~~0~~
01
It hadn't been easy.
Chell and Wheatley had spent a good long while sabotaging GLaDOS' turret production line and her neurotoxin generator. They were forced to ride through the tubes to reach her chamber and Wheatley had been pulled into an opposite direction. Chell's concern was that this had been too easy. GLaDOS would surely know that something was wrong and it would all be over, despite Wheatley's assurances that she wouldn't.
It won't be enough...
The Oracle Turret's monotonous words of warning repeated itself in Chell's mind. She had freed the turret from the redemption line and it spoke a few peculiar strings of sentences that seemed to make little sense to the human woman. She didn't give it much credence given the fact that there was more on her mind than the seemingly inane ramblings of a defective turret. But a lingering doubt whispered in the back of her mind that told her something wasn't right about this.
When she arrived at GLaDOS chamber through a glass box, the entire room had been repaired and the humanoid AI was standing there waiting for her with an eerie smile on her pale, synthetic face. It just seemed so wrong to Chell to witness the AI that had once been an enormous chassis now resemble a human and still look so less than one.
"If I'd known you'd let yourself get captured this easily, I would have just dangled a turkey leg on a rope from the ceiling," GLaDOS murmured, with a mocking chuckle escaping her speakers. "That's all right. It's time for us to get down to business anyway."
Chell tensed behind the glass, ready to fight. GLaDOS didn't seem so intimidated now.
"Oh. You should have brought something a little more than a Portal Gun," she told the human. "But if not, then I suppose today's going to be the first day of the last day of your life." She laughed somewhat before her yellow eyes narrowed. "Seriously though, time to die."
A claw descended from the ceiling, placing Defective Turrets all around the glass box. Chell smiled triumphantly and looked up at GLaDOS. The AI was vastly expressive now that she had a face, and she frowned at Chell's smile. Glancing down, she watched as each one of her turrets exploded and went up in flames. She looked mildly surprised and simply regarded Chell with a look of contempt, knowing exactly why this had happened.
"Oh, you were playing around with things you shouldn't have," she growled, her voice losing some of its calm. "Well, I have another little surprise. I'm going to reunite you with you long-lost friend: deadly neurotoxin." A tube emerged from the ceiling and connected itself to Chell's glass containment. "Perhaps the only thing you should be doing right now is taking a good, long, deep breath and counting to one-thousand."
But the neurotoxin hadn't come. GLaDOS glanced up impatiently as something loud and clunky made its way through the tube. A scowl touched her features as she watched Wheatley bounce his way through what should have been filled with deadly neurotoxin and crash into Chell's glass containment with a stupid "hello" from his speakers. Chell also looked surprised and looked at GLaDOS, who had all but lost patience at this point.
"I hate you so much." she snapped.
Chell picked up the sphere and rushed out of GLaDOS' reach toward the corner of the room where her wires couldn't stretch far enough. GLaDOS stared at her with contempt and hatred until the announcer's calm voice filled the air. "Warning: the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System is eighty percent corrupt."
GLaDOS' anger melted away into mild confusion. "What?"
Chell and Wheatley too looked at each other with slight confusion.
"I'm not the one who's corrupt, you idiot!" GLaDOS spat at the announcer.
"Manual core replacement required. Alternate core detected."
"WHAT?" GLaDOS growled. She looked toward Chell and Wheatley and they both looked completely triumphant by this. Of course. This was all their fault.
"Oh! That's ME they're talking about!" Wheatley exclaimed, sparking somewhat in delight.
"To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in receptacle."
GLaDOS seemed to realize what they were planning because her features relaxed momentarily with surprise. "Core transfer?" she said. She gave Chell a murderous glare. "You're kidding me..."
"I've got an idea! Do what it says, plug me in!" Wheatley insisted to Chell, watching as the core receptacle station lifted up from the floor. It was out of GLaDOS' reach, fortunately, but Chell would have to move quickly in case the AI came up with a way to remedy that. "Hurry up!"
GLaDOS stood at the center of her chamber, watching as Chell approached the core transfer receptacle. Though her voice was calm, there was the faintest tremble of fear there, one that Chell had heard before during their first confrontation when she was about to "die".
"Don't you DARE plug that little idiot into MY mainframe!" she hissed. "You have NO idea what it will do!"
Chell glanced down at Wheatley and he laughed. "No, you should plug that little idiot into the mainframe!"
There was a whispering, fleeting voice warning Chell of this action and she felt ashamed for it, but nonetheless, knew that it couldn't have been worse having this sphere in charge than GLaDOS. So she placed Wheatley in the receptacle. That same cheerful voice of the Aperture announcer filled the air once more.
"Substitute core accepted. Substitute core, are you ready to start the procedure?"
"YES!" Wheatley declared.
"Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, are you ready to start the procedure?"
"NO!" GLaDOS cried. "No, I am NOT ready!"
"Ohhhhhh, yes she is." Wheatley shot back.
Chell started to make her move, but the announcer interrupted her again. "Stalemate detected. Transfer procedure cannot continue unless a stalemate associate is present to press the stalemate resolution button."
GLaDOS' eyes darted from the stalemate button in another chamber and back to Chell. Chell stared at her as well before quickly placing two portals, making her way over to the button.
"You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. Besides being overweight, brain damaged and cruel, you're under-qualified to push that button!" GLaDOS called over to her, voice becoming more and more desperate. "DO NOT PRESS THAT BUTTON!"
Chell's hand hovered over the bright red button in the middle of the room and felt herself hesitating again. Something didn't feel right, that same feeling once again from before. Why was she hesitating? She had her enemy by the throat and was ready to put an end to her.
It won't be enough...
"Don't listen to her!" Wheatley yelled, over Chell's doubts. "Yes, it is definitely true that you're unqualified, but guess what? You have FINGERS! Now use those squishy digits of yours to press that button so she won't kill us all!"
GLaDOS glowered across the room at Chell. "You are as brain damaged and pathetic as I thought! Taking the express advice from this little idiot!" she spat, her yellow eyes frantic, "Science has now validated your birth parents decision to abandon you! Because you weren't fit enough to - "
Okay, that was enough insults for her.
Chell slammed her fist down on the button with a furious grimace.
An electrical current surged through GLaDOS' body from the ceiling and she gave a shriek of pain, collapsing to the floor in a heap. The announcer declared the stalemate resolved and Chell approached the scene, staring down at the false human construct lying there on the floor, softly moaning. There was a fleeting stab of something in her chest, but she ignored it and turned to Wheatley. He seemed as triumphant as ever.
"Here I go!" he cried. Then, his tiny optic pupil narrowed. "Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that."
GLaDOS made a sound similar to a human coughing and she grinned weakly up at them, but her eyes were filled with fear. Not even SHE knew what was going to happen, Chell rationalized. Her features were unsympathetic, but something lingered in her mind.
No! Seeing GLaDOS like this wasn't supposed to give her even the faintest bit of pity for her.
"Oh, it will..." GLaDOS whispered, smirking at the terrified Wheatley, "Believe me, it will."
"Are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt? You're just saying that aren't you?" Wheatley stammered, as the receptacle descended into the floor, "No, you're not just saying that. No. Oh God...It is going to hurt, isn't it?"
Finally, a wall lifted up around GLaDOS' body, blocking Chell from viewing anything.
Then, Wheatley screamed.
But it was the sound of GLaDOS' scream that made Chell's entire being freeze.
O
The sounds of wires ripping.
The creak of metal folding.
Finally, Chell backed away as the wall disappeared into the ground. What she saw made her eyes widen in shock; GLaDOS was lying on the floor with the wires yanked out of her body and Wheatley was standing there in a metal, bipedal body with the wires attached to the ceiling. He reminded Chell of one of those silly little final bosses she once saw on a video game in her childhood played by two other children in Aperture, but never did she think it would look this...horrifying.
"Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!" Wheatley said, studying his metal hands and body with delight, "We did it! I'm in control of the whole facility now! Whoa-ho-ho! Would you look at this. Not too bad, eh? Giant robot. Massive! It's not just me, right? I'm bloody massive, aren't I?"
To prove his point, the panels in the wall opened up, flapping like wings and cubes were tossed around wildly on Aerial Faith Plates. Chell had to admit, it was a pretty impressive sight seeing that tiny sphere on the metal body performing these tricks. But she really had every intention of wanting to leave, so she tapped Wheatley on his massive side and he turned, laughing and nodding his head, realizing how small she looked.
"Oh! Right, the escape lift! I'll call it now." he said, gesturing to the other side of the chamber. In a minute, the lift was brought up. "There we go. Lift called."
Chell smiled and approached, but not before staring down at the immobile GLaDOS lying there on the floor. Not moving. The smile disappeared from her face and she felt herself lingering for reasons she didn't know, but shook those doubts away and stepped into the lift. Wheatley was still marveling over his new-found power and continued to laugh with delight. Chell stepped into the lift and watched him, somewhat amused, but somewhat doubtful.
"I knew it was gonna be cool being in charge of everything, but...wow, this is cool!" he cried. He turned back to Chell and added sheepishly. "Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting."
The lift slowly started to ascend while Wheatley continued to toy with the chamber.
"This body is amazing, seriously!" he continued happily. "I'm so...huge and you're so small! So small down there! Look at me! It's amazing!"
He laughed and slowly, it began to build into a disturbing cackle that straightened the hairs on Chell's body. She glanced upwards, wishing the lift would go faster. However, just as she feared, something changed in Wheatley's voice and his laugh died down.
"Hang on just a second, why do we have to leave right now?" he crooned, descending the lift once more back to the chamber. "This...this is amazing. It feels...oh wow, you have no idea how good it feels to have this body! I did all of this and now, look at me!"
When the lift stopped, GLaDOS finally spoke, and it sounded so weak, as if she had been a real human who had run a thousand miles. "You didn't do anything," she spat, glaring weakly up at the towering being. "She did all the work."
Wheatley glared down at her, that blue optic flickering with red. "Did I ASK you to talk?" he spat, reaching down and grabbing her by the throat.
[She's laughing at you]
(Lookatthemlaughingatyou)
Chell shook her head frantically, wishing Wheatley would stop. Whatever it was, this body...the mainframe was turning the once peaceful, chatty sphere into a...
...a monster.
GLaDOS weakly gripped at the metal hand holding her.
"Yes...maybe it's time I did something then." Wheatley hissed. He looked at Chell. "Don't think I'm not onto you too, lady. Do you know what you are? Selfish. I've done nothing but sacrifice to get us here! What have you sacrificed? NOTHING. Zero. All you've done is BOSS ME AROUND. Well, NOW who's the boss? Who's the boss?" He brought his entire body close to Chell's and that blue optic flickered madly. "It's me!"
He started laughing with glee.
And then, GLaDOS started to laugh.
It surprised Chell and Wheatley and they stared at her. She grinned up at Wheatley. "I know you..."
He squinted at her furiously. "I'm sorry, what did you just say?"
GLaDOS smirked at him, despite the agony on her face. "When they built me, they did everything they could to make me behave for them..." she hissed, "Everything. They did more harm than good...Their filthy human hands touching me...tearing me apart. There was this one time, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas."
Wheatley shook his sphere rapidly. "No! No, you're lying!" he spat, "No!"
"Yes!" GLaDOS cried, her grin wide and mad despite the pain. "It was YOUR VOICE!"
Wheatley clenched his other fist and Chell shook her head pleadingly.
It won't be enough.
It'll NEVER be enough...
"You were the tumor in my head!" GLaDOS spat, knowing she was hitting all the marks, "You're not just any simple moron. You were the test-tube moron of the future!" She laughed cruelly, squirming in his grip.
"I AM NOT A MORON!" Wheatley roared, flinging GLaDOS into the elevator with Chell.
"Yes! Yes you are!" GLaDOS shouted over him. "YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!"
Chell wished GLaDOS would shut up because Wheatley could kill them both.
Stop talking! she thought frantically, Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
"Moron?" Wheatley spat, "COULD A MORON DO THIS?!"
He delivered a punch to the lift, rocking it violently. He did it over and over again, screaming to the point that he might have been driven insane. "Well, how about now? NOW WHO'S A MORON? Could a MORON PUNCH! YOU! INTO! THIS! PIT? Huh? Could a moron do THAT?"
The entire lift crumbled and plummeted into darkness.
The sensation of bitterness toward the betrayal of Wheatley was the only thing she felt right now, even as she was plummeting into oblivion.
But at least she wasn't alone this time.
O
They were still falling.
How could they STILL be falling?
Chell looked warily over at GLaDOS, who seemed oddly calm despite what she had just gone through. A sarcastic smile touched her face. "Oh. Hi there," she said, "Are you holding up all right?" She leaned back against the glass of the lift and arched a single brow. "Since this is all your fault, I thought I'd take a small pause in our dilemma to give you a round of applause for putting the greatest moron of Aperture in charge of my entire facility."
She clapped a few times to prove her point. Chell simply grimace and didn't even offer a valid glare.
Really, it was her fault.
GLaDOS leaned forward and looked down the darkness of the lift. "Well, unless you have a plan to stop this thing from killing us both, it looks like we're going to end our little feud at the bottom of this pit - if it has a bottom, anyway."
Chell looked around frantically. There had to be some kind of emergency shutdown switch in this lift somewhere. There was a panel at her feet that she frantically began to pry and GLaDOS got the hint, knowing what she was doing.
"Destroying more Aperture property," she muttered, "I'm adding that to the list."
Chell didn't have time for her ranting and slammed her heel into the panel, yanking it open just long enough to spot a red button beneath.
Not taking any chances, she slammed her foot into it.
The lift suddenly screeched to a painful halt, inches from the ground before it could be destroyed; the force sent the two flying into the ceiling of it before dropping to the floor. Immediately, Chell's entire world went black.
She had a dream too.
She saw herself as a child, happily running through golden wheat in pursuit of a man who called playfully for her. There was a female voice as well, so soothing and so familiar. It couldn't have been a real dream because Chell was told she had been abandoned as an infant.
But the warmth of the voices felt so comforting.
Mom... Dad...
Outside of the dream world, GLaDOS was dragging Chell's body from the lift. She bent down to the human and studied her condition; a few cuts and scrapes, but overall, she didn't look like her life functions had been terminated in any way. There was blood trickling from her busted lip and GLaDOS leaned forward, curious by the sight of it. She reached out with one hand and touched Chell's lip, carrying some blood on her pristine fingers.
It was warm.
Humans had so many different kinds of fluids they secreted, it was uncanny. Where did they put it all anyway? She wasn't unfamiliar with humans and their biology entirely, but she never spent too much time studying them to the fullest extent.
They were all stupid after all.
Except for this one.
She didn't break, no matter how badly GLaDOS made her suffer. Maybe she had to increase her efforts once they got out of here. She looked up and noticed various buildings bearing the markings of Aperture Science. They must have fallen into the Old Aperture Facility from the past.
GLaDOS looked down when Chell began to stir. In a few seconds, Chell's dull gray eyes opened.
"Oh good, you're awake," GLaDOS said, "I'd be quite disappointed if a simple lift could kill you where I couldn't."
Chell gave her a dirty look, which looked funny given her weak grimace.
"Now get up, we have to get moving," GLaDOS ordered, taking Chell's arm and yanking her to her feet.
Well, that didn't exactly help as Chell felt a wave of nausea take her over. She jerked away from GLaDOS and threw up onto the ground. The AI made a face of disgust and if she was able to, she'd turn green at what she saw.
"You humans are disgusting," she snapped, "Expelling fluids out of every part of you."
Chell was leaning on a piece of metal that had been buried in the dirt and simply raised her hand in the air, making a rude gesture that GLaDOS was unfortunately familiar with when there were still humans wandering around in her facility.
"I never put it passed you to behave so childishly vulgar," she sighed.
A low rumble stopped her and both looked up. Several rocks crumbled from the surrounding facility and one narrowly missed crushing Chell. GLaDOS' mockery was gone and now she looked genuinely worried.
"Did you feel that? That idiot doesn't know what he's doing up there," she said, "This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if somebody doesn't disconnect him. You're going to need to take me up to replace him."
Chell gave her a stare as if to say "YOU'RE JOKING". GLaDOS sighed and gave her a warning stare. "You CAN'T tell me my being in charge is any worse than that little moron."
Chell didn't want to admit it, but considering what had happened, GLaDOS had a point.
"We're at an impasse, it seems," the AI pointed out, taking a step closer, "And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him." She smiled now and offered her hand. "So what do you say? You take me back up to him and put me back in control, and I stop us from blowing us all to whatever-kingdom-come humans worship and let you go."
Chell stared down at the offered hand and squinted at her suspiciously.
GLaDOS looked down at her hand and then back up at Chell. "No, no, it's fine. I'm actually a lot cleaner than any inch of you. In fact, I'm the one soiling myself by even considering touching any part of your body. So in a sense, you come out a winner in this."
Chell rolled her eyes at the insult and reluctantly shook GLaDOS' hand. It oddly felt warm. She frowned at this, but GLaDOS didn't give her a change to consider it as she was already starting to walk away. Chell walked after her.
"This place is bigger than I remembered..." GLaDOS said, mildly uncertain in her voice.
Chell exhaled with exhaustion.
The day just took a strange turn.