Hello everyone (who's still reading) - I'm sorry it's been so long since my last update, but I've finally started my creative writing course and that kept me really busy! I'm very excited about it, and most of all, I'm hoping it'll help me write better fan fic! I promise, I'll try to get my next update as soon as possible. And as always, thank you for reading & reviewing! xo

Chapter 16 - Everybody hurts (REM)

It's been two days since the dance, and Harry still didn't know what to make of Nelly's kiss. Even if she didn't remember, he did very well. He replayed that kiss over and over in his mind, endlessly. There was no denying that it happened, so maybe there was something to it. But when he saw her at school on Monday, she behaved like any other day. Sure, she was warm and easy-going as always, but not a girl who was head-over-heels in love. He watched her walk up the main hall, her porcelain-white skin even paler than usual, her face tired with dark circles under her eyes, and all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her, pull her close and kiss her again, for real. Instead, they smiled at each other as she approached him. Then she seemed to take in the damage to his face and her perfect forehead creased, her beautiful green eyes narrowed, "Oh, Harry, it's worse than I thought. I'm so sorry."

"It's OK." He said, rubbing his bruised mouth self-consciously. "How are you feeling?"
"Not great, but better."

Jax appeared from behind his locker's door. "He was nothing to look at before, but now he's hopeless."

"I wouldn't talk if I were you, Jax." Nelly gave him a crooked smile. His eye was swollen shut and covered in a black bruise.

"Chicks dig battle wounds." Jax laughed, as he slammed the locker shut.

Nelly just rolled her eyes, and turned back to Harry, her face creased with concern. "Have you been called to see Principal Rush?"

"Not yet, probably in first period."

"Listen, I was thinking about it, and maybe Tara and I could tell him what really happened and why you and Jax got involved. Maybe you wouldn't get suspended then."

"I don't want to get you mixed up in this, Nelly." Harry knew what he was doing when he threw the first punch and he wouldn't have her make excuses for it.

"If you haven't noticed, I am right in the middle of it." She gave him a shadow of a crooked smile. "I've got to get to class, but I'll see you later."

She cared, he was almost sure of that. If only he had enough courage to do something about this desperate longing he felt for this girl, he would know the answer. But he couldn't face a very real possibility of being rejected. Being her friend, hoping and yearning, would have to be enough. It was better than flat out refusal.

As Harry predicted, he and Jax were called to see Principal Rush during their first class, fully expecting to be suspended over the fight on Saturday. They were surprised to find Nel and Tara walking out of the principal's office. Nelly looked at Harry with a hopeful spark in her eye and managed to whisper as she left, "It'll be all right." And sure enough, while the principal scolded them for getting into a "physical confrontation" and tried to sell them on "alternative methods of conflict resolution", he did not suspend them. The boys were free to return to class.

While waiting for girls to join them at lunch, the boys were debating plans for the weekend. Every Saturday, unless they played a football game, was spent at the Teller-Morrow garage. Tara was also busy, having picked up a volunteering job at St. Thomas, and Nelly usually had an odd babysitting job during the day. That only left them with Sundays, and even then, most parents demanded some family time. Any time they found for R&R was precious and always planned carefully. As soon as they had come up with a plan, Harry got lost in a fantasy of sitting next to Nelly in a dark theatre, their knees bumping into each other accidentally, their elbows touching on the arm rest. He could smell the scent of oranges in her hair, long wisps of it tickling his face every time he leaned over to whisper something in her ear about the movie. His body began to respond to the images in his head: the hair on his arms tingling from her imaginary closeness, the back of his neck burning, his jeans getting tighter.

And just then she sat down across from him, in the flesh, only a cafeteria table between them. She put a chocolate pudding cup in front of him. "I know it's not a banana split, but it'll have to do for now." Nelly's smile melted his bones, down to the core. Harry tried to do what he could to get his body to behave, for his face not to betray his thoughts, but this was hopeless. He thanked her as he blushed fiercely.

"Where's mine?" Jax complained, "I get no thank you, nothing?"
"For what?" Tara shoved him a little, "You should be thanking us. Besides, if it weren't for Harry, you wouldn't even come!"

"That's a minor detail." Jax spoke around a big bite of apple. "What matters is, I showed up."

"My hero." Tara said breathlessly and gave him an exaggerated kiss. "There. Better?"

"A little." Jax smiled at her and pulled her closer, planted a real kiss on her lips and made his girl laugh.

+0+

Nelly watched Harry cringe uncomfortably. She wished that Jax and Tara would hold back a bit sometimes. Watching their PDA was beyond awkward. All she could do was to change the course of the conversation and hopefully, distract them. "So what happened in the principal's office?"
"Oh, we were told to behave, and not get into trouble." Jax mimicked Mr. Rush's voice.

"But Alex and Brett got suspended," added Harry. "For what they did to you."

Tara smirked, "I guess they'll be happy with this little vacation."

"We should thank you for getting us out of trouble." Said Harry, as he looked into Nelly's eyes, then asked cautiously, "How are things with Donna?"

It hurt just to think about it, but she knew he asked, because he cared. She felt her eyes water. "I've called a few times, but they keep hanging up on me."

"Oh, Nelly..." Tara was next to her in a flash, her arm around Nel's shoulders. "That's so mean..."

"Maybe they'll cool off with time. You know, forgive and forget," added Jax hopefully.

"Maybe." Nel agreed feebly, grateful for her friends' efforts to cheer her up, but she knew better. Sue was unforgiving and overprotective. And Donna listened to her mother.

"You've got us, Nel. If they can't at least listen to what you've got to say, then you don't need friends like them." Tara argued fiercely.

Nel was touched by her sentiment, but Harry echoed her true thoughts on the whole mess when he said, "Easier said than done, Tara."

"I'll be OK," Nel reassured them, but had a hard time believing her own words. "Time heals all wounds, and all that..."

Jax and Tara bought it swiftly, but she could see in Harry's eyes as they met hers that he wasn't fooled. Regardless, the subject was closed. She would move on, in time. She might as well start now. "I guess we should celebrate the non-suspension. Any ideas?"

Jax and Harry exchanged a scheming look, as the blonde guy offered, "Folsom Lake?"

"Nah, too cold." objected Tara as she stretched up her arms, "I'd rather go bowling."

"How about that new Stallone movie at the AMC in Lodi?" Harry suggested.

Jax agreed a little too eagerly, "Yeah, awesome idea."

The boys high-fived while the girls made a face.

"Not another action flick," groaned Tara.

"It's only fair to let them pick. After all they almost got suspended."Nelly shrugged at Tara, who only huffed in resignation.

"It could be worse, I suppose."

"So, Sunday?" Jax asked his friends as he looked around the table.

They all agreed and disbursed to their afternoon classes.

+0+

In the next few days the boys' bruises, and Nelly's heartache over her rift with the Parkers, had just began to fade. Sunday was a beautiful day, clear and bright, kind of a day that made you feel like the wet North Cal winter would never come. Nel thought it was a shame their little collective had decided to spend it indoors at the movies. Well, maybe it won't be a total waste, thought Nelly, since the new theatre in Lodi had removable arm-rests. A picture of her snuggling up to Harry in the dark theatre flashed clearly in Nel's head. It was gone as quickly as it came, but it covered her body with goosebumps. Was that what she wanted? Was that how she truly felt about him when she wasn't paying attention? The certainty of it hit her like a lighting bolt, and Nel knew that she wanted to tell him. That she had to tell him.

Excited and nervous, Nelly waited impatiently for the gang to pick her up. They were running very late. In itself, it wasn't unusual, but out of all days, today she really wanted to make it in time for the show. She dialled Tara's number with nimble fingers. There was unusual urgency in Tara's voice as she picked up the phone, "Oh my God, Nelly, didn't you hear? I was sure Harry had called you."

"No, what about?" The anxiety made her stomach clench. "What's going on?"

"Jax's dad died in a bike accident, Nel. Cops just told him and his mom."

Nelly was struck mute as all the gut-wrenching feelings from long ago flooded her again. The white patrol car, the khaki uniforms of the cops that came with the news, the empty house since that day.

"I'm just leaving for the Teller's house." Tara's shaky voice brought her back. "Please come with me, Nelly."

As much as Nelly didn't want to witness Jax's grief, didn't want to relive her own, she felt that maybe she could be of some help, and agreed.

As the girls drove up to Teller's large house, they found the boys sitting on its front steps, Jax leaning on Harry. Tara parked and ran to them. Jax stood up and went to her blindly, his face streaked with tears, and burst into sobs as soon as she hugged him. Nelly walked over and hugged the both of them, smoothing Jax's back. "I'm so sorry, Jax." After a few moments, she left the couple alone, and joined Harry. For a moment, neither one of them was sure what was the appropriate thing to do, so they half-hugged awkwardly. When Nel pulled away, she asked, "Where's Mrs. Teller?"

"I think she's in the kitchen." Harry gave her a careful look, "Are you sure you want to do this, Nelly?"

Nel just nodded as she headed into the house.

She found Gemma sitting by the table in the kitchen, with a ashtray full of cigarette butts and lighting up another. Nelly sat down next to her and touched her hand. "I'm sorry about your husband, Mrs. Teller."

"Oh, sweetheart..." Gemma sighed and her eyes filled with tears. "It comes with the life."
"Still, it's not easy." Nelly was painfully reminded of her mother's death, all the feelings that came with it. "We'll take care of Jax, Mrs. Teller. He won't be alone in this."

"Thank you, baby. He's got good friends." Gemma smiled at her sadly.

"If there's anything I can do for you..."

The woman shook her head. "Just be there for Jax. I can take care of myself."

There was a knock on the back door, and Clay Morrow came into the kitchen. His eyes were tired, his face grim. Without a word, Gemma gravitated towards him, and big, bad V.P. Clay embraced her tenderly. In the meantime, Nelly slipped out unnoticed.

Nelly returned to the front porch, hoping she would be of more use there. Jax was devastated, just sitting there and crying, flanked by Tara on one side and Harry on the other. "He didn't even try to stop. The cops said there were no skid marks. He just crashed right under that tractor trailer. He didn't break..."

It really wasn't a place for her. Jax had his girl and his best friend to comfort him, there was nothing else she could do. Except she was the only only one who knew what he was feeling right now. That was the reason why she decided to come.

Nelly knelt in front of Jax and covered his hands, crossed over his knees, with hers. "I know it hurts like hell right now, Jax, but it'll get better. With time, it won't hurt so much." Jax looked up at her, his eyes tearfully and full of grief, but said nothing. She knew he wouldn't believe her. So Nel gave him a hug and and left him in the hands of his closest friends. She glanced at Harry and whispered, "I have to go."

He nodded in comprehension, but his eyes were concerned as he asked, "Are you going to be OK?"

She forced a smile as she nodded.

She was walking away when Tara called her back, then threw her keys to the Impala. "I'll cal you," said her dark-haired friend.

As Nelly drove herself home, she felt grateful that they all understood each other so well.