Chapter 28 – Trouble Me
Nelly and the rest of her foursome were already social outcasts, but now they've become the untouchables, treated by the rest of the school as if they've suddenly developed pox or became lepers. Kids would point and whisper as they passed them in the hallways, and everyone steered clear of their little corner of the lunchroom. Even the teachers were giving Nelly a cold shoulder. She came to a conclusion that she was more comfortable being ignored, still it never made her regret speaking out at the memorial. The people she cared about were still her friends, and she couldn't care less about everyone else. Nel just grit her teeth and grasped Harry's hand a little tighter as they walked between classes, and was glad that the school year would be out in three months. Twelve long weeks. It seemed like forever, and even if she'd have to work through the entire summer, she'd still take it gladly over pointing and whispers. There were times when an insane wish took hold of her, to be back in her old school with Donna, but all Nel needed was one of Harry's beaming smiles and life made sense again.
As to Donna, she didn't call again, but Nelly still missed her fiercely. So much, that Nel decided to call her and find out what was new with her oldest, best friend. Loosing Cliff just reminded Nelly how precious the few friends she had were. She didn't want to loose Donna completely. Nel dialled the number and was relieved to hear the girl's voice on the other end.
"Oh, Donna, thank God it's you." Nel said breathlessly.
"Hi Nel," Donna's voice was guarded, and Nel's heart fell.
"How have you been? Is everything OK? "
"No, nothing is OK, not since that stupid dance, Nel. Everything is totally crappy. I haven't seen you in weeks!" Her friend whispered hotly, and Nelly breathed a sigh of relief, "I hate this distance between us, but my parents are so stubborn."
"Maybe I could come over and explain, talk to them. Do you think they'd listen?"
Donna must have been considering Nel's suggestion, then said, "Maybe it's worth a try. What's the worst that can happen..?"
"Yeah, can't get much worse than this," agreed Nelly with a crooked smile.
"Let me work on them, Nel. It might take a few days, but I think there's hope!" Donna's voice squeaked excitedly. "I would love to get back to our weekends together. I've missed you so much, Nelly."
Nel thought of how she spent here weekends in Donna's absence, about babysitting jobs and staying at the Winston's. "I have so much to tell you, Donna, so much has happened. It'll take us hours to catch up when we meet."
"I'm dying to hear all about it! But tell me the most important stuff now."
"Remember my friend, Cliff, the goth kid I met the first day at Kennedy?"
"The little genius?"
"Yeah. Well, he died." It's been weeks, but Nelly still had to hold back tears before she continued, "He was killed, stabbed by one of the guys who harassed us at the dance."
"Oh my God, that's terrible."
"It was terrible." Nel just couldn't bring herself to share the details. "He was really special and I miss him."
"I'm so sorry, Nel." There was a brief silence, and then Donna asked, "How about the biker kids? You're still friends with them?"
"Yes." Nelly couldn't help smiling, "Remember Harry, the big guy? You asked me to tell you if anything changed between me and him. Well, he's my boyfriend, since Christmas."
Donna's reaction was hard to gauge, but when she spoke, she didn't sound excited, "That's good, if that's what you want. What's he like?"
"He is amazing," gushed Nelly, ignoring her friend lukewarm response, "so considerate and sweet, gentle and protective, and we can talk about anything. He's everything I could ever wish for. "
"Sounds like a regular prince charming."
"As close as it can get in real life." She couldn't help admitting, "I love him so much, Donna."
"I'm happy for you, Nel, you deserve the best," said Donna earnestly, and Nel was sure she meant it.
"How about you? Is there someone you like?"
"Even if I do, my family is very good at chasing them away. I'm loosing hope, Nel."
"Be patient. I'll be worth it. And when you find him, I hope he's just like Harry."
"If you say so," giggled Donna, and then abruptly all the sound stopped, then her voice returned, quick and urgent, "Crap, Nel, my mom is back from shopping, I better run. I'll call you once my parents are ready. I can't wait to see you!" And with that, she was gone. Nelly smiled, hoping that soon they would start mending bridges.
+0+
Even with brief spots of hope and sunshine, it was a long and difficult spring, as bad as the winter and in drastic contrast to their careless fall. Nel and the others tried to convince Jax that Cliff's death wasn't his fault, but it was as if their words bounced off of him like rubber balls. After his dad's death and everything that happened, Jax had shut himself away to grieve, only allowing Tara in. After all the heartache they've caused each other, she was still the only person he let inside. It was unhealthy, like a bad habit or an addiction, but Nel figured that's what desperate love was like. Instead of hanging out with each other, they all were spending most of their free time working. Nelly was getting more babysitting referrals, but whenever she wasn't working, she spent that time with Harry. The boys were at the garage every day and Tara doubled up on her volunteering at the hospital. By accident or design, they didn't have a lot of time together as a foursome, and in the weeks that followed Cliffy's death, life had changed them. The innocence of their youth had been shattered by random violence in their lives. With a sense of real loss and renewed grief, Nelly realized that instead of bringing them together, it was slowly tearing them apart. But Harry was always there. He was her one and only constant.
Inevitably, with Harry, came SAMCRO family. Nelly had become a fixture in life of the Winstons. Piney practically treated her like his own kid, and both father and son insisted that Nelly join them for Gemma's dinners. Jax's mother always welcomed her warmly and eagerly, she seemed to like her, and Nel felt lucky to be in her good graces. It seemed whatever force was guiding Nel's fate, had brought her and Harry together at a good time. Aunt Linda and Simon were fighting more often then not, and Troy was in the wind, running illegal errands for the Nords. The Winstons and their house had become a heaven she didn't expect, but was so grateful to have.
+0+
But the Winstons had their own problems. Mary would make frequent surprise visits, under the pretence of collecting alimony payments, but mainly to push Piney's buttons. Most times, Harry and Nel would manage to avoid her entirely. Piney wasn't nearly as lucky. On a Saturday evening in late April, Nelly and Harry arrived at the Winston's house to find Mary's car in the driveway. They were stopping there briefly so Harry could shower and change after a day in the garage and before they joined everyone at Gemma's for dinner.
Harry's reaction was instant, "Shit. Do you think you can stand being around her while I get ready? Promise I'll be quick."
"Yeah, piece of cake." Nelly replied confidently, but her stomach clenched with anxiety. Her last conversation with Mary was over the phone and it didn't go very well. Clearly, Harry's mother didn't like her, and the feeling was mutual.
Mary was sitting at the kitchen table and gave them an icy look as they walked in, "Well, look what the cat dragged in."
"Nice to see you too, mother." Harry said through clenched teeth and with a quick look at Nelly, and finding reassurance, he headed for the bathroom.
While Harry washed and changed, Nelly put away groceries they picked up for Piney. She could feel Mary's eyes studying her, but tried to ignore it. After a few moments of silence, Mary said in a voice dripping with malice, "So, you're the famous Nelly. How did he dazzle you, that ungrateful thug..? With his daddy's bike?"
Nelly paused and turned to the woman, confused and insulted on Harry's behalf. "Harry's not a thug." Why would his mother say something so terrible about him?
"He'll grow up to be another biker with a chip on his shoulder and a taste for women, just like his father. You should get the hell away while you still can."
At that moment Harry returned. "Leave her alone, mother. Nelly doesn't have to listen to your bullshit."
"Oh, she better listen, listen and learn, so she doesn't end up like me. With a gangster for a husband and a bully for a son."
Nelly's fury had risen to the surface. Through the months she had known Harry and his dad, they showed her more kindness than her own father. "If you think Harry is a bully, then you obviously don't know your son." She took a step forward, her face flushed with anger, "Harry's got so much good in him. He may be big, but he doesn't use it against others. He protects the weak, he's kind, and he's learned it from his dad. You should be proud of your son and thankful he's nothing like you."
For a moment, both mother and son were speechless, each for different reasons. Harry looked at Nelly with a mix of surprise and affection in his eyes. Mary just stared in shock, then said, "You are one sassy girl. But who else would want him?"
Nelly's anger turned into cold rage. She turned to her boyfriend, "You're right, Harry. She's horrible."
"Oh, am I now?" Mary mocked them, with a sour smile. "Just wait a few years. You'll cry bitter tears and understand why I'm so horrible."
"Come on, Nelly." Harry put his arm firmly around Nelly's shoulder and lead her to the door as the girl was about to respond. "It's not worth it."
+0+
They got into his pick-up and Harry put the keys in the ignition, but didn't start the car. He just sat there quietly, staring ahead. Nelly noticed tears forming in his eyes as Harry whispered, "Why does she hate me so much?"
"I know she's your mother, but that woman is a nasty piece of work," said Nelly, unable to keep the venom out of her voice, "You didn't deserve that."
Harry leaned his head on his arms resting on the steering wheel and a silent sob shook his body.
Nelly's eyes clouded with tears as she watched her boyfriend's pain, "Oh, Harry, I'm so sorry."
She had never seen him so devastated. All Nelly wanted to do was take away his pain, make it her own, do anything so he'd stop hurting. She slid over to him on the car bench and put her arms over his shaking shoulders, her hand smoothing his short hair, "Don't listen to her, Harry. I know you, and you're a good, decent person."
He turned to Nelly, his face streaked with tears, guilt and shame clear in his eyes, "Maybe I am, but even if I'm not, isn't she supposed to love me anyway? The good and the bad?"
I'm the wrong person to ask, Nelly thought darkly, but this pain of his wrecked her heart and all she said was, "Yes, she should. It's her loss that she doesn't."
As Harry sat back, she watched his face harden. He rubbed away the tears angrily, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have unglued like this." His hand reached for the keys in the ignition, but Nel stopped it mid-air.
"Harry..." She whispered, leaned over and kissed his lips softly, tasted the salt of his heartache. At first he resisted, but soon he surrendered to Nelly and pulled her into his lap, his lip parting and allowing her in. By the time they broke the kiss, they were both breathless, their foreheads resting against each other.
"My sweet, big guy," Nel's hand caressed his face, "I hope you know that I love you."
"I know." He smiled as he gave a happy sigh, "Then I'm very lucky."
"No, I'm the lucky one." Nel said and kissed him again.
+0+
The drive to the Tellers didn't take long. They walked into a house full of fragrant smells of barbeque. Sounds of animated conversations and laughter welcomed Harry and Nel as they entered the dinning room. Steaming dishes brimming with food were just set on the table.
"Well, look who finally decided to show up!" Gemma called over from the head of the table. It was her birthday and she was donning a glittery plastic crown.
"I can imagine why they're late," Tig shouted from the back end and most people, already well into the drink, roared with laughter.
"If you imagined my mother, then you'd be right." Harry called back, unabashed, and Piney gave him a sharp look. "She'll be waiting for you, Pops."
"Forget her, Piney," Gemma laid a hand on Piney's arm, "The Birthday Queen commands you to enjoy the party."
"Hear, hear..." Mr. Winston replied and poured two fingers of scotch down his throat.
"Come on, kids, squeeze in next to Jax and Tara, as far away as possible from Tiggy here. He's been naughty and can't be trusted around pretty girls."
"Oh, no worries, we can handle Tiggy," Jax said while he exchanged a wink with Harry, "Wouldn't let any harm come to our girls."
"He'd have to go through me first." Harry gave Tig a menacing look, while Tig shook his fist in reply, and then both burst out laughing.
"Stop showing off and sit down." Gemma said, "Everyone, dig in. Dinner's getting cold."
Harry and Nel heaped food on each other's plates and then chatted with people around them while filling up. As on all her previous visits to club dinners, Nel was struck with a sense of warmth and well-being while in the company of Sons and their families. She turned to Harry and inclined her lips to his ear. She said over the ding of the conversations around them, "This is your family, Harry. And there's plenty of love here."
His eyes smiled at Nel. Harry gave her a brief, soft kiss on the lips and said, "You're here, that's all that matters."