Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but these characters are SO much fun to torment ;)
Chapter 4 ~ Need
BPOV
When I woke up around eight the next morning, my body was aching; yet, not in the way I would have thought with my activities the night before. After bringing myself to orgasm four times from Edward's words, it should have been only natural that my skin be a little tender. It had received more attention—and vigorous at that—in the past couple of days than it had in months. And now, my neglected body craved more. More touch, more pleasure...
More of him.
No man had ever aroused me to the point of being insatiable, but he had. From the moment we both stumbled into that chat room two nights before, despite my nervous and sober state previous night, he had awakened a side of me that had been dormant for so long and never as exhilarated. Even when he regretfully told me that he had to get a little bit of sleep before having to work and hold people's lives in his hands in a few hours, even briefly joking about his 'hand-hand coordination' beginning to falter, I could still feel myself throbbing with need. As I slid between my sheets and lay there staring into the darkness, the pulsing between my legs never subsided and I slid my shorts down my legs.
When my fingers grazed the warm skin, my hips jolted from the mattress beneath me and I groaned from the sensitivity, but it was far from unpleasant. I rubbed my fingers briskly over my clit, thinking of him and his words.
Those words. My mind knew that they should have offended me, and I'd even said as much to him the night before. Yet, the only reaction they drew from me was exhilaration. The raw need behind them matched my own, the only evidence of the effect I was having on him. Wanting my mouth on him, wanting to 'fuck me until I saw double' as he had said during one of our multiple sessions only hours before.
I felt my thighs begin to tremble and the rush of heat flooding through my body, bracing myself for the onslaught.
"Damn it!" I exclaimed in frustration as I came, but without the same intensity and force as the previous four that night.
And because of that, I had woken up still in this state of almost painful arousal.
I got up and showered, taking advantage of the removable showerhead... lackluster...
Dug my bullet out of my bedside table... couldn't quite get there and was going to be late for work.
Granted, it was only a part-time job to help with the bills, but I couldn't be late again. Losing my job would mean losing the comfort buffer that it supplied me as well. Besides the fact that I loved my job at the small coffee shop just off campus, few other jobs afforded me the luxury of the internet on my breaks to do homework or shoot off an occasional email to my parents in Washington.
The coffee shop was dead for a Saturday when I arrived, and after wiping down the tables from the breakfast rush, I found myself in the back corner booth with my laptop. With midterms coming up, Mike and I alternated between covering the counter and studying as much as we possibly could.
Staring blankly at the screen that currently displayed the first two paragraphs of my four-page Psychology essay that was due the following Friday, I found that the furthest thing from my mind was homework, or my parents, or anything besides the ache and the man who caused it as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat to cross my legs.
Something is better than nothing, right? Wrong!
I bit my lip to restrain the moan at the slightest friction caused by that movement and I knew there was only one thing I could do at that moment, even if I was at work. My eyes darted around the nearly empty coffee shop and then to Mike at the counter. Turning again in my seat, placing my laptop on my thighs as my back leaned against the wall, I opened my browser and clicked the history link. While I waited for the page to load, I swiveled my wrist to work out the kinks from the one handed typing from the past couple of nights, and a small smile tugged at my lips.
As soon as I located his profile, I immediately copied the email address from his information and pasted it into a blank message. I needed him again tonight, no matter how obsessive it was becoming.
Edward,
I got your email off your profile, hope you don't mind. I woke up this morning for work, completely exhausted. But it was definitely worth it. You want to meet again tonight, same time? It's only been a few hours, and just thinking about you is already making me so... anxious, I have no idea how I am going to make it through work today.
And I was thinking. Do you have a mic on your computer? Typing one handed is a little awkward, and it might be easier if we just speak to each other instead and concentrated our hands on other things. Love to see if your voice is as effective as your typing ;) Let me know.
I'll be wet and waiting at 9.
Bella
I hit send before I could change my mind and rested my head back against the wall. Biting my nail lightly, I clicked the send/receive button obsessively for several minutes, waiting for his reply and began to wonder if maybe I had gone a little too far. Not even allowing the thought to pass through my mind that he would still be at work, I was dreading the thought of never hearing from him or experiencing the effect he had on my body again. Losing the side of myself that only he had been able to draw out of me.
"Hi Bella," a soft voice broke me out of my thoughts and I looked up in time to see Alice settling in the seat opposite me with a grin that I knew all too well.
She had something up her sleeve.
"Whatever it is that's going on tonight, not happening," I said quickly, returning my eyes to my screen and clicking the button one more time to no avail. "I have this paper to get done, and I don't have time to go out."
"Bella, you never go out," Alice whined slightly, leaning forward on the table.
"I happen to recall going out just two days ago, and dragging through class yesterday with a hangover. Not my idea of fun, Alice," I grumbled in a monotone voice, still not meeting her gaze again as my body began stirring more with the memory of what that night had incited.
"You seemed to find Eric quite entertaining that night," she replied with a giggle and a wink, finally causing me to snap my gaze over to meet hers. "I seriously thought that we were going to be finding you in a dark corner somewhere when it came time to leave."
My eyes widened and I felt my face flush. Was that what caused me to go online in the state that I was apparently in? And with Eric Yorkie? Really? I began aimlessly tapping my fingers on the keys of my laptop, and shook my head. "All the more reason for me to bow out of this one, Alice. I definitely have more important things on my mind."
"Like?" she urged me to continue and I was sure the color flooding my cheeks was certainly no deterrent for her. "You have almost a week to finish that paper, and you could have that done in a night. Come on, it'll be fun. Live a little, Bella."
I sighed heavily, and once again, clicked the button on my email, and a nervous flutter rippled through my stomach as I clicked the incoming message with his name on it.
I'll be there. Mic on.
I fought the smile tugging at my lips, unwilling to give myself away and quickly tabbed to my essay again.
"I can't tonight, Alice. I have something I need to do," I replied and closed my laptop to put it back in my bag. "Maybe next weekend we can do something."
She rolled her eyes and grabbed her purse off the table. "And that gives you one more week to think of yet another excuse. How are you ever supposed to meet anyone if you never go out?"
I shrugged non-chalantly and slid across the seat. "Who says I need to meet anyone? I'm perfectly content the way I am."
She eyed me suspiciously and shook her head. "If you say so, Bella. I still think you could benefit immensely from a little tension relief. It's not getting any better, you know."
"I'm doing just fine all by myself. You go have some fun without me," I replied and waved as she stood and began making her way to the door. She looked back at me before she walked out with her hand to her ear and mouthing 'call me'.
"Okay, your turn, Mike," I said as I set my bag behind the counter and took his place at the register. He smiled gratefully and disappeared into the back room as I began taking the orders of an elderly couple who'd just entered.
My thoughts, however, were still completely on Edward. I had no idea how I was ever going to explain my nightly activities to my friends, my new reason for the lack of desire to leave my apartment. But it definitely wasn't something I wanted to see end anytime soon. The night before was the most alive I had felt in as long as I could remember, even without the sexual aspect. Just sitting there talking to him had felt so comforting, and I never once got the impression that he wasn't paying attention to every word I was saying. And with the added prospect of hearing his voice that night, it filled me with such a nervous excitement; it was the first thing I had actually looked forward to in so long.
The draw and connection I felt to him was surreal, as if it shouldn't exist. Maybe that was the instigator behind my forward request to actually talk to him, to make him more real. I hadn't realized before that email that I actually wanted him to be real. There was no underlying cause for him to associate with me. He couldn't see me, so there was nothing physical drawing him to me. The only thing concerning me about the evening was that once I heard his voice and he heard mine, my nerve would falter and he would realize how inexperienced at everything I really was.
He had told me the night before that he'd never done anything like that in the past, and while I had no reason not to believe him, I found it astonishing. He seemed so confident and knowledgeable on how to arouse a woman with merely words; I still couldn't understand how he was not taken.
Oh my god! I thought suddenly and froze in place, feeling the color drain from my face completely.
What if he was taken and it was his way of getting some 'on the side'? Anyone could type anything on a website without an ounce of truth in it. Thinking back to his profile and all the ridiculous things he had put there… why would his marital status necessarily be any different?
I felt my fists clenching at my sides at the thought. How would I feel if that was my boyfriend or husband, and some 'skank' online was giving him his pleasures?
And then, another thought struck me. What taken man would share his name and email address, connected with a major university hospital, and also be able to spend all night at a computer with another woman? And in addition, to be so willing to allow said woman to hear him and his surroundings, without even hesitating.
"Hey, Bells?" I shrieked as Mike came up behind me and held his hands up until I let out my breath with an embarrassed laugh. "You seem really on edge today. Are you all right?"
"Oh yeah, sorry. Just have a lot on my mind and didn't sleep well last night."
Well, if that isn't the understatement of the century, I don't know what is, I thought to myself and Mike's raised eyebrow didn't help at all.
"Well, if you need to cut out early today, Ang is coming in at two and I can cover the rest of your shift," Mike said with his hand resting on my shoulder and I shifted somewhat uncomfortably under his touch, which I had never done before.
Maybe it would be a good idea for me to take off early and collect myself. Sort out my head and think about what was happening to me. How a man I would never meet could take over so much of my life and my every day interactions. But I could also get home earlier and have a chance of maybe catching him sooner if he was around.
God, did I need help.
"Actually, that would be great, Mike. I have this essay due, and I really need some sleep," I replied in soft tone, looking down at the floor.
When Angela arrived at two, I quickly finished my tasks and cashed out, telling Mike I owed him one and running out to my car. The closer I came to my apartment, the more the excitement settled in over the nervous musings from earlier.
Dropping my bag in my chair upon my arrival, I hurried through my apartment to quickly shower and then set my laptop back on my desk, settling into my chair in nothing more than a fitted nightshirt. I typed up a quick email to him and looked down at the clock. It was four, which would make it only six his time. Would he be home yet? Would he even think to check his email before nine? He had to be exhausted after the previous night and a full day at the hospital.
I was too anxious to think about any of that anymore, and typed a quick 'hurry home' at the end and sent it off.
As the next hour slowly ticked by, my curiosity began to rise along with the anxious arousal just at the thought of him. I opened my browser and typed in the name 'Edward Cullen', having seen it in the signature of his email. Clicking search, the very first result appeared with a link to University of Chicago Medical Center. My cursor lingered over the link as I debated.
Did I want to know any more about him that I already did? Would there be a photo there? And if it did, would I want to see it? Would it disrupt my own perception of him in my mind?
'Chicago native becomes youngest Chief Resident in history of prestigious medical center' was listed under the link and I quickly clicked the red 'x' in the corner of the screen.
What would an obviously intelligent and successful man be doing on a site like that, much less associate with an ordinary college student like me? That thought made me sure that the less information I had about him, the better it was for my sanity. Even after only two days, I didn't want to lose what I shared with him. I wanted to enjoy it while it lasted without adding any more doubt to my fragile frame of mind.
I started to distract myself with a game of solitaire when the email notice popped up in my taskbar, and I practically leapt from my seat to open it.
Edward Cullen.
I bit my lip and clicked it, giggling as I read the contents.
Just got home from work, and just as anxious. Want to meet up sooner?
Edward
I instantly hit reply and my fingers flew over the keys, asking if right then was good and opening my browser again to log onto the site. The notification popped up in the lower corner of the screen that he was online and I took in a shaky breath as my nervous fingers ghosted over my touchpad to open a chat screen.
But he beat me to it.
Grneyeddoc1981: Now is as good a time as any ;)
My heart began racing and my hands shook slightly as I read the message from him, and I took a deep breath. Preparing myself for anything, I placed my buds in my ears and brought my fingers to the keys.
BellaNova: Are you ready?
Grneyeddoc1981: Ready when you are
"It's now or never, Bella," I said out loud and closed my eyes, clicking the green button that I'd hovered my cursor over a moment before and held my breath.
We both remained silent for several moments, the only audible sound from the other end being his soft breathing.
"Bella?" his voice came through and my breath hitched in a sharp gasp. Not only did he not sound like some perverted old man, but his tone was gentle and masculine... and god, so sexy. I was mentally thanking myself at that moment for not going onto that site earlier to see what he looked like. With a voice like that, I could imagine him as a perfect Adonis, never even having to entertain the idea that I might've been talking to a fifty year old man who just happened to have a beautiful voice.
"Hello, Edward," I replied with a soft sigh, feeling more nerves beginning to creep up on me.
Great idea, Bella. Now he's going to realize just how socially retarded you are and never want to do this with you again.
With that idea startling me slightly, along with the soft intake of breath from his side of the line, I licked my dry lips and began talking.
"So..."
"I..."
We both chuckled softly as we spoke at the same time, and I felt a shiver run through my body at the deep and soft tone of his voice. All man, and yet, so soothing.
"Ladies first," he said with a smile audible in his voice.
"This is uh... very different," I replied, so eager to hear him speak again and already feeling the tightness in the pit of my stomach from anticipation.
"It is, but better, I think," his voice came through and my fingers gripped my bare thigh as my hips shifted in my chair.
"That it is. Now we can put our concentration where it belongs."
"And where would that be? I think I need to refresh my memory," he teased, though I could hear his voice begin to deepen more.
I felt a smile tugging at my lips and I let out a dramatic sigh. "Well, I must not be doing a very good job, then. Guess I'll just have to try harder."
Then. the sound I hadn't realized I had been waiting for filtered through my earbuds and my hand involuntarily moved to massage my breast. He moaned.
"Fuck, if you tried any harder ..." he trailed off, his breaths becoming heavier into the microphone. "Tell me what you're wearing, Bella."
"Tight little t-shirt ... and that's about it. What about you?"
"Just a pair of scrubs. Long day at the hospital," he replied, and that time, it was my turn to moan softly. Guess I really do like scrubs. All I would have to do is pull that tie and... "Wait? No panties?"
I smirked as my free hand trailed down along my inner thigh. "Pointless piece of fabric, if you ask me, since they spend most of the time on the floor."
"Oh, God," he groaned again and the sound of it reverberated through my body as if he were there against me. "Are you wet, Bella?"
"Mmm very. I've been waiting all day for this, thinking about last night. Couldn't get enough," I replied in a tone I barely recognized as my own, subconsciously attempting to coax yet another reaction from him. It felt as if my entire body was aching for it as my fingers trailed lightly across my over-sensitive skin.
I heard his body shifting in his chair as the sound of the creaking leather came from his end. "You have no idea what you're doing to me."
"Why don't you tell me?"
"Shit, I am so fucking hard. Fuck, Bella."
I bit my lip, listening to his breathy moans almost whisper my name and rolling my nipple beneath the fabric of my shirt between my fingertips while my other hand lightly brushed the sensitive skin between my legs. "Do you have a fantasy, Edward?"
"Besides you riding me? Yes," his immediate answer came through, his voice growing gruffer by the second, his arousal evident in his voice.
"Yes, besides burying your cock deep inside of me... what is it?" I replied, closing my eyes and losing myself to the moment. I had always thought myself too shy to be so brazen with a man, ever; and yet with him, it was easy. Effortless. And judging from the sounds emanating from him, arousing us both equally.
"Fuck. My tongue driving you to oblivion on my exam table," he nearly growled and the image flew into my mind, my fingers moving more briskly over my skin as I envisioned my body spread over the table. My hands weaving into his hair as his mouth brought me to extraordinary heights.
"Oh. Fuck. Me," I panted, involuntarily arching my back as my fingertips moved lower.
"We'll get to that, Bella. First, I need to hear one of your fantasies."
I could hear his smirk reappear as he spoke and I tugged my lip gently with my teeth. What had I just gotten myself into? I really wasn't all that imaginative. "My fantasy? It's pretty lame but outside, on a car ... in public where we could be caught at any time. "
"Oh God. Fuck, I can just see your hair spread out over the hood of my Aston," he said, his voice lowering again and his breaths coming more quickly.
He owns a fucking Aston! I wasn't much of a 'car girl', but imagining him behind the wheel of a vehicle like that made me see him in a whole new light. "God, I wish you could feel how wet just the thought of that made me."
"I'd be taking everything you have to offer," he replied huskily, his voice causing a tremor to run through my body.
"Fuck, I would give anything to feel that right now," I panted, teasing the skin surrounding my clit lightly with my fingertips.
"Mmm," he hummed and I heard him shifting in his seat. I closed my eyes, imagining him loosening his scrub pants and pushing them down over his hips. "I can just imagine how amazing you taste."
I smirked as if he were actually there to see it and licked my lips. "Would you like me to find out for you?"
"Fuck yes," he groaned deeply and I shivered. The way he sounded when he cursed was so fucking sexy and arousing. "Take one of your fingers and touch yourself, baby."
I uncaringly moaned loudly as he whispered 'baby' and my fingers moved of their own volition, and slid inside me. Though I had heard several of Alice's past boyfriends call her that, I'd never had any desire to hear it myself.
Yet again, Edward had broken every rule and made it sound almost intimate, even in the current setting. I gasped sharply as I nearly came with the first thrust of my hand.
"God, so good"
"I need you to stop for a moment. Taste yourself."
"You're such a tease," I groaned, wanting nothing more than to continue my ministrations. I had never actually tasted myself firsthand that way, only on someone's lips after the fact. Yet, the thought aroused me, compelling me to comply with his request rather than simply playing the part. I brought my fingers to my lips, swirled my tongue around the tips before enclosing them in my mouth, and hummed contentedly. "Better than candy."
A loud, clearly audible moan escaped him and his breaths quickened more. "God, I want my mouth on you. Would you like that, Bella?"
"Fuck yes ... please," I replied, pinching my clit lightly between my index and middle finger, rolling it between them and imagining his soft lips on me in their place.
"So good. You taste like ambrosia. I want to bury my fingers, tongue and cock deep inside you," he spoke barely above a whisper, the height of his arousal evident in his voice.
Returning my hand to its previous endeavor, I resumed slow, deep thrusts with my fingers. My body convulsed slightly with each movement and I longed for his voice again, even though it had only been moments since I'd heard it last. "I want you. Hard. Now. I want to ride you until you forget your name."
"Oh God, Bella. Yes. So fucking tight and warm."
Our moans filled the air on either side of the line. "Clenching around you, taking you deep inside me."
"Balls deep, so fucking good," he breathed, our statements becoming shorter and more urgent as we worked each other closer to release. "Feel that? Hitting that spot deep inside you?"
"Oh god, yes. More, please."
"The sound our skin against each other. Pounding into you."
"Something like this?" I moaned and my hand began thrusting hard and fast against me, my palm striking my clit with every pass. The only sound from his side was a deep growl of a string of profanities, and the hint of his hand moving rapidly over his cock. Damn, why was that image so fucking hot in my head? His head pressing back against the seat of his chair, his eyes closed, and his lips slightly parted with his shuddering breaths as his fingers moved over his glorious length. Thank God I still had my own image of him in my head rather than succumbing to the urge to hunt down a picture of him earlier. He could still be perfect in my mind that way. "Fuck, Edward! Coming ... now ... Shit!"
"Let it go, baby. I'm not done with you, yet," he replied in a gravelly voice, and I cried out as I came with even more intensity than I had the night before. My thighs were still trembling as it slowly subsided, my hand still causing my back to arch as it continued to graze against my sensitive, swollen skin.
"God, Edward," I breathed out heavily with a shiver, swallowing hard in an attempt to steady myself.
"You all right over there?" he asked softly after another silent moment.
"Oh yeah," I replied enthusiastically with a soft chuckle. "This sure beats the hell out of typing."
He laughed softly, but his breaths were still uneven, reminding me that he still had not gotten his release, to my knowledge. Fuck, talk about stamina, I thought to myself. Either that, or I really need to build up my tolerance. "I'd have to agree with you there. I've never been so hard in my life."
"How about I taste myself on you this time?" I whispered in a soft, sultry voice and a low 'fuck' escaped his lips.
x-x-x
After Edward finally released—as did I, one more time—we reluctantly said goodnight, logging off to get some much-needed sleep from our late night the evening before. But not before we both came to the conclusion with each other that this was something that neither of us wanted to give up, confessing that no one else had ever made us feel that way. And with that knowledge— that I wasn't alone in that—I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep that night.
So, when he told me the following night that he could not guarantee that he would be on for the next week, having to spend a majority of it at the hospital on call, the sense of loss I felt was both deep and startling at the same time. Yet, it eased some by the same sound of longing in his voice as he told me that he would also miss our nights together.
Even still, I was surprised when he asked me, with a slight hesitance in his voice, for my phone number, so he could at least text me, if he got a chance. And what was even more shocking was my lack of hesitance in giving it to him.
For three days, I waited. Periodically checking my phone for any word from him, earning me several questioning looks from Alice and Rose. I was never one to cling obsessively to my phone for anything, so it more than warranted their curiosity.
How can I explain this to them? Do I even want to?
The answer was unequivocally no.
Besides being unsure of how they would react to their 'sweet little Bella' engaging in something as out of character for me as my actions were, I found myself unwilling to share, as well.
My time with Edward was something that was unarguably mine, and so was he for the few hours we shared together.
Mine, and no one else's.
On Wednesday afternoon, I was sitting in the coffee shop on break, with still no word from Edward, and I began to feel anxious. Had the time away from me changed his mind? Or was he simply able to distract himself in a way that I had found myself incapable?
Running my hand briskly through my hair and leaning forward with my elbows on the table, I selected his contact information and quickly typed out a message to him.
Forget me yet? ~B
I occupied myself by distractedly stirring my latte with the straw, my hands shaking uncontrollably. Is it possible to go through withdrawals from this kind of thing? Am I becoming an addict?
The ring from my phone signaling a new text message arriving pulled me from my ridiculous musings and I jumped to look at it.
Never, beautiful. Been hell here all week. Just woke up for a little nap. ~E
I smiled slightly at the endearment, causing a pleasurable shiver down my spine. Then, I smacked my forehead as I realized that I had probably just woken him for the few moments of sleep he'd most likely had in days. Guilt raged through me at my selfish need depriving him of the rest he obviously needed so badly.
Shit I'm sorry. Go back to sleep. I'll ttyl. ~B
I sighed, shoving my phone into my pocket and tying back my hair again to return to work. As I was washing my hands to relieve Mike from the counter for his break, my phone chimed again and I retrieved it, selecting the message.
Don't be sorry. Was already awake. Going back on floor. Text you when I get the chance. ~E
A wave of relief passed through me and I turned to the register with a renewed smile on my face.
My entire shift passed with nothing more from Edward, but I was far less antsy about it. Constantly reminding myself of all the episodes of ER I had watched, while I knew it probably paled in comparison to reality, helped to keep my earlier fears at bay.
As I was locking up for the night, I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. Walking to my car, I pulled it out and looked down to his new message.
You asleep? ~E
I settled into my seat and typed out a reply before fully entering the car.
Nope. Just got off my shift. ~B
Almost instantly, my phone began to vibrate again as I was just turning the key in the ignition. I looked down to my phone, finding the screen lit up and the butterflies erupted in my stomach. It was no text message.
He was calling me.
"Hello?" I answered tentatively into the phone.
"Hey, I only have a few minutes. Just stepped outside, and wanted to hear your voice," he replied as he exhaled heavily.
"Smoke break?" I asked, knowing that sound anywhere from the numerous phone conversations with Rosalie.
"Yeah, filthy habit, I know. And I'm a doctor, I should know better. I've heard them all, trust me," he said with a slight chuckle that held no amusement.
"Doesn't bother me. I did the same in high school," I reassured him, wanting to erase the nervous tone in his voice. Needing to hear my Edward. "Busy tonight?"
He groaned exasperatedly, far different from anything I'd heard from him a few nights before. "You have no idea, Bella. I know this sounds a little creepy, but your texts were the one thing that's kept me sane all night."
I felt my chest swell unexpectedly in excitement, and a soft sigh escaped my lips. "Not creepy at all. Yours have been doing the same for me. I've sort of missed hearing from you every night."
"We'll just have to make up for lost time Sunday night, won't we?" he said, his breath coming out in a rush at the end of his statement.
"That we will," I replied with a smile.
He was silent for a moment, and if it wasn't for the hissing sound of the doors somewhere beside him, I would have thought the call had dropped. I heard him draw in a deep breath and let it out slowly before he spoke again. "Bella, can I ask you something?"
"Of course," I said softly, confused by the nervous tone of his voice as I pulled into my parking space in front of my apartment.
"How do you feel about webcams?"
Oh. My. God.
*deep breath* Soooooo… what do you think? Still with me? Ready to bail? Think she'll give in? Let me know what you think.
Thanks for reading :D