Chapter Three – These Scars
"College was rather uneventful…at least until I decided to stay for advanced classes with a personal tutor." Spoke Constance, who soon found herself catapulted back into a variety of memories which had been securely repressed and never supposed to be revealed
Constance waved goodbye to the small group of friends that she made while at college, they left the college for various reasons but mostly because they had the basic standard grades and had chosen to leave however Constance had debated her career prospects but eventually decided that staying at college in order to gain advanced grades would be beneficial and help her to determine a field of speciality when applying for employment.
She was all alone at college but now as a senior often found in the library with an impressive selection of books at her fingertips, the authors of these books where her constant companions now.
There had been an error with her timetable which meant Constance had a few days with no scheduled subjects or classes although she made use to her free time and was yet again in the library, as she hurriedly scribbled down her notes for potential projects or inspiration for further research personal ideas, a gentle cough interrupted the flow of her work.
"Your tutor will arrive tomorrow…that I'm led to believe…the rumours…she will expect only the very best, use your free time wisely and productively…remember to be confident!" whispered the voice of the mousy teacher, she glanced over her shoulder and without further explanation, scurried away, leaving Constance confused
Her room was small as were all student accommodations at the college, she yawned tiredly and eagerly settled herself into bed. As she drifted between sleep and the waking world when her eyes suddenly opened, her mind had conjured up the peculiar warning from one of the teachers from the library. The identity of her personal tutor for her advanced lessons remained a mystery and no-one seemed willing to even tell the young student the name of her tutor, she frowned and remembered their reactions perhaps they knew something that she did not.
Constance closed her eyes and was soon asleep however in the abyss blackness of her room, something lurked in the corner and watched. Morgana, her faithful pet cat sat on the small desk and watched as her owner slept. The cat had a nocturnal nature and now that Constance was asleep, wanted to play but instead chose to remain vigilant of her young owner.
Miss Constance Hardbroom was a talented and gifted young witch for her age, her folder in the administration office was thin in comparison to her fellow students, this prompted more questions about the skilled witch who had made a name for herself while in class and as a stickler for details and documentation, this did not bode well.
"You sound envious of your friends." Stated Zelda
Constance shrugged, "They left…like everyone else, they leave," she sighed, "But I was determined to better myself…to be the best, to make…my father…to make my parents proud." she stammered
Zelda cocked an eyebrow and closely observed Constance as she fell silent, the young counsellor could sense that something was not right and she absentmindedly glanced at the time, the potion would still be coursing through her system but Zelda felt that Constance was still able to resist, partly.
"Constance…did something happen at college during your advanced classes?"
"I regret not paying attention…the crypt warning regarding my tutor." She replied, her voice filled with sadness
Constance was trapped and there was no-one that she could trust nor turn to for help. Since, word had spread throughout the college the name of her personal tutor, fellow students and teachers began to act strangely, there were hushed conversations and awkward nudging whenever she entered the library or walked alone down the corridor.
Her personal tutor was very strict and demanding but now she found herself alienated as if guilty by association. Constance had always been ahead of the curve and the level of work was often praised or rewarded however her hard work and dedication had not been noticed but instead very often harshly criticized for even the most miniscule of mistakes. Soon, Constance pushed herself harder in order to win over her tutor or at least have a positive comment regarding her work, something but all her sacrifices were in vain, as she regularly began to skip meals and did not attempt to make new friends.
Soon, her personal tutor did eventually notice the self-sacrifices that Constance was only too willing to do in order to achieve a single praise or any form of recognition that she strived for but the darkness and evil would be unleased and this would permanent stain her soul and leave a disgusting scar upon her body.
A series of unfortunate events would arise and the outcome would topple like unsteady dominoes and nothing could ease the colossal momentum and Constance was completely unaware, her ignorance had protected her but that time was about it end.
"I had heard rumours that it was not uncommon for lonely witches and wizards to seek out company of their own," Constance paused and glanced nervously at Zelda, "Well, she come to me…it was painfully awkward, for both of us."
Constance felt her face redden with embarrassment and awkwardness, she had felt honoured that she had been asked but she was too involved in her studies and had not given a thought about pursuing a relation or companionship with either male or female however Constance was relentless chased, she was always there lurking in the shadows and stalking her as if to serve as a reminder to Constance.
"Please," protested Constance, "This has all been a grave misunderstanding…I'm flattered that you would ask me…but I'm not that way inclined…I can only apologies if you thought otherwise…" her voice trailed off as she was hastily dismissed with the brief gesture of her tutor's hand
The polite rejection was still a rejection nonetheless and this would inadvertently seal Constance' fate.
The change in her tutor's demeanour and personality was instantaneous and Constance was the target for her anger and silent heartbreak. The standards of work required for a pass was almost unachievable and her tutor demanded perfection in everything. Very often, Constance was forced to further sacrifice her sleep in order to practice potions and spells, her every waking moment was a battle to maintain her fragile emotions and continue to project an air of confidence, never permitted to show an ounce of weakness.
The combination of stress, exhaustion and depression began to take its long toll on Constance' mental health and physical wellbeing however, her salvation arrived in an old, dust spell book which instantly became her lifeline although, she loathed to turn to a potion to aid her, the opportunity was too valuable to refuse and while she tutor was in York, attending an unmissable conference, it was as if fate had taken pity on the struggling witch.
Constance brewed two potions that day, a healing potion as her tutor favoured physical punishment for anything other than perfection and wide awake potion that temporary gave her the energy to function and keep up with the demanding workload.
"She was relentless in her pursuit and the obsessive need for perfection…everything had to be in its rightful place."
Zelda quickly scribed a note, questioning an obsessive- compulsive disorder
Constance continued, "She changed when I refused her continuous advances but nothing would deter her from attempting to change my decision on the matter…there was no escape…I thought that death was the only way out."
"You considered suicide?" echoed Zelda
Constance silently nodded, deeply ashamed of her darkest moment of her past, "She said I was weak…perhaps that was the only reason I could not go through with it."
Zelda reached out and grasped her hand, "From what I've just learnt….you are anything but weak."
It was less than a day before graduation and that meant only hours separated Constance from her well-deserved freedom from college and her personal tutor and for the first time in years, sleep came easily for her without the need for a potion.
But, something far worse than a nightmare lurked in the abyss of her room.
Constance swatted her faithful pet, Morgana as the nuisance animal tickled her, adamant for attention. She sighed tiredly as the persistent pet starved for attention continued to nuzzle into the back of her neck.
"Morgana," she grumbled, "I'm trying to sleep…the graduation is tomorrow and I'd appreciate some rest." She complained
Her pet was persistent and Constance decided the only way she would get any undisturbed sleep would be to put the cat out of her room, something that was not uncommon in the college however as she attempted to move, Constance found that her body refused to comply and no sound dared to escape as a powerful silencing and body bind spell prevented the latter.
She lay on her single bed, completely powerless and cringed when she felt the unmistakable prescience of her tutor, "I want to treasure this moment." She whispered into her ear
Constance lay defenceless, a single tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. She was paralyzed but felt her mouth watering and felt her stomach somersault with nausea. Constance felt positively sick at the thought of her personal space being invaded, sick that she was at the mercy of an emotionally unstable witch and sick that there was nothing she could do even if Constance did find the courage to report her tutor then who would even believe her?
"Just remember Constance, that wherever you go, wherever you hide…I will find you."
Zelda scribbled short hand notes onto her notepad then noticed that Constance had closed her eyes, breathing deeply to retain her composure, there was no doubt that this was emotionally draining for the older witch.
Another wave of pain struck and caused Constance to clutch her abdomen, the concoction of the truth and wide awake potions, indicated to Zelda that there was still the luxury of time to further explore her past memories and felt that they were just beginning to graze the surface but Constance was a complicated patient which reminded the counsellor of her previous patient who was somewhat familiar, the similarities between the two women were striking and caused Zelda to raise a few questions of her own, she would have to make further investigations on her own time.
"What of this witch? Have you encountered her since departing from college?" Asked Zelda
Constance opened her eyes and sadly nodded, "On both occasions, her visits brought back painful memories….however, I think that it was intended."
"How so?" she pushed further
"She is the only thing that I truly fear. I fear nothing more than that infernal woman!" replied Constance, confidence filled her admission, and Amelia Cackle had had a similar thought when she noticed the suddenly strange behaviour of her faithful deputy during the academy's inspection
"Is that the only thing you fear?"
She snorted, "Despite what my students and colleagues may say…I am human after all. I experience fear just like anyone else…I merely handle myself and the situation better than some."
Zelda forced a smile, "That isn't what I asked besides your former personal tutor, what do your fear? Mine for example is close spaces…I fear that I cannot help everyone that comes into this office."
"I fear…" as she resisted the potion, carefully selected her words, "I fear…my knowledge will not be appreciated or passed onto my students….they think of me as a tyrant…when I know there are far worse people out there than myself."
"Hmm! Interesting." Muttered Zelda
Soon, Constance started to falter and the strength of the potion returned, "I fear…the thought of being out of control…not being able to control my power…my emotions…I need…I have to be this way."
Zelda was caught off guard and desperately wanted to dive deeper into the rabbit hole, "What do you mean? Tell me Constance, what happened to you that shaped you in such a way that you are afraid of showing your emotions?"
"Him…him….I was engaged, once." She started