A/B: I contemplated putting this next chapter up so soon, but I may as well, seeing as its already done and I probably read it like 1000 times already... It definitely gives a lot more insight into Renji's story, but also, raises a few questions. Its pretty short, like a filler but has some explanation. If it feels a little rushed, sorry, it is to lead onto greater events! I hope you enjoy it! Thank you so much to the reviewers! Your feedback is always helpful! Please review, nicely, thank you! And thank you so much to the faves and follows! They are so encouraging and are appreciated!

My parents left later that evening, my mother with tears in her eyes. As brave as she was trying to be, I knew that it was killing her seeing me there. I walked to my room after the meeting and finally decided to face my demons. The scar.

I had avoided looking it. It was barely noticeable now that I had gotten my tattoos; even observant Byakuya did not notice it. I was sure Hisagi had while tattooing me; however he never mentioned anything about it.

Now standing in front of the mirror, I could see the long stitched gash that had been bleeding so profusely all those months ago, like a dried up river that had roared so fiercely once. The result of a flood of emotions, I could not contain.

She had finally dumped me; officially, I could see the determination in her perfect features. She was finally going to rid herself of me, once and for all. Purged her life of the thing that caused her so much pain. I was a cancer in her life.

Standing on the bridge, we stared each other down. I didn't beg, nor ask her to stay. I did not threaten her with suicide, because I knew I was going to do it this time. No more bluffing.

She walked away from me then, and left me standing on the bridge. For a moment, I considered simply jumping off. Then realized I hadn't said good bye to my foster parents.

I walked home slowly, considering all the options. Overdose? Hanging? Cutting? Stabbing?

By the time I reached home, I had settled for stabbing. It was painful and gutsy… honorable, because I wouldn't want to cause my foster family shame.

I walked into the house and sat with them for dinner. Between mouthfuls of Miso soup and rice, I took in the kind features of my foster parents. They were very similar in looks; both had brown hair and eyes, both had easy smiles on their faces as they discussed the summer festivals. After dinner, we watched TV, but I was barely aware of what was going on. I could only think of what I was going to do.

The clock struck ten pm. It was time.

"Goodnight parents" I said, bowing to them. They looked at me, slightly perplexed; it was strange of me to be so formal and respectful. However, I could show them nothing but respect after how they were still able to care for me after all the crap I had put them through those few months. I stood and walked towards my room.

I had been taking classes to master the katana and had received one for my birthday the previous year. I had called it Zabimaru, which meant "snake tail"; the quirk was enough for me to fall in love with my katana.

I picked him up from its perch on my wall, and held it close to my chest, before removing it from its sheath. I took its hilt in both my both my hands and extended them until the tip of the blade was an inch from my abdomen.

I took a deep breath, readying myself for the world of pain, but also to the freedom in death. And with one swift motion, drove it half way into my body. It was a nice clean cut, and I collapsed on the ground, the pain flowing through my body in waves of agony. It felt like a hot poker was driven through my body, and emanated a burning, hollow pain. I stopped breathing from the pain alone and my eye rolled to the back of my head. The last thing I remembered, what my mother's cries of surprise and horror at her child's suicide attempt.

I stared sadly at the scar. I was such an idiot, to think that my death would have solved everything. I always believed that if I had succeeded maybe things would be better, but I failed, and now I was paying the consequences.

I was lucky no organs were severed or punctured; I was lucky I had no knowledge of anatomy and how I could have really sealed the deal. When the doctor said that with a smile, I wasn't sure whether to kill him or use my plastic pudding spoon to gauge my eyes out.

Sitting in my room then, I stared at the floor in contemplation, when Yumichika and Ikkaku walked into my room, a tangle of legs and arms, all over each other. Their faces were smashed together in a passionate kiss, saliva and hair from Yumichika all over the place. They finally found the bed, and began deepening the kiss, exploring more of each other.

I coughed, and they abruptly stopped.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Yumichika asked indignantly. My mouth simply gaped open, like a nutcracker. Ikkaku pushed Yumichika off, grabbed me and walked me to the hall.

"You will not talk about this to anyone" Ikkaku stated, a threat lingering in the air.

"He's a dude" I said lamely.

"Yeah? So? Renji, it doesn't matter, he likes me, who gives a fuck if we both have dongs; I love this guy" Ikkaku said dreamily. I nodded slowly, and began to walk away as he returned to him love fest with Yumichika.

Seeing macho man Ikkaku expressing his love, especially to a man was an eye opener. I always imagined him with some hot curvy blonde girl who was as dumb as doorknob. Now I realized that he was deeper than that, and that made me consider…

"Come in Renji" Byakuya said flatly. I stepped into his office and took a seat. It was raining again, but with the dropping temperatures, it was going to be snow soon. I wasn't sure whether to celebrate or curse the change in weather. Byakuya caught me staring out the window contemplatively and then coughed. I turned to him.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Fine… finally looked at my scar, actually I wanted to show it to you" I said, standing up and lifting my shirt before he could say anything. I didn't know what I was doing, but instinct told me this was right.

He looked at it, and a slight change in his face occurred. His eyes softened, his eye brows ever so slightly pulled upwards, his lips dipped at the sides, his jaw settled into a sad frown. His features had transformed so drastically, I was not used to this new look.

"Renji-"

"I stabbed myself with a katana" I said, moving closer. I don't know why I felt the sudden urge to be open and blunt about it. It my way of finally facing my demons, speaking out about my greatest regret. His eyes grew sadder and his lips parted, as though he was searching for something to say. Finally something escaped his dry mouth;

"You are both very brave and strong, but a complete imbecile" he said. I looked at him and laughed.

"Wow, I haven't heard that one before" I laughed, as I pulled down my shirt and took a seat. Somehow, it felt good sharing my scar with Byakuya; I wanted him to know…

"There's something I don't seem to comprehend" he said

"What's that?"

"If you could do something as brave as stabbing yourself with a 17 inch sword, how could you not have the same courage to live" he said simply. We stared at each other. He looked at me expectantly, waiting for things to click, and they did.

"I only realized now, how I should have used that strength elsewhere" I said lamely, and sighed, burrowing my head in my hands.

The following day, something unexpected happened. Once in a while, patients from other asylums would be relocated to our asylum. I wasn't sure if it was because they had improved or gotten worse. They came from Las Noches Asylum, which was for the most utterly, completely, dipshit insane people out there. And now, they were here.

The first I found out about was a large breasted, orange haired girl who apparently was schizophrenic, screamed all night about things called "Hollows" and apparently saw the ghost of her dead brother. She also said that her friends were little fairies that lived in her hair. She was a pitiful thing, and I often looked at her, talking to nothing but the air around her. Her name was Orihime.

Along with her came an emo, abused little man, with large green eyes and dark black hair. He never showed any emotion, and the only person he ever interacted with was Orihime, listening to her rants about the Hollows. His name was Ulquiorra.

Along with them came Haribel; who was apparently always in a mask and straight jacket at Las Noches, but was free here, her eyes darting all over the place; Nel, a green haired girl who was in for schizophrenia and firmly believed that she was a five year old child; and the last, a fascinating creature.

He was lean, searching the room with cool blue eyes in determination but confusion. You aren't sure why you are there, and I could see the same look of misunderstanding on his face. He looked broken, but strong at the same time. He was a paradox. Shy yet confident. Imperfect and yet absolutely perfect in every way. He looked at me and smiled. I found myself smiling back.

During dinner he approached and confidently said, "Hey, I'm in here for passive-aggressive behavior and attempted murder, hello to you all"

Ikkaku was dumbfounded, Yumichika blown away, Kira wide eyed; even Hitsugaya batted his eye lashes in shock. I stared blankly and smirked. This kid was gutsy.

No one talked openly about why they were in the asylum. Usually some snoopy person went and read the new comers files and shared their content with everyone else in the asylum. Now here was this stranger, openly talking about his reason for being in a mad house. It was a sight to see.

He sat down opposite me and smirked slightly. The table was silent, as everyone tried to comprehend what was going on.

"So who did you try killing?" Ikkaku ventured, testing the waters to see if the new comer was as ballsy as he came off.

He did not disappoint and said, "The man who killed my family"

Silence.

"I could have gotten away with it, if the cops hadn't showed up" he continued, absentmindedly shoveling pasta into his mouth. Again, silence. It stretched on for what seemed like forever, before I ended the silence to ask, "So what is your name?"

"Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez" he said, grinning widely with a glint in his eye.

A/N: New arrivals are always problematic... *sigh* interested to see what happens next, with THIS new arrival :) thanks again for reading it! It means a lot.