Jaime sat by himself as soon as he had been to see Tyrion. He had told him of the truth. He had told him how Cersei had been unfaithful to him and Jaime felt his whole world tumble around him. He didn't know how to respond or what to do. He'd never been in a situation like it before. He thought that Cersei would have been loyal to him but he had been wrong. Then again, he had kissed Gwen. He had kissed her awkwardly but he had felt something. Surely he had been disloyal to her.
But maybe he didn't care. He knew that Cersei was the only one he had loved. She had always been the one he had cared for and to find out that she had easily abandoned his loyalty hurt him.
He sat on his bed, his head in his hand before he looked to his stump, remembering how she had been disgusted by it. She had told him that it wasn't particularly attractive and Jaime had recoiled from her, knowing full well how ugly it was. He did not need to be reminded of that. And then he had seen what she had done to Gwen.
He had seen her hurt the maid and it caused anger to well up inside of him. Gwen didn't deserve her treatment. And then he thought about it and she didn't deserve his treatment. She didn't deserve it when he had tormented her and threatened her. She did nothing wrong. But Jaime had seen her as a liability and if she told anyone what she knew then war would be started.
He snorted at that thought, reminding himself that war had already begun and it didn't need him to add to the fuel. He had been captive through the majority of it. He took a moment to stand up and pace around his room, wondering where Gwen was. He had left her in the kitchens and told her not to be any trouble. She had asked of Brienne and he had said she was still locked away.
He intended to change that in the near future. She had a promise to Lady Stark to fullfil.
Jaime slowly left his chambers, walking down the corridors aimlessly, simply needing to get out and about as his head swam with thoughts.
"What are you doing out so late?"
He stopped as he heard the light tone and he saw her stood in front of him, a serving platter in her hands along with half eaten chicken joints. He stood still, looking at her as she smiled at him, trying to be warm and polite. Jaime took a moment to watch her, seeing the red cotton dress she wore and how it clashed with her dirty blonde hair and blue eyes.
"I was going for a walk." Jaime responded.
"At this time?" Gwen asked from him and he shrugged nonchalantly. His eyes narrowed as he noted a purple stain on her cheek, slowly becoming more prominent. She caught him looking at her and his brow arched as she pushed her hair forwards and avoided his gaze. She shrugged, holding the platter closer to her chest as she did so.
"I tripped," she whispered and Jaime sighed at hearing her, his head shaking back and forth at the blatant lie which had told. He moved closer to her, pushing her hair from her face before he felt her hot breath tickle against his arm.
"What happened?" he wondered from her and she shook her head.
"I really should get back to the kitchen," she insisted and Jaime shook his head, standing in front of her and blocking her from leaving him.
"Gwen," he spoke quietly and sternly. She inhaled sharply, taking a deep breath before she glanced back into his green eyes and he waited patiently for an explanation of what had happened to her. "Tell me."
"I can't," she replied. "I don't want any more trouble...I just want to...I want..."
"What do you want?" Jaime wondered and he glanced over her shoulder to make sure that the corridor was still empty. He knew Varys and he knew he had spies lurking everywhere in Kings Landing. And he had an idea that he could be faithful to Cersei if he wanted to be.
"I want to go," Gwen admitted. "I want to go and try to find Lady Arya and Lady Sansa. I don't want to be here as a maid with her making my life a misery all the time. I told Lady Stark...I told her that I would find her daughters and now she is gone...her and Lord Robb and I failed...I failed them..."
Jaime listened as her sobs began to come out in short pants and he took a moment to clear his head. He snatched the platter from her and moved to the nearest window, throwing it out without any regard for anyone who was down below. Gwen watched him with wide eyes as he closed the window once more.
"You're not going back to the kitchen," Jaime said. "And you aren't leaving the platter here when you know you would be blamed for not doing your job right."
"But I have to..." Gwen trailed off and Jaime wondered if she had ever done anything because she wanted to. All she seemed to do was stick to what she knew was right and had to be done. He doubted she had ever lived doing simply what she wanted.
"Come on," Jaime said. "The last thing anyone needs to see in the corridor is a snivelling wreck, Gwen."
She did nothing but follow him as he led the way through the corridors, coming to his own room and opening the door. He ushered her inside as he checked the corridor one final time, content that no one had seen him on the way back to his room with Gwen. He locked the door as she stood awkwardly in the centre of the room, looking around the well decorated space.
Jaime watched her as she glanced around, seeing how well decorated everything was in comparison to Winterfell and the dismal taste there.
"You haven't eaten your dinner," Gwen commented and Jaime coughed awkwardly, looking around. How could he admit to her that he had failed at cutting the meat? He had tried for ages but nothing seemed to work. He had given up in frustration, moving himself back to the bed and laying there and allowing his thoughts to consume him.
"It's probably cold now," he simply grunted and Gwen sat down at the table, picking up the knife and fork and slowly cutting the meat into chunks. Jaime watched her as she ate a small piece for herself, delicately chewing it and swallowing.
"It's still quite warm," she said and he sighed. He took the seat opposite her, dragging it around the small table until he came to sit next to her and she dropped the knife and fork back on the plate. Jaime took the fork, prodding the meat with it and placing it in his mouth. Even nearly cold it still tasted divine to him after months of bread rolls.
"So," Jaime said, "how did you get the bruise? And don't even think of saying that you tripped."
His warning caused her lips to quirk slightly as she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, still crying over the loss of the Starks which she had mentioned before. She inhaled quickly and closed her eyes for a moment.
"I was serving wine to a member of the court. Your sister and the King were there and she saw me spill some over a woman's dress accidentally after I tripped over a leg of the table. The woman stood up and yelled at me for my useless. I tried to apologise but she wasn't having any of it. The Queen Regent deemed it necessary to teach me a lesson. A member of the Kingsguard did it for her."
Jaime stopped placing meat onto his fork, chewing the piece already in his mouth as he turned to look back at Gwen. He moved slowly, his hand reaching for her cheek as he ran his fingers over the bruise.
"Who was the one to hit you?" he wondered, fully intent on seeing that it never happened again.
"I do not know," Gwen admitted. "I did not hear his name being called. I only saw him as he hit me in the middle of the hall and then told me to leave."
"Perhaps you should not have been so clumsy," Jaime suggested and Gwen glared at him, moving her hand to slap him across the arm at his comment. He looked back to his food, his fork stabbing the meat once more as Gwen shook her head.
"I cannot help tripping! It was an accident," she replied to him and Jaime remained mute for a few more moments before he began to chew on his meat once more.
"And how many more accidents are there going to be?" Jaime asked her and she shrugged her shoulders.
"Quite a few, I suppose," she whispered for a few moments and Jaime sighed, dropping his fork onto his plate as he shook his head back and forth.
"Gwen, you know how hard it was for me to secure your release," Jaime informed her and she leant back in her chair like a sulking child. "What would you have me do? I can't let you go and find Sansa and Arya."
"Why not?" Gwen whispered to him, slightly hurt as she looked down to her skirts and Jaime drank some of his wine.
"Because it is dangerous out there, Gwen," Jaime said simply. "You know that as well as I do. I cannot protect you all the time. I cannot go with you to find them. How long do you think you would last?"
"I could go with Brienne," Gwen said.
"Tyrell is adamant she remains a captive here. I'm going to try and talk to the boy when the Kingsguard meet. Brienne needs to fullfil her promise to Lady Catelyn."
"Then I can go with her," Gwen spoke quickly and Jaime looked at her. Naive little Gwen. Why did she test his patience so much?
"You admitted to me that night when we were sat by the tree how you knew you weren't cut out for the journey. You told me, Gwen, yet you insist on risking your life for two girls who are probably dead by now."
"Don't say that," Gwen growled at him. "Don't talk like that."
"You know it is probably true, Gwen," Jaime urged her to see sense. "Sansa is accused of killing the King and no one has seen Arya in months. They are both lost."
"Then I will find them," Gwen protested to him.
"I arranged for you to be a hostage here, Gwen. I arranged for you to be safe," Jaime replied. "I did that for you and now you want to go and throw it back in my face and run away to get yourself killed?"
"No," Gwen replied. "But I made a promise to Lady Stark...I have to help them..."
"Lady Stark is dead."
"That does not mean that my word is dead," Gwen replied and Jaime shook his head, standing up and walking around the room. Gwen turned in her chair, her hands wrapping around the wood at the back of it. She watched him and he shook his head as she whispered to him, her voice calm and soft;
"I am grateful for all that you have done, Jaime," she whispered and Jaime looked into the fire of the hearth. "But if I stay here...as long as your sister is here...what chance do I have? She hates me and she will do anything to hurt me."
"So this isn't about the girls?" Jaime wondered and Gwen shook her head. "It is about my sister humiliating you?"
"It is about the girls," Gwen assured him. "I do this for them because they have nothing left now, Jaime. Their parents are dead...Robb is dead...the Gods only know about Bran and Rickon...but I cannot stay here. I cannot stay here and be subject to your sister and her cruel ways whilst they are alone. Surely you see that." Gwen urged him, trying to make him understand. He turned to look at her whilst she remained sat where she was. He said nothing for a few moments before speaking;
"You really do want to go, don't you?"
Gwen said nothing for a while and Jaime continued to study her.
"I have to go and I want to find them. You know how much I care for them."
"My sister will have a valid reason to suspect you of treason if she finds out you have vanished. She will have valid reason to think you are a Stark supporter even though they have fallen."
"Then tell her that. I doubt she will send an entire army out looking for me now that she knows that I am hardly a threat. I know she will want me found if she knows I am searching for Lady Sansa but I know she wants me dead here regardless of anything that happens," Gwen informed him and Jaime shook his head, sinking to his bed whilst Gwen stood up, slowly moving over to him and standing a few feet away.
"I spoke to Tyrion," Jaime changed the subject and Gwen said nothing as he watched her with interest. "He told me what Cersei did."
Gwen didn't know what to say to him and she wondered why he was changing the direction of conversation.
"She was disloyal to me. I haven't seen her since earlier. I don't know if I can face her...knowing what she has done...everything that has happened..." Jaime said and Gwen looked away for a moment, kneeling on the floor by the bed as he leant forwards. "It doesn't hurt me. It angers me because I thought she was loyal but it doesn't hurt like I thought it would. And then I was thinking that maybe it doesn't hurt because she doesn't hold my heart anymore. Maybe she's changed..."
"Maybe you've changed," Gwen whispered to him and he looked at her. She shrugged at him and inched closer to him on her knees. "When I first met you, you were arrogant and hateful. You were insufferable. All the while why you were prisoner you were pompous and unbearable. And then on the journey...you told me everything...you changed and you became nice...still arrogant but kinder. Maybe not to Brienne but I felt a change, Jaime. Something happened and I couldn't help but care about what happened to you."
He took in all of what he had heard her say and he ran his hand down her head, flattening her hair on top of her head as he did so. He smiled softly as he made the motion, wondering if she was telling the truth. He didn't know that he had changed. He had assumed that he hadn't.
Perhaps the loss of his hand had affected him more than he cared to admit.
"You're a lovely girl, Gwen," Jaime honestly told her. "And after everything that has happened I know that you are still suffering. But going...leaving...I cannot protect you."
"No," Gwen said. "But you know that you cannot protect me here. You are a member of the Kingsguard. You honour the King and your sister, the Queen Regent."
"You know that if you leave here then I won't see you again," Jaime said and Gwen rested her hand over his which was on the side of her face.
"I know," Gwen said. "But being here...we cannot be together anyway and you know that. Besides, you wouldn't want to be with me. I'm a hostage and you're a Lannister."
"How many times do I have to tell you that you don't know what I think?" Jaime said. "Even I don't know what I think at the moment."
She kept quiet then, not wanting to tell him how he felt. She had no idea what ran through Jaime's head. She had no idea what he was thinking or what he wanted. She supposed he needed time to come to terms with his sister's betrayal. And Gwen couldn't push him into feeling the same as she did.
"I should be going," Gwen said and she stood up. "I shouldn't really be here."
"Perhaps not," Jaime agreed. "And you are sure that this is what you want, Gwen? You want to go back out into the open with only the wench for protection?"
"Yes," Gwen said and Jaime took a moment to think. Jaime stood up and moved to the door, unlocking it slowly whilst thinking about what he should do.
"Gwen," Jaime whispered her name. "I shall see to it that Brienne is freed. You need to stay low until that day...until I manage to do something. Try not to get into trouble."
"I can't make any promises," Gwen mumbled in annoyance. Jaime watched as she stood opposite him at the door and he intently watched her for a few moments.
"Try," Jaime urged her with a smug smirk. She rolled her eyes and he chuckled before running his hand down her neck and kissing her on her bruise out of impulse. He didn't know why he had done it. He didn't know why he did half of the things he did when it came to her.
"Goodnight, Gwen," Jaime said and he held the door open.
"Goodnight," she replied and moved out from his room, quickly heading back to her own in the hope that no one saw her.
...
"I had to harm your pretty little maid last night."
Jaime winced as he heard Cersei move closer to him. He stood over the throne room, keeping watch on the balcony. Cersei did nothing as she stood beside him and looked down onto the Iron Throne whilst Jaime leant forwards, his hand wrapped around the ledge of the balcony.
"I heard how she spilt wine on a lady," Jaime spoke, his eyes never once looking at Cersei. "It was unnecessary, wasn't it, Cersei? To have her humiliatingly beat in front of the court."
"I considered it necessary."
"I considered it cruel." Jaime retaliated and he finally looked at her. "But you seem to know all about being cruel."
Cersei kept quiet as Jaime watched her, intrigue playing on her features and she wondered what he was talking about.
"Do you care to explain, dear brother?" Cersei wondered.
"I spoke to our little brother," Jaime said. "He told me all about your little trysts, Cersei."
"And you believe the little imp?" Cersei snapped, unable to believe what she was hearing. She would see to it that he suffered in the trial by combat. Who did he think he was? Did he think that Jaime could protect him? "You know that he killed our son?"
"Your son," Jaime responded. "I take responsibility for his birth but he was nothing if not cruel. And I am not entirely convinced that our brother killed him. He is not stupid enough to be caught."
"Well he was," Cersei replied. "And you believe him?"
"Why do you think he would lie?" Jaime asked.
"Because he is poison." Cersei hissed. "And do not tell me how you have been faithful to me. I've seen you and the girl. I've seen how you act around her. Do not tell me that she has not warmed your bed at night."
"She hasn't," Jaime informed Cersei. "Do you honestly believe that she could after everything that has happened to her? She was raped, Cersei and the last thing she needs is to be warming a man's bed. And I was loyal to you. Not once did I lay with Gwen."
"And you insist in calling her Gwen," Cersei hissed. "Not once did you say that you had no desire to lie with her. Do you? Do you love her more than you love me?"
"No," he admitted truthfully to her. "But that doesn't mean that I don't care. I still love you, Cersei. You are my sister and I have to love you...but at the moment...at the moment I cannot stand the sight of you."
"And what about her?" Cersei wondered. "You can stand the sight of her, can't you? I heard how she left your room last night."
He said nothing, knowing that he would never get away with lying to her. There would be no point.
"I saw she had been hurt in passing. I invited her in to make sure she was fine. You'd abused her, Cersei."
"I had punished her for being incompetent," Cersei defended her actions. "Look what she is doing to us, Jaime. She is pushing us apart. She is ruining us."
"I think you've managed to do that on your own," Jaime informed her with a low hiss. "I need to go. The Kingsguard have a meeting soon."
"And that is it?" Cersei wondered from him. "You have nothing more to say to me?"
"No," Jaime said as he turned around to walk away from her, truly unable to say anything else. She stared after him as he went, wondering how she could make things right once more.
...
Jaime stood outside of Tyrion's cell, informing his little brother of the plan which he was intending on concocting. The day had been long and tiring, with Tyrion's trial by battle failing. Jaime was still unconvinced of his brother's crimes. He didn't intend to let him die for something which he may not have done.
"And did you speak to Cersei of my claims?" Tyrion wondered as soon as Jaime stood before him. The Lord Commander nodded to confirm and leant against the metal opposite his brother's cage.
"I did," Jaime said. "It didn't go too well."
"Really?" Tyrion wondered, sarcasm in his voice. "I did believe that everything would go swimmingly and you would both continue your romance."
"As always, brother, you never fail to entertain me," Jaime said, folding his arms and Tyrion chuckled, walking around his cell.
"And what did our beloved sister have to say?" Tyrion wondered. "Does she still claim her innocence?"
"No. She admitted it," Jaime said. "And then she managed to drag Gwen into it."
"Ah, so she knows you have been sleeping with the maid."
"I have not been-"
"-I know," Tyrion interrupted. "I just like to get a rise out of you. You're too loyal to Cersei to have done anything. You will now though, won't you?"
"What are you talking about?" Jaime wondered, stifling a yawn.
"Well, your loyalty for Cersei clouded your ever growing fondness for Gwen," Tyrion said. "And now that Cersei has broken your heart you're coming to realise that perhaps Gwen is the one to mend it. If not she is the one who already has it. Touching, really, I've never seen or heard anything like it. Although romance is wasted on me."
Jaime chuckled at the last part as Tyrion watched his brother, waiting for any trace of emotion to cross his lips.
"Of course," he whispered, "if Cersei blames Gwen for your lack of love then you know it can only mean one thing."
"And what is that?"
"She'll find a way to have her revenge over your maid," Tyrion said. "She's not who she was. She was always cruel but recently she's turned vindictive. She is the real power behind poor Tommen. The power has gone to her head."
"She won't hurt Gwen," Jaime said confidently. "She is a hostage. Father knows that as well as I."
"And when has anything ever stopped Cersei?" Tyrion asked Jaime. "You need to get her out of the city. Anywhere is safer away from Cersei's ever watching eye."
Jaime watched Tyrion for a moment as the imp arched a brow whilst continuing to look at his brother.
"If you care for the girl then you will let her go instead of keeping her close," Tyrion said.
"And if I let her go then what happens to her? I have seen her out in the open. She couldn't make it one day even with the protection of Brienne."
"Is that the great beast of a woman?" Tyrion wondered. "The guards are rather conversational sometimes. They told me she killed Renly."
"No...it was all a mistake," Jaime said nonchalantly. "She's training with some of the Kingsguard before she leaves to go and find Sansa and Arya."
"Then send your maid with her," Tyrion said, extended his arm to emphasise his point. "Unless you can't let her go. Have you grown so attached to her?"
"Of course not," Jaime said instantly, not sure if he believed his words or not. Tyrion sceptically regarded him before shrugging his shoulders.
"It is your decision, dear brother," he spoke. "I am just offering you brotherly advice before our sister decides to extract her revenge."
Jaime nodded, contemplating Tyrion's words before he decided to move, slowly walking away from his brother and intending to do something about the mess which everyone seemed to be in.
"Thank you for visiting. Although a good brother would have brought some wine and girls," Tyrion said and Jaime tossed his head over his shoulder to look back to the dwarf.
"I'll be back tomorrow," he said. "Although I cannot promise company and wine."
"Oh, your boring ways shall most definitely be enough to kill me."
...
A/N: So I know I haven't updated in a couple of days but uni is incredibly hectic and we're mainly just enjoying the sun for once! However, I hope to update soon again so please do let me know what you think in the meantime!