Chapter Four – Past Happiness
"I was engaged...once," started Constance
Zelda glanced fleetingly at the older witch's left hand which was devoid of jewellery, "I'm assuming that the relationship didn't work out?" she asked
Constance shook her head while absentmindedly avoiding the gaze of the younger witch and concentrated on her clasped hands, "I left college with a perfect record and was in search of employment…"
Her new found freedom from the former tyrant's oppression was difficult at first, for so long Constance had mindlessly followed unbreakable order from her personal tutor however she had survived and now the world was her oyster, Constance had the power and reputation from college which provided ample career opportunities in various specialities.
A long standing conference had been reserved in her diary unfortunately Constance found herself running late which would normally had been rewarded with a severe and inhuman punishment courtesy of her personal tutor.
Eventually, she arrived at the venue and located a single chair at the back of already packed hall. Constance took the unreserved seat, just moments before the guest speaker was introduced to the podium and already dozens of her fellow attendees were hurriedly scribbling down notes however Constance, much envied by her former friends from college, possessed eidetic memory.
"Would you like some paper…you know, to take notes?" whispered a voice
Momentarily, Constance flinched as the stranger was dangerously close to invading her personal space and she resisted the urge to maintain a healthy distance.
"Perhaps, you're recording this speech…if so then I'd appreciate a copy."
Constance remained focused on the guest speaker, "I have no need to record this." She harshly replied out of the corner of her mouth then smiled when the person in front of her turned around in their chair and glared
"Would you kindly mind passing on your secret or perils of wisdom?"
She politely refused to continue the conversation and fell into silence as they listened to the guest speaker before breaking for lunch. As the attendees took the opportunity to mingle with others, Constance stood beside the speaker, deep in conversation as both passionately discussed various ideas and opinions, each talking and gesturing with dramatically with their hands.
"Well, hello….again." he said and added a toothy grin
"Oh…hello," Replied Constance rather coolly, "Have fun penning your memoirs?" implying the amount of writing and painful writer's cramp from dripping the pen
"Hmm! Very witty," he replied, "Did you enjoy the talk?"
"I found it interesting…some controversial subjects covered…but overall educational." Answered Constance, aware that the guest speaker was still within hearing distance, "And yourself?"
"I, too found it…interesting," he struggled
"Just interesting…judging by your notes, I find that hard to believe."
He took a step closer towards her, lingering on the boundary of her personal space, he leaned forward and smiled bashfully, "The talk was interesting….but the most memorable part of the day so far was right at the beginning…when you sat down beside me."
He smiled and winked at Constance before disappearing into the swarming crowd, she felt herself stare at him and felt the familiar heat of embarrassment christen her normally pale features.
Zelda smiled warmly at the thought and secretly wished something vaguely romantic would happen in her own life, "Ah! Love."
"I was young…" protested Constance, "And Foolish!"
"Love knows no boundaries, regardless of age, sexual orientation or ethnicity! Were you happy?"
A sad smile forced her lips curl, "For a brief moment, yes…"
Zelda felt her heart sink deep in the confines of her chest and felt deflated, fate seemed determined to make the older witch suffer, the idea of happiness or peace was destroyed.
"What happened to the relationship?"
Constance and Edward were inseparable for the past eighteen months and had only recently announced to the small circle of friends and colleagues that they were an official couple, exclusively. The beginning of their relationship had been fragile but slowly with time and patience, Constance gradually opened up like a shy flower, she placed her trust and dared to bare her heart and soul to another, something had petrified her.
"Edward…what are you doing?"
They sat at the table, casually eating dinner over a lone candle and discussing the various high and low points of their day when Edward clumsily elbowed his spoon off the table and had bent down to retrieve the piece of cutlery but then chose to remain on the naked floorboards which creaked under his weight. Edward reached for her hands.
"Please Constance…I love you, so much…" he paused and stared watery eyed up at her, "We have such a connection…do me the honour and marry me!"
Constance felt a sudden wave of nausea and her face reddened fiercely with embarrassment, they had never discussed marriage or any other future plans, it was a bold and spontaneous question that frightened her, they should have discussed their future logically and organise. Edward waited patiently for a reply, unable to read her expression.
"Yes!" she finally answered and pulled him close, her arms wrapped possessively around his neck, "Yes."
"I believe this," he pulled out of her tight embrace and place the engagement ring onto her trembling hand, she admired the new piece of jewellery, "belongs here." Edward whispered and pulled her hand to rest on his chest, to feel his heart
"It's prefect."
However, the separate work demands and careers dictated their lives and it became normal that they were on opposites of the country for days on end or very often worked long hours and when home were too exhausted to maintain civil conversation. After time, they both became strangers, growing tension and animosity between their competing careers dominated their relationship.
"Constance…you suggested about going away, let's go away this weekend!"
She was utterly immersed in her work, "Too busy!" she grumbled
Edward felt his jaw and fists clench with frustration, it had been Constance that had pestered him about taking a short break from research projects, urgent last minute meetings, caffeine fuelled energy that allowed them to function, "I've sacrificed time and energy for us…Constance, it's only fair that you meet me half way here!"
She blinked and surfaced from the book, "What did you have planned?"
Their long weekend break from the monotony of their demanding lifestyles had been welcomed and rekindled the dwelling relationship between them. Edward seemed distracted as Constance started to collect ideas regarding their wedding, it was peculiar that Edward had proposed and yet remained vague and noncommittal to any and all suggestions, she wanted him to have an equal say and decision about their wedding but the unescapable demand of his work continued to take priority and Constance was forced to take a backseat.
Constance looked at her wristwatch and walked aimlessly for hours, she felt alone yet she was surrounded by a swarm of people, who frantically continued to go about their own business.
Edward would still be at work, he always pushed himself and with deadlines for various projects, he had longer into the small hours of the following day and relying on three to four hours' worth of restless sleep. Constance decided that she would make an effort and cook a romantic dinner for them as a surprise for when he returned home from work.
She entered the house, instantly she sensed another prescience and crept silently into the narrow hallway, her casting fingers prepared to defend herself against the unknown intruder.
Constance frowned at the sound of a cheerful giggle and hushed whisperings that sounded from behind a closed door. She slowly reached for the door handle and inched the door, her casting hand trembled.
"Edward…" called Constance as the door opened wide to reveal their bedroom, the hinges sounded loudly to announce her presence
While Edward scrambled to maintain his dignity and get to his feet, Constance slowly turned her back on him, her eyes and mouth wide in disbelieve. It was not until the slam of the door practically shook their small house that the reality of what she had witnessed was true.
"Constance…it's not what it looked like…" Edward stuttered to explain himself
She threw up her hand to interrupt the obvious lie, "Oh don't! Do not do that! Lie so blatantly to me…I know what I saw!" she spat, her trembling hands hid the humiliation
"But, Constance…she meant nothing to me, it's you that I love…you must believe me!"
Edward reached out to console her, "How could you…and in our bed…"
"But, you don't understand…"
"Understand! Understand, what? No! Do not even touch me…don't touch me, god only knows where your hands have been."
Something in Edward snapped, "Touch you? Here, we go again! Maybe, if you let me touch you then we wouldn't be in this predicament!"
Constance gasped, visibly hurt by his comment regarding the physical aspect of their relationship, "Oh! So this is all my fault?"
Edward shook his head and tightened the bedsheets around his waist, "Yes….No! I don't know," he sighed angrily, "I'm just saying that maybe…if it wasn't me that always initiated…" he saw her visibly cringe, "Yes, Constance…sex. Sex! Always in the darkness, always missionary…and always cold."
Her fingers massaged her throbbing temples, "I…I…cannot believe I am hearing this!"
Edward closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, "No! I didn't mean it…like that...I meant…"
"I know that we've been consumed with work…all those long hours…I just didn't think that you were so unhappy…with me."
He seized her into his arms, "But I am happy with you…I just…need…she was able to give…"
"I don't want to hear the gory details of your unfaithfulness…I saw for myself, what she was able to give you…" Constance cried and fought against his arms
"Stop!" he begged attempting to defend against her slaps and punches
"You disgust me!" she spat when a sudden wave of nausea caused her to stop abruptly
Edward pushed her away and threw his hands up in frustration, "You never did understand me…"
Constance felt her eye twitch, a red mist decent upon her. The barrier of control that had been carefully constructed cracked and all mental discipline dissolved, her fists clenched and pounded against his back until he turned around and she continued to hammer her temper against his skin, "You monster!" she screamed
His skin reddened from the rain of punches, Edward grabbed her wrists viciously but this did not stop the verbal onslaught until she was drained and her knees buckled from under her and she sank onto the floor.
Suddenly, she clutched at her abdomen, "I feel sick!" she complained as she felt something warm trickle down her thigh
"Oh god! What's wrong? What do I do? Constance….is that blood?"
Constance felt her heavy eyes close which temporary stopped the tears, everything had been destroyed and lay in ruins, she had originally planned to prepare a romantic meal and then present Edward with a gift which was a silver pocket watch that had been engraved a surprise that she had been unable to confess to him.
'To Edward, love C plus 1'
Zelda gasped loudly, Constance closed her eyes again, determined to retain control of her emotions.
"I can understand why you are careful…" said Zelda
"I've never told anyone that…" replied Constance