Chapter 12 – I Walk the Line

Despite what she told Tara at the fair, Nelly felt terribly uncertain and confused about everything - what she wanted, what was good for her, who really mattered to her right now. Nel tried not to think of the way her heart melted when Harry smiled at her or the way she could still remember the strong, comforting touch of his hand on hers every time she closed her eyes. She figured it was a natural state for a teenaged girl with too much on her brains. Work kept Nel sufficiently occupied most of the time – she got a steady job of looking after two siblings, eight-year old sister and seven-year old brother she'd pick up after school and sit until their mom come home from work around 5 in the afternoon. She was occasionally called in by the parents for a Saturday night, but mostly had weekends to herself and Donna. Nel also took to attending boys' football games with Tara. She was far from a sports fan, but being swept away in excitement of a game was a thrill like no other, especially when Harry would make a deciding tackle or Jax scored a touchdown . They were quite good, she was told. Regardless of her uncertainties, spending time with Harry, Tara and Jax made her happy. She wasn't about to deny herself one of few good things in her life. Not for any reason.

Nelly watched Simon getting ready to go to club dinner at the Tellers on a Friday night. Her aunt refused to join him and Nel was sure the new bruises, Simon had recently graced Linda with, had something to do with it. Linda didn't love the club, didn't like being involved in its social life, so the excuse was welcome. Soon after he left, Nelly got a call from Tara, "Hey girlfriend, doing anything tonight? 'Cause Jackson called, and him and Harry need a reason to get out of a family dinner. They want to go to Folsom Lake." The state park was a popular hangout for families and teenagers, with a large lake and a rocky beach, not quite an hour's drive from Charming. The evening was balmy for late October, a true Indian Summer night, and Nelly couldn't think of a better way to spend it. Knowing well that there was a chance she might see Simon at the Tellers, she told aunt Linda where she was going. Nel was covered for the evening, and what she and her friends did after they left Jax's house didn't matter.

The girls arrived just in time for dessert. The Teller's wood-panelled dinning room boomed with cheerful conversation and laughter, bikers and their old ladies settled comfortably around big wooden table laden with delicious food. Nel recognized Jax's father, John Teller, at the head of the table, his V.P. Clay, Piney, Simon, and a few others she didn't know by name. Jax and Harry, chastised by Gemma for not inviting them to dinner, got up quickly and gallantly brought in extra chairs, settled the girls right between them. As a new face, Nelly instantly became centre of attention, which unsettled her, and she was glad at Harry's constant presence by her side. He introduced her as his friend and easily fended off any questions and comments with a smile. Everyone around the table, with exception of Harry's mother, proceeded to call him Opie and tease him about Nel being his girlfriend. Although they were both embarrassed by it, Nel could tell the ribbing was affectionate. She saw the glad smiles people close to Harry gave her, the way they looked at the two of them like they knew some secret she wasn't privy to. In some ways, it made her nervous, in others, it was hard to deny their good will and welcoming spirit.

"Forgive the old folks," Harry apologized in a whisper, as he handed her pumpkin pie, "Not often do they get a new topic for conversation."

"Let them have their fun." Nelly smiled and shrugged it off, finding the situation a bit amusing, if not a bit awkward.

Harry was right - it was a big family, the likes Nelly had never experienced before. There was genuine warmth and affection, true friendship between the SAMCRO members. This feeling of belonging was very seductive, and Nelly felt on the brink of surrendering to it. But the longer Nelly sat there, the more cracks began to show: emotionally absent and brooding John Teller; open hostility between Piney and Mary; Simon's excessive drinking; the closeness between Gemma and Clay, which John watched silently. Nel didn't think that Harry was idealizing this little group nor that he was blind to its faults, but like every family, this one too had its heartaches and dysfunctions. In Nelly's eyes, it made them all the more human and intriguing.

As everyone finished the meal and port was poured all around, Nel noticed some of the women getting up to help Gemma with clearing the table. She saw that Tara wasn't one of them, but it was just part of Nelly's nature and she started gathering empty plates. Harry told her right away that she didn't need to do this, but somehow, it felt like the right thing to do. As Nel came and went from the kitchen, she overheard snippets of conversation between Gemma and Bobby's old lady, Precious.

"You know, I have respect for Linda." said Gemma, "She doesn't like being part of it, so she doesn't come around with Simon."

"Yeah, not like Mary, draining the life out of the party and taking such joy in it."

Out and in.

"Piney's still with her only because he doesn't want to set a bad example for Opie."

"Piney is a good man." Precious agreed with a troubled sigh. "Too good for Mary, if you ask me."

Nelly clung the stack of plates she brought in to make herself known, "I think that's everything, Mrs. Teller."
"Thank you, honey." Jax's mother smiled. "Too bad your aunt Linda couldn't come."
"Bad migraine," explained Nel without batting an eye.

"Well, you tell her I said hi, and that we missed her." Gemma turned to the girl and leaned on the counter, looked at Nelly thoughtfully, as if considering her worth. After a moment, she added with a warm smile, "I hope we'll see more of you, Nelly."

Nelly smiled back, encouraged. "So do I. Thank you for having me." A thought occurred to her, that maybe Gemma was the person Linda could trust with the secret of misery inflicted upon her by Simon. Maybe not. It was a complicated world.

Once the food was gone, so was the reason for Jax's gang to hang around with adults. With hardly a wave goodbye, they took off for Folsom Lake in Tara's Impala.