I'm a just a machine."
"Ugh, not this again" Raj sighed.
"No!" Nila said as stood before him, "This time I need to know why, it's paradox I can't solve on my own. Look at me, and tell me what you see? Tell why Raj, why me?"
Her luminous eye shown with an intensity Raj had assumed was only reversed for her enemies, but now burned towards him.
What could he say that he couldn't already? What had he left out of his tale? What could finally convince her that he didn't care she was an exo?
But the more the questions began to swirl around the more the same old answer keep surfacing. In fact he bit back down so hard on his default his normally cheery disposition kicked out a frown. He sat back against the wall that was next to her bed and crossed his arms, returning her scowl in turn.
This is something the exo had not expected. Raj angry? Had she stepped over a line? Clearly she had, but why this time?
"Don't play coy." she thought to herself, "You brought this on yourself, everyone but you accepts that he loves you, expect for you. In fact, you know what he's about to say."
"You still don't need or want a reason to love me do you?" Nila spoke.
"Exactly."
"But I do, when I truly shouldn't"
"Wrong." Raj replied drawing a confused look from the gynoid.
"Every day you think the smallest problems into the ground; you try to find an explanation to everything. To you every problem has a rational solution." Raj said as his features softened. "That's just who you are, so it doesn't surprise me that you keep asking me the same question. The problem is I've already given the correct answer."
He grasped her good arm, guiding her in front of him. She gave him a look as he beckoned her to move closer, when she would only lean in he pulled her into him until she had reluctantly straddled his lap. She could feel his Solar Light shielding him from her weight which washed a very apprehensive feeling over her. If he weren't a guardian her mass could have injured him, just another reason why...
Wait, what is he doing?
It would appear he had brought her all the way down here just to embrace, and that they did. They just sat there, for how long perhaps only the Traveler knew. But Nila stood fast with him, within a tender hug she could have left at any time but couldn't. Although it's what happened soon after that nearly made her jump.
With the prolonged absence of her arm, her sensory array had since adjusted itself to ignore any information coming from the empty socket. So there was absolute nothing to dampen the sensation of the kiss Raj planted on her neck.
Electronic eyes that had fluttered closed now shot open at the action, this was a major leap from the casual embrace they usually shared. She nearly tensed again when he placed another one, farther up the nap of her neck.
This was...interesting. Never in this life or the past had anyone shown her this level of affection, she wasn't quite sure what to make of it actually. But even that began to gray as he moved his hands down to small of her back.
They stay together like that, no more advances made, only the soft sounds of Raj's breathing and Nilanna's body venting heat.
"Raj?"
"Mm, hm?"
"Are we...damnit what's the word I'm looking for?...Cuddling? Is that what we're doing?"
"I think so?" he replied in a very unsure tone.
"He isn't sure what we're doing?" she thought.
"I'm going to guess you're not much of a ladies man, are you?" she deadpanned.
"No." he sighed.
A snippet of code within her found that very acceptable. "Honestly, I'm going to take that as a good thing." Nila said as she pulled apart just enough to look him in the eye.
"Thanks, I think." Raj replied. Several moments passed before he made verbal the issue that was on his mind.
"Uh Nila?" He grasped her a bit tighter when her expression remained even.
"Can you..." he whispered before pressing his lips to plates that defined her mouth. She was hard, metallic, but warm, so warm. A moment so euphoric he prayed for its eternity, but shortly only received its end.
Nilanna-26 pulled back within moments; surprise and fear. Those were the emotions Raj knew he saw flash through her electronic eyes.
"Can you, feel that Nila?" he asked, his anxiety beginning to intensify as his breath grew heavy.
"Yes, I can Raj. You know what else I can feel?"
"What else?"
"That fact that I have one arm." she purred, taking the first chance she could to completely shatter the moment and the tension.
His eyes flew open in shock as memories of the previous argument replayed themselves.
"Nila, crap, oh my god, I'm sorry." he fumbled over his words. He jumped to his feet the moment the exo slipped off his lap.
"Gato?" Raj asked when he couldn't summon his ghost. He turned back to look at Nilanna who only shrugged. She tried to contact Rave before scanning a few wave lengths for a signal given off by her thought patterns.
"They probably gave us a minute." she guessed as Raj slumped back onto the bed.
"I'm sure they know we're done with whatever it was we were doing, they'll be along soon." she added.
"What do think we were doing?" he asked.
"I don't know, I suppose you were trying to comfort me. She replied, bringing a small smile to the Warlock's face.
"But upon closer inspection, that seemed a little more self-gratifying." she smirked.
"I'm sorry...that is why I asked, I wasn't sure how, um, accurate an exo's sense of touch is."
"It's accurate enough Raj, but that being said, it's part of why I reacted the way I did. I have no clue how I'm supposed to feel right now. I have no reference, no instinct, nor previous experience."
"Oh, yeah I know but..."
"Tell me, how should I feel about this Raj?"
"I won't tell you that Nila." he replied, his expression rigid.
"Still? Something I should figure out for myself I suppose."
"Exactly."
She peered at him from the corner of her eye then looked back down. She unconsciously rubbed stump that was her right arm socket bringing a saddened look to Raj's face.
It was a few moments before she made eye contact with him and immediately brought her arm down, realizing what she doing. "I do genuinely feel better." she nodded bringing a small smile back to the human.
Maybe this was something, for the most part she knew a smiling Raj was better than a frowning one. And a comforting Raj was...
She rubbed the side of her neck Raj had caressed. Was that a good thing? Based on the biometric feedback she was getting during the event it was quite enjoyable for him, he was content, happy, and just a hint of, well, horny.
But there was joy, definite joy. And given their constant close proximity to one another perhaps this was the next logical step.
A new level of intimacy was the next logical step in an illogical relationship. Peculiar.
The exo's spirits lifted a bit as she continued her train of thought. It was peculiar, they were peculiar, strange, weird.
They weren't normal.
In the past she may have labeled this a negative, but now her systems could not define them as bad, only abnormal. And that had to mean something.
Nothing about them was bad, malicious, acidic, none of that.
And that was good right? Statistically yes. But statistics can be wrong, perhaps a test to confirm instead...
"Raj." Nilanna said after some time, the Warlock turned to face her expectantly. His eyes still brimming with hope, typical Raj.
"Show me how much progress you've made with repairing my arm." she said as she stood, beckoning him to return to the desk.
"Yes! Of course." he chirped as he bounded from the bed and onto the seat.
"I think I was almost finished." he said casting an orb of Solar energy above them to provide an supplementary light source. He pointed out where he was mending a support tube for her arm's tendons.
But he didn't seem at all shocked or disturbed in the least; in fact he truly was more eager than anything, just like her ghost claimed.
"Of course he's fine you moron." she thought to herself as he continued to highlight other repaired areas, "you were the only one with the problem. And guess what? You were wrong...well that's crap," she corrected herself, "I'm never wrong, only misinformed."
"We'll, how is it?" Raj asked, ripping her from her thoughts.
"Not too bad, Rave did a good job teaching you."
"Hm, I don't know, I still don't feel too confident with it."
"You've done a fine job so far, and I think I may be able to walk you through the rest." she nodded.
"Really? You know Rave said you weren't the best at anatomy." he chuckled.
"She would say that." Nila replied, looked rather unoffended, "But she isn't the best creative problem solver I know either."
"For example." she said as she held out her left arm. Raj watched as she remained still for a few moments, he almost missed the slight waver within the violet hue of those luminescent eyes: the tell-tale sign of an exo studying something with a multi-spectrum scan.
"There is nothing wrong with my left arm, and I know for a fact that mechanically it's a reflection of my right." the Hunter explained.
She pointed out where to start anew, spurring the Warlock into action. The pair toiled into the night to complete the project at hand only stopping to let the young human's hand rest. Unbeknownst to them their guardians observed from a far, and one was very pleased with what she saw.
"You two are still here? I'm not sure if this is quaint or pathetic." Viira's voice bounced through their processors.
"It's my job Viira." was Rave's snippy retort.
"Mine too." Gato added.
"Yeeessss, add the matchmaker to the long list of ghost responsibilities." the black ghost sneered.
"If I see fit to help my guardian's well-being, why not?" Rave asked.
"Because its trivial, especially in this case." Viira replied.
"We know you don't believe that." Gato said, "You're the one who pushed Raiden and Wrecker together."
"At least they're both compatible, you're oblivious guardian as fallen for a mechanical war machine." Viira bit back, her telepathic signal nearing a shout.
"And what's so wrong with that? You seemed for the idea no too long ago." Rave interjected.
"The foolish guardian is in love with a synthetic intelligence, why the notion is as ludicrous as a guardian being in love with a ghost." Viira screeched silencing both ghosts.
Gato-R peered over at Rave who kept her monolithic gaze trained on the black ghost.
"You're in love with Raide-"
"Shut up." Viira growled as she started to drift away from the two, although she didn't make it too far when a voice caused them all to freeze.
"I do find it reassuring that you 3 stuck around, but I really need you to shut up." Nilanna's transmitter pinged. "My boyfriend and I are trying to finish the delicate process of spot welding my arm with Solar Light, and now quite frankly, you're being as loud as hell."
The rousing announcement slapped a profound silence across the trio, only to be disturbed by the still slightly bitter but cynical wit of Viira.
"BLRAAG!" the black ghost shouted out on every available frequency.
You could almost see her angular form smile at the pleasurable change reaction to Raj's shriek of pain and a muffed explicative from Nilanna.
"Seriously?" Gato and Rave deadpanned in unison.
"Absolutely." Viira purred as she drifted away.
Was the discourse healthy and realistic given the context?
Do you feel this is a believable set of issues with exos?